Chapter 19
RORI
Two days later:
I’m falling for Alonzo. No, I think I’m past falling and gone straight into the fallen.
It makes me giddy with excitement and equally nervous.
This is too fast. Right? It has to be. I get that Sienna fell for Alessio super fast, but that man pursued her like he was a junkie looking for his next fix.
Okay, so a small part of me is jealous about that, but I’m also extremely happy for my best friend. I know better than to compare myself to anyone else. Besides, what’s building with Alonzo is happening just right for both of us, I think.
A contented sigh slips out as I allow myself to sink a little deeper into the tub, the hot water enveloping me and relaxing my tense muscles.
It’s been a busy few days, and when I got back to the room after dinner and realized I had it to myself, this was my first thought.
Not that I don’t want Alonzo around, but a girl can never have enough alone time.
Not to mention, the hot water is soothing some of the aches and tenderness from the other night.
Alonzo wasn’t lying when he told me that I would feel him for days.
I’m still jumping his bones tonight. There was too much clean up after the last fight that needed to be done, so he didn’t come to bed until well after I was asleep, and he was gone again before I was fully awake.
If I didn’t understand why, I might be hurt, but this is his job. It’s not like I wouldn’t do the same thing if I was called away on a job. I haven’t seen him much of today, though, so I’m anxious to spend some time with him.
“God, Rori, you’re turning into a love-sick puppy,” I mutter to myself, half-disgusted, but also happy.
Alonzo and I fit. We have the same taste in food, and from what I’ve heard, he has an excellent playlist of classic rock he plays while he’s in the shower. So clearly we have that in common. Not that it’s the big thing.
The big thing is that we work. He’s not a giant slob; he’s kind to Hades and spends time playing with him to give me a break; he listens when I tell him things.
Really listens and asks questions. He’s not overly romantic, but that doesn’t seem to be in his nature.
He’s blunt, but he doesn’t shy away when I ask him questions.
We haven’t gotten crazy personal about things yet, but I feel like that’s going to come.
God, I’m not going to turn into one of those lovesick twits, am I?
I doubt it, but after the terrible number of dates that I’ve had in the last few years, I’m probably going to enjoy this giddy feeling for as long as I can. Well, at least until I get sick of myself, which will probably be sooner than later.
An excited bark pulls me from my thoughts and I open my eyes, lifting my head to listen as I hear Alonzo talking quietly to Hades. My heart melts. Damn it, I really am falling in love with that man. Anyone who treats my dog that well will always be in my good books.
I make quick work of getting out of the bath, into the shower to rinse off, and pulling on one of Alonzo’s shirts. I lift it to my nose, drawing in the delicious scent of him like the sap I am, before I open the door and step out.
Alonzo is sitting on the largest sofa in our room's sitting area, Hades in front of him, getting some head scratches while Alonzo watches the game. Hades gives a low groan of pleasure when Alonzo scratches the spot behind his ear, and I grin. Looks like Hades is just as deep under the man’s spell as I am.
Heading toward them, I try to ignore the butterflies in my stomach. Though the desire pooling low in my belly certainly helps. I want this man just as much as I did the other day. Maybe this time I’ll convince him to fuck me over the back of the couch. I haven’t done that in a long time.
Just before I reach them, Hades moves his head, letting out a low whine of happiness, making Alonzo’s head turn. I smile at them, but the smile starts to slip when I see the expression on Alonzo’s face.
Guarded. Determined.
Uh oh. The butterflies in my belly die, and the desire dries up. “What’s wrong? Has something else happened?”
“No.” He doesn’t look away, just watches me.
I arch a brow. “Then do you care to tell me why you’re looking at me like you don’t want to be here?”
He doesn’t answer that. Yeah, I don’t like where this is heading. I can already feel the sinking in my gut.
Alright, time to get to the bottom of this and fast. I don’t like this whole back-and-forth shit. If he’s going to hurt me, then I want to get it out and done. Rip the band-aid off. If that’s where this is heading, then there’s only one thing that would set him off like this.
“You regret it, huh?” I try to keep the bitterness out of my voice.
A flash of guilt, but then it’s gone. “Sleeping together isn’t a smart move,” he finally answers stiffly. “With everything going on, adding that into the mix, it’s only going to cause problems and distract us.”
“Distract you, you mean.” The hurt is sharp, then ebbs to a dull, throbbing ache.
He acknowledges that with a small cock of his head. “It’s nothing against you, Aurora. I just—”
“Spare me the it’s not you, it’s me bullshit,” I snap, though I don’t put much weight behind it. “Look, be a man and just tell me straight up, would you? I don’t have time or the inclination for all of this back-and-forth bullshit.”
He sighs, gently easing Hades back before getting to his feet and facing me. “The sex was great, but I need to focus on what’s going on around here. I can’t let it distract me, and you, Rori, are a distraction I can’t afford.”
I narrow my eyes at him. I can’t tell if he’s trying to piss me off or is just clueless about how callous that sounds. Knowing Alonzo, it’s probably the latter. Some of the hurt eases, but the rejection still stings.
“Then we’ll take it off the table. Or is that your hint that you want me to find a new room too?”
“No, you can stay here, just…nothing physical.”
Well, if he really didn’t want me, then he wouldn’t let me stay here, so maybe this really is about making sure he’s focused on what’s coming. More of that hurt flows away. A small kernel of hope replaces it.
“Then I guess that means that I should get changed and go and work with Hades. We have a lot of training we should catch up on after all this excitement.” And I can figure out what my next move is going to be.
Alonzo says he doesn’t want the sexual side, but that doesn’t mean we can’t build everything else.
Hell, maybe that’s the better option. We already know we’ll never have a problem with the physical side, but that doesn’t mean the rest of it falls into place, despite how well we’ve been doing together so far around each other.
“Rori…”
“It’s fine, Goliath,” I say with a reassuring smile. “I’m not going to burst into tears or go crazy. It means I adjust my plans tonight.”
“Plans?”
I turn and head for the walk-in closet. I smirk over my shoulder at him. “I had some plans to show you just how flexible I can be, but since that’s not on the table, I’ll have to put that energy into something else.”
Leaving him with that image in his head, I head to get dressed. I wonder how long it will be until he caves again. Alonzo and I have chemistry in spades, and eventually neither of us is going to be able to resist each other again.
I’ll be ready when that happens. Though it still stings that he’s rejected me even if it might be only temporary. Worry still fills my gut. What if this was just his way of letting me down easy, and he doesn’t plan on us being anything?
Guess that’s a worry for another day. It won’t be the first time a guy has done something like that to me. I just have to hope that Alonzo won’t be the next on the list.
For now, I’ll focus on everything else, and deal with his cranky, annoying ass like I have been, while also enjoying the quiet moments we’ve shared. Maybe that will be enough for now.
I walk out of the closet, dressed, and ready to get to work. Alonzo is in the same place I left him. His face is back to being a mask of calm indifference. “Hades, let’s go work.” Hades rushes to my side, his body wiggling with excitement. “Don’t wait up.”
“Rori…” I stop at the door and look back at him expectantly. He stares at me for a moment, and then shakes his head, before saying, “I lied.”
“About what?” That hope builds higher. Did the mention of some more stellar sex already change his mind?
“I lied that it has anything to do with what’s going on.” I frown. What? “You and me, we aren’t going to work. Ever. The other night, it was a mistake, and one that I’m not willing to make again.”
A lifetime of control keeps me from outwardly reacting to his words. Even as it feels like he’s taken a knife to my chest and driven it deep.
A mistake? I was a mistake. Well, if that isn’t a blow to the ego.
“So, what, you slept with me just to see what it was like?” I’m careful to keep my voice calm and cool. “A kind of weird curiosity.”
“I wanted to get you out of my system. The chemistry we have was distracting. Then you came on to me, and it made me realize that I wasn’t going to be able to function and do my job if I was always allowing you to be a distraction.”
Wow, a mistake and a distraction. We’re just batting a thousand with this, aren’t we?
Instead of screaming at him like I want to, raging that he’s a fucking bastard, I simply nod, open the door, and walk out, shutting it quietly behind me. There is nothing left to say.
I’m an idiot. I knew better. I should never have allowed myself to think that a man like Alonzo would ever look at me that way. Like he said, I’m a distraction. A mistake.
Well, fuck him. I need to find Sofia because there is no way in hell that I’m going to spend another night in that room with him. A mistake and a distraction shouldn’t be around the person they cause it to, right?