Chapter 8 #2
He lifted his head. “That’s a pretty big revelation for not having done any work yet.” His smile was huge. “You’re going to be better at therapy than me.”
“Are we competing?”
He lifted me up, which surprised me, so I squeaked.
“No. I want you better than me. I want everything better in the world for you. I have some deep questions to ask you but not now. I want to nap. If I open that door, neither of us are going to get any sleep.” He grabbed his phone and set an alarm.
“We should be up an hour before dinner or we’ll both be groggy at the table and even though I can acknowledge they mean well, I like to be sharp with my family around. The parents are a mine-trap for me.”
I kicked off my shoes and he did the same. He pulled off his pants and I did too, both of us now pantless. He stared at me for a second, tilting his head. Usually, I didn’t do that. He knew it and so did I. When he pulled off his shirt, I did as well. My heart raced but I was sure of it.
“How about a little more skin-to-skin for this nap?” I swallowed through the lump in my throat. “Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m in pain and kind of bleeding right now. I’m not suggesting we do anything different. Just do it with our skin touching each other. Or just sleep. Whatever.
He stared at me from where I was on the bed, and without speaking, covered us both in his heavy quilt. “I love that you want this. Come here. Closer. My chest against yours. I love your skin. Your pale, porcelain skin.”
“Have you missed all the freckles?”
He laughed. “Some day when you’re older I am going to have you naked, and you are going to let me count them.”
Ooh. That was… exciting. “Is that really what you’re going to want to do with me when you have me naked?”
“You like the idea.” He grinned; his eyes were blazing with interest. “It’ll be one of the things.
” He wrapped an arm over me, the other under his head and I did the same to him.
With our foreheads pressed together, we were practically breathing the same air.
I loved it and I didn’t think I’d be able to close my eyes but when he did, I did.
He wasn’t asleep yet because he moved his arm to stroke my back with his index finger.
I shivered. I let myself stroke his abs.
A peek told me we both still had our eyes closed.
He took deep breaths, and because I was so close to him, I could absolutely feel what it did to him right then. In seconds, he was hard.
Phoenix had told me once he liked to be, because it told him what someday would be. I had been shoved into a place where they were going to kill me. Did I really want to count on someday? What if they had done that to me and I’d never ever had this moment?
It was enough to make me crazy, like the idea of his brothers dying in his stead did for him. No, I didn’t want to think about that right now.
But I needed his consent. That meant I had to be brave. I opened my eyes. “Can I touch you?”
He lifted his own. “Unless I’m already dreaming or delirious, you already are.” His smile was slow. “And I fucking love it.”
“I know. I can feel that. I mean, can I touch you there? On your… dick?” I managed to get the word out.
That was a win even if he said no. Alatheia successfully used the word dick and didn’t call it something weird to cover up.
Win for Alatheia. Oh boy. I was thinking about myself in the third person.
He lifted his eyebrows. “Alatheia, you practically choked saying that. You don’t have to be obligated…”
I interrupted him. “Not obligated. More like… really interested. Yes, I know I’m ridiculous with the word. Unless you don’t want me to?”
He cleared his throat. “Oh, I want you to. I can’t reciprocate right now. That’s going to bother me.”
“Bother you so much you’re saying no?” I continued to stroke his chest.
“No. I’m not saying no. If you want to. As much or as little as you want or not at all. Feel free to stop anytime.”
I smiled. “You are so careful with me. I don’t break. At least not so far.”
Phoenix kissed me. “Frankly it’s shocking to me you want me at all after what happened. But, you seem to have held no anger for me. I love you. Yes, please, touch me, Red, as much as you want. I may come in your hand really quickly.”
Well… that would really be something. What would that be like?
I tugged at his boxer briefs, and he ended up helping me get them down.
There he was. Hard, big, thick, and obviously very aware of me.
I’d felt erections a lot now when they bumped into me but never actually seen a penis before. It was sort of… beautiful.
An actual physical response to show me how much he desired me.
I took him in my hand, starting at the bottom, and he hissed in his breath. Phoenix seemed to shake for a second before he kissed me hard, his hands coming around my back to hold onto me tightly. I kissed him back but concentrated on running my hand over his skin, finally getting to the top.
He stopped kissing me to moan, his eyes closing. Okay. So he liked that. I did the whole thing again. “Am I doing it how you like it?”
“Anything your sweet hand does to me there, Alatheia, I like.”
Okay, but that didn’t tell me anything. “How do you like it?”
He took my hand in his. “You can grip me harder.” He put our joined hands on his cock—easier to think that word than say it.
“And when you get to the top, cup me there for just a few seconds. If you want to, you can also play with my balls. Or don’t do any of it because I think I might be delirious in a second and there is nothing you can do I won’t like. I promise.”
People put their mouths on it. This much I knew. I didn’t think I was ready. I would need to be braver. It wasn’t about them; it was about me.
I did as he instructed, up and down the way he wanted, increasing the pressure each time. When I could, I squeezed his balls. He kissed and kissed me. His sighs and moans would come right into my mouth, like I got to taste them.
Inside, I got heated. No, I couldn’t do anything right now, but boy did I want to. I squirmed, and he pulled me closer, running his hands on my stomach now, coming close to my waist but not under it. My breasts ached, my nipples were hard against my bra, which we hadn’t taken off.
I smiled against his lips. “I love this, and I love you.”
As I spoke, he jerked, a sigh releasing from his mouth that almost sounded like an ache. He came in my hand. Oh wow. It was warm, a little bit sticky, and it went on longer than I would have imagined it would.
He closed his eyes tightly, our foreheads pressed together. I didn’t stop my strokes, and he moaned toward the end. “Thank you. I love you so fucking much.”
“I love you, too.”
He kissed me, once, twice, a third time. “When you’re feeling better, if you’re ready, I am going to make you feel how you just made me feel. Over and over again.”
I smiled at him. “This made me feel good, too. Giving you pleasure?”
“You’re like an angel I imagined.” Phoenix pulled away from me, getting up to go into his bathroom.
He came back, wiping himself with one towel and handed me another.
I cleaned up my hand and he took both towels and put them in the laundry.
“Come on. Let’s nap in the other bed.” He yawned. “I may think I dreamed this.”
He put his underwear back on.
Oh, yes that made sense. We’d kind of made a mess in this bed. I grinned. Things I’d never thought about when I pictured this kind of thing. I got up and he scooped me up, putting me in the other bed.
I giggled, which he must have liked because he kissed my lips over and over. “You never cease to be a miracle. I kept saying that when you were gone. That I had lost my miracle. The doctors didn’t argue. Everyone here has a miracle in their lives, but none are as amazing as you.”
I wasn’t even sure what to say to that. A miracle?
I really didn’t feel that way. I still had my cap on that I’d shoved on outside.
I hadn’t even thought about it, but Phoenix took it off my head.
“Wasn’t going to bring that up earlier but unless you’re cold, keep it off.
You don’t need to walk around like you have something to hide. ”
He put it between us. “Pretty sure I’m going to disagree with you and wear it a lot.”
“Okay. You’re right, of course. I just hate that you think that you have to.” He winced. “Getting bossy?”
We were wrapped back up with each other, and I was too tired to care that he had gotten that way. “You’re forgiven.”
“Thank you.” Our foreheads touched the way that they had been before. This time when our eyes closed, I drifted off easily. I was comfortable, warm, and able to ignore the cramping that was happening. I was just happy to care. That had just happened.
I woke to the alarm which I rolled over to turn off but Phoenix didn’t. He was silent and out cold. I ran my hand through his hair. It was soft and a little bit longer than I remembered it from before I was taken.
His eyes opened a little bit into slits. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, time for us to get up.”
He sat up with a groan. “Sorry, I didn’t hear it. You knocked me right out, hard. I slept like it was night.” He rolled me under him and kissed me all over my face. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” He had said he wanted to have a hard conversation. Did he want to do that now?
It didn’t seem he did because he got busy kissing me for a long moment.
A knock sounded. “Hey, I heard talking. You two up?” It was Barrett.
Phoenix lifted his head. “I think I’ve taken my max of Alatheia alone time for the day.” He rolled off of me and grabbed my shirt which he handed to me. I hadn’t even thought about it.
“Just a second, Barrett,” he answered, putting his pants back on. Okay. We were covered. I didn’t mind Barrett seeing me that way, but it was nice of Phoenix to think of it. Barrett came in and sat on the end of the bed.
“Is this a precedent? We nap in our individual rooms?” He smiled at us. “It’s a good idea, actually.”
Phoenix yawned. “Thanks.”
“What’s the matter?” There was a heaviness to Barrett that I hadn’t seen earlier.
He held out his phone so Barrett and I could see. It was an unknown number. I didn’t even recognize the area code. A text was visible. She’s better now. Take her home and leave. Before something bad happens to your family. Again.
I gasped, but Phoenix didn’t. He stared at it, hard, and then looked up at his brother. “You got this an hour ago?”
“We thought it best not to wake you until you were up. Both of you are recovering. Dads know. Eric wants to load us all up and leave. Like maybe leave the country. But Kit says that’s a bad idea.
We can’t be run out of town by some text message.
Except of course because of what happened to you, Brother. ”
Phoenix shook his head. “We don’t even know that it’s the same person. It might very well be someone just pressing on a sensitive spot they know we have. But give it to me. I can try to track it. Maybe I can. Tell the parents I’m skipping dinner to do that.”
“No.” I usually just let them make decisions. But I didn’t like that. “Come with us. This is bigger than you’re making it, and I want you with us tonight. So you remember that we love you and you’re not alone.”
Phoenix stared at me. “I love you. Okay. I’ll do that.”
Later he could find this person. Later tonight.