Chapter 9
9
AMARA
Rori is hilarious, and despite the tension she has with Alonzo, the ride to the plane is mostly stress-free. At least for me. I notice that Alonzo and Lazaro are both on edge, their heads constantly moving. Instead of allowing myself to get distracted by that, I focus my attention on Rori.
I haven’t had many positive relationships with women; most of them hate me on sight or just aren’t interested in getting to know me, but Rori seems genuine. Time will tell if it stays that way. However, the moment I tell her I do hair, her eyes light up in excitement.
“Oh my God!” she exclaims. “When we get back, I’ll have to charm someone into getting some supplies for us. Do you think you can help me touch this up?” She points to her hair. “It’s starting to fade, and I kind of want to do something fun with it. Any suggestions?”
I eye her hair. “May I?” I ask, holding up my hand. She nods and leans forward. I gently run my hands through her hair, testing it with my fingers. “You take really good care of it,” I tell her with a smile. “It should be pretty easy to freshen up. But what do you mean by fun with it?”
“I was thinking of adding some colored panels,” she explains. She pulls out her phone and shows me some example photos. “I’m really liking this dark purple color.”
I glance at it and then her head. “I think you can do it. Though, I don’t have much experience with these kinds of vivid colors. None of the ladies in town would be caught dead with them, so I haven’t practiced since I was in school.”
Rori waves that away. “I don’t care if it turns out horrible. I can rock a pixie cut, and did for a year when we were in college. Hair grows back.”
“It does, but most aren’t so casual about it. Why purple?”
“It’s my favorite color,” she admits with a grin. I glance at her black T-shirt and black pants, arching a brow at her. She chuckles. “Black helps you blend in, and with Hades’ fur being black, it’s extra camouflage. Hell, if I have to, I’ll dye my hair black, but emo goth girl is so not my style.”
“No, her style is pure witch,” Alonzo huffs.
Rori ignores him, clearly unfazed. “Anyway, we’ll figure it out when we get back. And don’t be surprised if Sienna wants you to do hers, too. She’s not as adventurous with her hair as I am, but she likes to change it up now and again.” Then she grins wickedly. “One time, when we were both young and stupid college freshmen, she decided that she was going to dye her hair on her own, and she wanted all these crazy colors. She’s a graphic designer, so she loves vibrant, bold colors, but she had no idea what she was doing, and this was before colorful hair became popular. She ended up with bright orange hair, like a pumpkin, with some patches of red and yellow that made it look like fall threw up all over her. I’ve never seen her so horrified. She wore a wig for months until it faded and she had a professional dye it back to her natural color. She’s never dyed it a bright color again.”
“Please tell me you have pictures,” Lazaro interjects, grinning wickedly at Rori.
“I do.” She grins back. “Perhaps we can come up with a fun way to get them to Alessio. You know, the next time Sienna pisses me off.”
An uncomfortable feeling settles in my chest as I see them looking at each other conspiratorially. Like they already have some kind of connection, despite them only just meeting. Maybe Rori is more his type. I mean, she’s taller and braver than me by far, and she’s clearly got a sense of humor that he appreciates.
I try to push the stupid insecurity down and look toward Alonzo instead, noticing he’s glancing at Rori in the rearview mirror. There’s jealousy in his dark eyes, plain as day. Hmm, it might not only be anger between these two, after all.
When his gaze catches mine, he quickly blanks his expression and looks away, but it’s too late. I know what I saw. At least I’m not the only one with conflicting feelings. But unlike him and Rori, Lazaro and I can never be anything. Those kisses in the bunker were nothing more than forced proximity. Now that we’re back in the real world, he’ll have his pick of women, and I need to learn how to navigate my new life.
The rest of the ride, I focus on getting to know Rori a bit more and loving on Hades, who eventually jumps up between the two of us, lying across us with a sigh of pleasure. Rori just rolls her eyes and scratches his back leg, while I pet his head. “You’re a sweet boy, aren’t you?” I coo, smiling. “Just one big cuddly bear.”
Alonzo snorts, but I ignore him.
When we finally reach the airstrip where the plane is waiting for us, a pit settles in my stomach. This is it. I’m officially leaving Arizona and leaving behind everything I’ve ever had. It’s not much, but it’s all I’ve ever known.
You were the one who said you wanted to leave town .
I ignore that thought, because I meant the town, not the state. And it’s not like I’m going on vacation. I’m going to meet people that are related to me, who had no idea until recently that I existed. Not to mention, I’ll be walking into the middle of a mafia war. What if it keeps getting worse? Am I heading to my death? I mean, my life has been rough, but I’m not suicidal.
For a moment, I consider making a run for it. Sure, they might try to chase me down, but I’m fast, and I’m sure I can find somewhere to hide. Maybe I can start again here in the city. I’ve been without a permanent home for years, so what’s the difference now? And with my barber’s license, I can find a job in a salon, or work as a waitress again. Anything is possible.
“Amara.” Lazaro’s voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I realize I’m the only one left in the car. He’s holding my door open, and from the look on his face, he knows exactly what I’m thinking. Instead of chastising me, he leans in quietly. “It’ll be fine. I promise. Trust me.” Then he reaches around me to unbuckle my seatbelt before taking my clenched hand in his and uncurling my fingers. He tenderly strokes his fingertips across my palm, then wraps his hand around mine. “I’ve got you, colombina .”
I blink. “You’ve called me that a couple of times. What does it mean?”
He smiles. “It means little dove. Small, beautiful, but also strong and smart. Now come on.” He helps me out of the SUV, and I let him.
Is that truly how he sees me? Or has he only cranked up the charm in hopes of getting into my pants? I just wish I wasn’t melting a little inside. Damn it.
I follow him up the steps of the plane, my nerves jumping with each one. I’ve actually never flown before, and I’m nervous that I won’t like it. Maybe Hades will cuddle with me.
When we reach the top of the steps and walk onboard, I realize this isn’t a normal plane. The ceiling is high enough that Lazaro and Alonzo barely have to duck their heads as they walk down the center aisle toward the back. There are plenty of seats toward the front, and I assume they’ll soon be occupied by the men who followed behind us in the other SUV. The seats also look comfortable as hell, which TV and movies have taught me is definitely not normal.
There’s a partition behind the rows of cushy seats that separates the front section from the rest of the plane, and I add another tally to the not-a-normal-plane column when I walk into a galley-style kitchen that looks like it’s made of black marble and dripping in gold. I pass two smiling women dressed in stylish, navy blue, fifties-era dresses, each with their hair pulled back into intricate styles and wearing pearls. One is blonde, the other a brunette, but it’s the blonde that I note first. Her eyes are a cold blue, and the minute they land on me, they harden, even though she doesn’t lose her wide smile.
I know that look. It’s the look worn by a woman who feels that someone is encroaching on her territory. However, I’m not sure if it’s just me or if she gave the same look to Rori. Instead of dwelling on it, I focus ahead and continue through the kitchen into the back section of the plane.
Holy. Fuck.
My jaw drops, and I stare, wide-eyed, at all the luxurious leather couches and chairs. There are even areas where four seats are grouped together around low tables. If I’m not mistaken, there are two desks, one on each side of the plane, each backed up to a solid wall and facing outward for privacy. There’s another door between them, and through it, I can see a large bed decked out in black, gilt-edged bed linens and at least a dozen pillows.
Whoever said ‘crime doesn’t pay’ was a big, fat liar. The mafia’s got bank.
Lazaro leads me to one of the groups of four, sitting me down on the inside near the window, with him on the outside. Rori slides in across from me, with a tight smile when Alonzo sits beside her. Alonzo doesn’t even glance her way; he just looks past Lazaro and barks an order in Italian. I look around for Hades, but then I feel a tail slap against my leg and hear a low groan as he flops on the ground at our feet. I smile, even as Alonzo’s jaw clenches tighter, and Lazaro eyes Hades warily under the table.
“Don’t worry, he’s good with flying,” Rori assures us. “He just likes to make sure we all know he’s here.”
“If he bites me, I’m going to be pissed,” Lazaro warns her.
“He won’t bite you unless I tell him to.” That earns her a glare from Alonzo, and she cracks a smug smile as she looks back at him. “He didn’t bite you. He just gave you a warning snap. And I ordered him to do that.”
“Of course, you fucking did,” he mutters.
I glance at Lazaro, who is trying to hide a smile. He winks at me and lets the subject drop.
It’s another twenty minutes before we finally start to taxi down the runway, and my stomach jumps as the roar of the engines fills the plane. I grip the armrests, my nails digging into the leather so tight I’m sure to leave a mark, but I don’t care. Holy shit, this is terrifying.
Lazaro promptly pries my fingers up and envelopes my hand in his, letting me dig my nails into him instead. As we finally leave the ground and start our ascent, I grit my teeth to keep from screaming. No way am I going to embarrass myself by doing that.
Finally, after what feels like forever, the plane starts to level out, and the engine noise reduces to a manageable level. My heart starts to climb back out of my throat and ears. Yeah, I don’t think I like this at all.
Lazaro lowers his lips to my ear and murmurs, “Well done, colombina . That was the hardest part.”
Until we land. Nope, not going there yet. That’s a worry for hours from now.
“So, ah, what do we do now?” I ask awkwardly, looking around.
Lazaro and Alonzo smile at me, and it hits me that it’s the first time I’ve seen Alonzo smile. I blink, surprised at just how much he looks like Lazaro when he does that, and how warm it makes him. And they have another brother? How the hell do the women not fall into puddles at their feet when the three of them are together?
“Now, you do whatever you like, Amara,” Alonzo informs me. “Are you hungry?” The mention of food has my stomach growling, making both men chuckle, and Rori gives me an amused smile. I flush in embarrassment. “We’ll start with that then.” He climbs out of his seat, careful not to disturb Hades, and heads up to the divider.
“Do you normally sit away from your men?” I ask Lazaro.
“If we have a lot of people, yes, but sometimes, if there aren’t many of us, we all sit here,” he explains. “Oftentimes, the men want to keep that separation. It’s well known how close we are to the Caruso brothers and the Don, considering our positions, and if they want to talk about things they don’t want us to hear, then they keep their distance. Others like to keep to the old ways and don’t socialize with those above them in the ranks.”
That actually makes some sense. “Maybe they find you intimidating.”
Lazaro shrugs. “If they do, all the better. It keeps them loyal.”
I don’t see that, but there’s plenty about the mafia that I don’t understand. Yet.
Alonzo comes back with the now-smiling blonde stewardess and a pair of menus. He sits and takes them from her to hand to Rori and me. “Pick whatever you like, and Camilla will get it for you.”
The choices are few, but they are still far fancier than anything I’ve ever eaten before. Steak, salmon, caviar, gourmet pasta dishes that I can’t even hope to pronounce, and some also fancy salads. It all sounds so good that my mouth starts to water, but practicality tells me I need to remember how many people are on this flight. They’ll need to eat, too, and they’re all big men, so they may want more than one plateful.
“While they’re looking at the list, can I get you anything?” Camilla asks Alonzo and Lazaro, a soft breathiness in her tone. She leans forward ever so slightly, at just the right angle to show off her legs and the curve of her breasts. She might be covered up to her neck, but I swear her dress is a size too small, considering how it shows off her figure. “Anything at all?”
I nearly roll my eyes as I read the menu. Do women really think that sounds seductive? Or maybe it’s just me who thinks it’s weird because, clearly, it’s worked before. She’s far too familiar to not have slept with one or both of them. Or worse, both of them together.
Jealousy flares again, but I ignore it. There’s nothing I can do about it, and besides, this is exactly what I wanted, right? Lazaro can focus on someone else, then I’ll forget about him, and he’ll forget about me.
Why does that thought fill me with hurt and anxiety? I’ve lost my ever-loving mind.
“I’ll have the salmon,” Rori says abruptly, her tone sharp. My gaze flies up to hers, but the only thing I see on her face is a mild annoyance as she looks at the stewardess — who now has her hand on Lazaro’s shoulder, her blood-red nails almost absently stroking the edge of his lapel, but I know a statement when I see it. My stomach sours. “And a steak,” Rori adds before Camilla can reply. “Nothing on it. Cooked or rare, doesn’t matter.”
“Certainly,” Camilla says sweetly. Then her gaze cuts to me, and her smile takes on a sharp edge. “And for you?”
“Just a garden salad, please,” I answer, setting the menu down on the table.
Lazaro’s eyes narrow on me. “You haven’t eaten all day, Amara, and that’s not enough.” He sounds very displeased at my choice.
“I don’t eat much,” I tell him tightly. “Besides, there are other people on the plane that need to eat too.”
“I don’t give a flying fuck about them,” he snaps, face darkening. “They have all eaten today, and you haven’t. There will be no more starving yourself. Ever. Pick something else.”
Anger and embarrassment war within me. I don’t need his judgment or his orders. “No. The salad. Thank you.”
I look at Camilla, who isn’t doing a very good job of hiding her scowl. I hold her stare, the same way I’ve done countless times with women just like her. I can see the moment she gets uncomfortable, because she looks away before turning her attention back to Lazaro and Alonzo. “And for you both? Would you like your usuals?” she asks.
“Bring one of everything,” Lazaro barks at her, making her jerk in surprise, and a trickle of hurt leaks into her expression when he adds a sharp, “Go.” She nods stiffly and shoots me a hateful look as she walks away, clearly blaming me for his outburst.
“You’re an idiot,” Rori mutters, but I don’t know if that’s directed at me or Lazaro. I’m too focused on the glaring match he and I are having.
“You don’t need to be so rude to her,” I scold him. “You also don’t get to dictate what I eat. Or don’t eat, in this case. All you’re doing is depriving your men and wasting food that I won’t eat anyway. And while you and Alonzo are both giants, I doubt your stomachs can handle all that food either.”
“When you are depriving yourself, then fucking right, I’m going to dictate what you eat,” he snaps back. “You’re not starving yourself under my watch, Amara. Ever. Get used to it. I don’t care if you can’t eat it all, but you will eat. Making yourself sick is unacceptable.”
Alright, anger wins. The audacity of this man. “Fuck you, Lazaro.” I seethe. “You have known me for less than twenty-four hours. You think you have any kind of right to tell me what to do? You goddamn fucking don’t. And since you don’t seem to care about airing my business in front of everyone, I’ll do the same for you. You and me? We are not a thing. We will not be a thing. Ever . All the shit you keep spouting about me doing things the way you want because you think you know what’s best for me is a bunch of macho bullshit that I will never subscribe to. I’ve put up with it my entire life, and just like I did with them, I’ll make sure I never give you what you want. You want someone to order around and fuck when you feel like it, go back to Camilla, who clearly wants your attention, and has had it in the past. Anything that happened in that bunker will never happen again. Do you understand?”
His eyes are dark, tumultuous, and his expression hard. Ooooh, someone doesn’t like that. He opens his mouth, no doubt to blast me with more of his bullshit, but Rori must realize just how badly that would end because she interjects, “Quit while you’re ahead, big guy. Amara, let’s go and cool off for a minute, huh? Goliath, you need to talk some sense into your brother, or we’re going to be dealing with a dead body.” Then she gets to her feet, looking at Alonzo expectantly.
Surprisingly, Alonzo doesn’t argue and moves aside to let her through. Hades follows, and they both turn to wait for me. Lazaro still looks like he wants to fight, but he must think better of it as he stiffly gets up and out of the way.
I walk past him without so much as glancing in his direction, and follow Rori toward the back bedroom. A smirk plays on my lips when she stops Hades just outside the door, giving him a simple “Guard” command before she shuts it. No one will be disturbing us unless they can get through him.
The bedroom is just as spacious as the rest of the plane. There’s another desk in here, a small sitting area, and a compact bar that looks well-stocked. Adjoining the bedroom is an ensuite, though I can’t make out much of it with the light off.
“You okay?” Rori asks me, her voice full of concern.
I look at her, expecting to see other emotions on her face, but she looks genuine enough. For a moment, I’d thought she only brought me back here to warn me off or something, but that’s not the vibe I’m getting. “I’m fine,” I tell her. I don’t know this woman, and I’m not going to lay everything at her feet. She might use it against me, or tell the others how to.
It’s happened before. I learned my lesson, and I’m not going to make that same mistake again.
She arches a brow. “Look, I know you don’t know me, and you’re probably not feeling very trusting right now, and I don’t blame you, but you clearly aren’t fine. I know exactly how…overbearing these men can be. It’s overwhelming, and it just makes you want to push back harder. I’m in your corner, no matter what. I’m big on women supporting women, and Sienna is too, so if you want to vent, feel free.”
I want so badly to spill it all, but still, I hold back. “He’s just being an asshole. Since he rescued me, he thinks he gets a say in how my life goes now. He seems to think that I can’t survive without him, that he’s the reason I’ll be able to function in this whole mafia shit-storm.” I try to calm my flaming temper. God, I’m so sick and fucking tired of people trying to decide my life for me.
“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Rori huffs, moving to sit cross-legged on the bed, resting her hands on her knees. “I’m quickly coming to understand that the way the men in this life act is not the norm. Take Sienna and Alessio, for example. He walked into her apartment and informed her that she was the long-lost daughter of the De Lucas, and that he was there to take her back to her family. Oh, but not before implying that she would be required to fulfill a marriage contract because her sister married another guy. She bolted, and he spent the next however long chasing her around Europe trying to bring her back with him, because he wasn’t taking no for an answer. Considering he’s Alessio’s bodyguard, Lazaro is probably going to be a lot like him.”
“Lazaro told me that the marriage contract was done the moment Gia married her husband. So he lied to me about that?” Why am I not surprised?
“No, he didn’t,” she assures me. “But Alessio thought it was funny to mess with Sienna, and it backfired. The man is completely obsessed with her, just like she is with him, though she tries to play it down. My point is, when these men see something they want, they go after it hard, and they’re direct. If Lazaro wants you, he’s not going to hide it. Clearly, he’s said as much. But the important thing is that he won’t force you. They may be a lot of things, but from everything I’ve seen, they aren’t that .” She gives me a cool smile. “If they were, they wouldn’t be for long. I have connections.” She winks.
“He obviously hasn’t gotten that memo because he ignores everything I’m saying and just continues on as if I haven’t even spoken, acting like he can tell me what to do and demanding that I eat more. I’m going to punch him in the balls again if he doesn’t cut it out,” I vow.
“Wait, you punched him in the balls?” Rori gapes, laughing uproariously. “Oh, fuck, I wish I was there to see that. Please tell me you yelled ‘timber’ or something when he crashed to his knees.”
“No, but I did think it,” I admit with a smirk.
Rori wipes her eyes, smearing her mascara a little. “Good. Sometimes, you need to remind these guys that you’re not helpless, and there’s nothing like a nut shot to get that point across.” She takes a breath to get herself under control before she adds, “But I will tell you that when it comes to any of the men, they take the safety and comfort of the women around them very seriously. That’s why Alonzo lost his shit when he realized I hadn’t stayed in the SUV and was shooting at those guys back in that town. He doesn’t care about my skills, he only cares that I’ve put myself in harm’s way. Lazaro is doing the same thing with you now, because he’s worried you’re going to make yourself sick if you don’t eat enough.”
“You sound like you’re defending him.”
She shakes her head. “Nope, just explaining. I’ve been around men like them in one way or another my entire life. The only difference is that they won’t truly force you. I’ve known men who will literally tie you to the seat and force-feed you until you choke. Or, worse, strap you down and sedate you so you can’t fight back, then put a feeding tube down your nose.”
I stare at her, horrified. “People do that?”
She nods. “You see a lot in my line of work. I’m a big advocate of bodily autonomy and personal choice, and I wholly agree that you should get to choose what you eat and what you do, but Lazaro is going to be a tough one to convince of that.” Then she gives me a curious look. “You don’t have to tell me, but are you fighting him because you really don’t like him, or because you like him too much and you’re terrified of what that means?”
“I…I don’t know,” I mutter, not sure if I’m ready to admit the answer even to myself, let alone her.
“Well, you have time to figure that out, but I want you to know, Amara, that you can always count on me in your corner. And if you need a buffer between him, or your cousins, then I’m that person. Or even his sister. I will be that person if you need me to be.”
“Why? You don’t even know me.”
“Because I’ve been in places where I don’t know who to trust, and I desperately needed someone. I also know how hard it is when your whole life has been turned upside down and you’re left floundering. You’ve been taken away from your home and your business, and thrust into a world that the majority of people think of as dark, dangerous, and taboo. On top of all that, you suddenly have this whole new family you’re about to meet a part of, some of whom are even darker and more dangerous than you’d ever believed to be possible. Not Sienna and Gia, of course. I know you’ll like them, but you’ll see it for yourself.”
“If you say so.” I sigh. “I’m honestly just too tired and stressed to think about it.”
She nods and smiles. “Well, how about I go out there, get us some food, and you and I sit in here and you show me how to do some fun styles with my hair? I’m always up for new looks. And then you can tell me your ideas for when you eventually get to do it.”
It sounds almost normal, and I much prefer that option to going back out there to face Lazaro. I smile at her. “Yeah, that sounds like a nice idea.”
Maybe things won’t be so terrible if she really is in my corner, but I’m still going to hold myself back for now. Pretty words and false promises are a dime a dozen, and only time will tell if I’m right or wrong to trust her as much as I already am.
It will also give me time to figure out what the hell I’m going to do about Lazaro. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s out there right now screwing Camilla or the other one while I’m in here.
I just wish that thought didn’t fill me with such jealousy.