Chapter 7 Mistake
?Azalea?
I down the last bit of my milkshake, ignoring Grey's gaze.
Especially when it drips down my chin I know he's judging me.
But from the way he's looking at me when I finally make eye contact with him, it seems like he's not judging me but something else.
I'm not sure what it is though.
"Are you sure you don't want one? You look hungry," I say.
He licks his lips as I wipe my chin with my hand. See what I mean, he's hungry, I'm sure of it.
The corner of his lips turns up a bit.
His jaw clenches deliciously and my bottom lip rolls into my mouth. He bites his.
"God, stop Azalea," he says in a rushed tone, "stop."
"Stop what?" My head tilts on its own accord and I feel his leg bouncing up and down underneath the table.
"I'm sorry," I apologize. For what? I don't know. I release my lip and look around the place.
I feel a hand grab my leg under the narrow table.
"Don't fucking stop," he stares at me predatorily.
Before I can even blink, he throws a $20 on the table.
A twenty? Gosh darn, all the waiter did was ask what we wanted monotonously.
He shoots up from his seat and grabs my hand, pulling me with him.
With the large hinges and rotation controlling brace, post operation of my first surgery on my knee, it eases some pain.
I got it from my car after we stopped by Mr. Terrip's. I had left it in there after I went to the doctors one day and they told me I didn't need it anymore.
Now I need it again.
I try and keep up, as well as keeping my weight off the leg because even though it's an expensive, metal brace, it doesn't fix my problem.
"Grey, easy," I softly remind him but instead of stopping he turns to me and lifts me up.
"Grey," I gasp as he carries me across town square before turning down Red Street.
"Hush, Lilah," He shushes me planting a kiss on my neck.
I let out a shocked noise. Am I dreaming? I have to be.
Is he drunk? Am I drunk?
Was I drugged at the milkshake place, oh Lord.
He pushes open the door at his bar and I catch sight of that bartender guy.
"Hey buddy!" I call out and his eyes find mine. They widen at my predicament for a minute before a cute smile spreads across his face.
"How are you?" I call out before Grey grabs ahold of my chin, turning my focus back to him.
"Eyes on me, only me," he grumbles.
He brushes through the doors to the back and we end up in the same place as before. The one where they have all the alcohol stocked up.
He aggressively sits me on the table before grabbing my hips with his big, strong hands. He pulls me to the edge, placing our bodies together.
Me being me, all flustered and stuff, I blush and mumble incoherent sounds.
"Fuck. Look at you," His tattooed hand travels up my neck before taking rest at the top of my throat.
My skirt rises and he notices. His free hand finds my leg and he glances down.
"You can't wear these Lilah, you just can't," he mumbles lowly before pulling my skirt down to it's supposed placement.
"What did I tell you about that?" His eyes find my lips and I just now notice how I'm biting it.
"S-Sorry," I stutter pathetically.
Am I horny? What does horny feel like? I'm not even sure I know what that means.
He presses against me harder and to create some distance, before I go crazy, my hand finds his stomach.
I nearly gasp at how tense and strong he feels.
When I feel his breath on my neck, I notice how heavy I've started breathing.
I feel like this isn't real. Did I accidentally smoke LSD? Do you smoke LSD? Am I okay?
The type of girl you wanna chew all of my bubblegum.
Why am I thinking of Paul Blart right now!?
His lips connect to my neck and I gasp softly. No one has ever kissed me here before. He gives my neck soft, wet kisses and I sigh into him.
My hand trails from his stomach around to his back on its own, feeling the way he tenses under my touch and every time he breathes.
When his mouth reaches a spot right beside my throat, my hand grips his shirt harshly and I have to bite my lip to keep from making a noise.
My breathing increases as he stays on that spot, noticing my reaction.
His arm reaches around me, pulling me impossibly tighter to him.
His mouth works wonders on the spot and I can't help but to finally let out a soft moan.
I'm pulled further into my trance even when his mouth pulls away from my neck. He places one last kiss on the spot before bringing his head out of my neck.
My bottom lip returns to its hated place between my teeth and he finally looks at my face.
His dark eyes meet mine and his tattooed hand trails up from my neck to where my teeth meet my bottom lip.
"Why do you get me so riled up?" He questions, although I feel it's more to himself so I don't answer.
He pulls my lip from my teeth with his thumb, watching my mouth the whole time.
Before I can say sorry for forgetting or anything, he takes my bottom lip between his teeth.
He pulls at it before biting down, I let out a gasp at the sudden pinch but he releases, placing a kiss on it before I can say a word.
It's burning hot in this room, holy moly.
His lips land on mine fully and I come to the shagadelic realization that we're kissing.
His taste is mesmerizing. I bet I taste like Oreos considering the milkshake I've just had.
"Damn boss, another one in here?" A male voice speaks as soon as the door to the room opens.
I shoot away with a gasp before his words dawn on me.
Another one?
"Out, Jonas," Grey sneers darkly and the guy leaves.
My heart sinks and Grey turns his attention back to me. I remove my hand from his back.
I keep my eyes down, too afraid to see his eyes and how he's looking at me after I've just given quite a bit of myself to him.
I'd been kissed before, a slight peck actually from a truth or dare game at a birthday party Jake brought me to but other than that, I've done nothing.
"You need to go home," he decides and I can't bring myself to fight it anymore.
With his one arm that is still wrapped around me, he lifts me off the counter and places my feet gently on the ground.
His strong arm supports me as I walk to the door. He opens it for me and I'm surprised he does it.
"Thank you," I thank him softly but he doesn't respond.
Once out in the main section, I notice how empty it is. Except for the crowd of guys surrounding the bar.
Now's the time to become a pimp. With all these guys here, it's a perfect setup.
I walk carefully across the dark wooden floor, Grey still clings onto me, thank goodness. He's actually being very helpful.
Maybe he feels bad for acting like my knee wasn't even hurt.
I feel eyes on me. More like two dozen eyes on me.
Where's everyone else in the bar? How come only those guys are here?
Finally, we make it to the main door. Thankfully, Grey doesn't stop there. He walks me all the way to where my car is.
"Thank you for helping me," I give him a small smile but he doesn't see it, too busy keeping his eyes away from me.
He never does that. Usually, it's always him who has his eyes on me and I'm the one looking away.
"It was a mistake," his words dig into me and if feels as if the world around us is silent. The buzzing of the street lights stop and the crickets halt their sound-making.
He's talking about the kiss and everything before it, I can feel it in my heart.
"I-Oh," is all I can muster. This time, it's me who looks away and him who looks at me.
Why does that hurt really bad?
"It shouldn't've happened," he continues in a final tone just adding to the wound.
I swallow the golf ball sized lump in my throat as the back of my eyes sting.
Why was I so stupid to let it happen? It's all my fault.
I deserve to feel this way.
Maybe it's the world getting back at me for killing my brother.
The emotions I try so, so hard to keep at bay are released in the form of a single tear.
I was hoping Grey wouldn't catch sight of it. He sees everything.
"Azalea," He starts, his fist clenching by his side, and it makes me want to cry more. His tone is emotionless and he didn't even call me Lilah.
"It's okay," I wipe the tear with my shirt sleeve, giving him a smile I mustered up with my last strength.
"I-um," I clear my throat to keep my voice from sounding so weak. I know I'm already weak enough to him.
"I'm gonna head home," I bite the inside of my cheek trying to keep my nose from wobbling like it always does when I cry.
I struggle to get into my car which only makes me ten times as frustrated and when I look up to see if he watched me look stupid, I find that he's already gone.
It's there where I release the waterfall of emotions I was holding back.
The Niagara Falls of emotions, lemme tell you.
~~~
"You're a fuckin' waste," my father slurs down at me.
"I pray that it should've been you; not Jake," he continues and I try my best to crawl away from him, unable to stand up on my own from where he threw me down.
"Look at you," He sneers, bending down to me, eyeing my knee brace.
"Can't even fucking walk right. You're disgusting. You're a murderer," I feel my back hit a wall and I'm in a corner. For what seems like the nine-hundredth time today, I cry my eyes out.
I'm weak.
I'm pathetic.
I'm disgusting.
I'm a mistake.
I'm a murderer.
"You're a fucking whore," my father grips my chin painfully, tilting my head up.
"Look at your hickey you piece of shit," he presses a finger against the spot Grey had his mouth on, what seemed like hours ago.
He grips my face harder and I cry in pain. He holds my face up at his, his dark green eyes bore into mine horrifyingly.
"I wish you were dead," he says emotionlessly before pushing my face away harshly.
I catch sight of his face as he walks away. Slight regret coats his eyes but he doesn't do anything to help me.
It takes me a good twenty minutes but finally, I'm in my room.
I fall onto my bed in pure exhaustion.
The sound of glass plates and cups shattering reaches my ears. I place my earbuds in my ears, turning on my odd playlist of mixed music.