5. Val
Guilt surged through Val as he rushed from the house. Thickened in his throat as he dove into his car. Tightened his chest as he backed out of the driveway.
Not for interrupting his two best friends in an intimate moment.
For watching them as long as he did.
He got as far as the first cluster of shops on the main street outside their neighborhood and parked at the edge of the lot. He shook his hands out, then used his palm to put pressure on the base of his aching dick. They’d been so fucking hot together. Not because Sage and Weston were two of the most unfairly attractive fuckers he knew. Not even from seeing them naked, which he’d done often enough through years of gym class and basic training and sharing a single bathroom.
No, the turn-on had been in the messy, imperfect details of real life. How Sage’s lube-slick hand slipped on Weston’s hip until he dug his fingers in hard enough to bruise. How Weston’s indecent sounds had been half-formed words, not theatrical porn moans.
His brother got called into work for an emergency before they even ordered drinks, and Val’s quiet electric car didn’t provide the same warning noise as the approach of a regular vehicle engine. The guys would never have learned he’d come home early. He should have turned around the moment he caught on, but he’d been captivated, unable to even blink, as Sage eased into Weston.
It was the kiss that broke him. The way Sage so clearly read Weston’s body, his hot spots. And Val wasn’t sure which shocked him more. That this was obviously not the first time his friends had hooked up. Or that they’d hidden it from him.
It’s not that he minded the former. He’d never begrudge his two best friends any happiness they found in life. That they found it with each other was practically icing on the cake, even if it caused him pain. He’d need time to reconcile their pleasure with the notion the two people he trusted most in the world kept such a secret from him.
At least Val’s dick stopped trying to strangle itself in his pants, withered by his tangled emotions. He rested his forehead on the top of the steering wheel and whispered a curse into the empty car.
The girls he dated when he lived in Maryland before, even back through high school, had always accused him of emotional unavailability. Not until he’d moved to California, truly alone for the first time in his life, had Val realized his heart belonged to his best friends. Assuming his mind had already figured shit out and he just had to get his body on the same page, he’d promptly gone the route of any good scientist and launched a proper set of experiments. The boon of modern hookup culture allowed Val to discover the joys of frottage and blow jobs.
Figured Val would catch Sage and Weston in the one act that proved he’d never get any sort of happily ever after with either of the men he loved. Because once he’d gotten to the anal sex portion of his experimentation, that’s where it all fell apart.
Life was a fickle bitch. Val hadn’t needed firsthand confirmation he would never be able to give either man what they needed in a relationship. He’d resigned himself to enjoying all he currently had. He could deal with the quiet agony of seeing them together and knowing he’d never have more. Like the ache from a firm massage, with the hint of pain eventually forgotten amidst the overwhelming pleasure of his two favorite people finding love with each other.
Val’s brain stuck on the relationship part, though. Why had they allowed him to assume they were single? Why keep separate bedrooms and maintain the fa?ade of not dating? That lie caused a much sharper hurt he couldn’t reconcile.
He couldn’t sit in this parking lot forever. He also couldn’t face going home, not with his face still burning from embarrassment and gut roiling in pained revelation. Luckily, his brother had insisted Val keep the key to his place in case of emergency. Even better, Dima was sure to be at work for hours more, which would save Val from any immediate questions.
He left the parking lot and pointed the car south.