Chapter 23
Caitlin sat in the silent chamber watching Niall's haggard face, marking each precious breath that slipped between his pale lips. Four days had passed since she first pressed an elixir of herbs between his lips, struggling to purge the poison that flowed through his body.
She prayed she had blended the right mixture, prayed that too much time had not passed for the healing powers to work. Yet with each sunset he did not awaken, she grew more frightened, felt more alone.
She could hear the abbess's gentle voice as she bent over a novice who had lain senseless for days. It seems the longer they sleep, the closer God draws them to eternity. I fear she will never awaken.
Never awaken...
Nay. She could not bear it. And yet, if Niall must slip away, she was glad he had clung to life this long. If he could stay with her a few more days, his mother and Fiona would come, would have the chance to tell him goodbye.
Declan had sent riders to Daire, men he trusted, men who cared for Niall, though Niall had never known how deep their loyalty ran. Yet she feared even one more sunset was too much to ask of the fates now.
He looked so pale, so still. His face like marble, translucent, as if captured in some wicked spell.
She had decked the chamber with elderflowers to remind him of his mother, talked endlessly late into the night as if stories and tales, cajoling, and commands could reach him in the mist world where he wandered now, alone.
She had sung the melody they had danced to at the bonfire and told him how much she loved him, until her throat ached and her voice rasped in exhaustion.
Yet still he would not open his eyes.
She heard a soft sound in the doorway, turned to see Declan peering in, the warrior worn out from keeping his own vigil, standing guard outside the door.
Caitlin tried to smile, motioning Declan into the room. "Would you care to sit with him awhile?" she asked. "I know it gives him comfort that you are here watching over us."
"Do you think he knows? Knows that I... I would die for him. Not only as my chieftain but as my friend."
"I am certain he knows."
"Caitlin, there is nothing more to guard against beyond this door.
Few would challenge Niall now. If you could only step outside, look about you, listen to the people, what they are saying.
The truth has spread through Glenfluirse swiftly.
The tales of Conn's treachery with Niall and his father gave other men courage to step forward, tell how Conn schemed and plotted against them, trapped them into doing things that shamed them. "
"How many other lives did he corrupt the way he did Niall's?" Caitlin said sadly. "Poisoning with half-truths and secret fears?"
"More men than you can count have suffered under Conn.
Of any gift, any strength Niall could bring to Glenfluirse as chieftain, this is the greatest of all.
He freed them from the chains of Conn's lies, opened their eyes to the truth for the first time in so very long.
Aye, and opened their hearts with his courage against Conn's evil.
He showed all of us that his first loyalty was not to his own gain but to what was right. "
Caitlin reached over, touched Niall's cheek.
"He is the finest man I have ever known.
" She surprised herself with a ragged laugh.
"He would say I have not known enough men to judge, having grown up in the abbey.
But it would not matter if I had known every man in Ireland, would it, Declan? He is the finest of them all."
Declan nodded, swallowed hard.
"It is still so strange to know that you were the one who carried me to the sisters."
"You must despise me for my part in taking you from your parents. But I wish you to know I did not abandon you. Whenever I was near Saint Mary's, I would climb the tree that looks over the wall. I would watch you at your play."
"I remember telling the sisters I thought a giant lived in that tree. I always thought I had imagined you."
"You were such a beautiful child, and it comforted your parents to know the sisters loved you."
"My parents knew?"
"It was the only thing I could do to ease their pain.
Carry tales about you back to them. Images of a little girl to hold in their hearts.
Conn forbade me to tell anyone where you were hidden or ever to return there.
Made certain I knew the penalty was death.
But I have babes of my own, could not bear the grief in your father's face.
He wanted you to sense his love, though he could not be there to hold your hand.
That is why he sent you the lily each year on the day of your birth. "
"The lily was from my father?"
"Aye. After he died this last winter, I could not bear to bring one to you when the time came.
I should have, I know, and yet... every time I thought of Fintan, every time I thought of you, knowing you would never have the chance now to touch your father's face, hear his voice...
the pain of it, aye, and my own guilt, was near unbearable.
I tried to banish you from my mind, and your father as well.
There was nothing I could do to change what had gone before. "
The warrior swallowed hard. "Forgive me. For leaving you there. For refusing to tell your father where you were. I believed Conn's vow that you were safe. If I had ever suspected what he planned for you, I would have snatched you from the abbey myself, taken you to safety."
Caitlin slipped her hand into Declan's big, battle-scarred paw, saw surprise widen the warrior's eyes.
"I thank you, for all your kindness to my father, to me.
You gave my parents pieces of my childhood by the tales you told.
Maybe when Niall is well, you would grant me one last favor as well.
You could tell me what they said, what they thought, tell me if they laughed or cried when you spun stories about me.
Then it would almost be as if—as if we shared those times together, like a real family. "
Declan's eyes watered. He cleared his throat gruffly. "They never stopped loving you, longing for you. Every day, I heard them speak of their little daughter."
A ruckus sounded beyond the door, someone yelping in pain. Declan's hand went to his sword, Caitlin rising, facing the portal just as a warrior staggered in, clutching his shin.
"We are under attack! Beware—"
The surge of alarm in Caitlin dissipated into relief and what was almost amusement as a slender girl with bright red hair charged into the room.
"Try to stop me again, and you will be crawling for a week, you puling worm! That is my brother in there!"
The girl rushed in, cheeks flushed and travel-stained, eyes wide with terror.
"Fiona! It is too soon for the riders to have reached Daire! However did you get here?"
"We were already riding like fire, Owaine and I. He awoke, told me when he went to deliver Niall's message Conn tried to kill him! Owaine knew something was wrong and guessed Niall was in danger."
"He was."
"I left the others behind because I had to know. Caitlin, the warriors said that Conn... Conn poisoned him."
Caitlin stepped away from the bed. Hated the horror contorting Fiona's small face.
"Is he...?" Dead? Fiona could not speak the word, but it hung there between them.
"He lives. If he would only awaken."
"He will. He has to," Fiona choked out. "He—he always comes back for me. Even this time, after so very long... he came back."
Caitlin brushed a lock of hair from Fiona's stricken face. "He asked me to tell you that you were right about your father. Conn confessed Ronan was innocent before he died. Niall said you loved nothing more than proving him wrong."
"Then he can just wake up and give me the pleasure of gloating! Niall!" Fiona shook him by the shoulder. "Niall, I came all the way to Glenfluirse to find you again. Tell you—I..." Her voice roughened. "I love you, curse you to hell!"
Caitlin peered into the girl's face, with its anguish and devotion. Surely, even the cruelest fate could not steal her brother away.
Caitlin knelt at Niall's side, touched his cheek. "Niall, please, you must awaken now. I know Fiona has never said those words before. It took so much courage... but then, she learned courage from you. We cannot lose you now, Fiona and I. Aye, and your mother."
Her breath caught. Had she seen his eyelashes flicker? His lips move? Or was it her imagination? Nay, he was trying to say something!
"Now I have to stay... dead."
"What? Niall?" Caitlin gasped.
"He said something!" Fiona cried.
"I said, now I have to stay... dead. If I live, Fiona will never forgive me for... hearing that." His eyes drifted open, bloodshot, weary, but sparkling with wry humor. "Say it... again... wee one."
"Niall!" Fiona sobbed, flung herself across his chest.
"Help!" came a muffled yelp. "I really will be dead. You are smothering me!"
Caitlin tugged Fiona away, and the girl fell into Declan's arms, the two of them hugging, laughing.
Caitlin dropped to her knees beside Niall's bed. "You came back to us. Fiona knew you would."
"I was so... so tired. Wanted to let go, sleep. It hurt so much, lady. But every time I thought I could not hold on, I saw my father shimmering before me with something in his hand."
"What was it?"
His lips curved in a bewildered smile. "A lily. He said there were no lilies where he dwells. Laid the flower on a standing stone so I had to trudge farther, farther, out of the mist to reach it. So far that at last I could hear you calling me."
Caitlin gathered him in her arms. "I never stopped calling you, loving you. I never would have, even if you had stayed in the mist with your father. I would have spoken to you as your mother spoke to him, in all the places you loved me, knowing you could hear me."
"And I would have listened. Whispered back to you. As my father whispered to me for so long, even though I refused to listen. He forgave me, Caitlin, for every wrong I did him. I pray that when our babes come, I will be half the father he was to me."
"You have already proved you will be. The most loving of men, the bravest of warriors, the most honorable of heroes."
His brow creased, troubled. "And what kind of a chieftain will I make? I never wished to rule. I have spent all my life avenging a lie. Believing what was wrong. Angry. An outcast. Trusting no one but the man who had already betrayed me. I know nothing about how to be a chieftain."
She had wished to remain at Daire, wished for a simple life with this man she loved.
And yet, after all she had witnessed in Glenfluirse, could her own dreams have changed?
Conn had hurt so many people and destroyed so many lives.
His people had trusted him and put such power in his hands. Trust Niall would hold as sacred.
"Everything in your life shaped you to be the finest chieftain Glenfluirse has ever known," she said. "You are brave, aye, and just and strong enough to rule. But there is something in your heart that will be more valuable to your people than any of those things."
"And what is that, Lily Fair?"
"Compassion. You will never forget what it feels like to be alone and afraid and helpless.
You will not value only the mighty and the powerful, you will cherish the weak and protect them.
These people need you, Niall, almost as much as Fiona and your mother and I do.
Show them that strength can be good. Power can be trusted.
That there are men who have real honor instead of shape-shifting to suit their own purpose. "
A shadow glided across the bed, so slender it seemed to be dissolving into mist. The druid, frail and wise. Was he not the one who had begun this when he had placed his hand upon her mother's womb?
"It would seem Fintan's daughter is as wise as she is beautiful," the aged holy man said.
"I heard that you have awakened, Niall of the Seven Betrayals.
It is good. I did not understand the truth until you lay half dead at my feet.
The truth— it was not that the old ones were silent, it was that I was too fearful to listen, knowing I was the man who condemned this girl to death with my prophecy.
I did not want to know, did not want to listen and face the fact that I had condemned those whom the old ones had chosen. "
"Chosen?" Niall breathed. "I do not understand."
"You and Fintan's daughter are the ones the ancient writings spoke of—rulers destined to take the old ways and mingle them with the new, the ancient magic Niall battled in his quests and the sacred echoes from the abbey Caitlin was raised in.
Ireland will change, give itself to the Christian God, but the birth pangs of this new age in Ireland will not suffer blood and violence, killing and hatred, as in the rest of the world.
A gentle blending will blossom under your care, a sweet layering of new wisdom over the old. "
Caitlin stared, stunned, remembering her own thoughts that day she had dashed through the woods to the druid altar, that very thought running through her head—before she had found Niall, begun to love him.
"Niall," Caitlin whispered. "Remember the writings on the stones, the standing stone at Daire and the druid altar near the abbey where my lilies once lay? The symbols were the same. It is true, what the druid says."
"Can you doubt it, Lily Fair?" Niall said, reaching up, kissing her. "From the moment I saw you, splashing in the sea waves, the first moment I touched your hand, I knew—we were destined to love each other from the beginning of time."
"A new age is coming, when the abbeys and saints will rule. There are those who claim the old voices will fade, but you both know the truth." The druid smiled, a gentle, secret smile. "Ireland will always have a pagan heart."