4. Tennant
I f I thought I could get away with it, I’d shoot Ignacio for daring to think he can not only touch Benjamin, but call him Little Mouse . That might have been his nickname first, but the Topolino is mine .
“Don’t be an idiot,” Hollis signs.
I huff and hold Benjamin close. “I didn’t do anything,” I say quietly.
“I know you too well, Love,” he replies. “We don’t need this right now. Roman doesn’t need it, Benjamin doesn’t.”
Looking down at the man by my side, I find his eyes already on me. Sighing, I reach for his face, cupping his cheek and tilting his head back a little for more eye contact. “Are you upset with me, Topolino?” I ask quietly.
He bites his lip and stares at me with those sea green eyes that seem to be able to cut down to the quick of me.
I’m distantly aware of Hollis and Jude moving back toward Ignacio, giving Benjamin and I as much privacy as possible.
I want nothing more than to drag Benjamin somewhere for some actual privacy, but I refuse to leave Roman.
At least, my Baby Mouse seems to understand that.
“No… Maybe a little. I want you to at least try with him. Please? You don’t have to like him—hell, you keep telling me I don’t have to be friends with Roman, but I need to respect him, and this is the same thing.”
“This is not the same.”
“It is.” He pulls away and stands in front of me, his hands on his hips. “You don’t have to like him. I wish you did, because you’d get along really well, if you gave him a chance. But at least respect him, as Roman’s love, as a member of the Family, and as my friend.”
“Do you want him back, Topolino?” My chest constricts as I ask the question. Weird feelings roll through me, and it’s impossible to shove them aside.
Benjamin moves in close again, taking my hand in between both of his. “I don’t know,” he says so lowly he barely makes a sound. “We… Il Padrone punished me. I… Can I tell you about that later? Now isn’t the right time.”
I soften a little. “Of course. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but I would like to know, so I can support you.”
Tears fill his eyes and he shakes his head. “I…I don’t know how to talk about it. It… He knows how to break us.”
Pulling my hand from his, I gather him close again. “Shhh. It’s okay. Tu stai bene. Io ho te. You can tell me later if you want. Just…you’re scaring me, Baby Mouse. If you’re going to leave me…”
“No!” he says loudly, fiercely. Pulling back, he looks me in the eye. With one hand on my chest, the other reaches up to pull me down by the neck. “You are mine, Nocciola. I will endure anything in order to be with you. Things between Ignacio and I are…complicated.”
“You slept with him,” I bite out.
He nods, but keeps a firm grip on the back of my neck, holding me in place and asserting dominance over me.
I let him because he is one of the only people I will ever bend for.
We both know I could reverse our positions quickly, but why would I when it’s so fucking sexy to be put in my place by the baby mouse?
“As part of my punishment,” he says softly.
“I think Il Padrone knew I didn’t want to, that the emotions that come with sex between Ignacio and I would be too much, and I wanted to avoid it.
So he…made me prove my loyalty. We use sex to strengthen our bonds, and remember what we’re fighting for.
How can I call myself a Martelli if I refuse that connection? ”
Tears fall down his cheeks, but neither of us move to wipe them away. “Do you still want to be a Martelli?” I ask carefully.
And apparently, none too quietly, as Ignacio says, “What kind of fucking question is that?”
Benjamin and I both turn to face him. I have to fight to keep my voice level. “Stay out of this, Chaos.”
“How dare you suggest?—”
“I wasn’t speaking to you.”
“It’s fine, Ignacio. It was a simple question.
” Benjamin looks back to me and says, “Yes. I do. Lio is my best friend, I’d never leave him.
Never. That’s like asking you to leave Hollis.
It's an impossible thing to ever consider. The Martellis are my family. You…are my home, Ten. The place I feel safest outside of Emilio’s arms. Please, don’t ask me that again. ”
“Okay, I won’t. I promise.”
He takes a deep, shuddering breath and nods. “Back to what I was saying. Il Padrone knew I was torn and he pushed the issue. I had to prove I wouldn’t just work with Ignacio, but that I wouldn’t leave him or our connection behind.”
“Do you want him back?” I ask again.
He shakes his head, even as more tears fall. “I don’t know. I love him. I always will, but everything is so fucked up. I fucked up. I don’t know how I feel right now. When we were together, I realized I missed him. But I don’t know if I’ve missed him or the people we used to be.
“I can’t answer your question because I don’t know. But…I would like to have an answer, for us all. Would you hate me if I decided that I did want to give us another chance?”
Reaching for Benjamin’s hand, I pull it from my neck and switch our positions, shoving him against the wall.
I can hear Ignacio protest down the hall, but Hollis must intervene because I don’t have Chaos ripping me away from the baby mouse.
With his hand in mine, I raise his arm above his head, holding him in place.
Benjamin grips my shirt, pulling me closer to him.
“No,” I assure him. “I want you to be happy. You and Roman seem to love the bastard. I will never promise to like him, Topolino. I don’t trust him.”
“Trust me , Ten. Or do you not think I’m capable? Even after you trained me. Are you just like him? Thinking I'm weak?”
The blow is visceral, and I despise the way it makes me feel. The overwhelming crush of loss, even though he’s standing right in front of me. I tighten my grip on his hand, and he winces, though doesn’t complain. Gripping his throat lightly, I tilt his head back.
“I am not him, Topolino. I know you’re strong enough to take care of yourself. You stood up to me, and faced me down when I was at my worst. I will never think you are incapable.”
“Then trust me. I don’t know what’s going to happen between Ignacio and I, but at the very least, he’s my friend. And I need that. Almost as much as I need you.”
Putting pressure on his throat, I hold him against the wall. “Ho bisogno di te più della vita stessa. Ti rispetto e sarò qualsiasi cosa tu abbia bisogno di me.” Leaning down, I kiss him. Drinking down his moan.
“Do I get a hint of what you said?” he asks breathlessly when the kiss breaks.
I grin. “Ask Cristian for lessons, and then tell me yourself. Since it seems we’ll be crashing here for the time being.”
He huffs at my response before saying, “Can I trust you, Ten?”
I know what he’s asking, and it kills me he has to. But, I understand the reasons why. “You can trust me to let you make your own decisions. I won’t coddle you, Topolino, but I will protect you if I can. You can’t fault me for that.”
“I love you,” he whispers. “And I love that you want to protect me. Just respect me, too.”
“I do. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to fuck his cum out of you the first chance I get.”
He blushes and I can’t help myself. Tilting his head back further, I lean down.
Releasing his hand, I tug his shirt out of the way and bite into his flesh, directly above the mark Ignacio left.
I break the skin, but don’t go as deep as my instincts are telling me to.
I’ll mark him again, later. For now, tasting his blood is enough.
“You keep my heart beating, Benjamin. You and Roman, Hollis and Jude. You’re what keeps me human. You have my respect, and I will accept the choices you make. Even if I question your sanity.”
He laughs a little. “Thank you.”
I kiss him, letting him taste his blood on my lips. “Don’t thank me for giving you what you need.”
Pulling back from him, I let him move away from the wall, and he slides an arm around me, holding me close. Pressing a kiss to his hair, I meet Ignacio’s eyes, seeing worry and love shining in them as he looks from Benjamin to me.
I stamp down the need to punch him in the face, before making his insides his outsides. Knowing that’s not what Benjamin or Roman need from me. Whatever Ignacio reads in my expression has him nodding once, as if he can sense that I might still want to kill him, but won’t—yet.
He better hope he doesn’t fuck up with Roman, because there are no more chances.
And just because I’m standing down for now, doesn’t mean I’ll let him off the hook for the shit he’s done.
No matter what Benjamin says, or thinks, or feels, I don’t like the bastard, and can’t respect him.
Not yet. Not when I know he hasn’t even talked to Cris about Roman.
Hollis and Jude come back to stand on my other side, and we continue to wait.
After a while, Cristian and Carter come down from where they were getting checked out, and probably fussed over by Il Padrone.
I have to hold back my sneer when the Martelli Boss follows in Cristian’s wake.
That’s another headache I have to deal with, and he's at the top of my shitlist after hearing what he forced Benjamin into.
Soon after Cristian and Carter arrive, the door to the medical suite opens, and Donovan walks out.
“He’s okay,” he signs. “Relatively. It’ll be a long recovery.”
“English, Vonny,” Hollis says. “Ignacio needs to be informed as well.”
“Sorry,” Donovan says. “The noise and the people in there… Doc said I could take a break after this.”
“It’s fine. Would you prefer to sign? We can interpret for Ignacio. You can take your implants off. I’m sorry for overlooking that.”
Donovan waves off Hollis’s concern. “I’m okay.
As I was saying, the road to recovery will be long.
His wrist is shattered. Murry and the ortho he brought in have pieced it together with screws and plates.
It’s going to be a bitch to heal. His leg isn’t that badly off, but it’s fractured in three places, and will have him laid up for a while.
“There was shrapnel in his side from the window exploding, and that took a while to clean out. There must have been at least a hundred pieces of glass extracted from him. We had to be very careful and precise, so we didn’t leave a sliver behind—the last thing he needs is an infection.
“His ribs are also fractured in a few places, so that’s going to add time to his bedrest.
“We will start off slow with visitors. He should be coming around in a few hours. They’re getting him cleaned up now. No more than two at a time until he’s fully awake, and none of us will hesitate to kick you out should you stress him out. Understood?”
“Yes. Thank you, Vonny,” Cristian replies.
Donovan dips his head. “Doc will be out after Roman is all cleaned up, but don’t hesitate to ask me any questions you might have.”
“We can wait. Go rest, Vonny. It’s been a long night for you all.”
“Thank you, Boss.” Vonny doesn’t hesitate to reach up and remove his CIs, and I don’t blame him one bit.
“I want to see my son.” Cristian looks at those of us that are gathered. “I know you do, too. But please…I need to see him first.”
“Of course,” Hollis says. “We can wait. You and Carter take as much time as you need.”
Cristian meets me eyes and I give him a nod. “Go be with him, Cris. We will wait.”
Il Padrone doesn’t hesitate to press a kiss on Cristian, and then Carter, which makes Benjamin hold me a little tighter as I tense at the show. When he pulls away, Cristian reaches for him, bringing their mouths together once more.
“Go be with your son, Dolce Cuore. I’ll take care of everything in the meantime.”
“Thank you.”
Clenching my jaw, I allow the weight of the baby mouse against me to ground me and keep me from doing something stupid.
There will be plenty of time to confront the Martelli Boss, and make sure he’s good enough for Cristian, but right now, all that matters is the little shit who can’t keep himself out of trouble.
As if he can read my thoughts, Il Padrone looks me in the eye. I don’t try to hide from him, letting him see the fear, the pain, and my utter devotion to the men who I call mine.
He wants to have his wicked way with those I’ve claimed? He will learn he has to face me, too. Game on.