Chapter 29
Shall we go for a walk together?
victoria
It’s been half an hour since I said goodbye to the others.
It’s not that I didn’t feel like going along with the plan, but when I woke up, I felt like doing something else much more interesting, and when I get something into my head, there’s no convincing me otherwise.
Jorge told me that Elena would be staying at the hotel to work, and despite the warnings I received from Ana before they left, I’ve decided to ignore them and follow my heart.
After what happened the other night, my mind is consumed by Elena, overwhelming my senses.
I had a really hard time sleeping; I tossed and turned in bed and finally fell asleep just as the sun was beginning to peek over the horizon.
At that moment, I had to hold back my urge to go find her because I knew we both needed some space to process what’s happening to us, but I couldn’t stop thinking about those kisses we shared and the intensity with which we touched each other.
It’s crazy to think that a few caresses and some cuddles could undo what’s happened over the past five years, but that’s how it is.
The more I think about Madrid, my job, and what Alfredo hinted at before I left, the less I want to go back and return to my old life.
Being in Ibiza has helped me regain my strength, that lost energy, the desire for everything, the happiness that used to get me out of bed every day, and all that made me feel at peace, since I had found myself submerged in the bubble of a never-ending routine that turned me into a robot who lived to work more and more.
Now, what I want most is to love and not deprive myself of anything.
Yesterday afternoon I sent Joana a new message, which she received; I have the blue double check in the chat, but she hasn’t replied.
I don’t know what she’s thinking, or why she won’t answer my calls, but I’d love to have the chance to talk, to explain myself, to get back the friendship we had before things got complicated.
I shouldn’t have let myself be swept away by loneliness and need, but these mistakes help me wake up, and my eyes are wide open right now when it comes to Elena.
This second chance we’re experiencing could turn into a dream come true.
After five years apart and so much pain, rejection, and sadness, feeling this way is something I never imagined I’d get to enjoy again.
I know that our relationship—if it happens—won’t be easy, that insecurity and fear will make things move slower than I’d like, but we have to try.
We deserve to be together, to start from scratch, and, as if it were our first time, to write that story we’ve fantasized about for so long.
Today the island glows with the intensity of a sun that burns my skin, and even though my original plan was to buy some slushies and visit her, I’ve had to settle for showing up empty-handed and asking her out.
I don’t know if she’ll accept, though I hope she does so I can relive with her one of the things we loved doing most in the past: walking and talking.
If she refuses, I’ll convince her—I know how to do it; and if I have to pin her against the wall and kiss her again, I will.
As soon as I’m in front of her, I knock on her office door with my knuckles.
“Marta, I told you that if you had any doubts, you should talk to Alberto. What’s going on now?
” I hear her grumble, and I need a few seconds to stop myself from laughing.
I’d never imagined Elena as a boss, and just as I’m about to open the door, she does it—taking me by surprise.
“Vi-Vicky?” she asks, confused, making me smile.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you… ?”
“Yeah, be with the others, but I preferred to stay,” I reply, leaning against the wooden doorframe with one hand. “Are you really busy? I was thinking of asking you out, taking a walk on the beach…” I add before she can answer. “But if you can’t, I’ll go by myself and get a slushie.”
“At our favorite horchata shop?” I knew that would be enough to convince her, I think, nodding. “I was just about to finish, so I can take a break and come back to this later.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to bother you. Jorge told me you were organizing activities for the whole week, and I know it’s important,” I say, knowing exactly what that means.
“Don’t worry, really.” She waves her hands and walks into the office to get her phone and her purse. “I’ve been craving it ever since you mentioned it, and if I don’t have it now, I don’t think I’ll be able to work in peace.”
“As dramatic as ever, huh?”
“Some things never change.” We start walking together, and within seconds, Elena grabs one of my arms, holding on to me. “Did you enjoy Sunday?”
“What do you think?” I raise an eyebrow. “I had a really hard time sleeping, so I woke up with dark circles under my eyes that went all the way down to my cheeks”—I exaggerate, and she laughs—“but I don’t regret a thing.”
We fall silent, and for a moment, I’m afraid she’ll say the opposite.
After what happened at the club, I’m afraid she’ll take a step back and blame it on the alcohol.
However, once we step into the elevator and lock eyes, the chemistry returns, the butterflies start fluttering in my stomach, and a tingling sensation runs through my skin, making the hairs on my arms stand on end.
“You really don’t regret anything?” she asks, biting her lower lip, making me sigh.
“Just one thing,” I reply, and I take a step forward, wrapping my arms around her waist.
“What?” She wraps her arms around my neck, pressing her forehead against mine.
“That I let you go and didn’t spend the night with you,” I confess, and she looks away from my eyes to let out a small sigh. “I didn’t want the day to end.”
“This is like Cinderella. The spell always breaks after midnight…” And without another word, she pulls away to take one of my hands, breaking the closeness.
For some strange reason, I sense that my answer isn’t what she expected.
I should have told her I regretted what happened in the past, but part of me feels it wasn’t a mistake because it allowed me to discover what I truly wanted and needed.
“By the way! Did you know Ana and Inaki have started dating?”
“What!?” I’m surprised. “Really? I can’t believe it. Wow…” I exclaim thoughtfully. “How long have they been flirting?”
“For years,” she replies, widening her eyes dramatically. “It all started on our wedding day, remember? What a show they put on out on the dance floor.”
“I remember it like it was yesterday…”
“Can I ask you something?” Elena catches me off guard and faces me. “The day we signed the divorce papers, you said there was no other way out for us,” she recalls, without taking her eyes off mine. “Did you really believe that?”
“Yes, I did,” I think, and yet I’m unable to say it.
“Things weren’t easy at work; I was really overwhelmed.
I couldn’t quit because it was a direct path to a position at the newspaper, and…
” I answer honestly, without hiding how I felt back then.
“You needed something I couldn’t give you—something I was incapable of giving you at that moment, even though I loved you madly. There was no other solution for us.”
“There was, but you didn’t think of it. I think you decided without taking into account what I wanted…”
“The truth is, I regret a lot of things,” I confess, driven by fear, and look away from her eyes. “But it can’t be changed now. I guess we did it, and that…”
“And what’s done is done, isn’t it?” She gives me a look full of emotions I can’t describe. I’d love to assure her that we can get back what we had before we divorced, but I have to be clear with her.
“The only thing we can do now is not let this opportunity slip away. Accept that our love is still there, that our chemistry is so strong it makes me tremble…” I assure her once the elevator doors open. “Our previous relationship may have ended, but we can still welcome something much better.”
“Do you mean…?”
“That after what happened the other night, I’d love for us to try again,” I reply with overwhelming sincerity, making her see that I’m willing to do anything, to let go of the past and allow us to enjoy what we have now. “As long as you want it too, of course.”
“That’s what I want…” she says, and the doors close again.
Elena locks the elevator, and that gets on my nerves.
“But I haven’t had an easy time these past few years.
I had to go to therapy because I couldn’t find a way to move forward without you, and now…
” She looks me in the eyes. “Now you’re where you’ve always been—in my heart, in my head, in everything—and I admit I’m scared. ”
“I’m not asking you to marry me again, just… don’t hide from me.”
“I couldn’t do that,” she confesses and moves closer to wrap her arms around me. “Believe me, I couldn’t run away from you. I’ve only been trying to protect my heart.”
“You don’t have to…” I promise before pulling her close, cupping her face in my hands, and watching my reflection in her beautiful gray eyes. “I’m not going to hurt you again. I promise.”
“Don’t promise things you don’t know if you’ll be able to keep, Vicky. We have no idea what’s going to happen, and you and I both know that.”
“Then let’s start with this,” I suggest, and without another word, I kiss her.
Right now, I don’t care about the outing or the slushie or that walk around the island.
All I want is for my body to speak to her, for her to sense that my feelings for her are strong, that what I’ve told her is so real that words aren’t necessary to explain it.
Just like it happened at the club, the emotions are right on the surface.
The elevator car feels too small for us, and even though it isn’t moving, I start to think I’m going to have to get used to flying every time I kiss her.
I don’t remember if I felt these things in the past, but right now, I’m trembling because my desire to make love to her is even greater than my desire to share every minute by her side.