Chapter 38
Thirty-Eight
A ll week Mia had been un-Mia-like. She’d been preoccupied and quiet. Today, she hadn’t mentioned anything about Tori coming over, so she’d gotten the hint and headed to her loft after work instead of going to Mia’s. As she rolled through maddeningly slow traffic, Tori talked to herself like she’d talk to Larissa.
In the two weeks since Mia had moved home, they’d seen each other every single day. Usually more than once a day since Mia brought Tori homemade lunches. Tori had slept over nearly every night. They’d made things official. That was a lot in a short time even without considering all the other changes Mia was adjusting to.
By the time Tori was punching in the code to her front door, she’d nearly convinced herself that space wasn’t just good, it was important. Giving Mia a little room only meant she’d be able to miss her. How could she miss her if they were never apart?
Her bullshit pep talk disappeared the moment she stepped into her condo and her heart tried to catapult out of her chest. Scattered around her otherwise dark living room were hundreds of little battery operated candles. The mouth-watering aroma of some kind of roasted meat came next, but it took Tori a moment to realize there was no sign of food. No sign of Mia either.
Confused but curious, Tori closed the door behind her and kicked off her shoes. She pulled off her blazer and hung it over one of the kitchen stools. Despite the obvious smell of cooking, the kitchen was totally spotless.
Tori followed the mystery to the stairs leading up to her bedroom. As soon as she hit the first step, she heard music playing softly. Training her ear on the sound, Tori laughed. Not just any music. An R&B slow jam about loving a lady so well that she hit high notes.
What the hell is she doing?
“Mia?” Tori called.
No answer.
Forcing herself to walk rather than run, Tori climbed. Her heart was racing despite the slow pace. Whatever this was, it wasn’t goodbye.
In her bedroom, more little lights scattered on every surface reminded Tori of their ninth-grade field trip to the planetarium. As soon as her eyes adjusted to the low light, Tori noticed a black dress strewn at the corner of the bed.
Had she come home too late? Too soon? She was debating whether she should go back downstairs when Mia came out of the bathroom in nothing but a black lace bra and matching underwear.
Tori’s breath caught. It wasn’t just the lingerie, or the candlelight, or the way Mia stood like she knew she was the center of gravity. She was something too close to divine. Every curve of her body was a dare. Every inch, an offering. Every line capable of inspiring ancient poetry or war in turns. If Tori could move, she’d kneel.
“What are you doing?” Tori asked before a more pressing question occurred to her. “How did you get in?”
Red hair draped over her shoulders, Mia moved toward her like water. Like waves crashing.
“I don’t know that your phone and door should have the same passcode,” she teased, voice low as she neared. “I had this really romantic idea of cooking you dinner.” She wrapped her arms around Tori’s neck and Tori instinctively rested her hands on Mia’s panic-inducing hips. “But then I realized…” Her lips hovered over Tori’s mouth. “That’s not what I wanted to eat.” When Tori moved in for a kiss, Mia leaned back. “But if you need your energy, I brought you a protein bar.”
“I’m sure I can manage,” Tori responded before capturing Mia’s bottom lip between her teeth.
Tori tried so hard to take her time. To savor Mia’s lips. The ones she’d tasted every day for weeks, and hadn’t even begun getting enough of. But then Mia moaned into her, fingers in Tori’s hair and pulling her so hard against her mouth that they were nothing but teeth and tongue and heat.
Deep, all-consuming need rushed through Tori. She walked Mia backward toward the bed. Kissing her harder with every step, Tori’s hands were inadequate for worshiping Mia’s body as she gripped her curves. She was about to drop Mia onto the bed and taste every inch of skin when Mia stopped her.
“Not tonight, baby,” Mia whispered, dark and dangerous against Tori’s ear. She bit down on Tori’s earlobe just as her fingers found Tori’s belt. “Didn’t I tell you I was fucking starving?” she growled, touch more possessive when she yanked Tori’s belt open.
Cursing, Tori felt her knees weaken. Mia’s mouth melted against hers again and all Tori wanted was to let go, but she couldn’t. With all the regret anyone had ever felt, she said, “I have to take a quick shower.”
“Now?” Mia unbuttoned Tori’s pants. “Like seriously right this second?” she whispered against Tori’s parted lips.
Desire roared its agreement with Mia, but Tori kept just enough of her senses to insist. “I’ll be so fast. You’ll barely have a second to miss me.”
Seeming to register that she’d been at work all day, Mia relented. “Fine.” She finished unzipping Tori’s pants and let them fall to the ground with the delight of a cat knocking something over to watch it break. And then she yanked Tori’s shirt over her head. “Let’s go.”
Moments later, she and Mia were walking into Tori’s spa shower naked and Tori was wondering whether she was dreaming. Whether she was going to wake up in her bed, sweat making the sheets cling to her body.
And then Mia’s teeth were on her neck, and she was pressing Tori against the stone tile. Tile that hadn’t yet warmed from the steam. The cold on her back was a shock, resetting Tori’s brain and reminding her that this was real. Mia was real and hers and clawing at her with the same desperation Tori hadn’t been able to suffocate.
Pinning Tori to the wall with a hand on her chest, Mia told her to stay put. She reached for the body wash on the shelf cut into the wall. Tori watched with growing anticipation as Mia worked the gel to a lather.
She started at Tori’s throat. She worked her way over her shoulders and down her chest. Closing her eyes, Tori indulged in the sensation of Mia’s hands gliding over her breasts. The contrast between Mia’s touch and the hot water made her want to hurry. To get out and have Mia in the comfort of her bed.
And then she eased lower. Over her ribs and down her tense belly and crossing her navel. Tori held her breath, waiting with every nerve-ending for Mia to slip between her thighs. To finally feel the relief of her touch.
Mia kissed her lips, her cheek, the shell of her ear before she whispered, “Turn around.”
Opening her eyes, Tori chuckled her surprise. “What?”
Mia was all curved lips and devilish intent. “Can’t have a dirty back, can you?”
Hesitantly, Tori turned. Palms pressed to the warming tile, she waited for whatever Mia had in mind. Three racing heartbeats later, it wasn’t soap on her back. It was Mia’s body pressed to hers.
“Fuck,” Tori groaned, loving the fullness of Mia’s chest against her back.
Mia’s mouth was on her shoulder, biting and kissing and hopefully leaving a mark. Rocking backward into her, Tori was verging on desperate.
“You’re really fucking hot, you know that?” Mia whispered before grazing her teeth over the back of Tori’s neck.
Tori opened her mouth to respond, but whatever she was going to say was lost in the moan that followed Mia’s soapy hand sliding between her thighs. Lost in the sensation of Mia’s fingers gliding confidently over her aching clit. Lost in the hunger building too fast to contain.
Cursing again, Tori turned her head, the side of her face pressed to the stone. Mia moved slowly, deliberately. Each circle she drew with her fingertips, each long exploratory touch, pushed Tori closer to anguished.
“This is how I’ve been practicing,” Mia’s words dripped down Tori’s neck and pulled at the throbbing she was only making worse. “When I’ve touched myself like this… All I’ve thought about was how you would feel.”
Legs shaking, Tori rocked her hips faster against Mia’s fingers. She’d never had an orgasm while standing up or in the shower, but she was desperately trying to make this a first. Desperately trying to find relief.
Over and over Tori got so close, but she needed to be anywhere but standing. “Let’s get the hell out of the shower,” she begged, reaching behind her to tangle her fingers in Mia’s damp hair and pull her into a kiss.
Somewhat dry, Tori laid in bed, but Mia didn’t immediately follow. She kneeled at Tori’s side instead. Naked and wet and hair cascading down one side of her chest.
“Will you tell me what you like?” Mia asked, voice so soft and devoid of the nerve she’d had in the shower.
Tori recognized the signs of Mia getting in her head. Of her overthinking the moment. She reached out for Mia and pulled her on top of her.
“I’ve been researching,” Mia said against her lips, like she was trying to regain her confidence.
“Oh, yeah?” Tori kissed Mia’s neck, her collarbone, her shoulder. “Where?”
Mia sighed, thigh slipping between Tori’s easily parting thighs. “I found some highly specialized video-based educational content.”
Tori was barely listening—palms running down Mia’s back and the perfect, generous swell of her ass. The realization took a while to get through the thick, lusty haze.
“Do you mean porn?” Tori asked with a smile. “How long were their nails and how much over-the-top screaming was there?” She rolled Mia onto her back. “I need to know what I’m in for.”
“It’s not porn ,” Mia whisper-shouted. “It’s very ethical! I paid for it, and they’re a married lesbian couple who love each other very much.”
Tori was still adjusting to the low light, but she would bet her life that Mia had turned bright red. Tori couldn’t resist kissing her blistering hot cheeks before dropping to her mouth.
“I wasn’t judging you,” Tori promised. “It’s hot.” She kissed a line down her throat. “Did you get turned on?”
“Yeah.” Mia tilted her hips to meet Tori’s hand slipping between her thighs.
When Tori found Mia’s dripping arousal, she cursed. Forehead resting on Mia’s shoulder, she slipped a finger inside. Mia dug her hips into the mattress, hands flying to Tori’s back and driving into her in a way that had become addictive.
“What did you like?” Tori slid in another finger, pace slow and shallow. There would never be anything better than the sensation of Mia tightening around her fingers. Of her gasping against Tori’s ear just before she held her breath.
The question prompted Mia to grab Tori’s wrist and pull her away. Before Tori could ask if she’d done something wrong, Mia was flipping her onto her back.
Wishing there were a million more lights in the room, Tori strained to see Mia straddle her hips. To see her take Tori’s fingers into her searing hot mouth, tongue swirling around them in a way that set Tori on fire.
“Fuck,” Tori panted, feeling Mia’s tongue on every inch of her body.
When Mia pulled Tori’s fingers out of her mouth, her breath was ragged and her core was pounding. “This is about what you like.” She dropped Tori’s hand and leaned forward, mouth blazing a trail over her neck. “About what you want me to do to you.” She continued down Tori’s chest, her abdomen, her left hip. “I want to give you every single thing you’ve ever wanted.” She parted Tori’s thighs before settling herself between them. “What do you like, baby?”
Just the sound of Mia’s voice, low and hot against her inner thigh, was almost enough to send Tori over the edge. She was going to have to do shockingly little to make Tori come. “There’s nothing you could possibly do that I wouldn’t like,” she promised.
Mia pressed her lips to Tori’s quivering inner thigh. “No direction?” She ran the tip of her tongue along Tori’s sensitive skin.
“Don’t use your teeth no matter what you saw in your research ,” Tori managed despite her dry mouth.
Staring down at the incredible sight of Mia between her thighs, inches from where she needed her so badly it hurt, Tori could have died from the anticipation. She would happily give up her life in exchange for the satisfaction of hearing Mia moan into her. To feel it vibrate through her core.
When Mia tossed her hair to one side, wrestling with it in her way, Tori taught her a basic lesson. Reaching over to her nightstand, she found a hair-tie in her drawer and passed it down to her.
“You’ll thank me,” Tori promised when Mia looked up at her in confusion.
Getting to her knees, Mia’s form in the low light was mouthwatering. No sight had ever been sexier than Mia tossing her hair into a messy bun before settling between Tori’s legs again.
And then Mia’s mouth was on her, and Tori’s eyes slammed closed, back arching off the bed. With a shattering moan, Mia dove into her, hands gripping Tori’s thighs. She’d expected Mia to move slowly as she explored something new, but she used every part of her mouth like she’d been starving for this moment.
Body shuddering, Tori reached down and cradled Mia’s neck. “Slower,” she moaned. “I want to feel everything you’re doing.”
Mia whined, but obediently pulled back. She shifted to something deadlier than unrestrained enthusiasm. Every pass of her tongue was deliberate, devastating. She tasted her like she wanted to memorize her. To savor her.
Fuck .
Tori couldn’t stop trembling. In minutes, Mia already had her faltering over an unbearable edge.
Breathing in shallow bursts, Tori grabbed fistfuls of sheets to ground herself. There wasn’t enough oxygen in her lungs. Not enough gravity to hold her down. Fingers curling in Mia’s hair, she gave in to Mia’s mouth. To the heat coiling tighter and tighter at her core.
Tori heard herself make sounds she’d never uttered before. Desperate, broken noises spilling from a mouth she couldn’t close.
In response, Mia moaned into her like she loved unraveling her. Like she’d never get enough. Her moans echoed and hummed and boomed through Tori’s body like thunder before a hurricane. Loud and rough and warning that nothing would escape the force’s grasp.
Tori was close. So close it was excruciating. But Mia didn’t rush. Didn’t lose her place even as Tori squirmed and rocked and writhed.
The pressure building at her core was an aching need that took up every inch of space in her body until there was no room for thought, no room for breath, no room for anything but Mia’s agonizing mouth and her fingers digging hard into Tori’s thighs.
Tori’s back arched as the tension snapped. Her release hit like a wave—sudden and massive, crashing through her so hard, her throat was raw when she cursed. She came with her hands in Mia’s hair and her body half off the bed.
Mia didn’t stop. She held her down, mouth and hands steady, like she’d known exactly how it would be. Like she’d planned on holding her breath that long.
Collapsing onto the mattress, Tori’s chest burned while she panted. Heart racing while her body still twitched and spasmed against Mia’s soft lips. Every nerve still buzzed while Mia crawled up her body. While she kissed her way slowly up Tori’s stomach, her chest, her throat.
When Mia reached her mouth, Tori pulled her in with both hands and kissed her. Useless legs wrapped around Mia, Tori kissed herself off her lips and chin and tongue.
“Holy shit,” Tori whispered.
Mia grinned, glistening lips smug with satisfaction. “That was hot.”
“I want to watch whatever you were watching,” Tori joked, voice raw, breath wayward.
Curling into her side, Mia held her close. Arms and legs wrapped around each other, Tori might have drifted off to sleep with her pulse still pounding if Mia hadn’t spoken again.
“That was incredible,” Mia said, voice as soft as the fingers trailing Tori’s arm. “I’m so fucking gay.”
Chuckling, Tori turned to her side so they faced each other. Heads on the same pillow and legs intertwined like they needed to stay tethered to the ground. To each other.
“Oh, yeah? It’s decided then?” Tori combed Mia’s wild hair back with her fingers.
“Mm-hmm.” Mia closed her eyes. “I’d like to do that forever, please and thank you.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” Tori laughed and wrapped her arm around Mia, inhaling the lingering scent of her own body wash on Mia’s skin.
Drifting as she drew absentminded shapes along Mia’s spine, Tori’s chest was too small for her heart. She wondered whether this was some elaborate dream. Whether she’d wake up alone in her bed, lavender and sandalwood faintly lingering on her sheets to taunt her.
“You’re not going to sleep yet, are you?” Mia’s lips were on the corner of Tori’s mouth.
Tori smirked, forcing her eyes open. “Did you have something else in mind?”
Mia nipped at Tori’s bottom lip, waking the hunger that had barely been sated. “I did bring something with me.”
“Oh?” Tori tipped her head back to look at Mia. “What’s that?”
“A little—well—big something I’ve been dying for you to try on,” she teased.
“Did you sanitize it?” she asked, knowing full well Mia had been thinking about the strap. That she’d probably been waiting for the right time to bring it up and lost patience.
“Did I what now?” Mia’s lips were on Tori’s neck again, her hand roaming over her side.
“You can’t just use it out of the box like that,” she explained, finding her second wind.
“That makes sense.” Mia kissed her. “You wanna do that while I heat up the beef Wellington? I feel like you’re gonna need the protein.” She wiggled her brows in adorable exaggeration.
“You made beef Wellington?” Tori’s depleted body shook with the force of her surprised laugh. “How long have you been in my house?”
Mia propped herself up on one elbow, perfect hazel eyes burning with mischief. “Don’t look a gift pastry-covered-meat-log in the mouth, Victoria,” she said before kissing Tori’s grinning lips and leaping out of bed.
Tori stayed where she was, tangled in the sheets, skin still buzzing. Her chest ached differently than her body. It was too full. Too ready to erupt like a shaken champagne bottle.
She was still laughing to herself, she realized, before biting her lip to stop. It was futile. There was no stifling the force of it. No pretending that she didn’t know how bad she had it.
If reincarnation was real, she’d met Mia in every lifetime. Loved her with the certainty of spring following winter. And if she’d waited lifetimes for her, not just years, the wait would have been worth it. After spending so long holding her breath, being with Mia was the ultimate exhale.
“Tori! How the hell do you set this fancy ass oven to reheat?” Mia shouted from downstairs.
Laughing because what the hell was the point of not, Tori rolled out of bed. She grabbed a T-shirt from a drawer for herself. And, knowing what Mia would want, Tori grabbed her discarded button-down off the floor.