Chapter 37 #2
“I trust you to know what I can handle,” I correct him firmly.
“Massimo, I’ll take the apology that you did that, but I’m not angry about it.
You didn’t do it to hurt me or punish me, and you’ve clearly understood that it was across a line.
That doesn’t mean I’ll hold it against you.
I enjoyed it. Now we know what I can handle, and that I’m okay with you going that far.
Don’t be angry, please. I’m not. I liked it.
I liked you losing control. It made me feel good. Made me want to do it again.”
He doesn’t answer that, just watches me, like he’s sure I’m putting on some kind of act and saying things I don’t mean.
But I do. If this was anyone else, I’d be pissed, but not Massimo.
He’s been clear from the start. This isn’t an act to try and wear me down like Joey sometimes used to do.
This is genuine regret and remorse. I press tight against him, wrapping my arms around him and kissing the underside of his jaw.
He lets out a low sigh, his arms wrapping around me tightly as well.
“I only care that you are comfortable with me, Lucy,” he murmurs.
“I don’t want you to ever regret or question my intentions.
I’ll be more careful in the future, I promise.
” Then he gives a low, husky chuckle. “Though, next time, you might suck the soul right out of me with that wicked mouth.”
I flush and don’t look up at him, burrowing my face in his chest instead.
We don’t move for another minute until Massimo eases away, bringing his hand up to cup the side of my face. I lean into him, enjoying the comfort. “How do you feel now, cerbiatta?” he murmurs. “Better?”
I nod. “My mind finally feels quiet,” I whisper. And it does. All the swirling and panic is gone now, replaced by a calm that I haven’t felt in a long time.
“Good. I’m very proud of you, Lucy.” The praise has a shiver of pleasure racing down my spine.
Still, we stand there in the silence a little longer, basking it.
A sharp knock on the door startles me, and I freeze.
Oh God, who is on the other side of that door?
What did they hear? Horror starts to filter in, but Massimo doesn’t seem bothered.
Instead, he presses a kiss to my forehead, releases me and then opens the door.
I scoot slightly behind him, not wanting to be seen. I don’t think I can face whoever it is.
On the other side is an amused looking Alonzo. His eyes flicker to me but then he simply says, “Soren is a tad bit upset and I think he’d like his mother.”
Oh. My. God.
My horror is quickly overtaken by guilt.
Here I am, sucking on Massimo’s cock while my son needs me.
What kind of mother does that make me? I start to go around Massimo, but his hand clamps down on my arm, holding me firmly in place, even as I glare up at him.
“We’ll be right there,” Massimo tells Alonzo, who nods and turns to stride off.
I don’t even get a second to tell him to release me before he says simply, “Don’t.
” It’s a stern warning, without the tone to make me comply.
I’m still trying to process how he does that.
I glare up at him. “I can already see you starting to freak out again, Lucy. Soren is fine. Taking time for yourself is not something to feel guilty or upset about. That is why family and friends around are a good thing. You are not a bad mother for taking some time for yourself.”
How did he know what I was thinking? But I don’t have time to figure that out. I need to get to my son. “Okay,” I say absently, but he doesn’t release me. “Massimo,” I warn him.
“Lucy,” he warns right back, eyes direct. “I know you’re upset, and we’ll deal with that later, but I don’t want you feeling guilty.” He lets me go, and I don’t answer him, hurrying out of the room and back to Amara’s salon. I hear Soren crying before I walk inside.
Shit. The guilt rises again, but I force myself to push it down. Except, I skid to a stop when I realize that Nico’s got an annoyed look on his face as he looks at my son, now in Amara’s arms as she tries to soothe him. “Give him to me,” Nico orders, moving to her and holding out his hands.
Fear grips my chest. Is he going to hurt my baby?
I rush forward, ready to grab Soren, but then I stop again when Nico puts him in the crook of his arm, states in a stern voice, “That’s enough,” and actually makes Soren stop crying.
Soren stares up at him, face still flushed red and wet with his tears, but he watches Nico like he’s shocked to be this close to him.
“Good.” Nico looks at me and my shocked expression.
“He’s fine. Go back to whatever it was you were doing with Massimo.
” Then he turns back to the others and says, “Keep going. We need to figure this shit out.”
I stare at him, unsure if I want to snatch Soren away from him or not. Even a few of the others look surprised. Gia is looking at him like he’s sprouted a second head, but then she smiles, snuggling into his other side and cooing at the baby.
“I feel like I should be taking a picture of this moment,” Sienna whispers as she comes to stand next to me. “Gia said she wanted to wait for kids, but I don’t know if that’s going to be the truth for much longer.”
I’m too distracted to listen to her. I’m so focused on the fact that it’s Nico holding Soren. I still don’t trust him completely, but it’s not like I can tell the Don to give me my baby back. Can I?
I sense Massimo behind me. “He’s alright, cerbiatta,” he murmurs in my ear. “If he starts to cry I’ll get him.” His arm slips around me from behind and pulls me flush against him.
I instinctively settle into him, but I still keep checking on Soren and Nico.
And when I’m not looking at them, I’m trying to avoid Kida’s assessing gaze.
I have a feeling as soon as we’re done in here, she’ll be looking to find out just what Massimo and I were up to. And I’m not sure I’m ready to tell her.