Read Receipts
Beckett
Hey. You forgot your laundry in the dryer. Is it okay if I take it out and put mine in?
Joey
Go for it!
Beckett
*Thumbs-up emoji*
Beckett
I put the dishes in the dishwasher.
Joey
Hero. I forgot to load it last night. I’m SO sorry.
Beckett
Nothing to be sorry for.
Joey
I heard you crash into something last night when you came home, so I left the small lamp on tonight.
I forget how dark it gets in the forest. Sorry about that.
Beckett
You don’t need to apologize.
Joey
I think I do. Sounded like you took a tumble out there.
You’re feeling embarrassed, aren’t you?
Beckett
Yep.
Joey
I’ll stop texting now. Enjoy work. Stay hydrated!
Beckett
Why is there a squirrel waiting patiently on the ledge outside the kitchen window?
I’ve seen it there the last three days.
Joey
I plead the fifth.
Beckett
Have you been feeding it?
Joey
See my previous message.
Beckett
Joey. . .
Joey
Her name is Phoebe.
And she likes pretzel sticks.
Joey
Barbara swats my ankle every time I walk past her.
Beckett
She wants to play.
Joey
Are you sure? Because every time I yelp, she looks proud of herself.
Beckett
Better sleep with your door locked tonight, then.
Joey
WHAT?!
Beckett
I made a batch of cookies last night. Feel free to have some.
Joey
So that’s what I smelled at 1am? I thought I was dreaming.
Beckett
I had a stressful day at work and wanted something sweet.
Joey
I’m sorry your day was stressful. . .
But I’m really fucking excited for cookies.
Beckett
:)
Joey
Proof of life?
It’s been 72 hours and I’m tempted to send out a search party.
Beckett
*Thumbs-up selfie*
Joey
Has anyone ever told you that your eyes are hex color #556B2F?
Beckett
. . .I can’t say anyone has.
Joey
Did I make things weird?
I made things weird. It’s been an hour since you last replied.
Beckett
Sorry. I was removing something from a place it had no business being in to begin with.
Joey
Yikes.
Beckett
Exactly.
But thank you.
For the compliment.
Joey
*Photo of Barbara sleeping in a cardboard box*
I almost recycled your cat.
Beckett
Please don’t do that.
Joey
*Photo of Barbara’s squished face.*
This cannot be comfortable.
Beckett
Of course it isn’t. It’s an box.
Joey
Hold up. Your cat has a preferred type of cardboard box?
Beckett
She prefers a nice, cozy banana box.
Joey
That’s oddly specific.
Beckett
Barbara’s a sophisticated cat with sophisticated needs.
Joey
I’m second-guessing living with you two now.
Beckett
Lol.
Joey
Are you actually laughing or is that because you don’t know what else to say?
Beckett
Actually laughing.
Joey
Good. :)
Beckett
Everything okay?
Joey
Yes.
No.
Sorry for leaving papers scattered all over the kitchen island.
Beckett
No worries. I left them there in case there’s a method to your madness.
Joey
This client is driving me insane and I was running late this morning, so I left in a hurry.
Beckett
Anything I can do to help?
Joey
Find a cure for asshole behavior?
Beckett
On it. I’ll talk to a few of the docs here.
Joey
You sure do know how to make a girl swoon.
Beckett
I left the last cookie for you.
Joey
I was leaving it for you!
They were excellent, by the way.
Beckett
When I get home tonight, you better have eaten it.
Joey
Only if you make more.
Beckett
Of course I will.
Any flavor requests?
Joey
Surprise me. :)
Beckett
Why are there clothes scattered all over the living room?
Joey
Ugh. Everything looked wrong this morning. Felt wrong too.
And I forgot to do my laundry.
Beckett
Want me to throw your clothes in the washer?
Joey
You’d do that?
Beckett
I’d be happy to.
By the way, whatever you’re wearing, I’m sure you look beautiful.
Joey
Did you organize the pantry?
Beckett
Yes.
Joey
By food group AND in alphabetical order?
Beckett
Yes.
Speaking of the pantry, I found five kinds of gummy bears in there.
Joey
Variety is the spice of life, Beckett.
Beckett
I can see that.
Joey
Who knows, you may like it if I shake up your routine a little . . .
Beckett
What if I already do?
Joey
Are you implying that you ate some of my gummy bears? Breaking a roommate rule?
Beckett
Agatha mysteriously moved locations in the kitchen.
And Barbara doesn’t have thumbs.
Joey
Dammit.
Beckett
Don’t worry, I replaced your gummy bears with two new bags.
Joey
And I may have fed Agatha because you forgot.
She was looking EXTRA bubbly.
Beckett
:)
Beckett
You left your sweater on the couch last night. I hung it on your doorknob.
Joey
Did you smell it?
Beckett
Uh. . .no.
That would be weird.
Joey
Seems like a missed opportunity if you ask me. ;)