Chapter 31
RORI
I climb into my bed, exhausted and ready to finally slip into much-needed sleep.
Hades crawls up with me, lying his head on the pillow next to mine, facing away, and starting to snore almost instantly.
I chuckle softly and reach over to give him a small pat on the head. He groans, but doesn’t fully wake.
My brain is still whirling with thoughts and plans, the new information from Simeon making me question so much. He probably thought his act of being helpful overshadowed his cagey answers, but I clocked them immediately.
He doesn’t want me to know anything about that room. He dodged every answer by saying he had no idea it had been changed, but he could ask his men. And yet, those same men were supposed to be working and living with him, not his father.
The fucker is playing both sides, and we all know it. Which means Timur and my father have been apprised of every move. They’ll know before the night is over that I know about that room and the possible significance. So I have to be smart and come up with another plan.
Not to mention, he’s still stuck on the idea of me showing up and agreeing to be his fiancée.
Like, he can still pull that bullshit off.
I called him on his bluff; if he was planning this, where was my ring to make it seem legitimate?
His eyes widened with panic, but he tried to rush and assure me that he would get me one tonight.
Probably with a tracking chip already inside it. Does he think I’m an idiot?
Either way, I have to make new plans, and I need sleep before I start again. I need to find out what Simeon is hiding, and I need to do it without Ilya or Zakhar finding out. The two of them are far better than this moron, but I don’t trust them not to cause a scene with how worked up they are.
I close my eyes, exhausted, but I put my hand under my pillow, carefully gripping the handle of my gun, ready to pull it at a moment’s notice. I don’t miss this part of my life.
Sleep takes me deeper than I expect because the next thing I know, Hades is letting out a snarl of warning.
I react instantly, rolling and my gun up and ready to fire.
I kept the light from the bathroom on so no one can use the dark against me, and it’s the only reason I don’t shoot Alonzo in the face as he slips quietly into my room.
He pauses, glances at the gun, and continues moving toward me like he doesn’t fear for his life. I’m not sure if I should admire that or shoot him anyway just to prove a point.
“Get the hell out of my room, Alonzo,” I order, tucking the gun back under my pillow. Exhaustion still pulls at me, and when I quickly glance at the clock on the nightstand, I see it’s been only a couple hours. Not enough to make me feel rested. I need at least another hour and a half.
Something tells me I’m not going to get it. Damn him.
“Move over, Rori,” he orders, already stripping out of his clothes.
I knew I should have said something in the woods. It’s my own damn fault—and well, his too, since all those orgasms drained any rational thought from my brain—but I need to rectify that right now.
“Alonzo, whatever you’re thinking, you need to turn around and walk the hell out. The sex earlier was nothing more than a goodbye at the most. It changes nothing between us.”
“It changes everything, and as much as you deny it, you wanted me as much as I wanted you. It’s a step toward fixing what’s broken.”
I let out a frustrated sound, sit up, and reach over to turn on the bedside light.
Damn it, I guess no more sleep for me tonight.
Hades lets out a pained groan, getting off the bed to lie on the floor in the dark.
Alonzo still doesn’t stop pulling off his clothes until he’s clad in only his boxers, kicking it all out of the way, and reaching for the covers.
I slam a hand down on them and narrow my eyes.
“Alonzo, there is nothing to fix and I am too fucking tired to argue with you about it anymore. So you need to fucking listen to me now and get it through that thick skull of yours. You and I are nothing. We will not be whatever fantasy you have cooked up in your giant head. The sex is great, but that’s all it is.
There will be no connections, no fixing whatever you think needs to be, and there definitely won’t be you climbing in this bed to sleep with me. ”
He completely ignores me, and I let out a sharp squawk when he swiftly yanks the covers back and slides in, his hip shoving me over. He grabs my hands before I can wrap them around his neck and rolls on top of me, pinning me to the bed.
I’m blaming my exhaustion for my slow reflexes, and nothing to do with my traitorous body enjoying him pressing against it. Especially now when he uses his hips and thighs to pin my legs to keep me from kneeing him in the side or balls.
Damn him.
His eyes are direct on mine, piercing and unyielding. A small bubble of something ripples through my chest, and I’m determined not to name it. “You think I don’t know that you were trying to push me away earlier?” His voice is low, but not angry. More understanding. Why is that so much worse?
“Then what the fuck are you doing in here?” Son of a bitch, maybe it’s him that orgasmed his brain out. Or he just has a death wish. I’m not sure which is worse.
If he were angry or taunting me like normal, I might have a fighting chance of getting him the hell out of here. I can work with that. Not this.
“I’m refusing to let you push me away. No, be quiet and listen to me instead of spouting all that bullshit.”
I bare my teeth at him. Bullshit? I struggle, but he simply increases his dead weight over me, stilling my actions. Bastard! I glare furiously up at him, and I see his lips twitch slightly before he firms them out again.
“I love you, Aurora O’Brien.”
He says nothing else, just drops that bomb on me. I want to scream at him that he’s wrong, he can’t love me. A man who loves you won’t hurt you the way he did. He won’t force you to accept him when he can’t accept you as you are, and then constantly push himself into your life.
So, why does my traitorous heart pound harder and thaw a bit? And why can’t I seem to get the words out that are running through my head I want to scream at him? Why am I lying here in silence and listening to this?
Fuck, I need to get a grip.
“You might not be ready to hear that yet, but it’s true.
I was an idiot that couldn’t see what was right in front of his face.
You have no idea how many times I found myself staring at you, picturing things I had no right to picture.
Or at least, that’s what I told myself. I reasoned it away, and you and I seemed to like fighting and sniping at each other.
Then you pushed and I gave in and…and it was like I couldn’t hide those thoughts anymore.
Like you took the walls I built and destroyed them so completely I had nowhere to hide anymore. ”
I snort, unable to help myself. “You got laid, Alonzo. We have chemistry, but that doesn’t change anything.
It happened. You will never be able to accept me for who I am, Alonzo, and I’m not going to spend the rest of my life trying to prove myself to you.
I did that for the majority of my life to people far more dangerous than you.
I’m done hiding myself to make you and everyone else feel better and more comfortable. ”
I expect him to flinch or try to argue, but he surprises me by murmuring, “You’re right. I have been trying to hold on to a version of you that isn’t completely whole, is it?”
I stiffen. Wait, what? No, it can’t be that easy, can it?
“You know what I realized during our little game in the woods? That you are fucking good at what you do. I barely knew where you were, and I’m fucking good at finding people that hide.
It’s my specialty back home. Everyone gives themselves away, but not you.
It made me realize just how much you had to care for me, because you never once used that on me.
You never tried to kill me when I pissed you off, or when I accused you the way I did. ”
“So, you’re accepting me because you worry I might actually sneak up one day and kill you? Get on my good side so you can control me?” This son of a bitch is looking for me to kill him. How dare he!
“Jesus Christ, woman, would you stop?” he huffs, exasperated.
“No, that’s not what I mean, and stop trying to put words in my mouth.
What I see is someone who is fucking smart, resourceful, and someone who deserves my respect, not my anger and distrust. Everything I’ve said and tried to insinuate before, it was wrong.
So fucking wrong, and I’m fucking sorry, Aurora. ”
Some of my anger recedes, but I still don’t trust this completely. “Let me go.” I flex against his hold on my wrists, and though he does, he doesn’t let me try and wiggle my way free. I glare up at him. “Move.”
“You going to try and stab or shoot me? Again?”
“I only aimed the gun at you, I didn’t actually fire it.”
“We both know you have a knife under your other pillow just in case.” He reaches over, and he pulls out the knife stashed there. He smirks and tosses it to the floor before he allows himself to roll off me.
Like I need a knife or gun to kill him. At this point, I’ll just put a pillow over his face, call Hades over to lay on it, and call it a day. No one will hear him.
“Don’t even think about it, orsetta. We both need more sleep, and I don’t feel like going to bed with more bruises than I already have.
” His eyes move to my neck and a slow, smug smile pulls across his lips.
“Unless, of course, you want me to add a few more to you. There are a couple spots I couldn’t access last time. ”
“Fuck off. I’m not sleeping with you again, Alonzo.” I thrust a frustrated hand through my hair and try not to wince at the short strands.
Damn it, I miss my longer hair.