Chapter 19
19
LINCOLN
Walking across the parking lot, we huddle together, my hand resting on Violet’s hip. It’s so natural to be with her. She fits perfectly by my side.
I can’t push down this feeling of completeness when I’m around her. Everything feels good. Right.
As if the earth stopped spinning, she grounded me, and became my gravity.
And she’s worlds apart from other girls I’ve dated—er, slept with—and this new infatuation I have for her is foreign to me. It’s so strange to feel more for this girl in two days than I have with anyone. Ever.
Unaware of my thoughts, Violet hasn’t stopped tweeting away about what an amazing night she’s had and how much she loves my dancing. She asked me dozens of questions.
I taught myself to dance by watching hundreds of hip-hop videos on social media when I was a kid. Then I begged my dad to pay for online classes for me to follow. I picked it up quickly and loved it, but it was always just a hobby for me and something I did in the privacy of my own bedroom .
But when I heard the bar was looking for staff for their charity evenings, I jumped at the chance, and it gave me something to do on a Saturday night while here in Santa Monica. Plus no one knows me here.
I look down at Violet, who looks up at me at the same time. She’s shorter because she trapped a heel in the cobblestones as we were leaving, and her broken shoe is currently swinging in her hand back and forth gleefully as she walks. She’s right, she is accident-prone.
“Give me those. I’ll carry them.”
She passes me her broken shoes.
On tippy-toes, she smacks a kiss to my lips as she continues to wiggle her hips against my other hand.
Something weird happens in my chest when she lays her hand over my heart. Something I can’t describe. But it’s nice, warm. Like home.
Like I belong.
There has always been a gnawing sensation in my gut when I think about my mom leaving me when I was a baby. A small part of me that feels not good enough or imperfect.
Flawed.
Like a wonky tip of a hand-drawn five-point star.
It’s not something I have ever spoken about with my dad, because he did a fantastic job raising me and I know he worried about me when I was growing up without a mother, but he went above and beyond to ensure he was always there for me—school plays, football games, swimming lessons, everything. He showed up for me, physically and emotionally.
He was the best father, but my mom was not someone we spoke about, not in depth anyway, because my mom and dad weren’t together that long and separated not long after they got married, so I’m guessing he didn’t know her that well. Although my dad was always a silent and thoughtful man. Deep.
He also struggled with his own feelings too. It must have been difficult for him. Eighteen years old, divorced with a baby. I can’t comprehend how he did that as well as working at the hotel and studying for his degree via distance learning. That still blows my mind. What a guy.
He framed a photo of my mom for me and it sat by my bedside my entire life until I came here. It’s now tucked safely inside my wallet.
I used to stare at it, wondering what my mom was like.
If she loved me.
I guess I will never know.
While my father loved me harder and deeper than any love I have ever known, that little one percent of me, the little boy who looked on at friends surrounded by their mothers, he seeks the warmth, a hug, and the love of his mommy. Still.
I don’t need it, but that one percent would like to know how it feels.
Traveling, however, has given me the perspective I needed. To see that I need to open my heart to hope and possibility and to stop pushing people away. To stop thinking everyone is going to leave, because they don’t.
I know all too well, Violet and I have an expiration date and that guts me to my core.
Nothing makes any sense and my head has been reeling all day.
Violet cuts through my sad thoughts. “Want to live life on the edge?” She swings her passenger door open.
“What are you thinking?” Christ, I’m so tired. I’m fucked if I know where she gets her energy from. I’m pretty sure she pulls it from the sun .
As soon as we jump into my car, she places her purse on the floor, and just as I’m about to press the start button, she clumsily climbs across the center console and straddles me.
“I can’t wait any longer. You’ve been teasing me all night.” She pulls the front zipper of her dress down a little.
“People will see in.” I grab her waist to stop her and look around the dark expanse outside the car.
“No, they won’t. You’re parked at the furthest point in the parking lot and you have blacked-out windows.” She pulls the zipper right down to her waist.
Her large, pert breasts are my undoing. “Aw, fuck it.”
She kneels up slightly to allow me to unzip her dress fully. “Best dress ever.” I ease down the lace cup of her bra and suck a rosy-colored nipple into my mouth.
She clasps the back of my head when I lash my tongue around her pebbled nub.
Violet desperately scrambles with the waistband of my sweatpants, pushing them down to pull my cock free, stroking it, which pulls a moan from my throat.
She’s almost telling me off when she says, “You’ve been teasing me all night, you naughty boy. You act like a nineteen-year-old, have the body of a god, and you fuck like a king. Now fuck me like I’m your queen, Lincoln.”
Her filthy words from her sweet mouth make my cock grow harder for her.
We’ve had sex at least five times today, but she wants more.
I may have met my match. She is ravenous.
Her hand moves up and down my shaft. No woman has ever made me so hard and pre-cum weeps from the tip in anticipation of what’s to come.
When she rubs her thumb across my glistening tip, I let out a long moan. “I need to be inside of you now.” I struggle to form words and slip her soaked lace panties to the side to slide home.
She flings her head back, pushing her breasts into my face.
“I am fucking these later.” I bite her succulent skin, making her gasp.
“Promise?”
“Pinky promise,” I mumble against her nipple. “Shit, I’m not going to last.” I pump her up and down my cock. “You are fucking soaked, Petal.”
Violet grabs on to the back of the seat and begins fucking me faster.
I let her do all the work because she knows exactly what she needs to chase her orgasm. She tilts her hips, clenching her pussy, and I have to hold back my impending climax.
As she braces one hand against the roof to fuck me harder, I circle her clit just the way I’ve discovered she likes it. Gentle flicks mixed with subtle pinches and fast taps.
She lets out a pleasurable cry as I tease her bud between my fingertips, and I watch in awe as she lets herself unravel in front of me.
Lacing my fingers into the back of her hair with my other hand, I pull her forehead to mine. “Come for me, sweet girl.”
Her soft voice rings out as she fucks herself on my rock-hard cock, her heavy tits bouncing.
My name on her lips and her soaking wet pussy are my downfall and the tingling sensation that’s been building coils through my spine and into my balls.
My balls tighten and I cry out in pure pleasure as her body milks me of every drop.
How can it be possible for sex to be this good with someone you’ve just met? My brain can’t comprehend what’s happening between us .
“So good.” Violet leans forward, kissing me with hungry lips, and sucking my tongue into her mouth, making my cock twitch again.
I’ve never had a woman who knows what she needs in the bedroom. But Violet knows exactly what she needs and how to get it.
She leans back slightly, all dopey-eyed and lust-drunk.
“Feel better?” I say, out of breath.
She pushes her long dark locks out of her face.
“I do. Now take me home. You have a pinky promise to make good on.” She pushes her boobs together.
“You are going to fuck me raw, aren’t you? I don’t know if I can manage again.” Still inside of her, I tilt my hips upward, making her moan.
That’s a lie. My dick is always ready to go where she’s concerned. She’s a fucking dream come true.
That old part of me tells me to walk away because I already feel like I’m going to get hurt and the new part of me wants to wrap her up so I can keep her forever.
Another first for me.
“I need my beauty sleep.” I pout.
“Not happening. Now take me home.”