Andrew
Danielle is waiting for him in the player’s parking lot after their home opener.
It’s been almost a month since he’s heard from her and started trying to heal.
He hadn’t known how much he had loved her until he tried to pull her from every part of his life.
From his camera roll, to his favorite shirt she had stolen from him that night he’d stayed at her house, only returning it when she knew he was leaving, to the smell of her in his truck.
He’d had so much cleaning up to do since she’d left that he hadn’t even been able to think about anything else, but all he’d been able to see while he was trying to get rid of her was her .
He never thought he’d be one to relate to the ‘achy breaky heart’ genre of country music until he’d found himself living in it.
Now, looking back, he wonders if it was a sign. But, she’s here. All five-nine of her, wearing his name and number on her back and looking every bit his.
He does his rounds with the few fans that have waited outside after the game, feeling like his old self again as he interacts with them. He’s grinning as he takes pictures and signing autographs, nodding along as they tell him their own hockey stories and compliment him on his third period goal.
This is so much better than last year.
He even gets a couple of numbers slipped to him, and he considers pocketing them so that Danielle can see, but even he isn’t that mean. And, if he’s being completely honest with himself, he’s already had the best woman the world has to offer.
None of these ones will ever compare to her.
After about half an hour, he looks over his shoulder at Danielle, and tells himself to just walk by her. His brain has other plans, though, because instead of taking him to his truck, his feet walk him right over to stand in front of her .
He sets his gear bag on the ground, thinking that if he’s going to have this conversation, he’s not going to be a hockey player. He’s going to be Andrew. Hurt, frustrated, vulnerable Andrew. It’s the side she knows, and the side she barely deserves, but he wants to give that to her.
She looks as uncertain as he feels, hands shoved in her pockets, and chewing at her lip. He doesn’t know what she’s expecting, and he didn’t know that his heart was going to slam into his ribs and his hands were going to shake seeing her again.
There is nothing more he wants to do than pull her into his arms and say all is forgiven, no matter what she’s here to say, but he can’t. Not yet.
He swallows, squeezing his hands into fists. Blue meets hazel, and it’s all over for him. If she’s here to ask him to take her back, he’ll do it. He’s that much of a sucker for this woman.
“Why are you here?” he asks, finally. He keeps a safe distance between them, as if it could protect his heart from what’s coming.
“Why haven’t you called?” she counters, rocking from her heels to her toes .
“Oh, I don’t know, Danielle,” he says, harsher than he intends. She winces at his tone of voice, and he folds his arms over his chest. “You said you couldn’t do this anymore, and asked for space. I was just doing what you wanted.”
“What are you talking about?”
He pulls his phone out of his pocket and holds it up so that she can see his lock screen, watching as her eyes scan through the messages there. They widen in surprise, and then start to fill with tears.
He’d taken the screenshot of their text exchange two days after they’d initially had it, when his thumb had hovered over the call button for a good fifteen minutes and he’d gone to war in his head over if he should press it or not.
He’d immediately set it as his lock screen, after.
That way, when he would see his phone he would know that she needed space and they were done, and the last person she wanted to hear from was him.
“I never sent those,” she whispers, meeting his eyes again, “you have to believe me, I never would have sent those. ”
She covers her face with her hands, and his heart drops somewhere around his feet. He’s not used to her hiding from him.
“Well it’s your number, Dani,” he says, shoving his phone back in his pocket. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to think. All I know is that the day before, I was talking to you, and you didn’t even act like something was wrong.”
“I didn’t send them,” she says again, “and unless you’ve already made up your mind that we aren’t worth a try anymore, I want you to believe me.”
And he wants to, god, he wants to. He wants to wrap her up in his arms and take her home, hold her close for the rest of their lives. Tuck her into his chest and never let her go again.
“Why should I?” he asks. “When you threw me playing hockey in my face, even though we talked about it? When you knew that I was terrified of it being too much for you, but you said you could handle it.”
In for seven, out for seven .
He doesn’t want to panic. He wants to be calm, but it’s pulling all sorts of memories back into his head and he doesn’t know how to get them out .
He’d spent half of his adult life trying to avoid putting anyone in this exact situation, and now it’s blowing up in his face.
“Look at the date,” Danielle says, her voice steady as she gestures to his pocket. “Your home opener was the same day that I was in court to adopt Harper. I didn’t even have my phone on me when those were sent.”
He pulls his phone out again, checking the date and the timestamps. He had been so preoccupied with it being his first game back that even though it had briefly crossed his mind that she was adopting Harper, he’d forgotten about it in the craze.
“I was waiting for you to call after your game,” she says, “so that I could tell you that I won.”
He runs a hand over his face, wanting to throw his phone into the Neuse River and never see it again. Someone had lied to him, and he spent almost a month trying to fix a heart that shouldn’t have been broken in the first place.
“But then you didn’t call,” she says, voice cracking. “I knew you were busy, and I knew we never set that expectation, but I thought you would have remembered and wanted to know what happened. ”
“That text came through as I was leaving for PNC,” he said, “I left my phone at home, and by the time I got back I was so distraught from losing you, and losing the game, that I didn’t want to call. I’d already tried after I got the text and it went to voicemail.”
Danielle runs a hand over her face, and the first tear falls, tracking down her cheek. Andrew can’t help himself, he steps closer, and brushes it away with his thumb, gently.
“I didn’t get a missed call,” she says, shaking her head, “I don’t know what happened, Andy, but I didn’t want this. I wanted you.”
“If you didn’t send the messages, and decline my call, who did?” he asks, brushing another tear away before sliding his hands up and down her arms. She leans into the touch, but keeps a safe distance away.
“I handed my phone to my mom,” she says, “before I went to be sworn in as a witness. It could have been her, or anyone sitting on the bench with her. But, it wasn’t me . I was with my lawyer.”
The parking lot is empty, and Andrew is seeing so much clearer now. In the heat of the moment, he’d forgotten all logic and just let his emotions rush in before shutting them off again so that he could try to do his job.
He’d known that it was the day that Danielle had her custody hearing. He’d known that. He’d told his team the night before, and called to double check that she didn’t need him to get on a plane.
She had told him to stay, she didn’t want him to get in trouble for missing his game, even though he had told her he could take family leave for a day. Players had taken it for less important things.
“I got so caught up in being back, I forgot,” he says, stepping closer to her. She reaches out for him, and then thinks better of it and drops her hand back to her side.
“I thought that was what happened, but then you just… didn’t call,” she says, “and whoever sent those messages deleted all of them. I didn’t get any messages from you that day.”
“ Damn,” he says, running a hand over his face and turning slightly away from her. He lets out a gasp of relieved laughter before looking back at her. “You mean all I had to do was call, and we could have solved this problem? ”
“I never said you were a genius,” Danielle says, with a watery smile. “I don’t know who sent the texts. It could have been anyone, but I love you, Andy. If I ever wanted to break up with you, which I don’t, by the way, I would have at least done it face-to-face. I’m not a coward.”
“I panicked,” he says, “then I had to refocus on my game that day. I still played like garbage, just so you know.”
“I didn’t think it was that bad,” Danielle says, shrugging, “the team looked good, even if you were a mess. And spent more time in the box than on the ice.”
“You watched it?” he asks.
“Of course, I did,” she says, “my boyfriend is the Captain. I wasn’t just going to miss it. Plus, I had to see the game day fits. Maroon is definitely your color.”
This woman.
“But you also don’t get to pull that shit with me again, Fisher,” she says, voice stronger. “You don’t get to say you’re all in and then not talk to me when things may or may not go your way. That’s not how this works.”
She steps closer to him, poking his chest so hard he thinks it might bruise .
“I’m not the only one in this relationship,” she says, “you’ve got a six-year-old to think about, too. We trust you, we let you into our lives. So, keep earning it.”
“You’re right,” he says, rubbing at the spot where she poked him, “I’m sorry. Sometimes, I feel like I’m not a fully developed person when I’m around you.”
He holds his arms out, anyway, and she steps into his embrace, burying her face into his chest.
“Of course, you’re not fully developed; you’re a grizzly-bear demonrat,” she says, laughter in her voice muffled by his shirt, “at least that’s what the twin brothers say.”
“Still?” he groans. She pulls back, grinning up at him, and nods.
“That’s who you are, now,” she says, “no going back.”
“Well, you can’t win them all,” he says with a laugh, hugging around her waist and holding her as close as he can. He kisses the top of her head and buries his nose in her hair. “I love you, and I’m sorry, D.”
“Take me to your palace, Fisher,” she says, pulling back and looking up at him, “I’m here until Friday. ”
“Just Friday?” he whines, tugging her back into his chest and starting to walk towards his truck. She backs up and matches his steps.
“Well, you’re going to Canada on Saturday, and I do have a daughter to take care of,” she says, laughing as she matches his steps. “I thought a couple of days would be alright until I can bring Harper with me.”
“Is she okay?” he asks, turning her in his arms so her back is to his chest, and she can walk forward. “Did she think anything was wrong?”
Danielle shakes her head, “I told her you were busy travelling and the time difference was hard.”
“Starting motherhood out with a lie,” Andrew says, teasing gently, “that’s one way to do it.”
“She already lost one dad,” Danielle says, voice quiet, “I didn’t want her to think she’d lost you, too.”
“You guys aren’t going to lose me,” he says, “not again. Once was enough for a lifetime.”
He reaches his truck and opens the door for her, helping her climb inside. She jumps up on the seat and turns toward him, hooks a finger into the pocket of his hoodie and pulls him to her.
He steps between her legs, bracing his arms on the door above him as he leans in, pressing his lips against hers softly. Her hands find his hair, and he deepens the kiss slightly before pulling back.
“I missed you, D,” he says softly, pressing his forehead against hers. “So much, I couldn’t think straight.”
“I needed you,” she whispers, brushing their noses together, “and I couldn’t wait to see you any longer.”
“I’m right here,” he says softly, “I’ve got you. I’m so sorry.”
“Never again,” she says, pulling back to meet his eyes, “promise me.”
“I promise,” he slides his fingers through hers, and glances over her shoulder at the arena. “Do you… maybe want to come to my practice tomorrow?”
“What is this, high school?” she asks, but there isn’t malice in her voice. “I’ll come to your practice, Andy, but only if you show me all the ins and outs of being an NHL Wag.”
“How did you even know that that’s a thing?”
“It’s not 1875,” she says, hooking her arms over his shoulders, “Google exists. And I read about it in one of the books you put on display.”
“A woman after my heart. ”
“Thought I already had it.”
“You do,” he says, kissing her again, “you definitely do.”
Having Danielle in town and reminding him that she’s not going anywhere puts a new desire in him to play better, and for the next two days at practice and morning skate he’s on fire.
It feels so good.
He’s not saying he needed her here to play good hockey, but he’s not going to ignore the fact that he’s feeling more confident on the ice now that she is. It would take an idiot not to see the correlation, and he’s been enough of an idiot for the foreseeable future.
Now that she’s watching him from the suites at PNC, officially invited by the WAGs because she’s the Captain’s Girl, even though it normally takes longer to break into that particular crew of women, he feels like anything is possible.
She’s in the suite, wearing his name, and ready to jump in his arms when the game is over. Showing him what his life can be like having it all, even though he’s ready to give it up .
He’d decided when he’d woken up that morning, Danielle’s head pillowed on his arm, that his time in the NHL was coming to an end. He’d thought he would feel more panicked about it, but the moment the thought had crossed his mind he’d felt a wash of peace come over him.
If they win the Stanley Cup this year, he’s definitely done.
If not, he might give it one more year. No one knows this, of course, except for JT, who he’d texted once he’d given the thought time to digest. He’s still in the preliminary stages of decision-making, but he’s thinking that retiring might be what’s best for him.
He’s also thinking, that if he ends the season with a ring, Danielle might too.