Chapter 14
“You really must love me.”
He shook his head. “I do, but I’m not lying.”
Like I had dropped the robe, Jeremy pulled off his clothes. We were completely naked in front of each other. Well, this had been my idea. Jeremy was beautiful. I knew he would be. And it occurred to me what I looked like right then.
I swallowed. “Pretty beat up.”
“Beautiful.” He took my hand and brought it to his mouth to kiss me. “You’re stunningly beautiful. But we can stop right now if that’s what you want.”
I shook my head. “No, I want this. I just got nervous. I guess both things are possible.”
“Very possible. Because that’s just how I’m feeling, too.”
He was? This was Jeremy. He was something of a legend at Pullman for how much he hooked up. I couldn’t imagine he was actually nervous. “Sweet of you to say that.”
“You think it’s not true?” He kissed both my cheeks before he placed his hand over his heart. “Feel that?”
It was racing. I smiled at him. “So I guess you’re telling the truth.”
He nodded. “I don’t lie to you.”
Jeremy drew me to him, our skin touching. We stepped into the shower together. It was a little bit warmer than I usually had it when I wasn’t freaking out, but it was good enough.
He looked at the floor for a second. “I’ve never done this before.” He held up his hand. “Showered. With someone else. Unless maybe when I was little. And this is different, obviously. I’m rambling.”
Jeremy totally was. It was so not like him.
I kissed him and he kissed me back, hard.
Yes, this was so much more Jeremy. I wrapped my arms around his neck and the water covered our bodies.
Soon, we were both soaked. And he was hard.
But he made no moves to do anything but kiss me.
I was warm and it wasn’t because of the water.
I pulled back to grab the soap and poured some from the bottle onto my hand. I smelled it. “I wasn’t thinking, but I’m going to get to smell like you for the rest of the day.” This was where he got the sandalwood scent that was always on him.
He blinked rapidly. “You like the way I smell?”
“Yes I do.” I kissed him as I soaped him up. He grabbed the bottle and then did the same to me.
We were quiet about it. There was almost a reverence to this moment.
Maybe he understood what was dawning on me—we’d only have a first time doing this once.
After this, it would be fun when we did it again, something to look forward to with anticipation, but there was only one first time for this.
Every move I made would be repeated someday but not discovered like it was right now.
There was every possibility I was overthinking it.
“Okay if I touch you?” I whispered in his ear, keeping it reverent.
He nodded, kissing my neck. “Sure. Assume consent with me, okay? The answer is yes to whatever you’re wanting to do. But I’m not going to touch you until I have you on the bed. That’s where I’m going to make you feel so good, Princess.”
Actually, that sounded better than right here under the water. There was something sort of sacred about being wrapped up in the bed together. Here, it was like we could feel each other, but the water was slick and might actually make me anxious.
He kissed my shoulder as I took him in my hand. He moaned, a long sound. “Fuck. I knew it would be intense, but even I didn’t imagine what having you touch me there would do to me.”
I wasn’t sure what to say, so I said nothing at all. This was Jeremy. As I was always being reminded, he had plenty of experience with this. I ran my hand over his cock like I had learned to do and squeezed him. “You’ll tell me if the pressure isn’t right.”
In response he put his forehead on my shoulder.
His breathing was shallow, and he didn’t answer me.
Pressed against me, I could feel how his whole body was tense.
He was beautiful like this. Who was I kidding?
Jer was always gorgeous but right in this second he was only mine to see, and the effect was stunning.
I kissed his cheek, breathing him in while he lengthened in my hand. His moans almost sounded pained, and his hold on me tightened. We stayed like that for a while, me stroking him as he breathed in my ear, letting out sounds that I knew would always be personal between us.
Finally, I whispered in his ear. “I love you.”
His whole body jerked, and he came hard in my hand. He didn’t move except to hold me tighter and shake against me.
Finally, he lifted his head as I put my hand under the water to wash it off. “I fucking love you, too.”
He kissed me. Again. And Again. Usually I could keep up. Not this time. My head spun and he picked me up in his arms, wrapping us both in a towel before he carried us over to his bed.
His mouth claimed mine again. Finally, he lifted his head, still breathing rapidly. “I’ve never come that hard. I mean never.” He kissed the end of my nose. “My turn.”
I swallowed. “Just got a little bit nervous.”
“This is your show. Always. But there is no reason to be nervous. I’m going to take such good care of you.”
That made sense. I nodded. “Okay.”
Jeremy unwrapped the towel around us like he was unwrapping a present. He grinned at me. “I love everything about your body. I want to memorize it. You’re just giving me a new way to learn you tonight.”
I supposed that made sense. I had just learned things about him I hadn’t known, like what it sounded like when he came.
“There isn’t pressure,” he whispered in my ear. “Just let me love on you for a little while.”
He kissed down my body, starting with my mouth and then traveled lower to my neck.
I shivered at his attention. I did love to be kissed there.
It made me warm inside. I guessed I had a spot.
As he did this, he grabbed my knee, gently, and pulled it up just a little bit so that I wrapped my leg around his ass.
It was a different position, but considering how heated his kisses were making me I couldn’t complain. I actually really liked it.
With my leg where he wanted it, he took to running his hands up and down the side of my body. This time I trembled. He really wasn’t doing anything but kissing and touching me. I was really, really turned on. Or maybe I just wanted these moments more than I could have imagined.
He traveled down my body again, stopping at my breasts. This time he lifted his gaze to meet my own. “Have I ever told you how much I love your breasts?”
I shook my head. “Not specifically, I don’t think.”
“I do, Princess. I do love them so much.”
I swallowed. “Have I ever told you how much I love it when you call me that?”
“You’re my princess. What else would I call you?”
I loved the glint in his eyes.
He took my nipple in his mouth, and I cried out. The pinch of pain startled me, and somehow I loved it too. Jeremy sighed, a long sound.
I was so distracted by his ministrations that I didn’t notice when he pressed a finger inside of me. But there it was, Jeremy Lent was right where I had wanted him to go and where I had been terrified he would.
He sucked harder, still stroking my side with one hand and pressing his finger against the spot that sometimes throbbed for a second when I was pressed close to them or they kissed me a lot.
I knew what it meant and so did Jeremy because he started to stroke it. Slowly and then he picked up the pace.
I caught my breath. The heat that had been there had turned into pressure. I closed my eyes, understanding now why Jer had pushed his head into my shoulder. I did the same to him. It was almost too much to handle if I wasn’t right up against him. I needed his skin on my lips, to smell his scent.
I almost told him to stop. What was I supposed to do with this? How was it going to end in any way that could actually happen? I wasn’t even making sense in my own mind. I just knew that I needed… something.
Finally, I just exploded. Right there on his fingers while he made love to my breasts with his mouth. I cried out and he lifted his head but only to kiss me, again and again, on my mouth while I gave into what he had done.
My heart raced and my body arched off the bed, bumping into his. We were tangled up in each other when he stopped stroking me.
“Beautiful.” He kissed me again. “You’re so fucking perfect.”
I didn’t know about that. I just knew that tears leaked from my eyes, and he kissed them away, not seeming to be freaked out or concerned by them. Instead, he slowed down, our embraces getting longer and more languid as the minutes ticked on.
I’d had no idea it would feel like that. I held him to me. My head didn’t quite want to turn back on. But the sadness that was always with me these days seeped in, despite my wishing it wouldn’t.
“We… we almost didn’t get to do this together. If you hadn’t found me. I’d never have known.”
He smoothed a hand over my forehead. “I know. It was always going to be everything when we did this kind of thing together. But it’s even more so. It’s everything. Made even more sacred because I almost lost you.”
How did Jeremy always know the right thing to say?
That was the last thing I thought before the day just turned off for me for a while.
A knock on the door roused me sometime later. The sun must be setting. I could see the light through the window had changed color. Jeremy lifted his head and then kissed my cheek, pulling the sheet up over me that we must have kicked off. I so rarely needed blankets. The Lents were heated enough.
“Sorry,” he whispered. “Stay right there.”
I rubbed my eyes. “No. I should get up. We’re sleeping the whole day away.”
“I think we both need it.” He grabbed his underwear from the bathroom, calling toward the door. “Just a second.”
“Sorry.” It was Phoenix on the other end. “I’ve tried to be patient, but she was attacked and I haven’t gotten to see her. I really… I really need to see that Alatheia is okay.”
Jeremy nodded, not that Phoenix could see that, and swung open the door.