Chapter 20 Forever Be My Almost
Forever Be My Almost
Paisley
I am woken by the scraping of hooves. At first I don’t know where I am, but when I realize it, I close my eyes even harder. In a childlike way I convince myself that, if I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist.
The hay is poking my cheek. Wanting to turn on my side, I am suddenly blocked by a heavy weight by my hip.
Oh, God. This isn’t real, is it?
I open one eye, just a sec, real slow, and when I see what I assumed, I shut it again as quick as I can.
My heart is beating faster than these horses can gallop.
Knox has put his arm around me! I am positive it wasn’t intentional.
It probably just happened. But what should I do?
Push it away? Leave it there? Maybe I can roll on my side before he realizes it and take off.
Before I can decide one way or the other, I hear the heavy iron bar being moved upward and…voices. I hear voices.
For one excruciating second I go through all the various possibilities in my head. Without much success, as the only way we could disappear from this stable with no back door is by disintegrating.
“Knox,” I hiss. “Knox, wake up!”
Too late. The door swings open and…a whole throng of people surge inside. At least a dozen, led by William and Ruth.
“Please stay calm,” William says to the group. He is standing with his back to us, but the tourists have already discovered Knox and me. They are staring. Some of them open-mouthed. “There is one horse for everyone and…”
He doesn’t get any further as he is interrupted by a girl’s shrill cry. “Knox Winterbottom!” She reaches out her hand and points at Knox, whose eyes flash open in panic. “Oh, my God, it’s him! It’s really him!”
“Who’s the girl?” someone asks.
“Oh, God. He’s got a girlfriend?”
“No way,” says the first. “People would know about that!”
Ruth and William turn around to look at us.
Everyone is staring as if we were exotic zoo animals that they had never been able to look at up close.
Not knowing what to do, I dig my fingers into the hay.
Knox’s arm is still around my hip. I wish he’d pull it away, but apparently he’s fallen into a kind of shock.
His normally tanned face is as white as chalk.
And then it happens. Several women pull out their phones at the same time and turn them toward us. They are taking photos of us and, suddenly, I can’t breathe. This is a nightmare.
Finally, Knox comes to. He pulls his arm away, jumps up, and stands in front of me. “Stop that shit! Put your phones away. We’re not animals, damn it!”
Ruth seems completely confused. She looks from me to him to the tourists before jumping to Knox’s side, waving her hands, and calling out “Enough!” In the meantime, from William all anyone can hear is, “You’re frightening the horses, the horses!”
But the tourists are not to be stopped. They’re going crazy. I don’t know what shocks me more: the insane situation or their absolutely insane behavior.
Ruth tries to calm the women down, but as the first few begin to fall over Knox, grabbing him wherever they can as if having to check that he was real, it becomes clear that we have to get out of here. Right away. God, they’re nuts!
I struggle up out of the hay and grab the Valentino bag just as Knox manages to free himself from their tentacles. We run for the door. It’s only when we’re just about outside that I realize the women want to run after us, but Ruth and William block the way. I’ve got to thank them later on.
Knox and I run the snowy path back into town. As I’m considering whether to call a taxi or whether we should try to catch a bus, a black Volvo pulls up and Wyatt sticks out his head. “You want to tell me why you all look like you’re on the run?”
I hear Knox let out a sigh of relief. “Thank God.” He pulls open the passenger side door and swings inside next to Wyatt.
When I don’t move, he looks at me. “If you’ve got stolen diamonds in that bag of yours, you’d better jump in.
Unless you want to get caught, that is.” He looks over my shoulder and his eyes grow wide.
“Oh, man, they’re coming! Paisley, get in, quick! ”
The panic in his voice sounds so real that I spin around, my heart pounding. But of course there’s no one there.
Wyatt breaks into laughter. “Your face! You should have seen your face!”
I glare at him, but hurry into the car. Those women were truly insane. They could show up here at any second and start running after the car; I wouldn’t put it past them.
Wyatt is still laughing as he drives off. “Man, are you all lucky that I’m on my way to the game. What did you all do?”
“Nothing.” Knox rubs his neck and closes his eyes. “Some fans totally lost it back there in the barn. That was sick, man. I’ve never experienced anything like that before.”
“Oh, shit.” Wyatt looks back at me in the rearview mirror. “You okay?”
Wow, that’s…nice of him.
“All good. I mean, I don’t know…they took photos.”
“Photos? For real? Right now?”
Knox looks at him. “Dude, those were red fans. No shit.”
“Red fans?” I ask.
Wyatt turns on his signal and leaves town in the direction of Aspen Highlands.
“Green fans are sweet. Shy and reserved, hardly get a word out. Yellow fans are a bit pushier, they want autographs and don’t let you go.
It’s harder to get rid of them. But red fans are crazy.
For them, you’re the best pair of shoes at a going-out-of-business sale. ”
Knox turns around to look at me. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of the photos. The tourists were with Ruth, which means that they’re staying at her B the tense seconds on the ice before the music starts and the program begins.
Just that this time, it’s scarier cause I don’t know what will happen next.
There is no carefully curated run-of-events to hold onto.
No steps to execute with precision and security.
There is only Knox and me. Knox, who keeps on moving closer. Knox, who smells like hay and vetiver. Knox, who I feel drawn to at this moment like no one else.
But there is something else that comes between us. Real quietly, crawling, ugly. Way too dark for it to be good. It tugs at my memories. Reminds me what happens when you begin to trust. When you begin to fall for the trap of the illusion of safety.
At the beginning, it’s always good. But at the end, all that’s left is pain.
His face is really close. I notice a small birthmark next to his full lips. The green of his eyes is shot through with even brighter, glowing spots. I observe every centimeter of his face, I can hardly pull away. I want this moment. I want it so bad.
Knox is waiting, he’s giving me time. He’s leaving it up to me. And it would be so easy to choose him right now. Just the slightest tilt of my head, a tiny movement, and our lips would touch.
But I can’t. Fear wins out.
“The champagne,” I whisper. “You wanted to show me the champagne.”
Two blinks pass before the moment is over. Slowly Knox leans back. He rubs his neck again and briefly looks over my shoulder through the window. The bright snow is reflected in his eyes.
Then he nods. “True.”
Never has the word sounded so false.