9. Heartbreak
9
Heartbreak
Daisy
As I approach the firehouse, I feel a little out of place. Was I right to come here? After all, I don’t exactly know Evan. He might have made the invitation purely out of politeness. If Asher feels so strongly about his brother, maybe the feeling is mutual.
I draw a deep breath. No, it’s fine. He’s a civil servant, and I’m here to congratulate and support him. That’s what good citizens do. Plus, I won’t let anyone forbid me from doing something ever again. It’s a promise I made to myself when I left Todd.
Still, this ceremony seems a lot more intimate than I expected. About thirty chairs face a small platform in front of the firehouse.
Just as I’m debating whether to leave, Evan spots me. He’s wearing a dark-blue dress uniform with a matching hat, looking very ceremonial—and handsome.
“Hey, Daisy,” he says, the corners of his eyes crinkling with a smile. “You came. Thank you.”
I adjust the strap of my bag on my shoulder. “I didn’t know it would be such an intimate affair. Maybe—”
“Not at all. You’re more than welcome to stay.”
I twist my mouth, stealing a glance behind me in hopes that Asher will magically appear. But alas.
“My brother is a no-show, huh?” His shoulders drop a few inches.
“Sorry. I didn’t know about your rocky relationship. I shouldn’t have said we’d come.”
“It’s fine,” he sighs, though I doubt he truly believes that. He’s hurt, and I can’t help but feel somewhat responsible. “It was a long shot. He’s been refusing to talk to me for years, but bumping into him . . . I thought it was worth a try. I was naive to think you could convince him. People say I’m a hothead, but they haven’t met my brother.”
I chuckle-wince—yes, it’s a t hing. “I wish I could have helped. What he said was true. He is here for work, and I’ve actually only known him a few days. I’m sorry I got your hopes up.”
He flashes a big smile. “Don’t worry about it.”
I peek over my shoulder, trying to brainstorm another escape plan, but he places his hand on my shoulder. “Stay, Daisy. You’re already here. I promise you, it’s a public event.” He looks at the small gathering. “There just aren’t that many people who care about firefighters,” he jokes. “Plus, we don’t exactly shout it from the rooftops. Anyway, it’s my brother’s loss, because we have some great food for after the ceremony.”
I offer a small smile. “Okay.”
We approach the seating area, and I choose the last folding chair in the back row. I hook my bag to the chair back, and within minutes, the ceremony starts. First, Evan’s chief briefly introduces him, elaborating how he started his CFD career and that he quickly became an important member of the firehouse. He speaks like a father would of his son, and they both have teary eyes. Then, he talks more specifically about the heroic save Evan’s being honored for.
Another reason why I shouldn’t have come? I can't contain my tears when faced with so much emotion and such raw displays of affection. It doesn't matter if I know the people or not. I'll get all teary ei ther way. A video about a war hero coming home? I’ll sob like a baby. Two sisters who were separated at birth, finding each other years later? Banshee eyes. A husband finding out his wife is pregnant? Yup. That’ll do it.
I turn to grab a tissue from my bag when something catches my attention. Or rather, someone.
Leaning against the wall of a nearby building is Asher Forbes.
Asher
I don’t know why I’m here. After deliberating all night about whether I should come, I was too tired to make a decision come morning, and I let my legs guide me.
And those legs took me to Firehouse 28.
Daisy’s here too. I spotted her the second I arrived. One glance at her smile was all it took to calm my jittery nerves. I wish I had time to process what that means, but I’m already dealing with enough unexplained emotions for one day.
I could walk over and sit down in the empty seat right next to her, but I can’t seem to move any closer. The chief’s words have paralyzed me. The way he talked about Evan, like he was his child—he even called him “son”—remains stuck in my head. Evan already has a dad, OUR dad, in New York, but he chose our mom over him. As I fold my arms tightly, Jaime Harrison, the young guy we met yesterday, walks onto the small platform.
“Hi, everyone.” He nods to the meager crowd. “I met Lieutenant Forbes on my first day on the job. When I arrived at Firehouse 28, he quickly became my mentor. He’s the best teacher anyone could ever ask for, because he teaches by doing. He shows us every day that our jobs matter, but also that we’re lucky to be here. He supports us, puts his life on the line for us. A true hero. And even though I’ve only known him a short time, I already consider him my big brother. That day, he—”
Something breaks inside of me. I know it’s not medically possible, but I could swear it’s my heart. Shattered. I wish I could scoff, say that Evan is nothing like the person Jaime described, but I recognize my brother in every word he spoke. Evan was my hero when we were young. He was always there to protect me or make me laugh. When our parents fought, he was the one who took me outside to play, or blasted music so I wouldn’t hear the screams. That sums up most of my memories with my brother, actually. I guess our parents fought a lot. Maybe more than a normal couple should. But how was I suppose d to know that? I was a kid.
All those memories, of my brother and me, flash through my head, until my mind stops on the day he and my mom left. My throat closes up at the memory. I begged them to stay. Begged my mom to reconsider. Why did she have to move so far away? Yes, my dad did something wrong. I knew that. But why not forgive him? And if she had to leave, why not just move across the street? Even if I could kind of understand my mom, I didn’t understand Evan. We had a choice—our parents said so—and he chose to leave me. That’s what hurt the most. In one day, I lost my mom and my brother, my best friend, my rock.
“Congratulations, Lieutenant,” Jaime says as Evan steps forward. They hug like brothers, and that’s all it takes to finish me off. The worst thing about all of this? I don’t even feel the hatred for Evan I once felt. That I thought I still felt. Seeing him again doesn’t make me see red like I imagined it would. It just hurts. And not only because he left. Because I’m the one who refused to talk to him all these years when he’s been reaching out every couple of months.
Tears well in my eyes, so I turn around to dry them. A hand lands on my shoulder, and I don’t need to look to know it’s Daisy.
“You came,” she murmurs. “Y ou could have sat with me.”
I swallow hard, then turn to her. “I was fine right here.”
She studies me with concerned eyes, probably seeing the tears in mine, but I’m grateful she doesn’t pry. “Um. Should we just go, or . . .?”
“Ash,” Evan says, walking up to us while smoothing out his uniform. “You’re here.”
“I am.”
His glimmering eyes echo his smile. “I’m glad.” He then looks between Daisy and me, as if expecting one of us to say something. He’s always been the extroverted one. Why is he seemingly lost for words?
“Mom’s here,” he finally says, then glances over his shoulder at the small crowd. Sure enough, she’s standing near the front, talking to the chief. I wouldn’t have recognized her if he hadn’t pointed her out. She’s thin, a lot thinner than a healthy person should be, and she’s supporting herself on a set of crutches that cuff around her arms. And just when I thought my heart couldn’t break further, it shatters once again.