Chapter Four
Chapter Four
“I love that we do this every year.” Amber covered a yawn with her hand. “I remember the first time you hauled us out of bed to go for a morning walk to see the sunrise, I thought you were out of your mind.”
“And now?” Jenna asked.
“For crepes at that little marina café, I would get up at midnight for a long walk,” she answered. “What were you and Carson whispering about last night?”
“I was rude and asked him if he was married.”
Kelly plopped down on the grass. “We need details about the question you asked Carson while we rest for a second. I’m used to walking several hundred steps a day, but it’s on level ground. While we’re taking a breather, you can tell us all about what he said.”
Jenna sat down beside her. “He’s not married. He was engaged at one time, but he’s not in a relationship now. I feel like a fifth grader talking about a new boy who’s come to our school.”
“Want me to make a note that says, ‘check yes or no if you want to be my boyfriend’?” Kelly asked. “I can get it ready, and you can give it to him next time he pops by, or you could be real romantic and hide it under a plate of brownies.”
“I don’t think so,” Jenna answered. “I’m not as far into the closure stage as y’all are. I’m not ready to trust anyone like Amber does Ethan. I haven’t even been able to throw my mama’s ashes out in the lake like she said to do in her will.”
Kelly scooted over and gave her a sideways hug. “It will happen when it’s supposed to, but until then, just enjoy having Carson for a friend if nothing else. Don’t rush anything, or you might have regrets. We’ll all be talking once a month like always, and we’ll expect reports.”
“With details,” Amber said.
“And I will want details about your kids, Amber, and your job, Kelly, and everything else going on in your lives,” Jenna told them. “We have to make the best of this week, since it’s the last one we’ll have for a few years. When y’all come back to the States for visits, please know you are welcome here anytime. I’ll even rent an extra cabin if you want to bring family or friends.”
“Thank you,” Amber said. “And we can always have our morning sunrise walk with just us three, right?”
“Of course,” Jenna said, past the lump in her throat, when she thought of not being able to look forward to their yearly visits anymore. “I am happy for y’all. I really am, but it’s bittersweet. I don’t know how I’m going to tell you goodbye when the week is up.”
“Don’t feel bad that we won’t have our week every single year,” Amber said. “Feel happy for all the good memories. You just need to find love, my friend.”
“Does the pain from our grieving ever go away?” Jenna asked.
“We don’t get over it, but we do get through it with a lot of help,” Kelly answered.
Jenna shook her head slowly. “That’s not reassuring.”
“No, but it’s the truth.” Kelly gave her a weak smile. “The challenge is in not trying to make it go away but accepting it because that pain is what made us who we are today. Closure isn’t in making it disappear, but it’s in realizing that the experience has given us understanding of life and who we are. Living with the pain or the guilt is not easy, but it teaches us that if something of value is dropped into our lives in the future, then we should fight for it with all the energy that we have.”
“And we daily, sometimes hourly, fight for what is better than what we had,” Amber whispered.
“It’s easier said than done,” Jenna said.
“You’ve got to want closure, and you’ve got to put in the work to have it. I think that Carson might just be the answer,” Kelly declared. “By the way, I read that in a romance book. I wrote it down and keep it in my Bible. It’s not word for word, but you get the general idea.”
Amber pointed at a bank of clouds gathering across the lake and moving toward the sliver of sun coming up. “That looks like rain. If we’re going to get to the café for crepes before it hits, we might ought to get moving. Texas storms don’t wait around for invitations. They just plow ahead with a force. But sometimes there’s a rainbow at the end of a storm. Kelly and I have found our rainbows. Now, it’s up to you, Jenna, to find yours.”
“I’ll try,” Jenna said. “We should all start a daily journal. Nothing too elaborate, but just a few words so we don’t forget anything when we visit.”
“That’s a great idea!” Kelly popped up on her feet. “I’m not a jogger, but as fast as those clouds are moving toward us, we better hustle walking to get to that café before the rain starts.”
Jenna led the way and kept an eye on the clouds that really were moving fast. Could that be a sign that the dark clouds that still overshadowed her life on some days were moving away? That they would leave a rainbow in their wake, and she could truly find peace? Did true peace mean closure?
The rain came down in gray sheets on the other side of the lake right after they ducked into the café and claimed a table. Within five minutes, the wind was pelting rain against the windows so hard that Jenna felt like she was in a cocoon with her two friends inside the tiny little marina café.
“Looks like the weather is going to keep folks away until it passes,” the waitress said as she brought three cups, three breakfast menus, and a full coffeepot to their table. “What can I get you ladies this morning? All of you want coffee?”
“Yes, for me,” Jenna answered. “I don’t even need to look at the menu. I’ll have the strawberries and crème crepes.”
“Same here,” Amber said.
“And me, too, but I want the banana, not strawberry,” Kelly added.
Jenna didn’t recognize the woman, but she caught a glimpse of her name tag. “Thank you, Wanda. Did you make it to work before the storm hit?”
“Yes, but not with a lot of time to spare,” Wanda answered. “I live on the other side of the lake, and when I left, it was raining cats and dogs and baby elephants—that’s what my granny always said when it comes down in sheets like this. But I managed to get the café door unlocked before it hit. The cook was right behind me, but our busboy is going to get wet for sure when he gets here. If it’s got to rain, I’d rather see it now than over the weekend, when all the vacationers are here. Rain keeps them inside. No gas for their boats. No beer sales. No one to get out for meals here in the café. I’ll get these orders right in. Shouldn’t be too long, since y’all are the only ones here.”
“Thank you,” Jenna said, and took a sip of her coffee. “Nothing like the first cup in the morning, and this is pretty good.”
Amber twisted the back of her long, blond hair up into a messy bun and held it in place with a clip she pulled off of the tail of her T-shirt. Then she took a sip of her coffee and nodded. “I agree. Not as good as what you make at the cabin, but not bad at all. Ethan takes his with cream and two sugars, but my granny made me learn to drink it black. And that is another good memory.”
“Want to share?” Kelly asked, as she opened three packages of sugar substitute and shook them into her cup. Then she peeled the top from three individual containers of half-and-half and added that before she took a sip. “Now this is good coffee. The fake sugar nullifies all the cream when it comes to counting calories.”
“I like the way you think,” Amber said.
“Thank you, but you were about to tell me that memory about coffee,” Kelly said.
Amber pointed out the window. “I think I see a vehicle out there. We may not be the only ones in here in a few minutes.”
The door flew open, and it seemed like a blast of wind literally blew Carson into the café. One second, they were alone, and the next, he had come inside and slammed the door shut behind him. He removed his yellow slicker, hung it on a coat rack, and then wiped his feet on the welcome mat right inside the café.
“Well, hello!” Kelly called out. “Come on over and join us. You are just in time to hear Amber tell us a story about her granny’s views on coffee.”
Carson didn’t argue, but crossed over to the table, pulled out the empty chair beside Jenna, and sat down. “I’ve already had breakfast, but I’d sure like a cup of coffee. That rain is cold, almost like it’s coming off hail. I’m not complaining, though. Not after spending the better part of a year in hotter-’n-hell heat with no rain in sight for months and months on end.”
Jenna was very aware of his shoulder brushing against hers, and of the heat that it stirred up inside her. Dammit! she thought. If Amber and Kelly hadn’t talked about him being sexy, and having a voice like Sam Elliott, she wouldn’t be thinking thoughts that shot desire through her body.
Just because you are a self-proclaimed hermit does not mean you don’t have a woman’s desires and needs, the voice that sounded a lot like her mother’s whispered softly in her head. Own them and embrace them. And there’s nothing wrong with a little sexual attraction.
Wanda brought out their orders and set the plates on the table. “Well, good mornin’, handsome park ranger,” she flirted. “Will you have the regular?”
“Not this morning. Just coffee,” Carson answered.
She hurried back to the kitchen, brought out another cup, and then topped off the three ladies’ coffee. “Anything else I can get y’all? How about you, Carson? Maybe just a small order of French toast? It’ll be on the house to show how much we appreciate our park rangers.”
“No, thanks,” Carson said. “I’m good this morning.”
“Well, honey”—she leaned down far enough to give him a good shot of her cleavage—“if you change your mind, you just holler.”
She didn’t wait for him to say anything, but rushed to the other side of the dining room when two customers came in and parked their umbrellas in the galvanized milk can right inside the door.
“She’s flirting with you,” Amber whispered.
“Yep,” Carson agreed. “But I don’t have to flirt back, especially when I’m sitting here with three lovely women. You were going to tell us a good memory, right?”
“Okay, here goes.” Amber nodded. “I was fourteen that year and figured I should learn to drink coffee. After school, my friends and I would go to a little hole-in-the-wall café not far from the school. I would have a soda, but some of them would order coffee. That looked so grownup and cool that I decided to join them. So, the next morning, I told Granny that I wanted a cup of coffee instead of my usual glass of milk for breakfast. She didn’t ask any questions, just poured me a mugful. Most folks used six scoops of coffee for twelve cups of water. Granny said that just made murdered water. She used twelve scoops. I took the first sip, shivered so bad that I thought my toenails had fallen off, and asked for milk and sugar. She shook her head and said, ‘Oh, no, my child. Life does not come with sugar and milk to sweeten it up, and neither does my coffee. ’ I did not drink coffee for many years, not until I eloped with Frankie. Now I’m going to eat before these wonderful crepes get cold. Someone else can tell a story.”
“Your granny was a smart woman,” Jenna said. “Miz Ramona taught me to drink espresso when I was about that age. I think she was getting me ready for my Paris trip.”
“Mama used to water down coffee and let me and my sister have it for tea parties,” Kelly added. “She read somewhere that it would calm kids who were truly hyperactive. I think it was a bunch of bunk, because it just made my sister’s ADHD worse.”
Jenna turned to Carson. “How about you? When did you start drinking it?”
“At about age fifteen, when I got my first hangover,” he said with a chuckle.
“I hear a good story,” Kelly said.
Jenna remembered her first hangover, but she forgot about that story when a few hailstones hit the window right beside them. “Seems like the storm is stalling out right over the café.”
“None of us have any other place to be right now, so we can enjoy our breakfast,” Kelly said.
“In good company,” Carson added with a nod.
For the next hour, the rain came down in sheets, and the wind gusts pounded against the windows. A few lightning streaks split their way through the downpour. Thunder followed and rumbled overhead.
“I need to get back on my rounds,” Carson said. “Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet keeps a park ranger from doing his job.”
Wanda brought the check, and Carson pulled out his wallet. Jenna laid a hand on his arm. “I’ve got this. All you had was a cup of coffee.”
“Thank you for the coffee, but even more for the company,” Carson said. “I didn’t see a vehicle out there. Can I give y’all a lift back to your cabin?”
“Yes!” Kelly said.
“Then you ladies wait by the door, and I’ll drive the ranger Jeep up as close as I can get it so maybe you won’t get soaked.” He pushed back his chair, got to his feet, and put on the rain slicker and his hat.
“Talk about good fortune,” Amber said. “Or maybe the universe is smiling down on you, Jenna, and putting Carson right in your sights.”
“You need to open your eyes and see him, or you will hurt the universe’s feelings,” Kelly teased. “He’s been flung down from the heavens to help you, but you have to do your part, or someone else is going to snatch him out from under you.”
Jenna laid a couple of bills on the table. “I see him, but I’m not sure I’m ready to trust him. Or any other guy, for that matter.”
Amber opened the door, waited a couple of minutes, then dashed outside with Kelly right behind her. Jenna had never been very graceful, so she chose her footing carefully as she went down the steps and out to the car. Carson had opened the passenger door for her with only a few big splotches of water on her denim jacket.
The windshield wipers couldn’t keep up with the rain, so Carson drove so slowly that the five-minute drive back to her cabin took twice that long. Then as suddenly as the storm had begun, it stopped, and the sun came out just before he pulled into her driveway.
“Look!” Kelly pointed out the side window. “There’s a double rainbow, and the end is right over the top of Jenna’s house.”
“Is there a pot of gold in there?” Carson teased.
“Could be.” Jenna grabbed her phone from her purse and took half a dozen pictures of the rainbow. They wouldn’t be as clear as she would like, but they would do as a reference for the picture that she would paint later.
“Thanks for the ride,” Amber said. “I promised to FaceTime with Lisa and Ian every day, so I’m going to sneak upstairs and do that.”
“And I’ve got a couple of calls to make to the team that will be flying with me. Just some last-minute details,” Kelly added. “I’ll be finished in ten or fifteen minutes.”
“Want to come inside?” Jenna asked. “There’s some brownies left from yesterday if you’d like a midmorning snack.”
“I can’t. I’ve got a list to fill for Aunt Dorena at the grocery store. You want to go with me?” Carson asked.
“Yes, she does. We’ll be busy for an hour or more,” Kelly answered for her.
“I can answer for myself,” Jenna grumbled. “But, yes, I would like to go with you. I need milk and bread and a few other things.”
Kelly and Amber got out of the vehicle and waved from the porch.
“The little snow cone stand beside the grocery store opened this week. We could get one when we are finished buying groceries,” Carson said. “What’s your favorite flavor?”
“Rainbow with orange, pineapple, and blue coconut. What’s yours?”
“Strawberry, but I might try one like yours today. That sounds like a good mixture.”
Jenna mentally listed the dozens of questions and the teasing she would get when she got back home. But, hey, both her friends had thought she should jump right into the deep water and move on. Besides, it was broad daylight. There wouldn’t be any kissing at the door to make it a real date.
That did not mean that when he reached up to get the bread off the top shelf and his arm brushed against hers that she didn’t feel electricity. Or that she wished the snow cone would do more than give her a brain freeze and cool down the heat in her body.
* * *
When they got back home, he insisted on taking her groceries in for her, and she had a brief moment of panic. She had not had a man in the house except for repairmen since she had moved in ten years ago. Good God! she thought. I’m a grown damn woman. I need to get over this and tell him that I’m having feelings for him.
He seemed to take in the whole area in one sweeping glance, and then came back to the painting above the credenza. “Is that one of yours?”
“Yes, it is,” she answered, before she even thought. “Paris in the morning.”
He tilted his head to one side. “It’s beautiful, and I’ve seen it somewhere else.” His brow furrowed, and finally he snapped his fingers. “I remember now. A friend of mine and Bubba’s was married, and his wife had a reproduction of that above her sofa.” He took a step closer to get a better look. “You are famous, aren’t you?”
“Shhhh . . .” She put her fingers over her lips and pointed up the staircase. “Don’t tell anyone. It’s a highly classified secret.”
“Do Amber and Kelly know?” he asked.
“They just know that I sell a few paintings every now and then,” she answered. “I don’t want recognition.”
“But you are JayLee, the famous artist that no one has ever met,” he argued, and pointed toward the signature in the corner.
Why had she let it slip? Was the universe truly trying to throw her and Carson together, and if so, why? But in for a penny, in for a dollar , as her father used to say.
“My name is Jenna Lee—my mother’s middle name was Jenene. Lee after my father’s middle name. Everyone called Mama by her first name, which was Marsha. Miz Ramona helped me decide on my professional signature.” She was amazed that it felt so good to tell someone that little bit of news about her life.
“I don’t know diddly-squat about art, but I do know that is beautiful, and my friend’s wife said that her print was priceless to her,” he said. “And Jenna, what you do isn’t who you are.”
“Who am I, Carson?” she asked. “I’ve been struggling with that question for years.”
“From what I have seen in Kelly and Amber’s eyes, you are the glue that has held your little group of best friends together for years. If I took a poll of the people here on the lake, they would tell me that you are a fantastic neighbor, willing to jump in and help whenever it’s needed,” he answered.
“And what about you?” she asked.
“In my eyes, you are a strong independent woman with a big heart,” he answered. “One that I would love to get to know better in the coming days.”
“I would like that, too,” she said with a smile.