Chapter 5
5
RAVEN
The one where passports are handed out before entering into the premises.
I took a deep breath and walked over the threshold or as I liked to call it the war zone of doom also known as the kitchen and was welcomed with loud screaming, cursing, questionable looking food in strange places and what looked like gum in someone’s hair.
I normally loved the chaos, but lately it only reminded me of my own loneliness.
My dad and the rest of the bosses, cousins, aunts, uncles—they all had their own lives and apparently it was some sort of race to see who could procreate faster.
I think Nixon, my uncle, is still pissed that his daughter Serena made him a grandpa in his early fifties, the guy wasn’t even a silver fox yet.
Every friend in high school had a crush on him—every teacher asked me about him.
And then they met my dad and it was all over.
Gross.
An ear-splitting screech bounced off the walls of the kitchen, not the kind that immediately made you think of bloodshed —though one could never be totally sure in this sort of environment—but the sort of sugar infused scream that warned you a crash was coming soon but you’d deal with the wrath of hell for at least thirty minutes beforehand.
"GRANDPA!” little Beatrice yelled.
Junior looked at Serena, Serena looked at Junior, they played paper rock scissors. Phoenix, once the scariest mafia bosses of all from the bloodline of the De Langes and the man who took over the Nicolasis glared between them. “You’re supposed to announce the game before you draw your weapon.”
“Forgot.” Serena smiled sweetly.
Junior nodded. "You were too slow old man.
”
Phoenix quickly pulled a knife from thin air—or it seemed like he did—and flipped it between his fingers.
“I changed the last diaper while you two snuck off and, wipe that look of your face, Junior, before I tell Nixon.”
His smile faded.
It didn’t matter if he was married to Nixon’s daughter and had been for years—what mattered was that she was still Nixon’s princess and Junior would always be the villain masquerading as a prince who stole her away.
It almost made me crack a smile.
I loved everything about my family so why did it always feel like I was on the outside looking in?
Another little one with his pull up over his head and oven mitts covering his hands chucked a ball toward Phoenix.
Junior caught it just in time while Serena snuck away from them and eyed me up and down.
“It’s war but when we look back we’ll say it was a lovely playtime where we served tea and had biscuits.”
I eyed said tea and biscuits on the kids table.
“And that questionable substance?”
Serena shrugged.
“It’s brown so it’s either shit or chocolate. Junior says the consistency is in alignment with peanut butter.”
“Or someone just had peanuts.” I cringed.
"Exactly. So it shall stay on the magical princess tray until someone takes one for the team or loses at paper rock scissors.” She grinned over at Phoenix who threw his knife against the wall. It stuck right into a childhood picture of me and Tempest with Santa.
“Think he lost?" I asked.
She just laughed, then as if remembering the occasion, her face fell.
"Nope.” I held up my hands. “Not the time, Serena. I love you. Other than Ash you’re literally one of my favorite cousins?—“
She rolled her eyes. “I’m one of the only ones who still lives close by.”
“Also true.” I nodded. “And that’s a point in your favor but right now if you ask me if I’m okay I’m going to cry again and I can’t break, not again. Not. I just, I’m going to go somewhere else.”
Serena reached for me then pulled her hand back. She wasn’t even wearing makeup and had her blonde hair pulled back into a tight ponytail and she looked younger than me. It was all the crying.
SLAP.
We both looked in the general direction of the noise.
Damon had popped a squat on his plate full of pasta. “Look, Aunty Ena!” That would be Serena. “I go potty now!”
"Son of a bitch.
” Ash rushed over to him.
“I love being a dad, I love being a dad, I love being a—” He froze.
“Did we put sausage in the pasta?”
“Negative.” Serena burst out laughing.
“But you’re welcome to double check.”
"Shit!” Grimacing, he used one finger to push the plate away.
“SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!” Damon yelled. “Daddy yell shit, Mommy!”
"DADDY IS NOT YELLING SHIT!
” Ash yelled.
Claire walked around the corner narrowed her eyes, handed Serena a glass of wine and slowly backed away with a grin.
“Swear jar, sweetie, you’re up.”
Ash swiped Damon from the table and started marching toward the sliding glass doors.
“Raven, if your dad asks, it’s not blood in the pool, it’s pasta sauce and it’s sausage. It will always be sausage. He can send me a bill for the cleanup, but if I have to walk up those stairs instead of dipping this one in the pool I might lose my mind.”
“My lips are sealed.” I actually cracked a smile.
He held Damon far away from him then let out a long sigh.
“Look, if you need to talk?—”
“Go away,” I snapped, my smile evaporating.
“Dip your child in the chlorine already.”
"Might douse him with vodka to kill all the germs afterwards. Where’s a good parenting award when you need it?”
His words were light, his eyes were dark though, like he wanted to say more and knew it wasn’t the right time.
I waved him off and quickly went to the adult buffet table and started grabbing food. Tempest was sitting by herself in the corner, staring at her phone, smiling, and sipping some red wine.
I joined her, poured a glass to make it look like I was going to drink it, and stared down at my plate.
Huh. I should have paid better attention.
"New TikTok challenge?
” Tempest pointed her wine glass at my plate.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen marshmallows dipped in mustard, though it seems to be all the rage to make these weird plates with mustard and vegetables. Is that a twirler next to your green jello?”
Yeah, utter fail.
I shoved the plate away.
“I wasn’t really paying attention.”
Her phone went off again.
She bit down on her bottom lip and started twisting her golden brown hair around her fingertip.
It was her boyfriend.
The one Dad hated.
The one she loved because Dad hated him and because the guy was too stupid to believe Dad would, in fact, remove the guy’s dick from his body using a dull knife if he ever as much as touched Tempest without his permission.
Tempest reached her hand across the table and placed it on my arm.
“I’m here, when you’re ready. I know you’re overwhelmed right now. He was?—”
I hated talking about him in the past tense but not as much as when others did.
Tempest’s phone lit up again.
She swallowed slowly and lifted her blue eyes toward mine.
She started wearing contacts when she was twelve so people could tell us apart, along with dying her hair and having her own funky sense of fashion.
“He’s here.”
Of course he was.
“Go. He’s probably waiting and the last thing we need is for him to take a step into the house without Dad’s permission.”
“He did pull a gun on him last time.”
I nodded.
“He deserved it. He forgot to bow.”
“He thought I was kidding when I told him Dad demanded it.”
I found myself smiling.
“We are mafia royalty.”
She grabbed her phone.
“Listen, I don’t have to go.”
“I’m not great company.” I lifted one shoulder and let it fall listlessly.
“Plus I have marshmallows to dip into my jello and mustard.”
She made a face and stood.
“Promise you’ll eat better food than that.”
“I promise,” I lied.
She shook her head like she knew I wouldn’t and walked out of the room.
The sounds of laughter and yelling seemed to magnify even more.
Everyone had their own lives.
Everyone had someone.
I’d started feeling that way a year ago like everyone was passing me by, like I didn’t really have a plan outside of being the terrifying one out of the two sisters, the one who had a temper and refused to control it.
I shoved the marshmallow around my plate with my fork then felt a presence behind me.
His cologne floated into the air, wrapping itself around me, choking me with its presence, not because he didn’t smell good, but because he reminded me that I had an unwanted shadow.
One that looked at me like a job, not a person.
I opened my mouth to tell him to go away when a sandwich the size of a freaking brick was dropped onto my plate.
I scoffed. “Good to see you used all the cow to get that lunchmeat.”
“Eat. It’s not a request,” he ordered in a low voice.
“Sugar isn’t food, and I don’t know what the hell you were thinking putting the kids’, green jello on your plate but you know that shit has to have been spit in at least three times.”
I would not find him amusing even though he knew my family well.
I touched my stomach.
I hadn’t been puking a ton but it was only a matter of time.
Already I was feeling queasy and the sandwich could feed an army.
I normally loved roast beef and cheddar cheese.
But not in that moment, I didn’t.
I started to scoot back my chair but was met with a brick wall aka Ace’s body.
He picked up my chair—without permission— and turned it around so I was facing him, then proceeded to reach around me, grab the damn sandwich, and hold it in front of my face.
“Open.”
I gritted my teeth and tried to speak through them.
“No.”
He leaned down his light blue eyes flickered with irritation before he gripped me by the chin then shoved his thumb into my mouth past my row of bottom teeth and jerked my teeth away from each other.
“Good girl, now bite.”
I was going to bite his hand if he didn’t remove his fingers.
With a scowl he shoved the sandwich in and pushed my chin closed so I had no choice but to both bite and chew.
He lightly tapped me on the cheek.
“Good job, now take a few more and I’ll walk you to bed.”
"I know the way.”
"I’m aware.
”
"Ace.” I was seconds away from strangling him. I swallowed then opened my mouth to reason again only to have that same sandwich come barreling in before I could snap my mouth shut again.
"See?
It tastes good. Try not to choke.
” He stood to his full height.
“I’ll wait until you’re done. We have a meeting in twenty, so I’d go fast.”
"You’re not my boss!” I jumped to my feet.
"Two more bites then,” he whispered.
“And then what?" Tears filled my eyes.
He reached for something on the counter behind him and pulled out a syringe. “So I can put you to sleep.”
"Ketamine?” I guessed knowing it wasn’t necessarily horrible for baby but that I didn’t want to take any chances.
He nodded. “Just enough to sedate you.”
“Just enough to make me forget what I want to remember,” I whispered.
“Let me feel it, all of it Ace. I don’t need the drugs.”
He hesitated then said.
“Close your eyes and forget for a few hours—you have a lifetime to remember, Raven.”