Chapter 1
One
Hayden
Day after day, I walk into this studio and there he is in the distance, grabbing a bagel or coffee from the breakfast table or exiting his trailer with confidence radiating off him.
He’s this beacon of light, and I’m a man who’s finally found his way out of the dark tunnel I kept hitting dead ends in.
“Hayden, you’re here. Thank fuck,” one of the other cameramen say. “I need to leave early, so I need you to take over for me.”
“I’m not supposed to be filming until tomorrow. I’m only here to go over a few takes.”
“I know, but my wife went into labor, and I really need to be at the hospital.”
“Is this for the new horror film starring Sterling Maxwell?”
“That’s the one. They’ll need you on camera A. Please?” He presses his hands together and looks at me with pleading eyes. “I’ll owe you big.”
It’s finally happening. I get to work alongside him. We’ll be on the same set and only feet apart. He’ll be performing for my camera in a professional setting for the first time. My body buzzes with excitement. “Alright, but you will owe me,” I say, shaking a finger at him.
“Yes, whatever you need. Thanks, man.” He gives me a grateful smile.
I lift the corners of my lips slightly, patting him on the shoulder. “Yeah, yeah. Now get out of here and go welcome your new daughter into the world.”
His face lights up. “I’ll see you later, and you assholes better be prepared for me to come back to work with lots of photos.”
“We’re counting on it,” Lisa, one of the directors, says from where she’s sitting.
Laughing, I shake my head. “So much for having most of the day off,” I say, pretending to sound more disappointed about it than I am.
It just gives me more time with my little icon.
We can spend all day and night together, but he’ll only know about the first one.
He’s not ready to know about the times he can’t see me watching him.
“No rest for the wicked, eh?” Lisa chirps and I chuckle.
“I guess not.” If only she knew how true that statement really was.
“We’ll be starting in an hour.”
“Great. Just when I thought I’d be able to eat my lunch at the table like a normal person for once.”
“Wait, people actually get to eat lunch around here?” Sterling quips and I stiffen.
He’s talking to me. I didn’t even realize he was so close by.
When did he leave his trailer? Does he know I’ll be on the same set today?
Does he care? My stomach flutters. Fuck, he’s even more beautiful when he’s only a few inches away.
I want to reach out and touch him, but I restrain myself.
Not yet. Neither of us is ready for that yet.
“Some of us need to,” I say, trying to get my nerves under control. “Otherwise, you’ll all have to deal with a very grumpy camera guy.”
He flashes a smile and it gives me a fuzzy feeling. “That’s me if I don’t get my morning coffee.” His eyes zoom in on the bag I’m carrying over my shoulder. “You’re the new cameraman on the movie today.” It’s a realization, not a question.
“Yup. That’s me. I’m Hayden.” I offer my hand and he studies my stretched-out fingers before taking it. Is he nervous too?
The corners of his mouth bunch. “I’m Sterling. One of the actors.”
As if he had to tell me that. His face is plastered everywhere. He’s on billboards, infomercials, and at least ten kids who showed up at my door last Halloween were dressed up as one of his characters. “The main actor.”
His cute little dimples pop out as his face flushes. “Well . . . one of the main ones, I guess. All of us are equally important.”
“That you are,” I pretend to agree. No one’s as important as my favorite star.
No one. He’s the one people are really paying attention to.
He steals the show every time with how deep into his role he gets.
He was made for each film he’s cast in. More than he realizes.
“It was nice formally meeting you. I’ll see you in a bit. ”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll definitely be around,” he says, sounding coy and placing his hands in front of his swaying body. Is he flirting? He can’t be. Unless he’s like me and didn’t need long to see the potential between us.
I walk away first, grabbing a bagel on the way to one of the back rooms. I pull out a chair and turn on one of the monitors to view footage from the last project I was on, but I keep thinking about Sterling the whole time, not making a whole lot of progress.
Looks like I’ll be staying at the studio late tonight.
That could mess up my plans for later, and I’ve never liked having anything get in the way of those.
Or maybe . . . just maybe it’ll help make them go smoother.
A knock comes to the door, and a blond guy sticks his head in. I’ve seen him around, but I’m horrible with names and see way too many faces every day to keep up with everyone who works here. “They’re ready for you in twenty.”
“Thanks. I’ll be out shortly.”
He nods, tapping his headset, and closes the door behind him.
Getting up from my chair, I glance down at the half-eaten bagel and toss it in the trash as I walk out the door with my camera hanging off my shoulder.
I set everything up, doing a few test runs while zooming my lens in and out.
As I’m bringing it into focus one last time, Sterling steps onto the set and into perfect view, running his fingers through his thick, black, silky hair.
I’m happy to say, it’s as soft as it looks too.
I’ve tugged at the luscious strands before, the light weight of each one feathering my skin.
He’s always been sleeping when I’ve done it and he’s a heavy sleeper.
It works in my favor. He was made for me and the life we’re going to share together.
I’m still waiting for our stars to align perfectly, but they’re almost there. I can feel it.
He catches me off guard, silencing my thoughts when he waves at me. He grins and does a silly pose. “Getting a good view, camera guy?”
“Yes. A very good one.” I get a much better one at night when I’m in his room, perched on the edge of his bed with my phone recording his chest rising and falling steadily.
The moment he wakes up and catches me will be the moment we move to the next stage of our relationship.
I keep waiting and waiting. I’ve been there for nightmares, sleep talking, and even him subconsciously stroking himself.
He places his hand on his hip, jutting the other side out and batting his lashes. “And now?”
“Even better,” I muse.
“Everybody almost ready?” Lisa says from behind me.
“I’m always ready,” Sterling clips, flattening the front of his black button down with the palm of his hand.
“I’m all good to go,” I say after him, and three other people give a thumbs-up.
“Good, good. Where’s Sheila?” Lisa glances around with panic in her eyes. She’s going to worry herself to death one day if she keeps it up.
“Right here.” A redhead rushes to Sterling’s side, waving her hand. She’s wearing a floral dress and navy pumps.
“Perfect. We’re ready to get the show on the road, then.” Lisa waves her hands around and snaps her fingers at the guys controlling the lights. She sits in her chair, waiting for everyone to take their places before calling, “Action!”
“We’re going to be late. My parents aren’t exactly your biggest fans as it is,” Sheila says, pushing a button into place on the sleeve of Sterling’s shirt.
He pushes her away. “I know. I know. I just need to make one more phone call.”
The scene goes on, leading the characters outside and midway to their car.
They’re bickering and there’s so much raw emotion in Sterling’s face.
He really dives into the scene, improving the whole atmosphere.
It’s so hard not to focus on him alone. She grabs him by the collar, her eyes penetrating his, and he grips her chin.
I see red when they press their mouths together, with their tongues moving quickly against each other. He’s even good at faking a passionate kiss. His energy is off, though, and I’m probably the only one who notices. Because unlike everyone else around here, I see him for who he really is.
Sheila tugs at his strands the same way I have, and I ball a fist against the camera, my hackles rising. Not only will she be one of the victims in this film, but she’ll also be one in the first movie he and I make together just for us.