Chapter 14
Fourteen
F loating down the grocery store aisle, Mia was more shadow than person. She’d never been so disconnected from her body. Never felt less sure about anything—and for a person whose life was in a tailspin of aimlessness, that was quite the achievement.
All day she’d been stuck in an endless replay of her conversation with Tori that morning. Well, conversation was generous. Tori had never been overly verbose, but it was like she’d forgotten how to speak while sitting in her kitchen.
Mia had wanted to tear all the secrets from her lips and lay them out on the counter. She’d been so close to revealing that Rita had told her about the crush. To ask if such a small thing could have really ended the closest relationship Mia ever had. How could they take any real steps forward without unpacking the past?
But she didn’t want to spark conflict between Tori and her mom. And she didn’t want to embarrass Tori with the revelation. So there she was, drifting down the aisles with a hole in her chest where her own inadvertent secret was burning through it.
She imagined looking at her life like she was assessing a scan. If only she could put her problems through a machine and hunt for the anomalies. All she wanted was a clear diagnosis. Something treatable.
Flipping through the annoyingly limited information she had, Mia reframed what Rita had said. She hadn’t made the crush sound like something serious. Rita said she’d always known that she and Tori would be friends again.
At that age, Mia had indulged in constant crushes. She’d even had the hots for her dentist. Teenagers were walking hormone monsters. Crushes came and went. They were, by definition, un-serious. Fleeting. Silly. It couldn’t have been such a big deal. Certainly not something that would keep them from being close now.
And even if Rita was right, what did the past matter now? They were different people, and that didn’t have to be a bad thing.
Mia caught sight of her reflection in a freezer door. In a T-shirt and leggings and a messy bun, her days of being anyone’s crush were long over. She tried to laugh about it. Tried to find amusement in being a divorcing disaster who’d achieved none of the things she set out to do in life. She ran her hand down her belly, pressing against her greatest disappointment before moving down the aisle.
Tori couldn’t be in a more different place in her life. She was so polished and focused. She probably dated successful, put-together women who had their shit figured out. Women who didn’t jump between the twin undesirables of lost or crying. Despite that, she was sure that Tori still wanted to be friends with her.
Friends .
The term settled in her chest like a spreading warmth. That’s what they were becoming again, wasn’t it? They’d found their rhythm before the past’s complications arose. Falling back into sync like no time had passed at all.
Determination straightened her spine when she pushed her mostly empty cart around the corner. She wasn’t going to let Tori run away from her again. Not this time.
She fished her cell phone out of her bag, thumbs flying over the screen before she could stop herself.
Mia: Can we talk?
Sitting in the parking lot, trunk holding a sliver of the stuff on her list, Mia jumped when Tori’s response chimed in her hand. The small collection of words set off a string of fireworks in her belly.
Tori: Leaving the office in an hour. Drink? The Ordinary?
Throwing her car into reverse, Mia’s chest expanded with unfettered hope and optimism. They were going to get through this and she was going to have Tori back and everything was going to be fine. Better than fine.
After she rushed home and threw the groceries in the fridge, bags and all, Mia ran straight to the shower. A face mask, curling iron, and concealer doing the Lord’s work later, Mia bolted out of the house again.
In a green and yellow dress, Mia was perspiration free thanks to the sun finally dropping over the horizon. Blasting the AC to stay dry, she calmed herself while she joined the evening rush into the heart of the Gables.
The normally insufferable traffic crawled at an even more maddening pace. She drummed her fingers against the steering wheel, every red light mocking her.
When she finally got to the parking garage, she was twenty minutes late. She didn’t have time to fix the curls she’d styled into the ends of her hair or make sure her mascara hadn’t run. She wanted to look as glossy as Tori, but not as much as she wanted to see her.
Heart pounding faster with every step from the garage to the restaurant, Mia was on the verge of panting when she reached for the heavy wooden door. Inside the restaurant, the noise and chaos of the happy hour crowd melted away as soon as she spotted Tori seated at the bar.
Silky brown hair tucked behind one ear as she looked down at her phone, Tori was a little flicker of light in the darkness.
Mia stopped and the guy walking behind her stumbled into her. She tried to apologize, but a wave of unexpected nerves crashed over her. It made her palms damp and her throat tight and her mouth useless.
And then Tori looked up. She made eye contact with Mia immediately, like she’d sensed her approach in the loud, packed place.
The small, crooked smile that lifted one corner of Tori’s mouth flooded Mia’s unprepared body with intense relief. Everything inside her settled, quieted.
She apologized to the man without looking at him. Barreling forward, Mia didn’t stop until she was standing in front of her.
“Hi—”
“I’m sorry,” Mia blurted before she could think it through. She didn’t care about why they’d fought. Didn’t care if she wanted to keep her old secrets. All she wanted was Tori back, whatever the cost.
Tori hesitated for an infinitesimal moment. A pounding heartbeat. A held breath. And then her shoulders dropped and the grin Mia had startled away was back.
“I’m sorry too,” Tori replied, color rushing up her throat and over her slim cheeks. “I don’t really know how we got?—”
“Who cares,” Mia interrupted, chest buzzing.
She lunged forward and pulled Tori into the tightest hug she’d ever given. She was clinging to driftwood in an angry sea. A sea that calmed as soon as she inhaled Tori’s scent and dove into the steady current of her embrace.
“You know… That was our first fight,” Mia said while she clutched Tori, wishing she never had to lose the safety of her arms around her.
“What?” Tori’s body shook when she laughed.
Without whining, even though she wanted to, Mia released her from her grip when Tori pulled away. “In honor of our first, we should order bubbly to celebrate.”
Tori leaned back, her expression dubious. “No, it can’t be.”
Mia slid onto the stool next to her and signaled for the bartender. “Okay, fine. Name another time we’ve so much as had a disagreement.”
Confidence was the steel in Mia’s spine and the smile on her lips. She ordered a bottle of overpriced champagne and tried to tamp down the giddy exuberance making her fingers tremble.
“Have you forgotten the great Team Edward/Team Jacob war of 2008?” Tori tried and failed to look serious.
Mia laughed. “In retrospect, I’m going to guess you didn’t really care all that much about Edward.”
Bottom lip sliding between her teeth, Tori was somewhere between bashful and unapologetic.
“Team Bella?” Mia guessed.
Tori laughed and then squinted so adorably, Mia had to stop herself from squeezing her face.
“Oh, come on. Are you not going to tell me?” Mia’s entire body was alive with the thrill of this game. Of being back in Tori’s light.
“Team Rosalie,” Tori admitted after the ice bucket holding their bottle arrived.
“Rosalie?” Mia couldn’t hide her surprise. “Wasn’t she kind of an asshole?”
Tori took the bottle before the bartender could and poured two flutes. “Rosalie never wasted time pretending. She knew what she wanted, and she didn’t care if people didn’t like it.”
Clinking their glasses together, Mia held Tori in her gaze when she pressed the glass to her lips. A single sip couldn’t make her drunk, but she was floating a foot above her body. Her mind altered when she couldn’t look away from Tori. Her heart was pounding an escape route out of her mouth when she asked, “And what did you want, Tori?”
Tori’s eyes widened. Her lips parted like she might answer. Mia couldn’t breathe while the moment trapped between past and present stretched between them.
“Are we hungry, ladies?” The bartender’s voice was a cold rush over Mia’s sweltering skin.
She didn’t look away from Tori when she smirked. Mia spoke in a borrowed voice when she replied, “Starving.”