Chapter 41 Scared
? Azalea?
I rub my eyes with the back of my hand as I take out the keys to get into the mailbox of the complex.
Good Lord, Grey kept me up all night last night.
I pull open the box and go through the mail. Mostly they're all in Grey's name but there are a few magazines in my name.
I do a double-take when I see the University of Tennessee letter. I rush back to the apartment, walking as fast as my legs will let me.
I bust open the door like I'm in the S.W.A.T and Grey jumps spilling some of his coffee on the counter in front of me.
"Oh my gosh! Did I scare you?!" I smile happily. I can't believe I actually scared the unscareable.
"Ain't scared me," he grumbles unhappily, wiping the coffee from the counter. I place the mail on the counter beside him and then hold up the letter. His dark brown eyes trail over the envelope.
"I'm scared to open it," I tell him honestly. What if I don't get in? And if I do get in, I start so soon, a couple of weeks actually. That's terrifying to think about.
"Yeah well I'm scared to see your reaction once you realize you got in so let's get this over with," he motions for me to hurry the heck up. I open it carefully and slowly lower my eyes to the words.
Congratulations!
I fall to the ground and I start to cry.
Since I was little I always wanted to go to UTK and now I finally can. Now no one is stopping me, not dad. I feel Grey's body slide down onto the floor next to mine. He pulls me up onto his lap and hugs me tightly.
"I'm proud of you, Azalea," he wipes the tears from my cheeks, "you deserve this."
I sit up, wrapping my arms around his neck. I can't believe I've gotten so lucky. I have Grey and I'm going to college. This is everything I've ever wanted.
"Oh my gosh!" I pull away from him, "I need to tell Mr. Terrip! He's going to be siked!"
I throw my jacket off, hot from all the celebrating I've done in the past two minutes.
"Okay, I've got to go to work and do paperwork from the past two days," he kisses the top of my head.
"I'll come see you after talking to Mr. Terrip," we bid goodbye and I decide on taking a nice, calming bath to hopefully calm myself down from my hyper episode.
Before the bath though, I have a concert in the bathroom mirror. Then I stare at the letter while in the bathtub, effectively making the bath almost an hour long.
Once I'm out, I dress myself and decide on braiding my hair. Once I'm finished, I start the drive to the book store.
I get giddier and giddier just thinking about what his reaction is going to be. He's known for years that I've wanted to go to college.
I hold the letter tightly to my chest as I open the door. The bell rings over my head and a smile lights up my face.
He's not sitting at his desk so I figure he's somewhere hiding from me as he does sometimes.
Crazy old man.
"Mr. Terrip, come out of your hiding!" I call out, biting back a laugh when I picture him hiding behind a bookshelf.
I start walking around in search of him.
"Mr. Terrip, you sneaky old man, I have some exciting n-" I pause mid-sentence. My heart drops to my stomach. His frail figure lays on the ground in the back of the store, unmoving.
The letter in my hand drops to the floor and tears flood my eyes.
This can't be happening.
With shaky hands, I call 911. During the call, I struggle to maintain a calm voice. Once the call is over, I immediately call Grey. He answers within a second like always and I feel myself freaking out.
I don't know what to do.
He's not breathing.
"Hey, Lilah," he answers softly, "you on your way here?"
"Grey," I let a sob break my voice.
"Azalea? What's wrong?" I hear him start to freak out.
"It's Mr. Terrip," I hold the phone away from me as another sob shakes my chest.
"At the store? I'm coming baby," he speaks softly, "I'll be there in just a minute."
He hangs up and I'm left completely alone with my thoughts and just him.
"Mr. Terrip?" I bend down to his unmoving body, "please wake up."
I wipe the tears from my face, seeing that he has no reaction. I place my hand under his nose and he's still not breathing.
"Please, Mr. Terrip, you can't leave me too. You can't," I shake my head.
The only thing on Earth I want right now is for him so sit up and get mad at me for talking so much. I want him to talk to me about the new books that have just arrived and I want him to tease me for always going to get 'go-go juice' from the store down the street.
"God, please, don't take him away from me too, please," I close my eyes, praying as hard as I've ever done, hoping that it will work in the end.
I should've gotten here earlier.
The bell above the door rings loudly and multiple footsteps come running towards where I am. Strong hands grip onto my arms and I cry silently, not being able to take my eyes off of Mr. Terrip.
Jai and Roman lean down to Mr. Terrip, one of them pressing their fingers under his neck and the other checking for a head injury, I guess from when he fell.
Roman's face falls when he pulls his fingers away. That's when Jai moves to the side of Mr. Terrip, pressing his hands into his chest and pushing down in rhythmic moves.
I turn away from the sight, into Grey's chest and sob harder than I thought possible.
"We got him back," Jai rushes out as sirens begin to come closer. Relief floods my chest and I begin to calm even though I know this whole thing isn't over yet.
He was dead.
"It's okay, Lilah," Grey's hands rub up and down my back as he tries his best to comfort me.
~~~
I pace back and forth in the waiting room. Two hours and twelve minutes we've been here and we haven't heard a single thing. Grey leans up against the white wall beside me, watching as I pace back and forth.
"I'm scared, Sugar, I'm so scared," I feel my voice start to crack near the end. The guys went down to the Subway across the street to get food because the food here is just not okay. Abby's at work but she's coming as soon as she gets off.
"Come here," he opens his arms and I walk into them.
He tilts my chin up to him and with his thumbs, he wipes away the two little tears under my eyes.
"It's going to be okay," he tucks my hair behind my ears, pressing a kiss to my forehead. I take a deep breath to calm myself.
"Want to kiss mine too?" he questions and a little smile grows on my lips. I give him a nod and he bends down letting me kiss his forehead too.
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," I tell him honestly, laying my head onto his chest. I feel him intake a breath and his heart speeds up a bit.
"You just made my heart speed up and made my dick tingle all at once."
I shake my head at his brutal honesty.
"Miss Carson?" A woman dressed in scrubs calls out and Grey and I both turn to her.
"If y'all would follow me," she offers a smile and we follow her. She leads us into an isolated waiting room that looks like it's only made for a couple of people, not a big one like we were just in.
"A doctor will be with you in just a minute," she closes the door behind her and Grey and I are left alone with each other.
I grow even more worried but also more anxious. The last news I heard was good news, he was alive. I hope this news is as good.
We wait for a while. Why is there so much waiting?
"Let's play a game," I speak up, turning my body more towards Grey. He turns off his phone and looks at me.
"We say anything that comes to mind. But we can't repeat what the other person said and it has to be a real thing," I explain and he nods.
"Dingleberries," I start off.
"Azalea," he smirks.
"Mustaches," I continue.
"Azaleas," he tilts his head.
"Tennis shoes."
"Your ass."
"Ribbon."
"Your boobs."
"Perfume."
"Your legs," he places his hand on my thigh.
"Blankets."
"Your lips." Can he think of anything else?
"Umbrellas."
"Your eyes."
"Bear."
"Your other lips-"
"You better stop that!" I gasp and he smirks wider than ever. I can't do anything with him, I really can't.
I lay my head down on his shoulder, figuring it's probably best to refrain from playing these types of games with him.
A knock sounds on the door and I sit up, watching a middle-aged man in a white coat with a dress shirt and tie underneath enters the room. Grey and I stand to greet him.
"Hello, I'm Dr. David Adams," he gives us a nod.
"I'm Azalea," I shake his hand and Grey introduces himself, shaking his hand too. He takes a seat in the chair next to the couch Grey and I were sitting on and we sit back down.
"I'm the senior clinician here, and John Terrip's case was assigned to me," he explains and we nod, listening carefully.
"I'm afraid the news I'm here to tell you isn't good news," he begins gently. What does that mean? What kind of bad?
"John arrived here in cardiac arrest and we successfully resuscitated him. After testing, we determined he had a brain aneurysm which is what caused the initial stroke," he explains and I just feel my heart falling deeper and deeper.
"We took him to surgery as quickly as possible and did everything we could but unfortunately, he suffered bleeding to the brain from the ruptured aneurysm which led to the second stroke. I'm terribly sorry, but John died on the operating table."
I snap my head to Grey, wondering if he had heard the same thing I just had. I had to be hearing things.
Grey's eyes close and I watch as his jaw clenches harshly. He heard the same thing.
This can't be happening.
This is my fault too. If I wouldn't have thought about myself and my own excitement, I would've gotten to him sooner. None of this would have happened if I would have just stopped thinking about myself.
I rise my from my seat and dart out of the door in front of us.
I can't be in that room. It's too small. It's too filled with bad things, bad thoughts.
I run. I sort of run. I half jog out into the lobby of the hospital and I know I shouldn't run but I just want away from everything.
I hear Grey's deep voice shouting after me and I know he's going to end up following me.