Chapter 27
27
AMARA
I groan in discomfort at the soreness between my legs as I hobble to the bathroom. Last night after we got back to our room, Lazaro insisted we shower before we both collapsed into bed. I was so tired that I didn’t even hear him leave. I woke up to the bed next to me empty and cold, and I’m almost glad no one is around to see me. If this is how things are always going to feel the morning after, I might need to invest in an ice pack or limit how many times I allow Lazaro near me.
I eyeball the shower and then decide, no, I need to soak. I turn on the faucet and grab a towel and some bath salts and bubbles. I groan again when I realize I’m going to have to step up and over the edge to get into it, and considering how sore my legs are right now, I might not even be able to lift them that high. Being short really is annoying sometimes.
I glance down at myself, frowning at the beard burn marks on my inner thighs. Okay, I’m going to have to work on Lazaro’s beard, because no way am I dealing with this every time. I hiss when I touch one of the tender spots. Yeah, okay, I need to go down and find the oil I asked to be ordered for the salon. Lazaro’s going to be buying a lot of it, because I am dousing him in the stuff.
I glance at the tub, see that it’s plenty full, and turn off the water. Before I get in, I need to check if I have any other injuries from our time last night. I search through the cabinets until I find a hand-held mirror. I take a deep breath, spread my legs a little while gritting my teeth against the stretch, and try to see what the hell is going on down there.
Big mistake.
“Holy shit!” I screech, horrified. My thighs are rubbed raw, and so is everything else down there. I’m so swollen and red in places that I’m pretty sure I’ll never be able to take his dick again. “If this is what I look like on the outside, what the hell do I look like on the inside?” I whine.
“Ahh, Amara, are you okay?” a cautious voice says behind me, startling me, but I’m still too shocked to do anything but glance over my shoulder at the women filling the doorway. Gia looks frightened, Sienna concerned, Rori amused, and Sofia on the brink of hysterics.
“No. No I am not okay,” I tell them harshly. “Everything aches, it feels like I did the splits for like a hundred hours straight, and it looks like Freddy Krueger scratched the hell out of my thighs. Not to mention, I fucking told him that he probably would split me in two, and it’d be blood, death, and carnage down there. I can’t see inside, but I’m so swollen that I’m not going to be able to find my vagina anytime soon. So no, I’m not okay.”
They all share a look, and then they start to laugh. I glare at them, but especially Sofia and Rori, who are practically doubled over. At least Gia is trying to control herself. She takes a couple deep breaths and walks calmly toward me. “How about you get into the bath? We can figure everything else out from there?” she suggests gently, stopping a few short feet away, hand outstretched like she’s not quite sure if she should touch me or not.
Considering I’m standing here with my ass out, I kind of get it.
“It’s my own fault,” I tell her morosely. “I said I was good, and totally ignored my own warnings. I mean, I told him so many times it was too big, and now this.” I wave at myself. “I wouldn’t be surprised if my insides are bruised.” More laughter erupts behind me, which I ignore. I focus on Gia, who looks like she’s trying very hard to keep her composure.
“A hot bath will help, so climb on in,” she encourages. “And hand me the mirror, because it won’t help.” She holds out her hand to me. “Come on. Give it to me.”
I reluctantly hand it over and allow her to lead me to the tub. I hiss and groan as I climb in, sinking into the heat of the water and the fragrant bubbles. I moan and close my eyes, the heat of the bath loosening some of my muscles and soothing some of my aches, though the abrasions on my thighs certainly don’t feel the best. Definitely dousing his beard in oil at the first opportunity. He’ll be so slick that he’ll slide right out of there.
“Oh my God, I had no idea I needed that laugh so much,” Sofia gasps, drawing my attention. I turn my head to glare at her. I should probably be more wary of her, but she’s laughed at my pain, so fuck that. She wipes at her eyes, smearing her mascara a little bit. Rori is much the same, and I glare at her too. Sienna is also wiping at her eyes, a huge grin on her face as looks at me, not the least bit repentant.
“We wanted to check on you and make sure you were alright,” Sienna manages to admit, her voice a little hoarse from laughing. “But it looks like you’ve been busy. I think we need to get the full story.”
“What more of a story do you need?” Rori snickers. “She fucked the giant, her poor hooha is paying the price, and the man either needs to lose the beard or find a way to soften it.”
“Oh, definitely soften it,” Sienna agrees with a quick nod. “The way a beard feels when your man is going to town down there? Nothing better.” She gives a blissful sigh.
“Alessio must oil his beard, I take it,” Rori remarks drily.
“He does.” Sienna looks at Gia. “Does Nico do his beard?”
“Ah, yes, I think so,” Gia replies shyly, blushing furiously. “I never seem to have too much beard burn when he’s…ahh…down there.”
“Alright, so we can all agree that Lazaro is the problem,” Sienna proclaims smugly. She moves closer to the tub, sitting on the edge as she looks down at me with a grin.
“Lazaro has always been a problem.” Sofia snickers as she and Rori also make their way further into the room.
I glance around them but don’t see Hades. Rori must read my mind because she says, “I left him in our room to relax for a bit. It’s been a heavy couple of days.” The women make noises of sympathy.
Then, Sofia steps up next to the tub and asks, “So what brought all this on? And why the hell were you standing here with a mirror? Not that the sight wasn’t interesting, but darling, surely it can’t be that bad.”
I want to spout off that she’s insane if she thinks the state of my crotch isn’t bad, but I hold back. “I feel weird answering that. You’re his sister.”
“So?” she tosses back. “Darling, you and I are going to be excellent friends because I think you and Lazaro are going to be excellent together, so we need to get you past that. Do I want to know some of these things? No, of course not. But as far as I’m concerned, my brothers are eunuchs, so I disassociate anything that’s said about them as if they are completely different people.” Then she grins. “Besides, you’re going to have to hear about my man when I call to complain about him to you.”
Something warm fills my chest, and it has nothing to do with the tub. I really would like to have a good relationship with Sofia. Well, with all of them, but especially her, considering she’s Lazaro’s family. However, what she’s asking seems weird. At least in my own head. “I’ll try, but it’s still weird.”
“That’s all I’m asking for. Now, back to the topic at hand. What the hell did we walk into?”
I groan again. Embarrassment starts to replace all the other emotions swirling around inside me. “Me losing my mind,” I finally reply. “Sorry, I’m just…I’m not used to this kind of thing, and I’m overthinking everything.”
They all share a glance before Sienna looks at me and asks carefully, “When you say ‘not used to this kind of thing’, do you mean dealing with a man as…large as Lazaro, or do you mean at all?”
I freeze at her question, and my blood runs cold. Shit. That is a loaded question that I’m not sure if I’m prepared to answer in full. Or even at all. My silence seems to be answer enough, though. I’m terrified to tell them the truth. I don’t want to see pity or accusations in their eyes. “It’s complicated,” I manage to utter.
They’re silent until Rori leans in and says softly, “Amara, you don’t need to overshare with any of us, but I promise that you can trust us. None of us are going to judge you. What you’ve dealt with back in your town, that’s not here. That’s not any of us. They are your family.” She points at the other women, including Sofia. “And I am your friend. Those are things you haven’t had before. If you’re willing, you can tell us as much or as little as you want, knowing that we are going to support you. We’re not going to shame you, or point fingers. I promise.”
I look up at her, my throat thick. I’ve always wanted friends and family, someone I could talk to and share things with, but I’ve been hurt so many times that sharing feels like a monumental risk. I’d have to put myself in a vulnerable position again. I look at the other women and see concern, worry, and even encouragement on their faces. Two of those faces look so much like my own that it almost makes the hurt worse. Imagining that it could have been them in my place, it breaks something in me.
Can I trust them? Really trust them? I think about the salon downstairs, and our few discussions. They’ve welcomed me into their group without any hesitation, and so far I haven’t felt like they’re doing it for their own gain or to trap me in some way. God, why can’t things be easy?
“You don’t have to tell us, Amara,” Gia says softly, and oh so gently that I can feel tears brimming, and I furiously blink them back. “We can leave it be and you tell us when you’re ready.”
“Does Lazaro know?” Sofia asks carefully. I give her one short nod. “Then that’s all that matters. If he knows, and you trust him to know the full story, then you can piece it together for us as you’re ready.”
Everything inside me is urging me to trust them, but maybe to spare them some of the details. I don’t want to horrify them either. I swallow hard, and finally, I push the words out. I tell them about the abuse, the pain, and the accusations of the townspeople for the past decade. Their faces are awash in emotions by the time I’m finished. Shock, pain, grief, sympathy, and finally, incandescent rage.
I jump when Sofia starts spouting off something vicious in Italian, stalking away to the other side of the bathroom before coming back and repeating the whole thing over and over. I stare at her wide-eyed, then glance at the others. Gia looks a little amused, and when she looks back at me, she explains, “She’s cursing every single person who ever hurt you, and vowing them some very creative punishments. There’s something about a pig’s tusk, a black widow spider, and a knife, but I don’t know how it all works together.” Then she grins. “Just saying, if we’re even in a spot where we need to split up in teams, I want to be on hers, because damn, she’s scary enough for the both of us.”
“We need to take some Italian lessons, because I really want to learn how to curse like that,” Sienna says with a grin. “Make things interesting when Alessio pisses me off. Which is all the time.” Then she looks at me seriously and gently reaches out to rest a hand on my hair. “Thank you for trusting us enough to share that with us, Amara. That would have been hard.” Her eyes turn sad. “It’s not the same, not at all, but my mother was raped when she was younger, and it affected her for the rest of her life. She wasn’t able to have children, and she spent all of my life preparing me to fight someone off if I needed to. You’re so strong for being able to push yourself to become who you are. To show those sick fucks that you are not going to let them hurt you anymore. Every day that you get up and fight through, you prove to them that you won.”
Damn it. Tears start to spill silently down my cheeks. I lean into her hand, desperately needing that contact. Her fingers move gently through my hair, soothing me. Rori moves to lean against the back of the tub, behind my head, and she places her hand on the base of my neck, giving it a gentle squeeze. She already knew some of it from my outburst the other day. “You’re safe now, babe,” she murmurs. “You have all of us for always, and that includes for the times when the demons try to raise their ugly heads. If your man isn’t around, one of us will be.”
Gia nods her agreement, her own eyes wet as she eases closer to sit on the other end of the tub. “Even if you just want to cry but don’t want to do it alone. Or if you want to scream and break things. I can make a room here with a bunch of stuff in it and you can smash it all to pieces. We’re always going to be here for you. We couldn’t be there then, but now we can.”
I start to sob. I lift my knees out of the water and curl forward to press my face to them as all the emotions pour out of me. The anger, the despair, the hope, the fear. I hear someone quietly murmuring, and then I feel Sienna and Rori’s hands pull away. My head shoots up, and I watch through tears as Sofia, in only her bra and underwear, climbs into the tub with me. Water sloshes as she firmly pushes at my knees to lower, and then she reaches forward and pulls me into her, wrapping her arms around me.
She holds me and rocks me as I cry. I turn my face into her shoulder, clinging to her desperately. She cradles me silently until the sobs start to subside. “I’m?—”
“Hush,” Sofia orders, making me clamp my mouth shut in surprise. Her eyes are dark, tumultuous, as she stares into mine, and her expression is unyielding. “There will be no more apologies, Amara. Ever. You have nothing to apologize for, do you understand?” I slowly nod, unsure of what else to do. “Good. I understand the anger you feel, the desperation to silence the ghosts in your mind. You have the strength to push them back and the ability to rip that power from them. And you have us, and our family, to hold you up when you need it, to offer a hand when you feel like you’re drowning. And by family, I mean everyone here, my family, and the Carusos. All of us. Okay?” I nod again, unable to say a word. “Good.” She presses a kiss to my forehead and hugs me tight again.
After another moment, I pull away and move back to the other side of the tub. “Thank you, all of you.” I look at them all. Each of them have shed tears with me, but they’re smiling as they wipe them away. “Being with Lazaro yesterday was my idea, not his. He resisted a lot. He wanted to take things slow but I didn’t. Eventually I convinced him, and well, you know what happened next. And then we did it again in the salon after you all left.” I can’t help but smirk at that.
“I think we all figured that out when we saw the hickeys on your neck,” Sienna teases lightly. “Girl, I had no idea Lazaro was a vampire.” Then she winks. “But it’s hot, isn’t it?”
I blush. “I’m not used to how swollen and sore I am this morning,” I admit. “And I was kind of freaking out. Not to mention, worrying I’m still, you know, leaking, all over the place.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s always fun,” Sofia laughs. Then she gives me a wicked grin as she leans against the other side of the tub. “If you ask me, it’s just a sign you were having a damn good time. Though, I agree that for your first time, it might have been a bit much.”
“Speaking of the mess though, and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but I take that to mean you’re not on any kind of birth control or anything?” Rori asks carefully.
I freeze. Oh shit. Oh fucking shit. “No,” I whisper, horrified and trying to count in my head. “I never even thought about it. I…before, they always wore protection other than that final time, so I never had to think about it. And, well, I wasn’t thinking about it. I was too drugged out to worry about any of this.”
“Don’t panic,” Sofia says firmly. “I’ll put out a call and we’ll get you something. Is there any chance you could be in the right window to get pregnant?”
“I don’t think so,” I say carefully. “I should be getting my period any day now, but yeah, I need to get on something. There is no way that I can have a baby right now.”
“Leave it to me and I’ll get it sorted,” Sofia reassures me.
I relax. “Thank you.”
“As for the rest of it,” Sienna says, drawing my attention. “You’re going to be sore for a few days, but it will pass. It’s normal. As you and Lazaro spend time together, things will ease up, but for the first few times, it’s going to be a bit uncomfortable.”
“Drink lots of water,” Gia adds with a wry smile. “I learned that too. I was a virgin before Nico, and even when he was trying to be gentle, it still left me sore. Water helps.”
“You might also benefit from some exercise and light strength training,” Rori chips in. “It will help with stamina and endurance and make you a bit more flexible, which helps, trust me.”
“She says that from experience,” Sienna quips. “The girl had a whole weekend marathon with one guy in college, and she didn’t walk right for two weeks. Or at least she bitched and moaned about it for that long.” She laughs when Rori shoves her off the edge of the tub, making her stumble to her feet.
“Like you didn’t have that weekend with the guy from your art class that time,” Rori scoffs. “He was a nerd, but boy did he have you screaming. Or have you forgotten that time security was called to make sure you were still alive, and he had you suspended while he did wicked things to you?”
Sienna’s face flushes, and she glares at Rori. “You were the one who called them,” she growls at her. “All because you thought it would be funny. Do you know how much trouble we almost got in? He never talked to me again after that, and he transferred schools like a week later because he was so embarrassed.”
“He changed his major to business, and now he runs a successful sex club,” Rori snickers. “Or was it not you who got an invitation to visit it a few years ago so he could thank you in person?”
“Y-You went to a sex club?” Gia stammers out. “Oh my God. And did you guys, ah, rekindle for old times sake?”
Sienna grins wickedly. “Well, he did invite me.”
“Lucky bitch,” Sofia laughs. “Have you told Alessio he’s going to have to step up his game?”
Sienna winces. “No, we haven’t gotten into past relationships and situationships. Mostly because I know if I tell him any of that, he’ll probably kill the guy, and I don’t want that on my conscience.” Then she glares at Rori. “So we’re not going to tell him, are we, Aurora?”
“Oooh, using my full name,” Rori jokes. “Lucky for you, I have no interest in seeing the man die, so I won’t say anything. But piss me off enough in the future…” She grins evilly. Sienna rolls her eyes, but she must not be worried about it because she simply turns back to me and says, “All of this to say, it gets better and easier.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” I say with a smile. “I’m already feeling better from the heat of the water, so I guess I’ll be taking lots of baths.” I glance around the bathroom. “That won’t be a hardship.”
We all grin at each other until Sofia stands up, water and bubbles sluicing off her and her black bra and underwear. She grins at me. “I’ll need to borrow some of your clothes, darling, or I’m going to be walking out of here naked. Though I’m not sure if anything you have will fit me.”
“I have something,” Rori offers. “We’re closer in size, though your boobs are bigger. Dry off and I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll hop in the shower quickly, then we’ll get out and let Amara get dressed,” Sofia agrees, looking at me questioningly. “Good. Then, we’re going to your salon, and I want you to have a look at this mop.” She points at her hair that’s also a bit damp from the pieces that fell out of her style and got wet from the bath. “I need it thinned out a little, and a fresh style.”
I smile. “I can do that. But I don’t think I can wash your hair yet.”
“Yes, you can,” Gia butts in excitedly. “That’s actually why we came up here. The contractors have already finished, so you’re fully operational now.” She claps her hands happily. “After all this, we need to spend some time down there. Have a real girls’ day.” Then she pauses and gives me a sheepish smile. “Well, if you don’t mind. You’re going to be doing a lot of it, so I shouldn’t assume.”
I smile at her. “No, I love doing this. It’s not a chore, and I miss it. I don’t like being idle too much. And thank you, Gia. I really do appreciate how much you guys are helping me.”
She waves that away. “No, thank you, Amara. This is so much fun, and we need that with everything going on. I’m just so glad to have a sister and cousin around, along with new friends. If I had to go through all of this in this big house alone, I’d be going crazy by now.”
“Or you’d finally give in to your desire to mess with Nico as much as you want to,” Sofia calls as she steps into the shower and washes away the bubbles. Moments later, she steps back out and wraps a towel around herself. “Alright, let’s give Amara a bit of privacy and then we’re heading downstairs.” They file out, shutting the bathroom door behind them.
I sit for another minute, feeling so much lighter than before. Lazaro is amazing, but it’s different to finally have women in my life too that actually see me as an equal instead of a rival. As a friend instead of an enemy. I allow myself one more moment to bask before I force myself up and out of the tub, only groaning a little at the stretch of the movement. It’s not gone, but it’s better. Thank God.
It takes me another twenty minutes to shower, dry off, and dress, and when I emerge, Sofia is once again dressed, but there’s a new member in the group. I smile at Massimo, who winks when he sees me. “Hello, little sister. I came to see if you might be hungry, but I hear you’ve been plotting. Of course, I want to join in. So, who are we going after first? I think we need to start carefully, don’t want to alert too many to our plan. Urso is a whiny bitch, so I suggest Zeno.”
I laugh along with the rest. “We were going to head down to the salon,” I inform him. “But I’ll keep that in mind if any of you get on my bad side again.”
“If I ever get on your bad side, I’m getting out of striking range.” Massimo snickers. When the others look at me curiously, I blush. “Oh, so they don’t know? You see, ladies, my new little sister, she has a mean right hook, and when you get in her way and make her angry, she punches you in the balls.”
They all look at me in shock, and then Sofia holds up her hand for a high-five while Rori bursts out laughing. “Best of friends,” Sofia confirms. “Between you, Sienna, and I, we’ll keep all these men in line.”
Massimo’s grin only widens. “Just remember that I’m the handsome and friendly brother,” he points out. He winks at Sienna and Gia. “And these two can vouch for just how good looking the goods are, so don’t damage anything that will have some lucky woman crying over it in future.”
Gia blushes furiously while Sienna grins wickedly. I look at them in confusion but Sienna just waves her hand at me. “I’ll tell you later.” Then she winks. “Just know he’s not lying.”
“Alright, enough of this, let's get down to the salon,” Rori huffs, though there’s laughter leaking into her tone. “You can walk with me, handsome. I’m the only single broad in this group, so that means you get to escort me and their men won’t kill you.”
Something flashes over Massimo’s face, but it’s quickly gone, and he never loses his charming smile. He extends his arm to her. “ Cara mia , you have made my day,” he says gallantly. “There is nothing better than escorting a beautiful woman. Especially when she doesn’t have her dog to chomp on my ass if I get a little handsy,” he adds with a flirtatious wink.
They leave us behind, and I look at the other women in confusion. “What about her and Alonzo?” I whisper to the others as we follow them. Immediately, the guards assigned to each of us swoop in to join us, but I don’t pay any attention to them as I am too invested in the scene ahead of us.
“If he catches them like this, we’re about to find out,” Sienna whispers back.
Sofia snorts. “Oh, my brother is going to flip his shit, and that is exactly what Massimo is hoping for. Massimo is like Alessio, but he’s more subtle about his shit disturbing tactics. This is either going to be entertaining or a mess.”
I’m really hoping it won’t be a mess, especially not in the salon. I hope Lazaro kept his word and cleaned it like I asked, or I’m about to have another very awkward conversation.