Chapter Twenty - Thalia
“ARE YOU SURE you have to work on that assignment right now?” Sebastian asks, lying on his side, watching me. I built a pillow wall to keep him from invading my space. As much as Bash claims I’m a distraction, he’s just as distracting to me.
“Well, I didn’t get to work on it earlier, and Penelope is out exploring. This is my only time to do it without any distractions, no matter how hard you try to distract me,” I reply, refusing to look in his direction. If I do, there’s no way I’m getting this assignment done.
Sebastian groans, continuing his mission to distract me. “I can sit here all day watching you do your homework, but Owen is at Amelia’s, so we have the place to ourselves for once.” I know what he’s implying we can do instead, but I’m caught on the part about Owen.
My head quickly snaps to look at Bash. “That’s where he is? He said he was going to meet Blake.”
His widening eyes tell me he wasn’t supposed to tell me that. “Shit. Any chance you can forget I said that?”
“You are terrible at keeping anything a secret! I’m genuinely surprised you have lasted this far without blurting our relationship to Owen.” I shake my head, laughing at him.
Sebastian moves the pillow wall I created, pressing his lips against my cheek before trailing his way down my jaw. “Thalia, come on. You know you want to make out with me.”
Ignoring Bash is extremely hard because he’s relentless when he puts his mind to something. “You’re an annoying asshole,” I say, turning to look at Bash. He smiles, pulling me to straddle his waist.
“Have I told you that it’s a turn-on when you call me an asshole now?”
“I’m pretty sure it used to upset you,” I rest my hands on his firm chest.
“Only because you tend to bring out the worst of my temper by doing stupid shit. Throwing a party your first night back was not a great idea. I don’t like being an asshole, but I’m not a nice guy. You know this. I don’t plan on hurting you, nor do I want to, but I don’t mind the occasional asshole comment,” Sebastian says, squeezing my hip gently. However, at the mention of the party, I can’t help retreating into myself. This is my opportunity to talk to him about what I suspect has been happening with Vera.
“Bash, I didn’t throw that party.”
He leans up, grazing his lips teasingly over mine. “It doesn’t matter anymore. Everything ended up fine.”
Is it wrong how much it bothers me that he doesn’t want to hear what I’m attempting to say regarding the matter? I pull away, climbing off Sebastian to sit away from him on the bed, crossing my arms over my chest. “No, it didn’t end up fine. You were so pissed at me you wouldn’t even talk to me. Owen was disappointed, and I felt like I let everyone down for something that wasn’t even my fault. ”
The smile on his face drops as he sits up. I can see Sebastian trying to think before speaking. He drags a hand over his face, sighing. “I didn’t want to have a conversation with you because I thought you were the same person you were when you left, Lia. I risked a lot of great things in my life kissing you, only to have it stomped on minutes later. I understand now why you said what you did, but it did not erase how hurt I felt. That is the Thalia I had on replay in my head the fifteen months you were gone, which is why I didn’t feel like talking,” he explains calmly, and I take a deep breath.
“You didn’t even attempt to hear me out, though. You’re still not hearing me when I tried to tell you I didn’t throw the party. You brush me off or say it doesn’t matter, so you must still think there are pieces of the old Thalia here who would have thrown the party.”
Sebastian looks confused, and I don’t blame him. I’m also confused, but I still want him to hear me out. “Obviously there are still pieces of the old Thalia in you. Going to France didn’t erase everything about you.” He pauses to clear his throat. “I’m sorry if I’ve been brushing you off about it, but if you didn’t throw that party, then who did?”
I fall silent, replaying the whole night in my head. Vera came over. She brought Stacy and Jeremy, promising a rager. Stacy called her sorority friends, whom I also know. Vera knows them too. Jeremy called the basketball and swim team. I didn’t call and invite anyone over. I wanted pizza and to sleep.
My conversation with Penelope is still fresh in my mind because there is something off with Vera. I don’t know how to explain it to Sebastian. He won’t understand because I don’t even understand. I still haven’t had a chance to talk to her about how she’s been acting. I want things to be normal again between us, but do I even want that? Her shadiness is confusing on so many levels.
“Thalia?” he prods, and I rub my temples.
“Vera threw the party. I didn’t even invite her over that night. Owen said he talked to her and that she would stop by. I was jet lagged; I only wanted to eat pizza and sleep. I didn’t want to throw a party,” I explain nervously, finally getting my chance to tell him the truth.
I cover my face with my hands, trying to gather my thoughts together because I don’t want to spend this time fighting with him. I feel so stupid. I should have let it go. The comment about the party was supposed to be a joke, but Sebastian was so mad at me about it.
Sebastian pulls my hands away from my face to hold them in his, forcing me to look at him. “I’m sorry. If you say Vera threw it, then I believe you. I should have listened to you when you tried to tell me.”
Hearing Bash say he believes me means the world to me because I didn’t want everything to start on a wrong note. Except it did, and it caused so many messes. I quickly blink back the tears I feel forming, practically launching myself at Sebastian to hug him. His strong arms catch me and immediately wrap around me to hold me.
“Thank you.”
Bash lets out a shaky breath. “Lia, I have to tell—”
“Don’t ruin the moment.” I move my head from his shoulder to where I can easily kiss him again briefly. “I like you, and that’s so scary for me. We’re both risking things for this, and I’m taking that seriously. I appreciate you not giving up on me and believing me.”
His chocolate eyes stare intensely into mine, and I kiss him tenderly. Sebastian holds me close before leaning back, maneuvering me smoothly to lie on top of me. “I like you, too, in case that wasn’t clear.”
I can’t help smiling at Sebastian’s admission. I already know how he feels, but hearing him say it again is really nice. I lift my head to kiss him again as Bash deepens it quickly, his mouth moving hard against mine.
It’s a clash of lips, tongue, and teeth.
I want to forget arguing. That wasn’t the fun or angry kind of argument like we usually have. It was the kind of argument that reminds me of how much power I’m letting Sebastian fucking Walker hold over me. It’s scary.
At one point, I need a breather, but Bash has other plans. His fingers curl around the waist of my shorts, and I giggle breathlessly. “What are you doing?”
“Something I wish I could do more,” he admits, slipping his entire hand into my pants. I jerk underneath him in surprise, not expecting his hand to be as cold as it is. He teases my core, causing me to shift restlessly underneath him. “You’re wet, Lia.”
“Way to state the obvious. If I felt between your legs, I’m sure I’d find your dick hard. Unfortunately, I don’t think we have enough time to get a quickie in before someone gets back,” I reply, still trying to even my breathing, all while keeping my eyes on his face as he tests the waters. If Sebastian doesn’t stop, I’m not going to give a shit whether anyone comes home.
He slowly dips a finger into me as I bite my lip to prevent my moan from escaping at the penetration. “You’re right; we probably don’t have enough time,” Bash agrees, infuriatingly calm.
I grab the bedsheets with one hand, twisting them as he adds another finger. It’s satisfying to feel how hard he is, pressing into my leg from his position over me. “It’s a shame because that’s gotta be painful,”I say, noting how his lips quirk upward.
“I’m fine.”
I’m trying to keep my thoughts straight, but when Sebastian curls his fingers, I give him the reaction he’s looking for as I gasp his name. “Sebastian.”
“Yes?” he asks, repeating the motion with a knowing smile. Cocky son of a bitch.
My breath hitches, and I am trying to find the words I want to say, but I’m completely at his mercy. “Keep…doing that,” I manage to get out as he resumes the slow motion from before. My hips start to move on their own accord, trying to pick up the pace.
“Keep doing what?”
“Keep fucking me with your fingers, or I’ll kill you.” I exhale sharply, and he smiles playfully.
“You don’t have to kill me; I’m not stopping unless you ask me to. I want to do plenty of things to you and with you, but for now, you’ll have to settle for my hands,” he teases, and a soft moan rolls off my tongue. “I’d like to taste you as you call out my name. I want to feel your pretty pussy come on my tongue before I bend you over the side of the bed to fuck you senseless. Would that be okay with you?”
If I weren’t so damn wound up right now, I would consider wiping the smile off his face with some payback. “Fuck, Bash.” I can’t believe the effect he has on me. It’s not fair. It’s never been like this with anyone else.
“You’re beautiful, Thalia. Absolutely stunning.”
I’m unsure what’s doing more for me right now: his words or talented fingers. When Sebastian kisses me, I can feel him smile against my lips as I arch against him again. “I need to come. Please let me come.”
He kisses me again, swallowing the sound coming from my mouth. I’m confident this man is going to be the death of me. Bash uses his thumb to apply pressure to my clit, and the added stimulation is too much for me.
“Come for me, Lia. Come all over my fingers,” he whispers against my lips, and I reach my peak.
Sebastian winks at me as he sucks his fingers clean, and I’m wondering if I’ve gotten in over my head with him. He rolls onto his back, pulling me into his side. “Fuck, you’re incredible.”
“I’m incredible? You are crazy.” I laugh, looking up at him incredulously.
He smiles, trailing his fingers over my skin. “That’s okay. I don’t want you to move. I like holding you.”
I see the sizable bulge in his pants, and we might have enough time if we make it quick. I move to brush my hand over it, but he grabs my wrist, stopping me. “Bash,” I complain because it’s not fair that I’m satisfied, and he’s depriving me of helping him. How rude.
Sebastian laces our fingers together, pressing the back of my hand to his lips. “Thalia.”
“Let me help.”
“I’m okay. This was about you. I should’ve listened to you, and I’m sorry I didn’t.”
I’m not winning this one, but I guess in a sense, I did win. I close my eyes and listen to his heart’s steady beating. “It’s okay. I don’t blame you for not listening.”
“I will from now on,” he promises, and I honestly think I could fall asleep right now in Sebastian’s arms.
“Can I ask you a question?”
He laughs shortly, shaking my head in the process. “You just did, but ask another.”
“Do you like football?”
It takes Sebastian a moment to respond, and I know I’ve caught him off guard. “What kind of question is that? It’s my entire life,” he answers, but not really at the same time.
“I know it’s your entire life, but I’m asking if you like it.”
If Bash doesn’t want to discuss it, I’ll drop it.
By the time he replies, I’m teetering on the edge of falling asleep. Bash’s voice wakes me up immediately. “I think you’re the first person ever to ask me that. I love it with every part of me, but I can’t help wondering sometimes if there’s more out there. Football is the only real connection I have to my father. It’s such a huge part of my identity that I don’t know who I would be without it. It used to be about being like him, but now there’s all these expectations. Scouts are at every game, and some days it feels like everyone is waiting for me to fall from the pedestal they’ve put me on.”
The fact that Sebastian mentions his dad is surprising. In all the years I’ve known him, Sebastian’s parents have only been mentioned a handful of times—if even that. Bash never willingly brings them up with anyone.
“You should play because it’s all you want to do, not because you have expectations from other people. I’m sorry that pressure sits on your shoulders. It’s not fair to you,” I say carefully, keeping my eyes shut, and his hand tightens around mine, letting me know I said the right thing.
“You asked me what the tow guy said while I talked to him, and I lied when I said it was nothing. He told me to keep winning games and that the program wouldn’t be what it is if it weren’t for me. It’s a lot sometimes. I’m one person, and I can’t dictate the outcome of games. It’s a team effort, and people forget that. Football is something I love to do, but I don’t want the spotlight that comes with it. Unfortunately, it’s not a one or the other situation.”
I open my eyes for a second to see what expression is on Sebastian’s face, but he looks peaceful with his eyes shut. I close mine again, resting a hand on his chest, right over his heart.
“What would you do if football wasn’t the expectation?”
“I think I would travel like you and Penelope have. I’ve never really thought all that much about it. It’s been my and Owen’s dream to get drafted together since we started playing.” His breathing is starting to slow as his strong body relaxes against mine. “Why are you asking about all this?”
I cling to his body’s warmth, enjoying being near him. Sebastian’s always had this allure that I’ve tried to ignore. He’s so frustrating sometimes, but I get it. I get why people are drawn to him.
“It was something you said a few days ago about not wanting to be tied down, but you have too many responsibilities. I’ve been wondering about it,” I admit, breathing in the familiar scent of Sebastian’s body wash.
He falls silent, and I worry momentarily that I’ve pushed too far. It’s not like there’s much unsaid between us, but I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.
“Will you go somewhere with me on Sunday?” Sebastian asks quietly.
“Of course,” I reply immediately.
For a second, I think about where he would want to take me, but exhaustion combined with comfort ends with the two of us falling asleep on my bed, wrapped around each other.
I’m falling into a dangerous hole, but I don’t think I can do anything at this point to stop myself.