Chapter 6
Preston
It was Saturday but I went into work anyway just to distract myself. I squirmed all day as if my body itched.
I knew why. Sage was the reason.
I’d given him my card but he hadn’t called. Of course, it was too early yet. I knew that. But I kept checking my phone anyway.
Usually, when I met someone and hoped they’d call, it wasn’t any big deal. The attraction was shallow, not formed yet, so I put it out of my mind. If they called, they called and that was that. Or I’d call them.
Sage was different. First, I didn’t have his number. Second, all I’d done was hold him, yet a connection had seemed to form. At least on my end.
I wasn’t sure why. I’d never had daddy leanings before.
Charles had called me on my lunch break and wanted to know about my evening.
“Why are you at work on a Saturday?” he asked.
“It was piling up. I’m leaving in a couple hours.”
“Did you have a good time last night?”
“Sure. It was good for me to get out.”
“Yeah, but anything of interest?”
“Not sure. You know. Cute guys all around but I’m thirty-five. I’m looking for something more substantial.”
I had been less than honest with my long-time friend. As if hiding from the reality that I wanted Sage or that anything more than a nice hug had happened between us. Correction: a nice long hug lasting more than an hour.
I never mentioned any of that to him.
I left work around three in the afternoon. Sure, there was always more to do but I updated all the current reports and answered all my e-mail. I left early. It was the weekend after all.
On the way home, I drove by the club. Not sure why.
It wasn’t open yet but I figured it would be the busiest on a Saturday night.
I didn’t stop but drove on. I had no plans to go there…
maybe not for a while. If I ran into Sage, it might be nice.
But he could call me if he wanted to. I would be patient.
On my way home I grabbed take out. My plan was to forget about last night and become a couch potato in front of the TV with junk food. I'd work out an extra hour tomorrow to make up for it.
Now on my couch in my softest comfy sweats, I ate and watched a comedy.
By bedtime I was ready to scroll the Internet for fun.
I had just set my phone aside when it dinged a text message. I figured it was Charles and ignored it. It dinged again.
I reached for it and opened my texts.
Hi, this is Sage. We met last night.
I almost jumped out of the bed. My computer slid from my lap and I had to catch it before it hit the floor. Then I sat back against my pillows and read the text again.
My heart began to race as I typed a response.
Of course. I remember.
My little baby boy.
The thought caught me off-guard, especially the word “my,” but I didn’t have a chance to think about that when another text came in.
I found your card.
I see.
It was in my bib pocket.
I did put one there. I’m glad you found it.
I wasn’t sure if I should contact you. I was at work until 9. Then I went by the club. But I didn’t stay.
Where do you work?
City College Campus Pub.
Why didn’t you stay at the club?
The little dots were moving, then stopped. No text came through. Was that the wrong question to ask?
I wanted to know Sage better. In fact, I wanted to know everything about him after only one meeting. I tried not to over-think why.
As I watched my phone screen and waited, the dots finally started bouncing again.
You weren’t there.
I don’t frequent that place often. I used to years ago.
I started to dictate more explanations but stopped when I realized what he’d said. You weren’t there.
My breath caught. He didn’t want to know why. He wanted me to know he’d been looking for me. Bravely, I texted:
Do you want to meet?
The dots stayed still for far too long. Was he shy? Was I pressing too hard too fast? My phone went dark as I waited. I pressed the screen to keep it open. As I did that, it dinged.
Yes.
I tried not to sound too eager, but that was a failure.
When and where?
I get off work tomorrow at 6. Is that too late for you?
No.
I had started to say “No, baby” but had to delete the last word. It felt right but too early. I added:
We could meet anywhere you like. Will you be hungry?
Yes. Do you know Tilly’s on Main?
Yes.
I could be there by 6:30.
Sounds good. I’ll be there.
I sent the text, then realized I had more to say.
I’m glad we met last night.
I’ll see you tomorrow.
I pressed my head back on the pillows and let out a big, slow sigh. It was as if I’d been holding my breath the whole time we’d texted. The pounding in my chest was unusual for me. I had had many dates, but none that caused this reaction.
Suddenly, I had a million things to think about. What should I wear? Should I arrive early and get a table? What would he do when I told him I’d never been a daddy? What did he need? Should I bring a gift?
I always did this. I over-thought my way in and out of situations.
It was a good trait to have in my job. But not in my personal life.
I needed to rely more on my gut. But I didn’t trust myself well enough.
Maybe in law I trusted, but it was easier because I knew the laws backward and forward.
I knew when they applied more to some things but not others.
I knew the judges and how some were lenient and soft while others were bored or hardened by the years.
Some were angry. Some were funny. That knowledge always helped me when walking into a room.
In theory, I could apply the same to my personal life. I understood how hookups worked in the vanilla world. As long as it didn’t go further than that. And I knew the kink community and how it worked. But not in this area. Not with Sage.
I asked myself why not? He was another man. A young man, and this was just a date.
I didn’t have to over-think my answer. It was already in my mind. Sage mattered. That was why I wasn’t sure what to do or think. That was why my thoughts poured in with so many questions.
Sage mattered. And I didn’t want to fuck this up.