19. Benjamin
“ Y ou should get some rest.”
I glance over at my best friend in disbelief. Rest? While we still don’t know if Ignacio is going to live? Fuck that.
“There’s no way I’m leaving,” I snap, continuing my pacing.
Lio’s red-rimmed eyes watch me carefully. I feel shitty for not asking him what happened when he disappeared, but I can’t bring myself to. Not right now when my mind is already spiraling. He steps in front of me the next time I pass by him, touching my chest until I come to a stop.
Frowning at me, he narrows his eyes. “Seriously. You need to calm down. This isn’t going to help Ignacio.
I understand you’re panicking, but he’s going to need you to be strong.
Especially with the long road to recovery he has in front of him.
And there’s no way he won’t recover. He won’t leave our family—and you, specifically. ”
I slump against Lio and give him a weak nod.
I know there’s no way Ignacio will leave me, no matter the amount of hurt I’ve caused him.
I don’t deserve it. Even though he has Roman now, he’s made no secret of still loving me.
I’ve taken it for granted, though. Maybe if I had just…
Fuck. I don’t know. I can’t help thinking this is all my fault.
At the sound of a pained groan, I straighten immediately. Anxiety floods me again as I pull away from Lio. “What the fuck?”
“Holy shit, what happened?” Lio whispers, as Tennant is practically dragged into the hallway by Cristian.
A nurse bursts out of the medical suite, darting toward them. He manages to get a grip on Tennant, so Cristian isn’t solely responsible for Tennant’s weight. It doesn’t help much though, as there's still far too much dragging. I grind my teeth, wanting to know what the fuck is going on.
“Don’t test me. I stabbed you once, I can do it again,” Cristian shouts as Tennant starts bitching about going into the medical suite.
They disappear into the room, and we can hear more pissed off yelling before the door swings closed again.
Lio and I exchange concerned glances before I resume my pacing.
Now there’s two men I love with injuries, based on the spread of blood I saw.
Cristian has once again fucked with someone he shouldn’t have.
“That fucker is crossing too many lines,” I grit out, my entire body vibrating with rage.
Lio puts his arm around me, pulling me closer. “Shh. It’s going to be alright. Whatever you’re thinking right now…it’s not worth it. Allesandro is already on Cristian’s side. You don’t want to go through whatever punishment Allesandro would come up with. If he’d even stop at only a punishment…”
I break out of my friend’s grasp and stare at him in shock. “What the fuck? Did you…did you just say Allesandro?”
Grimly, Lio nods. “Yeah, we may have… Look, it’s not important right now. The only thing that matters is you and the men you care about. We can worry about my life imploding later.”
I don’t laugh like he’s expecting me to, because how the fuck can I? Growling, it's just another thing to lay down at Cristian’s feet. Fucker.
When the door opens, I turn toward it, hoping for news. Instead, a blood-covered Cristian stumbles out. He passes us without a word, only tossing a look of loathing at me. He dares be upset with me? Oh, hell no.
Tapping my foot, I keep a careful eye on the door, but when it doesn’t open again, I turn to Lio. “I think you’re right. I need to get some rest. Will you stay here and keep watch? You can text me if something happens…”
My best friend studies me suspiciously. “It had better be only resting. I can’t lose you as well.”
Giving him a lopsided grin, I walk away without responding.
I don’t want to lie to him. I’ve fucked up our friendship before, and don’t want to do it again.
Yet, this cannot stand. It doesn’t take me long to reach the room I want.
I hesitate briefly, understanding what I’m putting on the line, before I burst inside.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Cristian says calmly, even though he practically thrums with tension. I can see it. I’ve learned well at the hands of Tennant and Lio.
Snorting, I shake my head. “If you’re asking, you’re far stupider than I thought you were. And right now, I have to say, I already think you’re a fucking idiot. You put two of the men your son loves in surgery—one of whom may not even make it out. Father of the year there.”
“You know nothing.” Cristian waves me away, as if I’m insignificant. He pulls his bloody shirt off and tosses it toward the hamper—missing it by inches. He scowls at it before violently yanking the closet door open.
“Oh, I know nothing? How about knowing you’re throwing a fucking temper tantrum. After all, you just stabbed your best friend!”
His body trembles as he stands still, facing the clothes. He slowly turns toward me, his eyes devoid of any emotion. “He’s the one who decided to take your punishment. Because you never should have touched him.”
I stumble back at his cold words. Fucking Tennant.
Of course, he’d do that. “He had no right. You had no right. You and Allesandro… Fuck, I’d say you’re cut from the same cloth, but you’re worse.
He at least gives us agency—you don’t. And when he punishes us, it may hurt like hell, it may twist us up, but he’s never put us in the hospital.
But most of all, it starts everything over again.
You? You’re worthless. As a Boss, and a father. ”
“Don’t you dare,” Cristian says in warning, fury flashing in his eyes, and I rejoice that the deadness is gone. Because fuck him if he thinks he can walk away from this shrouded in coldness. No, I’ll make him face it.
“Ah, did you think I was weak? That I’d turn my back on the people I love?”
“Love,” he states incredulously. “You walked away from Ignacio! And Tennant? Like I can trust him with you. He’s already showing how much he values you by going against me, by taking your punishment. You’re a fucking menace to my Family—and to the Martellis.”
I bark out a laugh. Fucking hell is he deranged. I don’t even wish him on Allesandro. If our so-called Il Padrone walks away from Lio for this asshole…well, that says a lot about him.
“You wanted to claim Allesandro? And yet, you want to deny mine and Roman’s claims?”
His lips twist in distaste as he takes several steps toward me. “I have rights—you don’t.”
I smile at him, and it’s not a nice one. No, the venom that wants to spew from me is barely being held back. “Here’s my fucking right. They’re mine now. Tennant, Ignacio, and fuck, even Roman. You don’t deserve them.”
I grasp the dagger that Lio gave me so many months ago when I was struggling with the aftereffects of Jax. Without looking away from his eyes that seem to dare me, I throw it hard, chuckling when it digs into his shoulder.
His cursing echoes around the room, and I turn around and march out.
Allesandro can fuck off if he has a problem with it.
At least, I left him alive, and that was hard enough.
No, I need him to live because then he’ll need physical therapy—and if Allesandro doesn’t kill me, I want that.
He’s going to live by my rules. Fuck his.