Chapter 22
22
RAVEN
The one with the homework.
T hings went from spinning out of control to almost feeling like normal.
It had been two months since the appointment, and Ace had been incredible.
I stared at the professor as he droned on and on about international business and stole a glance at Ace standing in the corner of the room, AirPods in.
He never overstepped, he never engaged, though it was as if that night when I asked him to stay he’d finally made is choice and it wasn’t me.
He’d drawn a very blatant line in the sand.
I would reach for him, and he would gently pull away.
I would playfully shove him, and he’d give me a polite smile and keep his distance.
He was suddenly the opposite of Louis.
He was doing his duty perfectly as both my husband and my bodyguard, and part of me knew it was right, he was doing the right thing, the mature thing.
But most days, I wanted him to throw caution to the wind and just do something, anything.
I mean he never even got angry anymore.
I used to be terrified of him and also want to set him on fire.
Now I found myself saying thank you more than I’d like and getting annoyed when he didn’t give me shit about how much I talked.
Every morning, my vitamins were on my nightstand with a glass of water.
The fresh smell of decaf always filled the house, and the guy even grocery shopped.
I started feeling weird drinking milk, so he bought not just oat milk, but hemp, coconut, and almond and told me to let him know which one I liked the best.
I said all of them just to be extra.
He continued to buy all of them.
The only time he left my side was when he sparred with Ivan and went grocery shopping as an excuse to listen to his new podcast obsession.
Oh yeah, he was into podcasts now.
True Crime.
He said the only reason he listened to them was to correct where the murderers went wrong, almost like he was a teacher with a chip on his shoulder and an aggressively large red pen.
It was alarming how eager he was to use that pen.
In fact, it was becoming an obsession or at least it felt like it.
He always had his AirPods on and said it was True Crime he was listening to, and I always gave him a stare like you do realize who you are and what you do for a living, yeah ?
I didn’t want to be that person, but he was making me that person—in fact, making me crazy because other than his duties—he was ignoring me.
I never thought I’d actually think it, but Ace was a great roommate except I craved more.
And I knew I shouldn’t, given the fact that I was carrying another man’s child and that on more than one occasion Ace had caught me crying.
I was convinced if it was Louis, not Ace, things would be easier, but I was starting to question my memory of him.
He was great, but things had been so new, and he’d given me attention and distracted me from the very real threat of being Dante Alfero’s daughter, but the more I tried to remember why I’d loved Louis so much, the more my brain and heart reminded me why I was so thankful I had Ace.
It made me almost resent Ace in moments, though, for making everything so easy, for making liking him suddenly like breathing, for being cute with his stupid podcasts even though it made me jealous every time I saw those stupid AirPods.
“That’s it for today, please have your papers turned in to the portal by midnight tonight if you haven’t already.” Professor Alino checked his watch.
“Dismissed.”
Everyone scurried out like they always did, far, far away from me.
I hadn’t made a lot of friends to begin with because I’d been an idiot and attempted to triple major so it was my fault in the beginning.
I’d done a deep dive into my studies and had already finished two of my majors before this year.
Why did I need to finish out junior and senior year, again?
Even then, I’d only ever really hung out with people because Tempest was a social butterfly and wanted me to get out more on account I was too intimidating with my loud clothing and loud mouth.
That all seemed like a lifetime ago, though.
When I was a freshman, when the world was my oyster at eighteen, when I was just trying to find my place in it—and when I dumbly thought it would be easy to become an adult.
And now I was pregnant at twenty.
My bodyguard was dead.
And I was married.
Not how I planned on things going.
A shadow cast over my desk.
I looked up. Ace still had his AirPods in.
“You ready?”
“I should quit.”
“What?”
“School.” I stood and grabbed my bag.
“Seriously, this is a waste, I mean I have three majors for what? I have more money than I need, I can work for the family doing whatever I want, I’m pregnant. Like, why am I even here?”
He fell into step beside me as we walked through the halls on campus and out the door to the grassy area between the student union building and the business building.
“To get an education,” he said in a clipped voice.
“It’s kind of a requirement for every family to go to Eagle Elite, get your piece of paper and move on like the rest of us, plus you were so busy studying your ass off the first two years the only time you ever really socialized was when Ivan made you.”
I made a face.
“He was always a pain in our asses, still is, and even though you’re older than him he still bossed you around until you left for Italy.”
Until he left us.
Left home without as much as a word other than he needed to get away.
“Why did you leave, anyway?” I asked.
“Really?”
“I got an assignment.” He said it slowly, carefully.
“And you don’t say no to Phoenix Nicolasi.”
“Why did he out of all people give you an assignment?” I asked.
“I mean why not Dad?”
He swallowed and looked down.
“Because telling him the real reason I wanted to leave wasn’t really a topic I wanted to discuss with him.”
I rolled my eyes.
“So Phoenix, the death bringer, was your next logical choice?” I shook my head.
“I don’t buy it.”
He touched my elbow and gently led me to the cafeteria.
“That’s the best part, Raven, you don’t have to. All you need to know is it was a decision that needed to be made.” He started walking through the little store before we actually made it into the cafeteria and grabbed two of my favorite protein bars, some yogurt, a can of Sprite, and licorice, paid for it with his phone app, then escorted me back outside like I didn’t have an opinion on snack time—which I didn’t because it was like he could read my mind these days.
We went back to the townhouse where he would somehow convince me I needed a nap, I’d complain and then sleep for two hours and find myself covered with my favorite blanket and then we’d make dinner.
I hated it.
I loved it.
He confused me.
So much.
I kicked off my shoes and put them next to the door then walked over to the breakfast bar.
He tapped on his phone and checked the cameras like he always did, then he went and locked the door and did a check of all the windows.
Again, like he always did.
When walking by me he put his podcast on again or I’m assuming he did because he said that’s what he did and he was a creature of stupid habit.
He pulled out a chair.
“You should sit, eat something then take a nap.”
I could quote him back to himself.
Normally, I’d argue for a bit then listen.
But today…today it was raining.
Today felt wrong, different.
Today for the first time in a long time I really missed Louis, his distractions, his jokes, his way of making me feel important.
I missed him so badly.
At least he’d know I was upset, he’d read the room, not completely ignore me or pretend I didn’t exist.
I stared down at the yogurt, tears in my eyes, and chucked it at his head.
It hit him and dropped to the floor.
Chest heaving, I reached for the protein bar and held it high.
Ace pulled out his stupid AirPods.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Me?” I yelled.
“ME?”
He narrowed his eyes.
“Yes. You, the only other person in this room!”
“You’re not even real! You’re just going through the motions!”
Ace looked around the room.
“I’m not real? Like I’m not human? Have you lost your mind? I’m being dead serious, is there something wrong?”
“Yeah!” I waved the protein bar.
“I’m like one of those girls who snapped, where she just loses it and buries her husband in the backyard!”
“Technically, you’d have to bury me in your dad’s yard on account of ours couldn’t handle the amount of cement you’d need to seal the grave,” he pointed out.
Annoyingly.
“I know that!” I didn’t.
“And what if I want to use pigs?”
“We have those now.” He nodded.
“But the guys would know.”
“They’d be on my side!” I screamed.
“Because you’re the crazy one!”
“Me?” He burst out laughing.
“I’ve done everything right! I’m more real than you are living in your little fantasy world of romantic comedies and refusing to deal with Louis’ death by just pretending it never fucking happened!”
“Take it back!” I threw the protein bar.
“No,” he spat. “Because you’re the delusional one. I’m trying the fucking best I can, Raven! What more do you want from me!”
“Everything!”
“You have it!” He reached for the last protein bar then tossed it on the floor.
“I’m here, constantly. I’m here. I’m the one that’s here!”
“You’re not even a real husband!”
“It sure as hell feels like it when I’m doing your laundry, Raven!” He shoved all the food off the table.
“And you know I’m going to clean that shit up later, and then I’m going to make sure you’re safe, make sure the baby is safe, I’m going to take care of everything. What more could you possibly want from me?” His chest was heaving, his eyes searching for me to say something that would make this better.
Instead, I said the worst thing I could have possibly said.
“Louis. I want Louis.”
He stumbled back like I’d shot him.
His phone dropped to the ground.
And Ace De Lange just stared, the protective shield shattered in front of my eyes as he opened his mouth and closed it.
I’d seen men cry—my family was very open to expressing themselves.
But I’d never seen someone actually break.
I never thought I would be the one to break them.
In one second, I wasn’t just a nickname, I was his nightmare.
A tear slid down Ace’s cheek before he could stop it.
He didn’t say anything.
He just left.
The door shut quietly behind him.
When I looked down, his phone was still on, but the podcast wasn’t True Crime—it was an audio book on how to be a good father.