Chapter 6
Six
“ I t’s a good thing I’m all grown up now,” Tori replied.
Something about the tone in Tori’s voice made a thin sheen of sweat gather at the small of Mia’s back. Or maybe it was something about the way Tori was holding herself. Something about the dare lurking in her deep brown eyes. It was making Mia eager to get off the float. To douse herself with cold water.
“And who exactly is this grown up version of Tori?” Mia couldn’t stop her gaze from drifting down Tori’s body again. Couldn’t help but envy the definition in her biceps and the gentle curve of her slim waist.
Tori made a show of glancing at her smartwatch. She still wore her hair wavy, and even though Mia had always liked it long, she had to admit the choppy bob suited her. It made her look so sophisticated.
“Grown Up Tori has to get back to the office,” she replied with no sense of urgency.
“Bullshit,” Mia declared with complete confidence.
Back together in this space, the Tori she knew was brightening to life. Like throwing turpentine over an old painting to reveal the true masterpiece hiding underneath, the Tori she recognized shimmered through the facade.
Mia slid into the pool with miraculous grace, delighted at the refreshing cold. “You don’t have to go.”
“Did you break into my planner?”
The amused rumble in Tori’s throat offered the briefest glimpse of her dimples. The sound was a rush of delight. A time machine transporting Mia back to endless, carefree days. It pulled her toward where Tori stood near the shallow end.
“Nope.” Mia raised a single brow. “But maybe you haven’t changed all that much.” Upper body out of the pool, she rested her palms on the rough, stone ledge. “It’s so hot. Why don’t you get in?”
“Suede isn’t exactly optimal swimwear,” Tori shot back, but her bravado wavered.
Her change in demeanor drew Mia in like the dumbest fish on a lure. There was an energy between them—new but entirely familiar—and Mia couldn’t stop herself from chasing it. She didn’t dare pause to dissect it. For the first time in nearly a year, she felt something other than dread and grief and disappointment. She had an almost animalistic instinct to hold it in her clenched jaws and keep it from getting away.
“There are a bunch of extra bathing suits in my room,” she offered, letting a little smirk bloom on her lips.
“Mia, I can’t just get in the pool in the middle of the day,” Tori said, with something of a flustered laugh. “I do have other work to do.”
“Did you just categorize me as work?” Mia rested her hands on her hips where the water lapped against her skin, electrified when Tori’s attention followed.
Tori’s gaze snapped back to her face. “You asked me to help you sell this place. That’s what I came over to do.”
Tori was trying to use some professional version of her voice, but it didn’t work on Mia. Beneath the nice clothes and polished exterior, Mia still saw her Tori. Still saw the girl who would have totally jumped in the pool by now.
“How about this… Get in the pool. Just for a little bit. Then we can do whatever is in your little folder,” Mia offered reasonably.
Tori’s laugh returned with exhilarating gusto. “Are you kidding? How are you trying to make this sound like you’re doing me a favor while getting what you want?”
Mia grinned. “It’s a skill.”
“What am I getting in this exchange?” Tori crossed her arms over her chest.
“A break? A nice moment of relaxation?” Mia suggested with her best sales pitch.
“I’m not getting in,” Tori finally said, but Mia was sure she’d already caved.
Challenge accepted, Mia waded toward the steps. “I think you’ve forgotten how far I’m willing to go when I commit.”
Tori walked backwards, away from her like she was a knife-wielding slasher. “You’re not going to throw me in.”
“Telling me what to do now?” Mia was careful to stay far enough from Tori’s shoes not to drip water on them. “Looks like you’ve got two choices. The easy way or the hard way.”
Tori’s eyes were so bright they were blinding. “Threats, Mia? Seriously?” She laughed before putting a chaise lounge between them. “Why the hell are you obsessed with me getting into the damn pool?”
Mia’s favorite moments were spent in and around the pool with Tori. The desire to go back for just a few minutes was overwhelming. But how could she possibly put that into words without sounding desperately pathetic?
“Why are you so against it?” Mia returned the question before stepping around the lounger.
“You can’t just pose the same question back to me,” Tori nearly shrieked before leaping over the lounger and seeking refuge near the French door. Hands out in front of her instead of reaching for the handle, Tori’s tanned cheeks were so bright when she laughed.
It was childish, Mia knew, to literally chase a grown woman around her backyard. But she couldn’t remember the last time she felt so happy. So light. So connected to her own body. A body she didn’t hate just then. And Tori was playing along. She could’ve just gone inside. Could’ve put an end to the ridiculous game. But she stayed and indulged her instead.
“Are you getting in, or am I going to have to throw you over my shoulder like a caveman?” Mia crossed her arms.
“You’re really not going to drop this?” Tori was already stepping out of her shoes.
“I’m relentless,” Mia admitted, grinning with the joy of victory.
“I’ll put my feet in, but I’m not wetting my hair,” Tori said, like Mia wouldn’t happily lap up whatever she offered.
Mia beamed and took a step back. “Deal.”
“Now you think you’re going to sell me on this being a win-win situation?” Tori’s grin made her dimples cut so deep into her cheeks that Mia couldn’t force herself to look away.
“Isn’t it though?” Mia’s voice was too low. Too soft.
Pulse slamming against her throat like it was trying to storm a medieval castle, Mia had to take a few deep breaths to gather herself. It was from running around like a toddler, she told herself. Why else would she be on the verge of panting?
Mia was back in the pool with the water up to her chest when Tori returned barefoot with her pants rolled up to her muscular calves. Suddenly very aware that she hadn’t been to the gym in a decade, Mia resisted the urge to change into shapeless joggers and a hoodie.
“You’re a brat, you know that?” Tori sat, feet dangling in the pool.
Tori’s eyes were fractured honey in the direct sunlight. Shards of deep brown and slivers of burnt umber. She kept them fixed on her until Mia stopped inches away.
“You’re already so close.” Mia held out her hand. “Why not go all the way?”
“What is that they say about giving an inch?” Tori’s full lips twitched into a ghost of a smile until she made herself serious again.
The micro-movement sent a wave of something warm rippling through Mia’s chest. It was a nudge coaxing her to take just a little more.
“That inches are not nearly as fun as miles?” Mia left her hand for Tori to take.
Tori stared at Mia’s open palm like she was debating jumping off a bridge. Body tense with anticipation, Mia dropped her hand in the water when it was obvious Tori wasn’t going any further.
“This is as much as you’re getting. Take it or leave it.” Tori leaned back, resting her weight on her hands. “Don’t splash me,” she warned.
She gripped the ledge and hauled herself up, wishing it had looked smoother before swinging around to sit next to Tori. The sun seared her exposed back, and every imperfection was on display as she sat there dripping, a puddle forming beneath her.
But Tori wasn’t looking at her body—she was looking at Mia’s face. Looking into her in a way that forced Mia to be still. To stop and exist in the moment while Tori’s new persona wavered.
With her thumb, Tori found the scar on Mia’s eyebrow. The touch was so gentle, so saturated with love Mia hadn’t felt in so long. Without trying, Tori had found a frayed edge and tugged. Mia’s unraveling was effortless.
The sob that erupted without warning from the center of her chest was a hard punch to her lungs. The cry made it impossible to breathe, but she was powerless to control it. Mia’s grief was a dam erupting into dust. It was unstoppable as it poured out of her in endless waves. She didn’t cry as much as she wailed.
“I’ve got you,” Tori whispered, arms holding Mia so tight she didn’t have room to inhale. It wasn’t nearly tight enough.
Tori let her cry without asking her to give voice to feelings she was only just untangling. Without pushing her to make sense of anything. she just held Mia’s sore body until the sobs slowed, until the storm inside her burned up in the atmosphere. Unburdening herself without having to answer questions was what she needed.
Mia’s breaths came in shallow, uneven gasps, her face buried against Tori’s neck, where the unforgettable scent of her skin made Mia feel at home. It was grounding and she was starving for it. She didn’t loosen her grip, even when her arms ached from holding on so tight.
“This is so embarrassing,” Mia managed through the throbbing burn in her raw throat. She didn’t pull away from Tori’s embrace, and Tori didn’t move either. “I’m a mess?—”
“You’re human,” Tori replied.
The rough edges of her sadness smoothed while she steadied herself. Mia leaned back and let Tori dry her tears. All at once, she realized she wasn’t just home with Tori. She was safe.
“You didn’t have to pretend to cry so hard,” Tori joked to give Mia an easy out. “You could’ve just asked me to get in the pool.”
“I’ve missed you so much,” Mia confessed before the moment slipped away. Before Tori could withdraw again.
Tori’s glistening eyes—red from her own emotion—studied every inch of Mia’s face. Tori wasn’t ready to say it back, or maybe she didn’t feel the same, but Mia didn’t want her to pull away.
“Who else was I going to con to get in the water with me?” Mia joked because she didn’t want to push too far. They had so much awkward ground to cover and every second she had Tori back was a win.
Tori’s shoulders relaxed, and she gently released Mia from her hold. “You know what they say about suckers…”
Mia smiled, nose stuffy and body exhausted. “That they’ll hang out until someone pays them with pizza before they get back to their big, important commercial real estate job?”
Tori hesitated before she said, “Yeah.” She flashed her a single dimple. “Pretty sure that’s how it goes.”
The urge to curl up in her bed and cry because everything was spinning out of control eased in Tori’s presence. Mia dropped into the water, submerging herself completely to wash her face. With her wet hair slicked back, she sat on the ledge next to Tori again. This time, she was just far enough to avoid wetting Tori’s clothes while she dried quickly in the baking sun.
When she’d gathered herself, she met Tori’s worried gaze. “I promise not to burst into tears every time I’m within a foot of you,” she joked to relieve the humiliation that was replacing the pain.
“There’s no shame in crying,” Tori said in a voice so sincere Mia almost believed her.
“Oh, yeah.” She chuckled. “When’s the last time you burst into tears?” She couldn’t imagine the extremely put-together version of Tori had ever experienced a moment of embarrassment.
“Alone in the shower or in front of someone else?” She smiled, small and quick, as if to say, we all do it . “Three years ago, I fumbled a prospective client so hard, I was sure I was going to get fired.”
Dubious, Mia furrowed her brow. “You don’t have to pretend to be a hot mess on my pathetic account.”
“You’re not pathetic, and you don’t have to hide your feelings, Mia.” Tori’s expression was gentle and her words featherlight. “Losing your mom…” She looked away, and when she looked back at Mia, her eyes were heavy with unshed tears again. “It’s just… I’m here for you, okay? This is impossible, and you don’t have to pretend otherwise.”
Mia’s throat contracted so tight, it was hard to speak. But the truth slipped right out anyway. “I don’t know how to do this.” She looked around, dizzy with the enormity of her surroundings. “Any of it.”
Tori reached out and covered her hand. “One step at a time.” Her touch felt like a foundation forming over quicksand. “And you’re not alone.”
She squeezed Tori’s hand because she didn’t trust herself not to cry again if she expressed her gratitude with words.
“Come on, let’s feed you,” Tori said while she stood and led Mia out of the pool.
Relief flooded through her, quiet but steady. For the first time in forever, she didn’t feel like she was drowning. With Tori’s hand in hers, survival didn’t just feel possible. It felt real.