20. Summer
CHAPTER 20
Summer
T he next morning, I wake a little confused when I notice Ryan’s solid arm thrown over my middle, and a leg wedged possessively between my own. Then I remember after a movie marathon in bed last night, I vowed to close my eyes for just a little bit. I guess we both fell asleep instead.
I lay there for a minute, just enjoying the feeling of sharing a bed with someone who wants to be next to me. Last night, after deciding to move our watch party to the bedroom, we both wanted to change out of our jeans. He had stripped down to his briefs and undershirt. I averted my gaze because I felt I had to show some restraint for us both after my whole “not tonight” speech. I threw on my own pajamas, a sexy but practical shorts and camisole set I had bought myself when Jared moved out, and it was his turn to look away. Especially when I slipped my bra off from under the camisole. I couldn’t help but notice his bobbing Adam's apple.
“Morning. Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep here.” Ryan’s gruff, barely-awake voice greets me as he squeezes me impossibly closer.
I shrug a little in his arms, “It’s okay. I fell asleep too. ”
I feel the press of his hardness against me and despite my best intentions, I push back against it. He groans, squeezing me harder. “Summer.” There’s a warning in his voice.
“What? It’s not tonight anymore,” I say. A girl only has so much self-control after all. I hear his quick intake of breath as he reaches around and gently cups my breast, calloused thumb brushing over me through the silky pajama top. My own breath hitches and I press back against him again. His leg wedged between mine pushes up and exerts the sweetest pressure where I need it most. But it's not enough. I whimper and grab his hand, bringing it up under my top.
“Fuck, Summer,” he growls, before flipping me on my back and raising himself over me. My legs instantly fall open and he slots his hips into the welcome inlet of my thighs. He crashes his lips onto mine, the kiss rivaling our first last night. I snag his full bottom lip between my teeth and tug until he hisses in a breath.
He leans to the left, his other hand roaming under my shirt, lifting as he goes. I claw at his back, bunching his shirt in my hand, trying unsuccessfully to pull it off him. He laughs against my skin, lifting onto his knees so he can yank it off himself. He tosses it to the side and wow… Does he look edible. His stomach has the causal definition of a man who does manual labor most days, but isn’t a gym rat. I can’t help but bite my lip as I stare up at him.
“Top. Off,” he demands from between my legs, still on his knees. I pull it overhead, too turned on to be self-conscious about baring my soft belly with its faded stretch marks and boobs that are anything but picture-perfect to him for the first time. He exhales a strangled breath and presses a hand over my wildly thumping heart. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” He says it so reverently, I believe him.
“Come here,” I say, pulling him down to me, kissing him softly, sensually. Our tongues glide, and his teeth graze my lips. He settles himself between my thighs again, the only thing separating us a few thin layers of fabric.
“You make me feel like a teenager. I don’t think I’ve enjoyed just kissing this much since high school.” Ryan presses against me firmly, driving home his point. I’m too lost in the sensation of our bare skin sliding together for words, so I let out a sound of agreement as I wrap my legs around his hips to bring him tighter against me.
He starts a slow, decadent descent down my body, kissing and licking as he goes. He looks up from under his dark lashes before he starts tugging at my shorts. I allow him to pull them down and kick them off to the side. Just when I think he’s going to rejoin me, his face returns to the line of my panties. “Okay?” he asks.
I nod, unabashedly wanting him to continue, insecurities be damned. As his mouth dips lower, I say, “Um. No one’s ever… So, I don’t know what I like.” I feel a blush color me from the chest up.
He winks and says, “Let’s find out together.” Then, the man licks. His. Lips. I think I might faint from being so turned on. Before I can second guess myself, he tugs my underwear aside, lowers his head and presses his tongue to me, wide and flat so I feel him everywhere. He is somehow both patient and ravenous. Responsive to my every sound and movement. Within minutes I’m trembling under him, an exquisite pressure building inside me.
Heat floods my core and my lower abdomen tightens, pleasure sparking along my spine. “Come for me, Summer,” he demands against my skin. I climb a little higher, and then with one final well placed press of his tongue, I do as he says, breaking into a million, glittering pieces. He gently kisses my inner thighs, replaces my underwear, and then climbs up the bed, laying his head next to mine. Smug male pride is written all over his face.
I go to my side and reach for him. Just as I pinch his waistband between my thumb and forefinger, intent on revealing more of him to me, he places a large hand over mine, stalling it. “Today was for you. I have a feeling you haven’t had many days like that,” he says quietly. Because I can’t resist, I reach my hand lower and squeeze a little before letting go, enjoying the groan that leaves his wet, parted lips.
“I haven’t,” I agree, curling into his side. “I feel guilty leaving you hanging, though.” I trace a finger through the soft smattering of dark hair on his chest.
“Don’t. Just because today was for you doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy myself.” He kisses the top of my head.
After attempting to convince him to get in the shower with me, I begrudgingly shower alone. He clearly didn’t buy into my “save the environment” excuse and is determined to keep his word that today is for me. I emerge from the bathroom feeling more blissed out than I have in a long time.
I pad into the kitchen in a pair of lounge pants and a bralette. Ryan is the picture of domesticity, puttering around my kitchen, making us breakfast and coffee. He gestures for me to sit at the table where sunshine limns everything in gold, giving my many plants a healthy dose of light.
He comes over to me, plates and mugs in hand and I realize he gave me my favorite mug with the little suns. I have to wonder if it was just random chance or if he’s really paid that much attention. He sets mine down, kissing me on the temple before sitting across from me. The sun gilds the outline of his frame, and he looks so dreamy I almost pinch myself. I look down and see he’s made us breakfast sandwiches with bagels, eggs, and some bacon I had in the fridge.
“Thank you,” I say shyly, taking a sip of the coffee that he’s somehow made perfectly without direction. “I’m not used to being taken care of.” I take a large bite to stop myself from saying anything else. It means more than I can express that he’s taking care of me without prompting or nagging. He’s just doing it because he cares and he can .
He takes my hand and rubs the back of it with his thumb, “You’re welcome. I don’t mind at all. I actually like cooking, and breakfast is my favorite meal. It’s the only one you can have both savory and sweet as the main course, and no one bats an eye.”
“My kind of guy,” I say, smiling at him. It still doesn’t feel real that this man wants me.
We just finish breakfast when I see Jared’s truck pull up outside. “Oh, shit!” I exclaim, “Shit. You have to go.” I stand so quickly, that I knock my hip hard into the edge of the table, making me wince.
“What? Are you okay?” Ryan asks, standing too and rubbing my throbbing hip.
“No! I’m sorry. That’s Jared’s truck and he’s bringing Emma,” I pause to check the time on the microwave, “Two hours early.” I start dragging him to the bedroom, halfheartedly thinking I can hide him and sneak him out once Jared leaves. His truck, dammit. I remember Ryan’s truck is in my driveway.
“You’re an adult, Summer. You don’t need to hide the guy you’re dating.” Ryan rolls his eyes, but comes along so he can throw his jeans on. I try not to get too distracted by the little flutter in my belly at the word “dating.” I’m still adjusting to it and it makes me want to do a little happy dance even though I’m supremely stressed right now.
“Look, I haven’t told Jared anything about you beyond implying that we’re friends.”
“You don’t need his permission,” Ryan says, getting all gruff and protective.
“No, I don’t. But, we did have an agreement that if we were serious about anyone, and wanted to introduce Emma to them, we would have them vetted by the other first. I need to do this right. I was planning on telling him today, but ideally without you almost naked in my house!”
He buttons and zips his jeans. “Okay, I understand. I don’t want to mess anything up for you or Emma. I’ll just say I’m here for the leak.” He gives me a quick kiss and heads for the bedroom door just as the doorbell rings.
After throwing on a clean shirt, I rush to the door as Ryan carries the ladder we used yesterday to paint the ceiling into the hall under the attic access. I open the door and Emma bursts in saying, “Ew! It smells in here,” on her way to her room, sparkly bag in tow.
“You painted,” Jared says, stepping into the entryway. He cranes his neck up at the newly white ceiling and whistles. “Man, you’ve been busy. Whose truck is that?”
“Mine,” Ryan says, carrying his ladder into the room. An awkward beat passes while they size each other up like apes in the wild.
I’m about to whip out a ruler when Jared says, “Oh. Cool. You here for the leak?” When Ryan nods, a quick dip of the chin, Jared continues, “Yeah, I was going to fix that a while ago but just never got to it.” He turns to me, dismissing Ryan with his back to him. Ryan’s eyes go glacial and they narrow on the back of Jared’s head.
“Anyway, Summer. I brought you these.” Jared thrusts out a bouquet of red roses, the petals browning around the edges. “I know they aren’t the best quality, but it was all the store had this morning,” he says, rubbing his free hand against the back of his neck.
I look back and forth between Ryan and Jared, not sure if I should take the flowers or not. I finally grab them and say, “Thanks.” I set them on the coffee table and head to Ryan. “Let me walk you out.”
He nods again, glaring over at Jared who has sprawled himself comfortably on the couch. I follow Ryan outside and shut the door behind us. “I am so sorry. I’m going to talk to him right now, I swear,” I say, wringing my hands. I hope I haven’t already messed this up. I know Ryan’s past, and the last thing I want to do is poke at that insecurity .
“It’s okay. It isn’t your fault. I’m just trying to keep the caveman screaming ‘mine’ in my head at bay. I trust you, Summer. I do. Call me after, okay?” He kisses me softly before heading to his truck, ladder in tow. I know how much that trust means to him. He doesn’t give it away easily after Lydia.
I take a breath before going back inside. From the direction of my kitchen, Jared says, “What the fuck, Summer?” I cringe when I realize he’s seen the other bouquet that Ryan brought me yesterday, thriving and placed proudly in the middle of the table. He knows I never buy myself flowers, so he correctly guessed who they came from.
We had a huge fight about it one day. He had asked me why I didn’t buy my own flowers after I complained about him never getting them from me. When I explained that it’s the gesture behind the flowers that’s more meaningful, he sighed loudly and said that they were just dumb plants, on their way to dying.
“Yeah. I was going to talk to you about that,” I say, waving a hand at the flowers.
Jared petulantly throws his bouquet on the floor, petals scattering the wood planks in a mockery of romance. “Well. I was going to be nice and put these in water when I saw those. So, just fixing your leak, huh?” He crosses his arms, his brows drawn down over his angry, dark eyes.
“I’m not going to talk to you about it if you’re going to act like a child,” I say, trying to rein in my annoyance.
“I’ll act however I want when my woman is spreading her legs for another man!” he roars. To my horror, his voice echoes through the house.
I whisper between gritted teeth, “Shut up, Jared. Emma’s just down the hall and she doesn’t need to hear you spewing your bullshit. Outside. Now.” I head back for the front door, not waiting for him to follow. “I’m walking your dad out real quick, Em. Be right back!” I call, as cheerily as I can manage through the rage.
I hear her “kay” just as Jared slams the door behind us. He opens his mouth and I jump right in, “No. You don’t get to speak yet. It’s my turn. First of all, don’t you dare speak to me like that in front of our daughter. I don’t care what you call me when she’s not around, but if she’s here, you keep it civil. We agreed on that. Second, I am not ‘your woman,’ and I can be with whomever I want.”
He sighs, guilt flashing in his eyes, “I’m sorry. You’re right about Emma. I lost my temper.” His jaw ticks and his eyes harden again, “But you are mine, Summer. We just talked about this on Wednesday. I won’t share you.” He steps closer to me, getting in my personal space.
I am so stunned by the audacity that it takes me a second to react. I laugh humorlessly and say, “If only you cared this much when we were actually together.” I scrub a hand down my face in annoyance. “We never agreed on anything. You made your feelings clear on Wednesday, but like usual, you neglected mine. I don’t want to be with you. Period.” I’m trying not to be nasty, but I want to make myself clear.
“Oh, but you want to be with Ryan?” He spits his name like a curse.
“I do, actually. I was going to talk to you about it today. We’re seeing where things go, and I want him to meet Emma eventually.” I hug my elbows and watch a kaleidoscope of emotions play over his face.
“You don’t even know this man. It’s been what, a month since I moved out? Were you cheating on me?” He steps even closer, his breath mingling with mine and making me look up at him.
I take a step back, holding out my palm so he doesn’t follow me back inside. “No! I would never do that. You know me better than that, despite whatever your anger is telling you. I’m sorry if it hurts your feelings that I’ve moved on, but I can’t change how I feel.”
He barks out a cruel laugh, and I just know he’s about to go for the jugular. “Damn, Summer. You’re pathetic. You lay on your back for the first man to show you any attention after me. You think he’s going to want to stay with you? I don’t need to vet him. He’s going to be gone soon now that you’ve already given him what he wanted. I won’t take you back. I don’t want sloppy”—he looks me up and down and sneers—“and I mean sloppy seconds.” With that, he turns away. I don’t even realize I’m crying until a tear drips off my chin. I take a few minutes to collect myself before I head back inside, his words weaving black threads through the bright tapestry of the last two days.