Chapter 32 Taryn #2
It does, but I don’t think now is the right time to say so. Instead, I say something else.
“You two used to be closer.”
He pauses for a beat before he answers. “That was before.”
“Before what?”
This time the pause is longer, and when he answers, some of the fire in my veins freezes.
“Before you and your mother left. He changed when you disappeared. Like the love he still had left just vanished.”
Ouch.
“The love he had left after your mom died?” I ask quietly, guessing at the root of Gunner’s pain.
Instead of answering, Gabe squeezes my hands more tightly, his arms strong around my body, and then moves so that his forehead is pressed against the back of my head.
“Yes,” he whispers.
I turn in his lap, adjusting so that my legs are outside his and I’m straddling him. And when he meets my gaze, his eyes are gentle and searching, as if he’s desperate for the answers I might have.
“What can I do?” I ask gently. “I want to help.”
I want to do more than help. I want to save both of them. Take them in my hands and tuck them into my pockets. Tell them it’s going to be okay and that I’ll take care of both of them. Gabe looks at me like he can hear all of those promises. Like he’s hoping against hope that I’m telling the truth.
And I finally see how broken and tender he actually is.
He hides it so well when he’s out in the world, but right now, when it’s just the two of us, he takes his walls down and lets me see all the heartbreak and loneliness.
And my God do I regret every second I’ve spent away from him.
I should have been here holding his hand when he needed me.
Helping him become the man he wanted to be.
Letting him protect me from the world that was trying to destroy me.
I lay my forehead against his until we’re looking at each other eye to eye, mine hazel and his blue. My whole world becomes his face, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Let me fix it,” I tell him.
I have no idea what I mean or what he’s going to do with the offer, but when he dips his mouth to mine and claims me, I don’t stop him.
The kiss is gentle and searching, like he’s asking for permission for the thing he’s already doing. When he splits my lips open and runs his tongue along my teeth, I know I can’t stop him, though, and by the time he slides his tongue inside my mouth and finds mine, he’s no longer asking permission.
I’ve already agreed to what he’s doing.
The kiss turns hot and passionate in moments, our tongues tangling and teeth biting as we give in to the tension that’s been building between us.
Gabe’s hands pull my jacket off and then yank my shirt up, exposing my belly.
I’m cold for a split second but the moment his hands splay across my skin I catch fire.
I gasp with the contact. It’s the first time he’s ever touched me like this, and his hands are both gentle and rough, the calluses on his skin scraping against me.
His fingers wrap around my waist and pull me down hard against him, and I register the long, hard presence between my legs.
Fuck, he’s a steel rod pushing against me, and now that he’s pulling me down, my hips start to rock against him, grinding my pussy down on his hard length.
I jerk back and look into his eyes, trying to regain some of my brain power. “What are we doing?” I gasp.
He puts his palm to my cheek and stares into my eyes, his own gaze deep and dark blue and unreadable. “Something we should have done a long time ago,” he says roughly. “But if you want me to stop, I will.”
I don’t. This boy is my stepbrother and best friend and someone I haven’t talked to in four years, and this could be a very bad idea.
Fuck, this is a bad idea. Everything about this is trouble.
So why does it feel so fucking right?
“I don’t want to stop,” I whisper, knowing in my heart that it’s the truth.
I’ve wanted this for too long to stop it now.
It’s the answer he’s been waiting for, and with three sharp tugs he’s got my shirt off and I’m sitting in front of him half naked. He glances down at my breasts, still sheltered in my bra, and then looks at me, the knowledge of how forbidden this is sitting heavy in his eyes.
I don’t have time for him to pause, though.
I don’t want to take the time to think about what we’re doing.
I reach back, unhook my bra, and let it slide slowly down my arms, revealing my breasts to the sharp, cold tang of the air around us.
My nipples pebble and peak, and when he looks down at them, I watch his eyes go from hesitant to hot and needy.
He reaches down and grabs my ass, then uses it to pull me up until my tits are at mouth level.
He takes one nipple into his mouth, rolling and sucking it until I’m gasping and moaning with need.
He smiles against my skin, gives me a quick nip, and then moves to the other nipple to give it the same attention.
I thread my fingers through his hair, pulling his head against my body and begging without words for more.
Until begging without words is no longer enough.
“Gabe,” I moan. “Please. God, please.”
He chuckles now, his breath hot and wet against the skin of my breast, and he pushes me back enough to jerk his own shirt off.
I look down and remember what I’ve seen before.
He’s sharp edges and swathes of muscle, his skin smooth and beautiful, and without thinking, I put my hands to his chest and curl my nails into him.
His hands come to mine and he stills them, then pushes them downward toward his crotch.
“Touch me,” he whispers, guiding my hands.
He finds his cock and carefully wraps my fingers around it through the fabric of his jeans, then gasps when I increase the pressure.
I stroke him two times, three, four, and every time my hands move I think he gets harder.
He’s larger than I expected–—larger than I’ve ever felt–—and suddenly I’m salivating with the need to take him.
Christ, I’ve never wanted anything so bad.
I can hardly hold the emotion of it. My body is humming with it, my soul screaming for this boy who’s always felt like my other half.
The missing piece of myself.
I must not be the only one who feels it because he suddenly grabs my hand, cursing, and flips us both so he’s lying on top of me.
He rears up long enough to jerk my jeans down and throw them to the side, and then I’m laying in front of him naked, bare as the day I was born and more vulnerable than I’ve ever been.
Because the boy staring down at me is holding more than my body in his hands. He has his fingers wrapped around my heart, his soul tangled up in mine, and no matter what happens between us in the future, I know that he’s claiming me as his own.
I’m marked, and I’ll never escape that.
His eyes run up my body, leaving both fire and ice in their wake, and meet mine, and he holds my gaze as he takes his own jeans off, the movements quick and efficient. When he’s done, his cock is bobbing free against his belly, hard and ready.
“Are you sure?” he asks hoarsely.
I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.
I nod without words, already reaching for him, and when he positions himself between my legs and the head of his cock presses against my cunt, I’m ready for him.
I spread my legs and arch my back, opening myself up, and look up to see him watching me carefully.
He puts a hand to my cheek, cradling me, and holds my gaze as he pushes inside me.
And dear God in Heaven, he’s big. He stretches me until I think I might burst, and when he pushes into me completely and hits a spot I didn’t even know existed, I gasp.
“Fuck me,” I whisper. “Oh God, Gabe.”
“Fuck you?” he asks, his lips quirking. “Is that a request?”
I want to hit him. I want to punch him right in his smirking face for making jokes right now. But I can’t martial the ability to do more than make a face at him. All of my nerve endings are screaming, and I’ve lost control of my muscles.
He makes the face back at me, and then starts to move.
His thrusts are slow and measured at first, pulling all the way out and then sliding back in, shifting until he’s hitting my clit with each slide.
I rock with him, taking him again and again and adjusting for his size while he builds me up, his thrusts getting faster and faster as he gets more confident.
He never stops looking at me, and I can’t bring myself to look away from him, though the intensity makes my heart feel like it’s going to explode.
“Stop playing,” I finally gasp. “Gabe, please.”
Now he finally drops down on top of me, his chest warm and wide and his lips against my ear. “Please what, Little Bird? Tell me.”
The nickname makes me feral and brave, and I tell him what I want without stopping to consider how stupid it is. “Fuck me,” I whisper. “Now. Please.”
He chuckles softly like that was exactly what he wanted to hear, and his actions immediately speed up, his thrusts coming harder and faster.
He pins my legs up to my chest and rears up over me, pounding into me as he turns his face to the sky, and I look past him to the clouds above, my body building up to a crescendo that I can’t understand.
And when he turns his face back to me, his eyes are nearly black with need, and his mouth is twisted with his passion.
“Girl, I can’t... I can’t...”
He doesn’t finish the sentence, but I don’t need him to, because I feel what he’s trying to say.
His cock grows suddenly harder and bigger, and my body responds like this was some prearranged contract.
I get immediately wetter and tighter, everything in me drawing down to clench his cock, and he groans.
I throw my head back, trying to contain the sensation, but he grabs my chin and makes me look at him as he thrusts once more.
Twice more.
Three times.
My orgasm starts when the tip of his cock hits me that third time, and my body spins and bears down, waves of pleasure riding through me and pulling him into me, and seconds later he’s releasing himself with a roar, his eyes on mine and his fingers still on my chin.
And I think this is everything. This is everything I’ve been searching for.
I’m complete and whole and safe and loved.
More loved than I’ve ever been.
And above him, the snow starts to come down again, as if the world is sending its blessing over us. I should be cold. I should be frozen.
But when he drops down on top of me, his breath ragged and his skin burning, all I feel is safe and whole. I wrap my arms around him, pull him to me, and wonder if we can spend the entire night out here, or if we’ll freeze to death before we fall asleep.
I can’t think of anyone I’d rather freeze with.
Though I’d rather live, and see what we become tomorrow.