Chapter 13
ANGEL
That wasn’t the first time I’d walked in on Raleigh in a compromising position. We’d been best friends with a no-knock policy since we were twelve. I would’ve been more surprised if we hadn’t caught each other once or twice at that point.
But fuck, I’d never asked if I could watch before. I wished I could have touched him and used my powers to sense his emotions. What had he been thinking as I watched him? Was he thinking of me? Or was that a silly daydream? My usual method of coping was to apologize, slam the door shut, then fantasize about it later that night. This time…
I don’t know what had come over me. The diamonds in his jewelry were catching the light and like some twisted fucking magpie, I couldn’t look away. I’d clenched my hands fists behind my back so tightly that my nails bit into my palms. I thought the pain could distract from the rock-hard need between my thighs, but I had no such luck. I was coming in my pants before I could even think to stop myself.
While he was in the shower, I snatched a change of clothes from my room and bolted downstairs to clean up in the office bathroom before anyone else arrived for the day. My soiled clothes were still stuffed under the sink.
I was ashamed, to say the least. Raleigh was my best friend. I had a boyfriend, for Christ’s sake. One who treated me with patience and grace I didn’t always deserve. One with whom I was currently on my way to meet after a very awkward few days, since I hadn’t exactly found out what we needed to talk about.
Eli had reached his residency program’s maximum number of hours that he was allowed to work this week, so I texted Raleigh and Ryder to handle the bar and headed out to meet Eli. I claimed I wasn’t feeling well, and I was glad Raleigh didn’t press the issue.
I was worried I’d crumble if he did.
Eli asked me to meet him at “our” spot, so I sat in the back of an Uber on the way to the outskirts of Vegas. Our spot wasn’t special in the sense that no one knew about it—it could be fairly crowded during tourist season—but it was meaningful to us. Things were hectic when we first moved to Vegas, with Eli interning and Raleigh and I learning to run a bar and business, and our special spot was the one place we would go to escape it all.
They called New York “the city that never sleeps,” but I thought Las Vegas put NYC to shame. Sin City was the very definition of thrill and excitement with little opportunity to relax or slow things down. But in the off season, like now, the snow-capped mountains brought a sense of calm that was often lost in the hustle and bustle of Vegas’s night life.
Mount Charleston sat less than half an hour’s ride from the Strip. One of the lesser-known landmarks around Vegas, it was surrounded by state parks and some of the most beautiful views in the country.
One day while we were hiking, Eli and I found a spot that offered the best view of the mountain, especially during sunset. It was one of our favorite places to spend together.
During the ride, I couldn’t help the guilt swirling in my gut. Raleigh still plagued my mind. Fuck, kissing him was a stupid mistake. I was a literal angel . I was supposed to represent the epitome of innocence, damn it. Something told me mutual orgasms and making out with someone who wasn’t your partner was the exact opposite. Almost as though it were taunting me, the mark on the back of my hand blinked. Shut up . I yanked my sleeve over the bastard and stared out the window for the rest of the drive.
* * *
I never would’ve met Eli if not for Raleigh. The three of us went to college together and we weren’t allowed to choose our roommates during our freshman year. I got lucky and was paired with someone on an athletic scholarship who was never home. I couldn’t even remember his name. Raleigh, of course, took it upon himself to fill that void. Unfortunately, the beds were too small to fit both of us, so when he got too drunk in my suite one night, I had little choice but to get him back to his own bed.
In true Raleigh fashion, he couldn’t find his key. He resorted to banging loudly on the wood, and I prayed his roommate wasn’t sleeping. I knew his name, and that he was a pre-med student, but that was the extent of it. Pre-med equaled crazy hours, which meant sleeping when and where he could get it. I’d feel terrible if we woke him up. Luckily, Eli had been up studying. After unlocking the door, he helped me maneuver Raleigh’s giant ass down the hall and into bed. I didn’t bother undressing him. I barely managed to get his shoes off before he was curled into a ball and snoring away.
I’d just pulled his bedroom door shut when Eli called my name from the couch. “Angel, right?”
I nodded, and he motioned to the pasta dish in front of him. I couldn’t really tell what it was, but it smelled incredible: garlic and herbs made my mouth water.
“I made too much. You hungry?”
Back then, Eli kept his hair a bit longer. The wild chestnut curls and green eyes gave him a boyish charm that stirred up butterflies in my stomach. My heart may have belonged to Raleigh, but I was still an eighteen-year-old guy.
Sue me.
I nodded again, smiling shyly.
Eli practically leapt out of his seat to make me a plate. “Sit. Drink?”
“Whatever you’ve got.”
To my surprise, Eli didn’t react to my use of ASL. He held up a bottle of red wine, and I agreed. We weren’t legally old enough to drink, but it was college—and a glass or two wouldn’t affect me anyway. Eli rejoined me on the couch, setting two plates of food and glasses of wine on the table. As we ate, something occurred to me, and I tapped his knee to get his attention. I grabbed my phone and started typing out a message, only for him to gently take the device from my hands.
“I can read sign,” he explained, setting my phone on the table.
For the first time in my life, my heart stuttered for someone other than Raleigh.
“You spoke to me,” I signed.
“I did,” Eli responded cautiously. “Is that not the polite thing to do when someone’s in the room?”
“Most people assume I can’t hear either.”
Eli took another bite of his food, smiling around the fork. “Well, we all know what they say about making assumptions. Besides, with how much Raleigh talks about you, I feel like I already know you.”
“How do you know sign language?”
With a bashful shrug, Eli ducked his gaze into his plate. Then, seeming to think better of it, he returned his eyes to mine. “I thought learning more languages would help me better connect with my patients in the long run.”
Oh, be still my heart. I thought I was the angel. “How many languages do you know?”
“Other than English? Four. Spanish, ASL, Mandarin, and Vietnamese—most of the top languages spoken in the U.S.”
My brows hit my hairline, and a flush crept up Eli’s cheeks. It was fucking adorable. I was impressed. Was this what it was like to have a crush on someone? Well, someone who wasn’t your best friend?
Between bites of food, I grilled Eli on his past, learning more about him. By the time our plates were empty, I was head-over-heels. Eli poured himself another glass of wine after I assured him that it didn’t bother me if he drank. The alcohol gave his cheeks a glow that was almost as rosy as the liquid in his glass. The flush suited him, and the sparkle in his eyes intrigued me.
After clearing the dishes away, Eli sat back down, this time a hair closer to me. I don’t know what came over me—maybe I picked up on his nervousness—but I was the one to make the next move. I stretched my arm out across the back of the couch and slid in even closer. I didn’t miss the way his eyes widened slightly.
“Is this okay?” I asked, gesturing between the two of us.
“More than okay.”
When his hand found my thigh, I squirmed. The motion only inched his hand higher. I should’ve been nervous. Except for Raleigh, I’d never been so close to another man before. Something in me wanted to flee, to thank Eli for dinner and leave, but I shoved the thoughts away as quickly as they came.
Instead, I twisted one of Eli’s brown curls around my finger. He shuddered, and I thought I could be the type of guy who went for what he wanted, the type who didn’t wait around for his best friend to notice him.
Eli looked at me, hopeful, and when he leaned forward to set his glass down, I worked up the nerve to lean in and meet him halfway. Our lips brushed, tentatively at first, then Eli melted into me.
He didn’t kiss like Raleigh, and I tried not to compare the two of them. As much as I wished it were otherwise, I didn’t think Raleigh would ever truly be mine. Not in the way I wanted him to be.
But Eli could be. His hand squeezed my thigh, fingers tickling higher and higher, and my cock took interest. I moaned into his mouth, and the kisses turned feverish, frantic.
Before things progressed too far, Eli pulled back. “Do you think Raleigh will be okay with this?”
I scoffed, signing quickly. “He’ll be in the corner cheering us on if we’re not careful.”
Smiling, Eli stood and offered me a hand, which I gratefully took and followed him into his bedroom.
Sure enough, Raleigh caught me trying to sneak out the next morning, half naked and all. Being a bit… distracted, I hadn’t made it into his bed to speed up his hangovers like usual. So he stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing his temples. When a mischievous grin curled his lips, I prepared my eye roll.
All he said was, “It’s about damn time.”
* * *
I shuffled through the park, shivering and pulling my jacket tighter around me. I wasn’t accustomed to the chill—even if the temperatures plummeted outside, the heat from the sheer volume of people in the bar kept me warm. The mountain wind, however, cut straight to the bone. Or maybe it was the unshakable feeling that I was being followed.
The feeling had grown since last night at the bar. God, the events of the last twenty-four hours hardly seemed real.
Footsteps crunched behind me, and I whipped my head around—to find nothing. I searched the area, the fading light creating shadows that were way too convenient for someone trying to hide. A few stragglers milled about but after not finding anyone or anything suspicious, I forced myself to continue through the woods to the clearing.
When I saw Eli bundled up on a blanket, a warm feeling melted the icy anxiety away. Well, most of it. I’d spent the entire ride—hell, the entire day —thinking Eli wanted to end things. When his head turned my way, as if he was drawn to me like a magnet, that worry faded away.
Only, it was replaced by a new one: Did I deserve him ?
I’d made out with my best friend last night—and liked it. I really liked it. As I approached my boyfriend of nearly seven years, I had this nagging feeling that I should have felt something other than guilt.
It didn’t take me very long to recognize that I loved Eli. Sure, we’d had some rough moments, but what couple hadn’t? Eli was kind. He was always attentive to my needs, and I knew I had a fair number of them. He never lost his temper with me when I couldn’t speak, giving me the space I needed to figure out how to say things in my own way. On a spreadsheet, Eli ticked all the boxes. He was my perfect match.
So why was it that when I watched movies or read books about people falling in love, I didn’t feel those feelings with Eli?
“There you are,” he said, opening his arms to me.
The smile that came over my face as I joined him was genuine, but the sinking feeling in my stomach gave me answers I didn’t necessarily want.
Eli did deserve someone better. Someone who didn’t sneak around behind his back, someone who didn’t make out with other people… someone who didn’t make their best friend into the object of their sexual fantasies, when they were supposed to be filled with him.
The kiss wasn’t even the thing that tore me to shreds inside. It wasn’t the private thoughts I kept behind my closed bedroom door.
It was the fact that I couldn’t stop thinking about doing them again.
Eli had his own distinct taste. It was often laced with peanut butter. He didn’t always have time to eat at work, so he relied on protein bars he could eat on the go. When he leaned in, I found myself missing the hint of metal from Raleigh’s kiss, the press of the jewelry against my lips. I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t do this to Eli .
Feeling queasy, I pulled back and stared into his beautiful green eyes. It was now or never. I braced myself to come clean. “I need to tell you something,” I signed.
“Me first?” He rolled his bottom lip between his teeth. “I know it’s a bit selfish, but I’ve been on edge for days and I need to get this out or I might throw up.”
His voice shook. Only Eli would consider it selfish to ask to speak first. That was who he was. The quaver in his voice only confirmed what I’d suspected: He was breaking up with me.
I couldn’t help but feel a tiny spark of relief in my belly. The thought of telling him about Raleigh was making me sick, but if Eli ended things first then I wouldn’t owe him an explanation, would I? That would solve everything.
“Angel,” he said, taking my hand in his. “The night I took a chance and asked you to stay for dinner, my life changed forever—in the best way. I’ve never been the type to take what I want, but I’m so glad I saved it for the right moment, because it led to you. I love you, my Angel. I know we’ve never talked about taking these next steps, but I can’t see myself having a future where you’re not in it.”
Oh, shit . He wasn’t breaking up with me.
He didn’t get down on one knee or reach into his pocket for a small velvet box. Instead, Eli brought my hand to his mouth and brushed a kiss across my knuckles. The sheer vulnerability in his eyes terrified me. My heart raced, and probably for all the wrong reasons.
“Angel Christian Dawson, will you marry me?”