Chapter 23 #3
"I ran." The word came out flat, hollow, landing heavy in the air between us.
"At sixteen. Couldn't take it anymore—the last placement was.
.." I stopped, shook my head, unable to finish that sentence.
"I just ran. Didn't look back. Been running ever since.
" I stared into the fire, watching the flames dance, unable to look at any of them.
"Move from place to place. Work whatever job would have me.
Don't stay too long. Don't trust anyone.
" I paused, my voice cracking like thin ice.
"Don't let anyone close enough to hurt you. "
The silence that followed was heavy, but not uncomfortable. They were giving me space, I realized. Letting me say what I needed to say without interrupting, without trying to fix it.
"That's why I almost ran again." My voice came out barely a whisper, rough with old pain and fresh tears threatening to fall.
"When I showed up here. When Reid offered me a job, a place to stay.
My whole body was screaming at me to run, because nothing good ever came without a price. Nothing was ever really free."
"It is here." Reid's voice was fierce against my ear, his arm like an anchor around my shoulders, his scent surrounding me completely—whiskey and woodsmoke and safety. "Whatever you need. No price. No strings."
"I know that now." I turned to look at him, at his dark eyes burning with protective intensity, his weathered face fierce with emotion that made my chest ache. "I didn't know it then. I'd never had anyone give me something without wanting something back."
"What made you stay?" Sawyer's voice was rough, the first time he'd spoken in a while, his pale eyes blazing in the firelight like blue flames, his scarred hands still clenched on his knees, his whole body tense with emotion.
I thought about it—really thought, trying to pinpoint the moment when running had stopped feeling like the only option.
"The way Nolan treated me." I said finally, my voice soft and wondering, my eyes finding his across the fire, his green gaze gentle and patient.
"That first day, when he was checking me over.
He asked permission before he touched me.
Explained what he was doing. Gave me space to say no.
" My voice cracked, tears burning at the corners of my eyes.
"No one had ever done that before. No one had ever treated me like my comfort mattered. "
Nolan's eyes went bright with tears, his freckled face flushing with emotion, his throat working as he swallowed hard.
"And then he just... let me be." I continued, the words coming easier now, my gaze moving around the circle to each of them.
"Didn't push. Didn't demand answers. Just gave me space and time and let me figure out if I wanted to stay.
" I looked around at all of them—Reid's steady strength, Kol's open warmth, Nolan's gentle wisdom, Sawyer's fierce protectiveness.
"And then all of you did the same. You let me be skittish and scared and difficult, and you just..
. kept being kind anyway. Kept showing up.
Kept treating me like I belonged here even when I didn't believe it myself. "
"You do belong here." Kol's voice was fierce, his amber eyes bright with unshed tears, his whole body vibrating with intensity, his grip on my ankle almost painful. "You belong with us, Aster. I wish you'd known that from the start. I wish someone had told you."
"I know it now." My voice was rough, thick with tears I was fighting to hold back, my chest aching with emotion. "You tell me every day. All of you. In different ways."
The fire crackled between us, sending sparks up into the star-filled sky.
Kol shifted, climbing up onto the log beside me, pressing close against my other side so I was sandwiched between him and Reid.
His scent mixed with Reid's, orange blossoms and whiskey and warmth.
Nolan and Sawyer moved closer too, until we were all huddled together in a warm mass of bodies and blankets.
"Thank you for telling us." Nolan's voice was soft, his hand finding mine across the tangle of limbs, his fingers warm and gentle, his green eyes bright with emotion. "I know that wasn't easy."
"It was easier than I expected." I admitted, squeezing his hand, feeling the warmth of his skin against mine.
"I've never told anyone any of that. Never wanted to.
But with you—" I stopped, struggling to find the words.
"It feels safe. Like I can say the hard things and you won't use them against me. "
"Never." Sawyer's voice was rough, fierce, his pale eyes blazing with protective intensity, his jaw tight with emotion. "We would never."
"I know." And I did. That was the miracle of it—I actually believed them.
We sat in comfortable silence for a while, the fire burning low, the stars wheeling overhead.
At some point, Kol's hand found mine, his fingers threading through mine with gentle pressure.
Reid's thumb traced absent patterns on my shoulder.
Nolan's presence was a warm weight against my side, and Sawyer's eyes, when I caught them across the dying flames, were soft with something that made my chest ache.
"More s'mores?" Kol's voice was soft, hopeful, his amber eyes gentle as he looked at me, his honey-blond hair mussed and falling across his forehead.
"Always." I smiled, and the expression felt natural on my face, easy in a way it hadn't been for years.
We made another round, and then another.
By the time the fire burned down to embers, I had chocolate on my fingers and marshmallow on my chin and more happiness in my heart than I'd ever known was possible.
"We should do this again." I said quietly, as we gathered up the blankets and headed back toward the house, the cool night air settling around us. "Not just s'mores. Just... being together. Talking."
"Whenever you want." Reid's voice was rough with emotion, his hand finding the small of my back, guiding me gently toward the warm lights of the house. "All you have to do is ask."
"Or don't ask." Kol added, his arm slipping around my waist, his warmth pressing against my side, his scent sweet and comforting. "Just show up. We'll always make room for you."
I looked back at the dying embers of the fire, then up at the stars scattered across the endless sky, then at the four Alphas walking beside me toward a house that was starting to feel like home.
"Okay." My voice came out soft, but certain. "I will."
For the first time in my life, I meant it.