Chapter 8
Preston
Luck was with me concerning Sage. I was thrilled he wanted another date. Neither of us asked for anything more than a meal for our Sunday date, but I wanted to ask him to my home. Badly.
Just after dessert at the diner, I gathered all my courage and asked him on our second date.
“I’d like to cook for you,” I said.
“You mean come to your house?”
I nodded, breath shallow.
He ducked his head, then looked up at me with big blue eyes. “I’d love to.”
My mind soared high in the clouds as we left the restaurant. Something was going on between us. Something different from anything I’d felt before.
We both had busy schedules and set a date for the next Friday night. That was far too long a wait in my opinion but there was nothing I could do about it.
I went home and searched everything I could find about daddies on my computer. It was a hard search. Mostly porn popped up, which wasn’t quite informative, though of course it looked fun.
I learned nothing new. I understood the concept, but the feelings were missing from the porn or any AI descriptions. And the articles I found were about dynamics, not emotions.
I didn’t know what I was supposed to think, only that I felt a bit shaky and excited around Sage. All in a good way. I couldn’t deny the depth of it. Or that it was real.
I’d always been taught by the other guys when I was young that there was no right or wrong in kink. Every emotion was valid as long as there was consent.
I wanted to hold Sage. Like a baby in my arms. Why?
Maybe that was the wrong question. Or it shouldn’t be questioned at all. I wanted it with all my heart and that was it. Period. Why did there have to be a reason?
The week went by too slowly. I called my housekeeper for an earlier than normal visit. I shopped for food, thinking about every item I bought. Would Sage like it? What about the little or baby part of him? His mysterious needs obsessed me. I wanted to fulfill them.
I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate yet to give gifts, but I couldn’t resist the soft pink unicorn at the store.
It had blue jewels for eyes. The same shade as Sage’s eyes.
The gift had me nervous in the store. I’d put it back on the shelf once only to return to the aisle to grab it. Daddy instinct again.
I texted him on Wednesday.
Are you allergic to anything? What are your favorite foods? Snacks? Drinks?
He answered quickly.
I pretty much like everything except Brussel sprouts. No allergies.
I don’t care for Brussel sprouts, either. Could you be more specific about what you do like?
This need to please him came from deep inside me.
Spaghetti with meatballs. Pizza with everything and extra cheese. Any type of Mexican food. Cheeseburgers. Cheerios. Popcorn. Snickers bars. Strawberries and grapes.
That was a pretty typical college boy diet. I was just about to answer when another text came in from him.
And when I’m very little, chicken nuggets and hot dogs.
My laugh came from deep within. Finger foods. Yes. Why did that thrill me? It was too cute. I was going to get a little bit of it all. Just in case. My hope was Friday would be a success and I wouldn’t be eating everything by myself.
I promise a good dinner. We’ll feast well. Looking forward to seeing you.
I wanted to tell him more. That I missed him. That I thought about him every second. About his eyes and the softness of his hair. My muscles quivered at the memory of his weight against my chest, his head pillowed on my shoulder.
His texted reply thrilled me.
I’m looking forward to it, too.
I wanted to text more but set my phone down and forced myself away from it. I had instincts, and if they really were daddy instincts they were telling me not to push too hard. Not to rush. But damn I wanted to rush.
A lot of men I’d been out with hated foreplay and edging.
But the kink community had that behavior mastered.
They lived to tease. It was part of the play.
I wasn’t against it. Why it had never led to more permanent relationships for me, I didn’t know.
Teasing, playing, edging. It could open oneself to an intimacy that complemented eager desire. Intimacy led to trust.
As for falling in love, it didn’t obey any rules. People fell for the wrong ones often. Love like that didn’t pick and choose. It was almost as if the universe did the picking for you. I’d heard of people falling in love from one glance across a crowded room. That had never happened to me.
Until now. For me, this whole thing had started when I’d looked through the littles room window. I could’ve walked right by. I could’ve followed Charles.
I was glad I didn’t.
My house smelled good. Fresh from the cleaning. Savory from the cooking smells. I was steaming up the kitchen.
I’d taken a half-day at work in order to prepare. I decided to serve spaghetti with a tossed salad and garlic bread. It was easy and the least chance I could get it wrong.
In the fridge I had all kinds of fruit. I’d bought Cheerios. In my freezer I had a box of some kind of Snickers ice cream bar treat. Plus, frozen chicken nuggets and hot dogs. I operated on a notion that my dream for this night wouldn’t be our last.
On the counter, my phone dinged.
Caught in a little traffic. Be there soon.
Drive safe.
My throat and chest tightened. I did a little hop to the stove and put on a pot of water to boil.
Nervously, I kept checking the window by my door. It was just now six o’clock but still light out. By the fifth time I checked I got lucky. His car was pulling into my long driveway.
I waited until he was about to knock and opened it. His fist bumped air.
“Hi. I just saw you drive up. Come on in.”
As he stepped in, I leaned down to give him a hug.
He walked right into me and hugged me hard, his cheek pressing my chest. I heard him sigh softly.
Check. So far so good. That instinct paid off.
I hugged him tighter before reluctantly letting go.
“Let me take your sweater.”
“Okay.” He sloughed it off and handed it to me to hang up.
As he stepped forward into the living room, his eyes were big, his mouth slightly open. “Wow, you have a really nice place.”
“Thanks.”
“It smells great.” He sniffed twice. “Spaghetti?”
“Yep.”
“I was hoping. I’ve been craving it ever since we texted about food.”
“Good. I love spaghetti, too. Want to come help?”
“Sure. Your living room is awesome.” He moved through it while I watched him.
A silly smile curved my lips. I had no control over it.
I was proud of my house. My job paid well and I enjoyed the openness of it, the big yards, and the extra space including two guest rooms, a home gym, and my den which was more like an office.
But I rarely used it. My favorite place to work was my breakfast nook.
I loved it. It looked out over the backyard where I had a lot of fruit trees and a patio and, of course, a pool.
Sage moved past two recliners and my soft leather couch. He gasped.
“What?” What, baby was what I wished to say. I wanted to add that to my vocabulary but not yet.
He ran to the couch and nearly fell forward into it, reaching out to grab something. Up came the pink unicorn, its eyes sparkling.
Oh yeah. I’d actually forgotten I’d put that toy there just for him.
“It’s so cute! It’s yours?”
“No. It’s yours. I was going to wait until after dinner to give it to you. But you can have it now.”
“He’s really for me?”
“Yeah. Do you like it? I mean him?” He’d already gendered the stuffy. “Is it okay, the color, the size?”
“He’s perfect!” He hugged the toy to his chest.
Check again. More daddy instincts paying off. My stomach was doing flipflops.
He held the unicorn tightly as he followed me to the kitchen.
The water was furiously boiling, steam rising up the flue. I threw in the pasta and watched the clock. It had to be just right.
“I can’t wait to eat.” He walked around the kitchen looking at everything.
“Are you going to name him?”
He held up the toy. “Ponce.”
“Ponce?”
“Ponce de Leon, the explorer looking for the Fountain of Youth.”
“Which is a myth.” I regretted saying it the moment the words left my mouth. My penchant for rational knowledge was known for ruining the mood at parties.
He shrugged, appearing not too worried. “Who knows?”
“It’s a good strong name. Cute, too.” Like you.
The table was all set. Sage set Ponce by his plate and helped me bring out our food.
At the last moment, I went to my cupboard and brought out a small saucer. As I set the salad bowl down, I placed the saucer under Ponce’s head.
Sage snickered. “That’s funny ‘cause I was just thinking he might be hungry, too.”
This was my third time trying on the daddy role. It seemed to come naturally. I enjoyed it every time. How had I missed this part of the kink scene? Maybe I’d been too young. Maybe it was something I’d had to grow into. I never would have known if I hadn’t said yes to Charles last Friday.
As if reading my mind, Sage asked, “Do you believe in fate?”
I sat on the other side of the table facing him. “Not always in the way people mean it. I like to think I make my own fate.”
“Me, too. But do you believe it about how we met?”
“Hmm. Things happen by chance, of course. It’s a good memory for me.” I began serving up the spaghetti and handed him his plate.
He took his plate, then put his hands under the table. He brought up a card. My business card. “Is it why you gave me this card?”
I was surprised he’d brought it. “I hoped you might’ve felt even a fraction of what I felt.”
“It was fate. I didn’t know you. You didn’t know me. But you looked in the window. It could’ve been any night. I might have stayed home. We never would’ve met.”
“You make a good case. I’m starting to believe.”
“You could make a case for it, too. You’re the lawyer.”
I grabbed the salad and filled my bowl. “I’d start by looking up the exact definition of the word.”
Sage pulled out his phone and began tapping it. I filled his salad bowl while I waited.
“Here it is. Fate is the unstoppable, predetermined force or principle that controls events, steering life toward an inevitable outcome or destination.”
“Oh dear.” I gave him my funny face. “Then I would ask if we have free will.”
He frowned. “Me, too. Because I believe in that, too.” He set down his phone and picked up his fork. “This smells great.”
“Dig in.”
He had a few bites, then said, “Maybe luck is the better word? Not so dark. Unless it’s bad luck.”
“I do like that word. But again….” I paused.
He quickly filled in exactly what I had planned to say. “You believe in making your own luck.”
“You’re smart,” I said.
He smiled, then shoved a huge bite of spaghetti into his mouth. It wasn’t the best food choice for tidy eating, but I loved it and so, it seemed, did he.
“Maybe some part of both of us knew in a different way than regular language that we needed to be at the club at just that right moment,” Sage said. “Like something felt right in our hearts and we were ready to see it. To feel it.”
“I definitely agree.” What a smart boy. And he over-thought things just like me. What were the odds?
Check, again, for instant compatibility.
“I’m glad,” he said. “I’d miss you if we’d never met.”
I laughed. “But you’d never know.”
“I think I might know on some level deep inside.” He set down his fork and took a deep breath. “I have something to tell you.”
“What?”
“I don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“What happened last Friday. I don’t become a baby little in public. Not usually. It’s very rare. It’s a private thing. Most men hate it anyway.”
“They do? Well, I don’t.”
“I know that about you. You’re different. More real or something.”
When I’d thought about being in a daddy role, I didn’t think it through. Now that he said that, I realized it wasn’t exactly a role. I hadn’t been schooled at all by my Internet search. No research actually informed me beyond mere kink scenes.
I thought back over our date, buying the unicorn, our texts, and most especially my craving to hold him again. I was just being… me. It wasn’t a scene.
The revelation made me sit back hard in my chair.
“Why did you let yourself go in the littles room if you never had before?”
“I’m not sure. I think—I think you triggered me.”
Sage held up his hand. “That’s different.”
“How?”
“You weren’t playing. You were watching. Aware. Just being you. And I love that suit you wore. Maybe I have a thing for suits.” He flushed and grinned.
“And all that made you feel like—like—?”
“Like safe to be completely vulnerable. In that moment, I didn’t care if other people saw. Because you were there.”
“You had no idea of me, though.”
Sage winced. “I don’t know. I just felt it. Like safe because you were there. You were a stranger so I don’t know why.”
“To be honest, I saw you through the window and that’s why I went in.”
“You felt it, too.”
“Maybe we bring that out in each other,” I said.
“Like we triggered each other””
“That’s an interesting thought.”
“I want to hope for that.”
My heart melted at his words. I wanted that, too.