Chapter 43 Taryn
Taryn
I shuffle through the ingredients on the counter, trying to get my brain to focus on the dinner I’m trying to cook, but the intrusive thoughts are winning today.
Honestly, they’ve been winning since yesterday, and I’m having trouble being upset about that.
Two days ago, I climbed into my stepbrother’s lap and kissed him like I meant it, and then I made love to him like I’d been planning it for years.
And he held me to him like my body was a wish on his tongue, and one he’d never dared to whisper until I arrived back in his life.
It was the most beautiful moment of my life, and I came back to the house thinking nothing would ever compare.
Then Gunner happened, with his surprisingly sweet touch and the absolute fear in his eyes when he brought me down on his cock, and though I was still treasuring my moment with Gabe, Gunner had eclipsed it with the pure desperation of his movements.
I went from thinking he didn’t love me to knowing that he loved me so deeply he could barely stand it and was terrified that I might reject him.
And though so many girls would have tried to choose between them, figure out which man had her heart, the truth was they both chose me when the chips were down.
Last night when my life was in danger, death thundering toward me as the snow slid down the mountain, both of those men had rushed to save me.
Put their own lives in danger to make sure the snow didn’t take me.
And then brought me home and made love to me in ways I had never even imagined.
I smile softly and let my gaze brush over the great room.
The Christmas lights are all on now, reds and greens and golds standing out against the deep blue green of the tree and the rich browns of the walls and floor.
Decorations line the walls and holly drapes off the ceiling.
We tied mistletoe up in all the corners—Gabe’s idea—and draped garland from the banisters.
That was Gunner’s addition.
Stockings are hung by the chimney with care—three of them, and though they don’t carry names, we all know which one is our own. The tree is decorated to within an inch of its life and even that stupid stuffed reindeer looks like it’s smiling.
The room looks nothing like it did when I first arrived, because now it looks like a home where people actually live and love and laugh.
The same change has been happening in my own heart. I came here thinking it was just a place to hide while I needed shelter, with people who would be at least kind enough to shelter me. I didn’t expect to walk into a house where no one talked to each other anymore and the rooms felt empty and cold.
I didn’t expect to feel myself open up and start to shine the moment I got here, doing everything I could to fill those rooms with my light, and the hearts of the Hawke men with love.
And yet here we are. I’m home, and I hardly remember the girl who first walked in that door.
“Communing with the reindeer?” a voice asks in my ear.
I jump and turn, surprised to see Gunner standing right behind me. I didn’t even hear him come in, but that’s no surprise. My thoughts were loud enough to drown out the sound of his footsteps.
I let my eyes trail up his body and then back down, taking in the tight jeans, the plaid shirt with sleeves rolled up to expose muscular, heavily veined forearms, and the sparkling blue eyes.
He’s been in the shop again and smells of sawdust and sweat, and the mixture is so intoxicating that I have to catch my breath.
He also has a swipe of dirt across his cheek.
I reach up and wipe the dirt away, letting my fingers linger longer than they need to, and when his gaze meets my own, my breath leaves entirely.
My God, I love this man. I love the rough, uncut beauty of him, the way he takes care of this family at the expense of his own heart.
The big hands that can hold whatever we give him, and the smile that comes through far too rarely.
I even love the walls he puts up to protect himself, though I know I love those because they no longer keep me out. He’s let me under his skin and welcomed me home, taking down that gruff exterior and letting me see who he is on the inside.
“Just thinking about how much things have changed since we unpacked him,” I murmur.
His smile is slow as molasses, satisfied and so sexy I can hardly stand it, and when he puts his palm to my face I lean into it, needing to feel his skin against mine.
“Changed for the better, I hope,” he says.
I give him my own slow smile. “Better than better.”
He pretends shock at that. “Better than better? What does that even mean? Is that possible?”
I shrug and pretend I’m turning away. “That’s what I’ve heard. I don’t actually know.”
His hand leaves my cheek, grabs my arm, and jerks me back around in front of him, but instead of stopping me he pulls me all the way to his chest and crushes his mouth down on mine, and the movement is so sudden that I don’t see it coming.
And for a moment, I stiffen. He’s kissing me in the kitchen and Gabe might walk in and get upset.
A slice of a second later, though, I realize how stupid that is. Gabe might walk in, yes. But he won’t be upset. Because it’s the three of us, now, and that means we share everything.
I don’t have to hide Gunner from Gabe. I don’t have to choose Gabe over Gunner. I can have both, because they’ve both offered themselves to me.
I melt into the kiss and loop my arms around Gunner’s neck, gasping into his greedy mouth when he jerks me closer to him. He’s so big, so broad, that I could be terrified of letting a man like this touch me.
But he’s all mine, every inch of muscle promised to me, and I don’t feel anything but love.
He sinks into my mouth, taking the kiss deeper, and I open up for him to take more. He’s all smoke and wood, the rough musk of a man, and I can’t get enough. I want everything he can give me and more. I want it all night. Into tomorrow.
He must hear me because he slips his hands around my ass and lifts me quickly onto the counter, stepping between my legs and pressing his length against my pussy.
I grunt and start to rock my hips, needing the friction of his cock, and before long he’s pulling me forward and rocking his hips against me, a low growl rumbling in his throat.
When he pulls back and looks at me, his eyes are hot and he’s breathing hard.
But I know he’s waiting for me to tell him what I want.
“Please,” I say, unsure what I mean but knowing that I need something. “Please, Gunner.”
He places a slow, sensuous kiss on my neck, then bites the lobe of my ear. “Say it again,” he whispers.
“Please,” I moan. “Please, please, please.”
His chuckle vibrates against my skin. “My name, Little Bird. Say my name again.”
I throw my head back, desperate for more of him. “Gunner,” I breathe. “Please.”
He breathes against my neck like I’ve given him some blessing, and his hands go to the button of my jeans. He undoes them and jerks them roughly down my legs, leaving me bare and exposed to him. Then he spreads my legs further and lets his thumbs brush the wetness between my legs.
I nearly come undone at the sudden, unexpected touch, and I cry out.
Gunner grins at the sound, and brushes his lips against my own. “Good girl,” he murmurs. “Tell me how much you like it.”
He spreads me open and slides one large finger into me, and I gasp more loudly.
I can’t stop myself. Some part of me thinks I should be quiet, that I should take his finger without a sound, but I can’t keep quiet.
I’m out of my mind with need and I can’t keep my voice down.
When he slides his finger out, adds a second, and pushes them both into me, I cry out.
The sound summons Gabe from the workroom, and his wide shoulders appear in the doorway. I look to him, half horrified that he’ll see me spread out on the counter for his father, but his eyes are between my legs, watching what Gunner is doing to me.
And his expression is hot with need.
He crosses the kitchen to stand behind me, his hands already undoing his belt and pulling his cock out.
He’s running his hand up and down the length, stroking himself as he watches Gunner’s hand, and when he stops behind me, his hands come around to pull my shirt over my head.
A flick of his fingers and the clasp of my bra springs open, releasing my breasts.
Gabe takes them in his hands and leans forward to nuzzle into my neck, and when Gunner steps back, Gabe takes my mouth for his own.
I gasp at this new contact and Gunner’s sudden absence, but moments later my legs are spread more widely, and I feel a breath of hot air on my pussy.
I barely register this before Gunner runs his tongue from my ass up to my clit, licking every inch of me.
I jerk and try to pull away, but Gabe holds me in place, his hands squeezing my nipples and his lips keeping mine hostage.
Gunner’s hands pin my legs to the counter, refusing to let me go, and I’m spread and helpless in front of my men as they take what they want from me.
Gunner’s mouth is hot and demanding, his tongue pushing into my pussy and then retreating in time with Gabe’s tongue in my mouth, and when Gabe rolls one nipple in his big hands I think I might come undone.
I’m in Heaven, and I have no idea how I got here, but I never want to leave.
I want to spend the rest of my life spread out on this counter giving my men what they want.
Feeling them both entering me at the same time, and taking their promises as they offer them.
I’ve gone from feeling empty and unloved to feeling so full I can barely contain it.
And my boys have found something that brings them together.
Gunner pulls back enough to slide two fingers back into my pussy, then ducks down and takes my clit in his mouth, rolling it with his tongue, and my hips start jerking.
His fingers are crooking forward to hit the spot that I can’t deny and when he starts to speed up, I know I won’t last for much longer.
Gabe is kissing me more deeply, his hands busy on my tits, and Gunner’s fingers are spinning me tighter and tighter, driving me inexorably toward the darkness.
Gabe breaks off the kiss and takes my earlobe in his mouth. “Tell me,” he says hoarsely.
“What?” I gasp. “Tell you what?”
“That you’re all in,” he grinds out. “Tell me you’ll never leave us again.”
“Never,” I agree easily. “Never, never, never.”
It becomes a chant and now I’m jerking my hips in time to the words, the tension in my body building and building around Gunner’s fingers until my muscles start to contract and pulse. I’m going to come, I realize, and the moment I have the thought, Gabe’s mouth comes down over my own again.
When I scream with my release, he swallows every note, his hand on my chin so I can’t get away from him. And I think again that I want to stay here forever, with these men who have found their way into my heart and will never let go again.
Because this is safety. This is home. And this time, when it’s my choice, I’m going to choose to stay.