Chapter 4
Four
Sterling
My eyes flicker open to the sunlight invading my trailer.
Stretching out my arms, I rub sleep from my eyes.
As I sit up, I look down in surprise when I’m not greeted by my usual morning wood.
My body feels sated and I think last night might have been the best sleep I’ve had in a long time.
I toss the covers off and I’m less on edge about filming today than I was yesterday.
What’s changed? It’s been two whole days since I’ve been able to get off, and every time I tried during breaks, someone would knock on my damn door, instantly killing the mood and leading me to nap instead.
Was it the pizza? Are the sleep meds finally helping?
Or was it the fact I finally got to have a full-on, no-pressure conversation with another person.
Not once was I given pointers or asked about my next movie.
And the man was also genuinely being kind instead of being nice to me only to get something in return.
I was expecting him to ask me to recommend his next movie or hand me his card if I enjoyed having him as part of my team, but he never did any of that.
Didn’t ask me to help him meet anyone famous or other directors I’ve worked with either.
He was just a guy who knew what it was like to put his work before his own needs and was wanting to share his pizza to show his understanding. He was funny too. There was this captivating sparkle in his eyes when he looked at me, almost as if I were the only thing to exist in the whole world.
It didn’t hurt that he was easy on the eyes either.
Not that I would do anything with that information.
Yes, I’ve questioned my sexuality many times before, only to brush it off with my future in mind.
I knew a guy last year who came out as gay and it limited his chances at movie roles.
I can’t risk that happening to me. Not when my career is finally starting to take off.
I don’t know if having my fans find out I’m bi would have the same impact, but I’m not sure I’m ready to know the answer. We also work together, so he’d be off limits anyway. I search for some clothes and once dressed, I head out for a run.
Nothing wakes me up like exercise and fresh air.
I lap around the building a couple of times while checking my watch and wishing I packed my headphones.
A car slows beside me, honking and with the window rolled down.
“Morning, movie star,” Hayden says with a smile.
“You should have told me you liked going for jogs, I would’ve joined you. ”
“Next time for sure,” I shout and he nods.
“Yeah, next time. See you inside.”
I wave him off and go back to getting my workout in. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and when I see my manager’s name, I put it to my ear.
“Hey, Lacey.”
“Sterling. You’re up. I thought you’d be sleeping still after I heard how late you turned in last night. And what’s this about you eating pizza with the cameraman?”
I sigh. “Okay, who’s the snitch?”
“Does it really matter? You know Lisa has a very strict set of rules, and if you want her to keep casting you—”
“I know,” I say, cutting her off. “I have to follow them if I want to keep starring in her movies, and I have for the most part, but is it so wrong for me to take one small break from those nasty ass sandwiches.”
She huffs. “Okay, fine, but promise me from here on there’ll be no more slip-ups.”
“You have my word.”
“You only have a few more takes left, and then you can go off to do whatever it is you like to do to wind down for a couple of days. But don’t forget, you have a booking on the Tonight Show coming up.”
“I won’t. I have to get back and shower before it’s time to shoot the next scene. I’ll see you in a couple of days.”
“Bye . . . and don’t forget, no more pizza or—”
“Staying awake late. I got it.”
“Only making sure. I want your career to continue to flourish, and once you have a couple more movies under your belt, then you’ll have more freedom to eat and sleep however you’d like.”
“Okay. I really do have to go. I still need to make time to eat those bland eggs and dry turkey bacon.”
She chuckles. “See you on Wednesday.”
We both end the call and I walk through the main building, passing the bagels and donuts.
I grab a plate and scoop eggs onto it before adding turkey sausage.
No bacon today, I guess. As I’m walking back to my trailer, hair sticking to my forehead from sweat, Hayden is laughing with another cameraman and I can’t take my eyes off them for some reason, looking away when Hayden’s eyes meet mine.
I continue toward the back door and don’t look back no matter how much I want to. He does smile with other people after all. They were both laughing together and standing a little too close. Oh my god, why do I care?
Why is my gut twisting the more I think about it, and why does this man have such a weird effect on me?
As soon as this movie is done, I’ll not only take a trip to the nearest beach, but I’ll also make sure to get laid too.
That’s what it has to be. Me missing the touch and attention of another person.
Before I can make it all the way through the door of my trailer, I’m stopped by one of the production assistants. “Morning, Mr. Maxwell. Anything I can get you today?”
I’m about to shake my head, but then I look at my plate and my face wrinkles in disinterest. “Yeah, actually. How about something that actually tastes good.”
Her interest peaks. “Is that allowed?”
“No, but you’d be willing to keep a secret, wouldn’t you?”
Looking around her, she leans forward, cupping her hand around her mouth. “Of course. These lips are sealed.” She pretends to zip her lips shut.
“Cool. How about some lemon-glazed pop tarts from Lotus bakery?”
“Sure. I actually have another actor wanting something from there.” She tenses. “Oops, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about that either.”
“Don’t worry.” I place a hand on her shoulder. “My lips are also sealed.”
She laughs. “I’ll call and get that order in for you so it’s fresh.”
“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”
“Of course.”
She darts off in the opposite direction, clutching her clipboard to her chest, and Hayden holds the door of the main building open for her while waving at me.
I give him an awkward smile and hurry into my trailer with my heart galloping in my chest. What is going on with me?
I need to get it together and try to avoid him as much as possible today.
And I manage to convince myself that thinking about him fucking me while I’m jerking myself off in my dressing room shower will help me lose interest the way I typically do after sleeping with someone.
That I can somehow trick my mind and body.
Too bad I’m completely wrong and all it does is make me watch him more during filming while putting on my best performance for his camera.