6. And I won’t be denied
6
And I won’t be denied
Moth
D espite my groans and protests, Barrett convinced me to leave the house ‘just for a few hours’.
Of course, I protested, arguing that I ‘didn’t have time for this’. He countered with, ‘you owe me for the ten years of my birthdays that you’ve missed’, and so off we went into town to catch a late movie.
He said it would be good for me to get out of that house and away from the stalker, and once I finally saw the light of day, the wind in my hair, and the scent of clear country air, I reluctantly agreed.
Pulling into town, our first stop was the local diner. It was an amazing place, and I missed it during my time away. Kansas City may have diners, but none of them could compare to Mae’s Diner. It had been open for so many years that I doubted anyone named Mae ran it anymore, but the food tasted the same. So who knew?
It was a tiny brick building on the corner of Main Street, across from the courthouse. Walking in, it was exactly the same as I remembered. It smelled the same—not that I was surprised, it being a diner and all. The same gleaming metal tables sat in rows of two, outlined by booths along every wall. Black-and-white checkered tile covered the floor, and authentic 1950s memorabilia adorned the walls. The only thing missing were the smoking or nonsmoking sections that I remembered as a kid.
Man, I felt old.
Was twenty-eight considered old nowadays?
I let the door swing shut behind me. Barrett stood beside me, reaching up to pull his Stetson off. Something about the cowboy code and it being respectful not to wear your hat indoors. I didn’t get it, but it seemed to mean a lot to him, so I kept my opinions to myself.
Looking around, I recognized more faces than not. I saw Sheriff Banner, seated at one of the farthest tables. I caught his brown eyes, and he gave me a nod. Across the room, Tammy sat with Ray at a booth, and when she saw me, she waved enthusiastically. Tommy Eades, the firefighter who saved me, sat at a table near the door, and when he looked up, he nodded, his brown eyes glowing caramel in the sunlight.
“Hey dear.”
A voice sounded from my left and I turned in enough time to see Mama Mae, as we used to call her, standing at the long, low counter that lined the entire back wall. She had silver hair, pulled back in a tight bun at the base of her skull. Horn-rimmed glasses sat low on a Roman nose, revealing sky-blue eyes clouded with age. She was older when I was young. She had to be in her 80s now, and she looked just as strong as she ever had .
So I had been wrong. Mae’s Diner did still belong to Mae.
“Mama Mae!” I said, hurrying to the counter. I was careful to keep the flowered sundress I’d changed into before we left the house tucked beneath my tush as I took a seat on one of the barstools.
“I heard you came back,” she said, smiling. “I remember when you was just knee-high. Then I saw you at your daddy’s service, and I couldn’t believe how beautiful you’ve gotten.”
I could feel my face flushing and my eyes swimming with tears. This would never get easier. Every time anyone even mentioned my dad, I was crying. Maybe it was all of this damn regret coiled up in my gut.
“Thanks, Mae,” I said, dabbing beneath my eyes with the back of my hand. I didn’t wanna ruin the eyeliner. It had taken me 15 minutes to get it right.
“So what can I get for the two of you?” she asked, giving both Barrett and me gentle smiles. “On the house.”
“Oh Mae, you don’t have to—”
“Nonsense,” she said, waving a hand through the air. “We support our first responders in this town, and you each just lost one of the best ones Cottonwood Falls has ever known.”
She turned to Barrett.
“The both of ya. You were like a son to that man, he told me himself.”
I turned to look at him, and I saw tears swimming in his eyes.
“Now I insist. What’ll it be? ”
Barrett ordered a southwest omelet, hash browns, and a vanilla milkshake. I ordered the same, except for chocolate to replace the vanilla. Mama Mae laughed as she took our orders.
“I remember,” she started, jotting out orders down on her notepad. She tore the page off and turned, handing it through the window before she turned back. “You were in here with your ma. You wanted a milkshake for breakfast, and she said no, and you said—”
“‘When I grow up, I’m gonna have milkshakes for breakfast every day.’” I finished for her.
She laughed, a musical sound that echoed through the whole diner.
“Yep,” she said, grinning. With that, she turned away and made her way into the kitchen.
I sat in silence for a few minutes, spinning on the bar stool and looking around. Sheriff Banner was gone. He must have slipped out without me noticing. Tammy and Ray were just getting up to leave, and they both waved at me, Tammy giving me the ‘call me’ signal as she moved out the door. Tommy was still sitting by the door, his face hidden behind a newspaper, and across the room, I could see one of my high school teachers with her two kids. They were grown now.
Again, I felt so old.
I twisted in my seat when I heard the clatter of dishes being laid across the counter behind me. The food and the milkshakes were here. Mine looked beautiful, rimmed with chocolate sprinkles, and topped with whipped cream, pieces of fudge, and a cherry on top. Small-town aesthetic was a whole different beast .
“Enjoy,” Mae said, giving me a wink before rushing off to take Mrs. Rhodes’ order, the high school teacher.
“Remind me to tip her big,” I told Barrett, picking up my spoon. Milkshake first.
“30%,” Barrett said, digging into his omelet with a grunt of happiness.
“Nah, bigger. 50%.”
We ate in relative silence, only turning occasionally when the door would open. We watched Tommy and Mrs. Rhodes leave, one after the other, and a whole gaggle of high school kids filled in soon after.
Time to go. We were done anyway, and we didn’t wanna miss our movie.
By the time we stepped outside, the sun had just begun to kiss the horizon. The heat of a southern summer was beginning to fall away, replaced by the cool breeze and screaming insects of night. It was a short walk across the dusty red brick road, to the newly built theater where the antiques shop used to be.
Like most things in this town, it was small, but it could be. At the last census check, Cottonwood Falls had a population under one thousand, and I didn’t guess it’d grown anymore since then.
We had a good time. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, Barrett had been right about getting me out of the house. Laughing and joking with a friend at a movie felt like high school again, and by the time we walked out of the theater almost three hours later, I had a huge grin on my face. I had missed this so much. I had missed stepping away from work and adult life and enjoying myself again. We piled into my convertible, and this time, I let Barrett drive. It felt good to let go. It felt good to act like a kid again and pretend I had no worries.
As we pulled back onto Lake Street, I turned to Barrett.
“When I tell you to? Gun it.”
He looked at me with narrowed eyes as I clicked off my seatbelt and tossed it over my shoulder.
“What are you gonna do?”
“Just trust me.”
I kicked my shoes off onto the floorboard and hopped onto my seat, my feet firmly planted and my legs shoulder-width apart. As I rose to full height, I grabbed the top of the windshield to steady myself.
This would go one of two ways. Either I’d flip over the trunk and smash my head open, or I’d have the ride of my life.
“Nessa!” he hissed, grabbing the front of my skirt and trying to yank me down. “This is a bad idea!”
“Oh, come on, Barrett!” I said, bracing my butt against the headrest of my seat. My hands were shaking, my palms sweaty and my heart racing in my chest. I felt scared, and I liked it. “Humor me!”
“Vanessa!?”
“Now!”
Reluctantly, he did as I told him, slamming his boot down onto the accelerator. We jerked forward, the tires squealing and smoke billowing out behind us in the darkness. The headlights lit up the road, illuminating the trees on either side of the road, flashing past us at top speed. I couldn’t see the speedometer, and I didn’t need to. It was dangerous, and that’s all I needed to know .
The wind ripped through my hair, stabbing tears from my eyes. The rush of adrenaline pounded in my ears, and goosebumps stood in spiked peaks across my arms.
Still, Barrett had a death grip on my skirt, and I laughed, the sound barely audible against the roar of the engine. What did he think that was gonna do if we hit a bump and I went flying? Not much. Maybe the coroner would find me naked from the waist down.
We crested a hill, and I felt the bottom drop out of my stomach and straight into my core.
I liked it. I liked to be scared.
The gravel road leading to my dad’s house came into view, and Barrett slowed to a reasonable speed. It had only been ten to fifteen seconds max, but it was somehow exactly what I needed.
I plopped down in my seat and grinned over at Barrett.
“You,” he grunted, his teeth ground together. “Are one crazy little pistol, you know that?”
“Meh,” I shrugged, running my hands through my tangled chestnut waves. It was knotted. That was gonna suck. “Just having some fun.”
Slowly, Barrett turned into the driveway, and the joy in my heart fell to emptiness when I saw the dull glow of the porch light shining across the front porch.
I knew I didn’t leave that on.
“There is fun,” Barrett said with a sigh, flipping the car off. When he pulled the keys out and handed them to me, I could feel his fingers shaking. “And then there is fuckin’ dumb. ”
I shrugged, forcing a smile. Now, my heart was pounding for a whole different reason.
“Sometimes it’s fun to be dumb,” I said, grabbing my shoes and stepping out of the car. Barrett grumbled something as he exited, making his way to his cherry red Chevy.
“Call me if you need me,” he said, pulling his keys out of his pocket. “I’ve got a few things to do tomorrow, but when I’m done, we can get back to cleanin’. Alright?”
“Sure thing,” I said, stepping up the porch. I waited until he pulled down the long, winding driveway before I lifted my house key.
I fed it into the lock and turned it, but it didn’t click. Narrowing my eyes, I tried the handle.
It was already unlocked.
I hadn’t left it that way. I know I didn’t. I didn’t leave the door unlocked.
Swallowing hard, I let the front door swing open, revealing the yawning darkness of the house. At one time, the dark had been comforting—after all, I could be alone in the darkness.
Except now? I knew I was anything but alone.
I reached over and flipped the foyer light on with a shaking hand. Nothing. It was the same as I’d left it. Was he in the house with me? Was my stalker here?
I shivered. I wish I had my dad’s pistol.
I could go upstairs and get it, but what if whoever had gotten into the house had found it first? I moved towards the stairs, looking up into the shadows of the landing, and a shiver raced through me .
Should I chance it?
Just as I’d lifted my foot to ascend the stairs, the shrill shriek of the phone tore through the house, and the breath I’d been holding escaped in a scream of my own. My hand flew to my chest, feeling the ceaseless slamming of my heart against my sternum.
It was him. It was, wasn’t it?
It rang again, and this time the hair on my arms stood on end, and I felt every muscle stiffen.
I forced myself to move, stepping through the kitchen doorway. I made it to the phone and snatched it off the hook, lifting it to my ear.
“Listen asshole! I don’t know who you think you’re—”
“Woah, woah! A little hostile, Ness!” A familiar voice sounded on the line, and I released a shaking breath. I knew that voice. Sheriff Banner.
“Oh hey, Sheriff,” I said, pulling a hand down my face. I was shaking so hard that it was a wonder I could stand up at all.
“Everything okay?’ he asked, and I could hear the worry in his voice.
“Yeah!” I said, trying to sound cheerful. I only succeeded in squeaking like a mouse. “Yeah, I just got a really weird telemarketer call earlier. They were super pushy. I’m sorry, I’m a little on edge.”
“I noticed,” he chuckled. “Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Sure,” I said, tossing my keys onto the counter. They made a loud clang, and I jumped.
Damn it.
Damn it .
Damn it.
“So, as far as I know, the only person in this town with enough money to own a BMW convertible that new is… you.”
I knew why he was calling. I sighed.
Busted.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah,” he said, and he paused for a second. “Now, I’m not your dad, so I’m not here to bust your chops, but let’s just say we both know the little stunt you pulled on Lake Street.”
I huffed a laugh. Oops.
“We could say that.”
“Let’s keep that to a minimum, shall we?”
I sighed in relief.
“Yes, sir.”
“Alright, you take care, Vanessa. Let me know if you need anything.”
“I will, thanks, Sheriff.”
I hung up, letting out my breath in a long, low whoosh. That was close.
I was so damn jumpy. I let a simple porch light rile me all up.
Just as I turned to step away from the phone, it rang again, and my heart jumped right back into my throat. Damn it. I needed to get it together.
Snatching it up, I placed it to my ear, holding it in place with my shoulder.
“Hey, Sheriff Banner. Forget something?”
“Hello, beautiful. ”
I stopped, my lips pressed together and my breath caught behind a wall of dread in my throat. I didn’t know this voice. It was like sandpaper across my tongue, rough and biting. It was the growl of a bear in the forest, stalking you as you walked the trail.
“Sh-sheriff Banner?” I asked, and my voice sounded small and timid.
He laughed, the same low, thunderous sound I’d heard this morning.
It was him.
“No,” he chuckled again. “Guess again.”
“Who is this?” I groaned, feeling the words fall flat in the air around me.
“You know who this is. Think about it, Little Moth. You know exactly who I am.”
I thought back to all those years ago, to the shadows and the dank, dripping darkness of that basement. I could feel the cuffs around my wrists and ankles, and the aching throb in my lower back. I heard a voice above me, singing to me and telling me not to scream. That was not this voice. This voice sent a different kind of shiver through me that I had never felt before.
“Tell me your name,” I said, the words falling from my lips before I could bite them back.
He chuckled again, deeper, and I felt myself shiver somewhere deeper this time.
“Not yet,” he said. He was testing me, and it was infuriating. My fear was melting away, and leaving me with anger.
“How’d you get this number?” I said. “My dad was a cop, and therefore was friends with cops. ”
“Oh, I know. I worked with your dad.”
“So you’re a cop?!” I spat, a little more forcefully than I’d meant to.
“No, not like that. Think, come on. You’re a smart girl.”
The anger in me flared, and my hands clenched into fists.
“If I find out who you are, I will bring this whole county down on you so fast you won’t have time to turn around and kiss your ass goodbye!”
He chuckled again, deeper and longer. He was fucking with me.
This motherfucker was fucking with me!
“Testy, baby, testy. You’re a fighter, I like that.”
“What are you gonna do?!” I was screaming now, my fingers shaking as I shifted the phone from my shoulder to my hand. My breath came in short, frantic puffs. “Are you gonna kill me, huh? Is that it?! What the fuck are you—”
“I would never hurt you, Vanessa. Not until you ask me to… and you will. You’ll beg for it.”
I slammed the phone down so hard that the shock wave reverberated into my hand and up my wrist. I didn’t care. No sooner had the phone fallen still did it ring again.
I picked it up, not speaking or daring even to breathe, as I lifted it to my ear.
“Don’t fly away, Little Moth. I’ll have to catch you.”
Before I could reply or even suck in a breath, the line went dead.