Chapter 3
Iwoke up to find Jeremy sitting on the edge of my bed. I stared at him. I was tired but I was… okay. I didn’t want to puke. I wasn’t itching. My head was only mildly pounding. All in all, I hurt but I was… okay.
“Well, the good news, Princess, is that you have a great shape to your head. I mean I wouldn’t necessarily have said shave your hair off, but we can all see now that you don’t have a weirdly shaped head under your hair.”
That shouldn’t have been funny. But it was. I covered my mouth, startled when I laughed. I hadn’t expected it. His words, they were just funny.
“There’s my girl.” He tugged me to him in a tight hug. “There you are. It’s going to be okay, Princess. I promise.”
He smelled familiar. I closed my eyes and breathed. It was a nice moment, so it was terrible that I was going to ruin it. “Don’t make me promises.”
Jer put his head on top of my apparently nicely-shaped scalp. “Why not?”
“Because they don’t get kept. Better if they aren’t made.”
I expected him to rear back and yell at me.
That would be appropriate but instead he just held on.
“Because I promised you that you’d never be taken against your will.
And you were. We all promised you that we’d go wherever you went.
It took months. So, yes, I get it. You have no reason to think that any promises I made or will make can be kept.
But, look at it this way, I couldn’t be sicker over it, and I can only get better from here. ”
I was the one to pull back. Jer’s eyes were so tired, his blond hair the longest I had ever seen it. I met his gaze. “I don’t want you to be sick over it.”
“Well, I am.” He took my hand.
A thought dawned on me. “I must really stink. I puked earlier.”
“You want to shower? I think they’ll let you do that. You don’t stink. Are you hungry?”
My stomach made a noise. “I am.”
“Good. I’ll tell them and I’ll ask them about showering.” He got up. “Good to see you so alert. You had a rough night, Phoenix and Barrett told me. We rotate about every six hours. Or so.”
I blinked. “Did I?”
“Yes. But maybe it’s a blessing you’re not holding onto memories right now that well. Be right back.”
Was it? I put my head on my knee. Yes, I liked it here. Right on my knee. It really worked here.
“Okay.” He came back and I was forced to lift my head. “Food is coming, and they say you can shower if I stay in there with you just in case you get dizzy. Okay? The shower is going to take a lot out of you. That is what Kirk says.”
I tilted my head. “Sure. I mean, if you’re comfortable with that.”
“I am. If you are.” He lifted an eyebrow. “This is about you.”
I rubbed at my face. “Can we talk after? I need to know what happened.”
Jer put out his hand and helped me off the bed. “Yes, of course. If you are able to stay awake, we’ll talk. If not, you can talk to whoever you want, whenever you want. Not that any of them can match my level of discourse—or my incredible sense of humor.”
I laughed, coming to my feet and pressing my head into his arm while the world righted. “I’m okay.”
“Yeah? You sure? ”
I nodded. “Yes.” We walked slowly to the bathroom. “I can’t believe how weak I am. I’d have been expected to get up and work when my punishment was over. I couldn’t be weak.”
“This is because of the detoxing. I think. If they’d kept you on the drugs, who knows what you’d be like. I don’t know.”
Detoxing. It was strange to think about. “Funny, you know I’ve never taken drugs on purpose. But I have to withdraw or whatever.”
“I do know.” He let go of me when he turned on the water and then stepped back. “There are clothes in the drawers. I’ll stand back here and wait for you. But I’ll just listen and keep an eye if you need me.”
I realized there was something I hadn’t said yet. “Thank you. For coming to get me. And now this is all a lot of hassle. You should be in school. It’s February. How are you here?”
“Shower. Then we’ll talk details. And I love you. Please don’t thank me. It took too long. So long.”
I dropped the gown I was wearing and got under the spray.
For a second I just closed my eyes and relished the water hitting my body.
We’d had to group shower. For the last four months I’d never been alone in a bathroom.
Jer was here but not right next to me. This was a luxury.
But soon the fact that I was upright was too much.
I’d managed to wash my head where my hair should be and my face, then most of my body before I sunk to the floor.
“I think I need help.”
“Here.” Jeremy flung the curtain open and then turned off the water. “I’ve got you. Don’t worry.” He lifted me up like it was nothing and then wrapped me in a big towel. With one hand, he grabbed something from the drawer and carried me over to the bed.
“You’re making this seem like it’s nothing when I have to be heavy.”
“You’ve lost so much weight it is nothing. It would always have been nothing. I am mad strong, Princess.” He winked at me, which made me smile. In one second, he pulled a nightie over my head. That must have been what he’d grabbed. I looked at it.
“It’s mine.”
He nodded. “Sure, we brought your stuff.”
I was no sooner clothed than the nurse showed up with food, which she set in front of me. It was a rice dish, and it actually smelled really nice. There was apple juice with it and a dessert that looked like it was chocolate.
She was stern when she spoke. “Of course they gave you the good stuff. Don’t go too quickly and you don’t have to eat all of it.”
“I remember you.” Jeremy regarded her. “You’re the one who was so judgy of my brother. How did you get in here? I think it was pretty clear you are supposed to stay away from the Lents.”
She snorted. “The Lents. Oh yes, the right-side-of-the-lake Lents. She’s not a Lent.”
No, I wasn’t. And I never had been. The stern-faced woman strode out, leaving me with my dinner. I sighed. Some of my earlier okayness fled. I hadn’t been overly happy, but it was better than this.
I took a bite, then a second one. I could hardly taste it. Jer reached over and opened my juice.
“Sorry about that. She’s such a bitch.” He shook his head. “She was terrible to Phoenix. I mean really bad, and he was just taking it when we found out. Eric banned her from us. I’ll get her away from you.”
I shrugged. “It’s fine. She’s right. I’m not a Lent. I can’t imagine what this is costing all of you. In time and money and…”
He kissed my temple. “You’re a Lent in everything but name. You’ll be one, and I know you’re not okay, so we aren’t going to do any of this just yet. But you are ours. As much as you always have been. Maybe more.”
I would have asked him why, but after sipping my juice and taking one bite of the flourless cake, I was done. Gently, I pushed the tray away and lay back in the bed.
“Still want to talk?”
I shook my head. “I want to sleep. I think.”
He put his cool hand on my forehead. “You can sleep. You should sleep.”
“I’m hurting.”
That made him run out the door again. “She’ll take ten times as long as she should, but she’ll bring you some meds in a second.”
“Thank you.” I did want to ask him something. “Are they okay? The girls? That I was with? Are they okay?”
He sat down next to me. “They’re not there anymore. The place was shut down. Of course the government knew about it, but they are pretending they didn’t. It’s in the island’s financial benefit to do that. Stephen is throwing money at the island. He stayed to make sure it got done.”
I shook my head. “That’s interesting, but the girls?”
“Have all been sent home.”
I closed my eyes. For some of them that was going to be really bad. But why was I surprised? We were all at the mercy of others. All the time. I drifted off. It was okay if she didn’t bring me pain meds. I would just go back to… nothingness.
The bed dipped as Jeremy stretched out beside me. “I’m not supposed to do this. I’ll probably get shit for it, but I need to hold you.”
I lifted my lids. He did? That was more than okay with me. I rolled onto him, the motion feeling familiar, like something we’d done a hundred times before. “Don’t let her make you move.”
“She can’t make me do anything.” He ran a hand over the back of my scalp. “She’s only not fired because Eric is patient. We own more than fifty percent of the clinic. We built it.”
I smiled. “Well, you paid someone to do it, right? You didn’t wield a hammer?”
He snorted. “No, good call. I did not.”
I sighed. “The girls aren’t going to be okay. They’re going back to the places that sent them there. Maybe they’ll be sent to other places. It would be like sending me back to my family.” In fact, my heart rate kicked up. “Do I have to go back to them?”
“No.” He kissed my temple. “You aren’t going back.
Ever. Kit found your other family. Your father’s family.
They’re problematic but not sending you there.
His associate went to court and argued child abuse.
You are now theirs. And things are going badly for your family.
But we don’t need to talk about that now.
I know you have a million questions. You should.
I’m sorry about your friends. So sorry.”
I did have a million questions, but it was like there were too many. It overshot my head. My father’s family? Who were they? Where were they? My lids closed. This time it was hearing Jeremy’s heartbeat against my ear. It was peaceful. Familiar. It said that for tonight I was okay.
I dreamed.
My mother and I were sitting outside our trailer. She was drinking a Coke, and I was sipping lemonade. It was lovely outside. Cool but not too cold yet.
“Why don’t we have any family?” I kicked the dirt, and the smile on her face faded. I’d made her sad. I hated making her sad.
“We have family. I think everyone probably has some family. Maybe not. I am sure there are some people with no family. Anyway, I get what you’re asking. We have family but we don’t see them.”