Chapter 2
It was head shaving day. A week after Sally had gotten back and she still wasn’t making eye contact with any of us. I sat down next to her.
“I put some extra cheese hidden in the back of the fridge where you can get it if you do kitchen duty tomorrow.” I squeezed her knee. “I thought you might like that.”
She met my gaze. The first time in a week. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Oates stood by the door, and a Ms. Jerald stood with the buzz cutter ready to dish out the act on all of us.
“How long does this take? It’s my first time.”
Sally touched her dark hair, what was left of it before she would lose almost all of it. “It’s fast. Did you love or hate having red hair?”
I blinked. Wow. She was actually talking. “I felt benign about it truthfully. I… I hated the frizz.”
“Well, no chance of that now.”
That was true. Maybe there was a small pro to this hell.
Frizzless existence. We had three twelve-year-olds with us now.
Two of them cried in the front of the room.
They’d both made it through solitary but still had tears to shed.
That was kind of beautiful actually. Maybe they weren’t as broken as the rest of us.
“Will you still be my friend when this is over? I mean, I leave a month before you. I’ll wait for you somewhere out there on this island wherever we are.
And, we can go somewhere together. Some place quiet.
I’m a constant problem. I know it. I do it to myself.
But I would like to be with you. And then Betsy can come.
And Casey and Dora. We can go make a life somewhere. ”
I nodded. “Yes. Wait for me and I’ll find you. Okay? You’re not a problem. You’re just human. We all are. Of course I’ll still be your friend.”
“Good.” She nodded and put her head on her knees.
Betsy sat on my other side. “Here we go.”
One of the twelve-year-olds was brought up.
She was new. I didn’t even know her name, but they shoved her in a chair, and when they were going to shave her, she screamed.
It was a gut-wrenching sound. I’d give her credit.
Small she might be, but she was tough. She threw herself over.
The girl wasn’t going to give in without a fight. They smacked her hard.
I jumped to my feet.
“Alatheia.” Sally tugged on me, but I couldn’t hear her right then.
Who went around hitting twelve-year-olds? “She’s scared,” I shouted. “Don’t do that to her. Don’t hit her.” I stormed forward. “She’s frightened.”
I was yanked back by two of the teachers as they managed to get the twelve-year-old—I really needed to learn her name—back into the chair. Oates stared at me; she almost looked bored.
“Take her to the clinic.”
I kicked one of the women holding me. I had never been violent, but maybe they needed a touch of their own medicine. I got her right in the shin.
That made the other one yank me harder out of the room and away from everyone. We rushed down the hall, and before they strapped me to the table, the one I had kicked—Mrs. Rowing—smacked me hard. So hard I tasted blood in my mouth.
Once. Then twice. Oates came into the room. “Give me the dose.”
I spit blood out of my mouth as I stared at her. I’d had no warning I was about to crack up, but here it was. “You are a sick, twisted, sadistic bitch.”
“You can call me all the names you want to, Ms. Winder, but no one in the world cares about you. And the only time you will ever see anyone who might is when you are dead.”
With that statement she jabbed a needle in my arm. I would think by now that wouldn’t hurt, but it did. The medicine burned. Oh, this was the bad one. The really bad one.
“You’re not a hero. You’re nothing.”
Time passed. I was pretty sure.
I was alone in the dark. In solitary you had to earn the right to have them open the window shade. It was closed. I had no idea if it was day or night. And that was okay because I could hardly think at all anyway.
I hummed to myself, a nonsense song that wasn’t real.
Hadn’t Barrett Lent played the piano a lot in the apartment?
I’d loved that. The background noise of our life.
He loved music. Jazz clubs. Wanted to support music.
Hadn’t he had a test the last day? How had it gone?
I never got a final look at him. He had been grumpy that morning, barely spoken to me.
I couldn’t blame him. College exams were hard.
Or I hadn’t blamed him then. I could now.
Did I want to? Maybe a little. But that was so unfair.
He had no crystal ball to tell him we would never see each other again.
You got to be grumpy with people that you loved.
We had been that. Now I couldn’t feel love. I couldn’t feel anything.
Just a vast emptiness filling me and becoming me. I wouldn’t help that twelve-year-old now. Why bother? She would probably just end up in here anyway.
My mind drifted. Each of the Lent brothers moved through my vision like they were saying goodbye. I wouldn’t see them again. Not until I was dead.
Not that my goodbyes with the other three had been wonderful.
Phoenix was out of it and horrified. Jeremy and Julian had been shouting at me from behind where the police had put them.
I’d told all three of them I loved them.
I had. That was why this had happened to me.
I’d known not to say it. Breaking that rule had landed me here.
I didn’t get to love people or be loved.
I hummed and closed my eyes.
Time passed. I had no idea how much. They didn’t open my window. But I heard noises. Male voices talking sternly. A woman sounding downright hysterical outside of my door. I tried and failed to lift my head. I’d had my bathroom break already. What was happening? There were no men here. Not ever.
“Open it now.” I didn’t know that voice. So I closed my eyes. Whatever was happening was not my concern.
Light burst into the room even getting through my closed lids. I lifted my head. What was happening? I raised my shaking hand to try to block it out.
“This her?” That voice I didn’t know spoke again.
I was surrounded on all sides. Everyone was speaking. I knew the voices, maybe, but I couldn’t see. I pushed my head back down on my knees. It had to stop. It just hurt too much.
“Stop. It’s an assault on her senses.” Someone spoke. Another man. Did I know that voice?
“Alatheia, can you hear me?” There was a pause.
“Eric?” Someone asked. Why was everyone speaking so loudly?
“Barrett, get her out of here. Come on. We’re leaving.”
A woman was screaming. I knew her. That was Oates. I was lifted, and my head flopped forward onto the chest of whoever was carrying me.
“Got her?” A hand touched my arm. “Because I can carry her.”
“Jules, I’ve got her. Move. I want her out of here.”
The shrieking Oates again. “You can’t take her. We are her guardians here, given the right by her family.”
“They don’t have custody of her anymore.” A new voice spoke. “You have the paperwork. Now move, or I’ll make you move.”
There were so many people here. Ten? Eleven? Twelve? Everyone was blurry.
“You see, Commissioner, what they are doing here. Surely you can’t be okay with this happening on your island.
What would the press say?” The voices were following us when we moved.
“I want this closed. I would think you would too. These children sent home immediately. The abuse here is abhorrent. Close it and you’ll get the money for the casinos from my personal investment fund. Don’t and you won’t see a dime.”
The commissioner must have been the one to have had my door opened. He was big. That was all I could see. “Yes, Stephen. I agree. Yes.”
“Alatheia. ” Sally’s voice. Then Betsy’s. “Where are they taking her?”
I reached for them. But it was all too much. My eyes closed. I was just supposed to feel nothing right now. Just nothing.
A cool washcloth touched my forehead. “Easy. Too much will be jarring.” It was a female voice who spoke this time. It was hard to hear over the rumble of a very loud engine. “You’re okay now, Alatheia. You’re with us and you’re safe.”
Safe? What was that?
“So it really was just as bad as we feared? ” someone asked. I knew these voices. Didn’t I?
“Worse,” another answered. “Let her sleep. It’s what she needs. Right now, that’s what she needs.”
I’d listen to whoever that was because it was all I could do anyway. But first I had to ask someone in the room a question. They needed to tell me. Whoever they all were. With my eyes still shut, I managed to speak. “Am I dead?”
A hand came down on my forehead as gasps sounded. “No, Princess, you’re not dead. I promise you’re not dead.”
I wanted to believe him.
I woke up to a beeping noise and kind of a whoosh sound to go with it. My head was clear, but it pounded. There was bright light and much as I wanted to avoid it I really couldn’t. Something was poking into my hand.
I lifted my head. This was… a hospital room? The walls were white but with paintings on them that were of various cheerful landscapes. I tried to sit up when a woman came walking into the room. I didn’t recognize her, but she wore white and purple.
Her eyes widened. “Oh good. You’re up. I was just coming to change your IV. That’ll make the beeping stop.” She was really cheery. How was that possible? Everything was dark and awful in the world. An IV? I looked. Oh yes, that was in my arm. “Give me a second.”
I stared at her. “What’s happening?”
“Hello, dear, you’re bound to be confused. Here, one second.” She fiddled with the IV bag and then quickly changed it out. “Let’s sit you up, too. And you’re nice and hydrated now, but you must be thirsty, so one more second.”