Chapter Seventeen
Abbie
Beau’s truck rumbled as he drove us on empty, two-lane road on the outskirts of Hallow Ranch. The sun was setting, drowning the edge of the sky in rich pinks and oranges, giving me something to look at in the tense silence.
His father’s words echoed in my head like the broken record I’d found at the thrift store last Christmas. I’d almost given into the old man. I’d almost told him the truth, the dark, shameful truth that caused me and everyone around me so much torment. I still had the taste of blood in my mouth from biting my tongue. I couldn’t.
If I told anyone the truth, lives would be at risk—no, lives would be lost.
All because of me, Abbie Spears—the failure.
“We’ll be staying here until your stalker is in custody,” Beau said, breaking the tense silence.
I twisted my neck to look around, seeing nothing but fields, trees, and mountains. “Where?” I asked.
I watched his jaw work for a moment, and then my eyes drifted down his neck, over his shoulder and across his long, outstretched arm until I reached his hand at the top of the steering wheel. His knuckles were white from his grip. He cleared his throat, and my eyes shot back up to his face. He still wasn’t looking at me.
In fact, he hadn’t looked at me once since leaving me in shambles in Denver Langston’s foyer.
“It’s a cabin on the edge of the property,” he told me, easing his foot off the gas.
My brows rose. “Oh, the hunting cabin?” I guessed, trying not to grimace. Back in the day, when Beau wanted to get away from everyone, he would bring me up to the small hunting cabin on the mountain. It wasn’t livable by any means back then. Last time I was there, it only had an old table for animal cleaning and a bucket to use the bathroom in. It was small, only enough room for three people to stand in comfortably.
When Beau didn’t respond, I silently hoped Denver made the place somewhat decent.
You deserve this, Abbie.
You deserve to rot in hell, so staying in a shack out in the woods should be the least of your worries.
Beau pulled off the road quickly, jerking me. My hand shot out, slamming against the window to steady myself as he drove us down a small hill. We drove in the grass for a few minutes, staying beside the Hallow Ranch fence. Up ahead, there was a small patch of trees, and as we got closer, I saw an opening. Beau drove through it with ease, the trees covering us. It was a natural tunnel of sorts. Trees surrounded us on either side of the truck, blocking the view of the road, their branches above giving us cover.
“This isn’t the way to the hunting cabin,” I muttered, looking over to the silent cowboy in the driver’s seat.
When he didn’t reply, I looked straight ahead and spotted a small wooden gate in the fencing, the warm glow of the sunset seeping between the trees, giving it a spotlight. All at once, I felt like I was in a dream. It looked like something out of a fairytale.
Beau brought the truck to a slow stop and shifted it into park. I didn’t move, not looking away from the cute wooden gate and the paved path behind it leading us into the woods. Wildflowers were scattered in the tall grass, and I could hear birds chirping outside.
“Beau, where are we?” I whispered, my voice cracking.
“Look, I didn’t know about this place until this afternoon,” he clipped. “When this shit is over, I’m going to offer it to the twins. Maybe one of them will take it.”
My head whipped over to him. “Beau,” I snapped. He still wasn’t looking at me. “Beau!”
Nothing, not even a flinch.
My heart was aching now, and I felt the beginnings of another panic attack coming. “Look at me,” I pleaded, my words coming out as mere breaths. His jaw jumped twice before he moved, grabbing his hat on the seat between us and placing it on his head in a motion that used to drive me mad with lust. Now, in this moment, it was just pissing me off. “Look at me,” I ordered through my teeth.
I expected him to get out of the truck and give me his back, but the only thing he gave me was his blue. His gaze collided with mine, and I swore I could hear the outside world shattering, crumbling into pieces no one would ever be able to put back together again. Those fire blue eyes held me captive, the scorching heat of his hatred burning me from the inside out.
“This cabin was a gift to my father from John,” he answered, his voice dangerously soft. “My father, being the kind of man he is, didn’t take it. He saved it for me—for us.”
My breath caught, and suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to be out of this truck. “What do you mean, for us?” I whispered, devastation looming over me now.
Please don’t—please God, don’t let it be what I thought it was.
Our gaze never broke as he completely destroyed me.
“This cabin was supposed to be for you and me, Abbie. It was our wedding gift from my father.”
Before I could respond, the man I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with was out of the truck, slamming the door behind him. My eyes followed him as he grabbed our bags out of the back, holding them over his shoulder with ease. His head was bent, his hat shielding his face, which I counted as something of a blessing. I didn’t think I would survive seeing the emotion painted on his face, the hatred, the resentment. I was frozen as he came around the front of the truck. The hair on the back of my neck rose as he yanked my door open, and yet, I still couldn’t move. I couldn’t face him.
Seconds ago, all I wanted was his gaze, and now, I was the one who couldn’t look at him. I remained where I was, teetering on the brink between insanity and despair. Karma was on her game today, reminding me exactly how deserving I was.
I was nothing.
I would never be anything.
No matter how far I’d come, how far I’d grown, and how much I’d distanced myself from that shitty trailer park.
I was still trash.
Beau sighed from beside me. It wasn’t a sigh of frustration. No, it was filled with something else, something I didn’t have the strength to comprehend. “Abbie,” he called, his voice still dangerously soft.
This cabin was supposed to be for you and me.
It was a gift from my father.
A wedding gift.
Flashes of Beau on his knee in the middle of a field during a summer sunset a lot like the one happening outside now were suddenly shoved to the forefront of my mind. Before I could stop it, I was pulled into the past, trapped by the weight of the worst mistake of my life.
Six years ago. Hallow Ranch.
The grass was soft under my bare feet, and Beau’s strong hand was warm around mine.
“Quiet tonight, Wildflower,” Beau murmured, the rough edges of his deep voice compelling me to look at him, the sunset at this back.
My heart was about to crack right down the middle, but I needed to soak this up, the image of my cowboy in the sun. We’d been together for years now, having grown up together, here, on Hallow Ranch. Beau was no longer a boy or even a wild teenager. He was man—a good man. He was a man who deserved the world, a man with a smile that brought me and no doubt countless other women to their knees. That smile was supposed to be all mine.
Forever.
That was the promise we whispered to each other two years ago when he made love to me in this very field for the first time. We were both scared and hopelessly in love. Yet, we still fell into it, into the promise of forever, blinded by our love.
Two years ago, I was happy.
Two years ago, I was ready to be Mrs. Marks.
Two years ago, I was ready to spend the rest of my life with this cowboy.
Those feelings didn’t change until a week ago, and for the last seven days, danger lurked behind me at every turn. I didn’t feel safe in town or even at Hallow Ranch. They were watching me, no matter where I went or who I was with.
“Abbie?” Beau’s smile slowly faded, his brows coming together. “What’s wrong?”
I blinked quickly, stopping the tears from showing. “Today has been so perfect, that’s all,” I told him, squeezing his hand. It was the most perfect day, and because of that, I knew it was time for me to cut the cord. I was playing with fire being here right now. I knew that. It was foolish, but I had to say goodbye to him.
I already had my reasons, my story locked and loaded on my tongue, ready to fire it off at a moment’s notice. I should’ve left at dinner instead of going on this walk with him, but my soul needed just a few more minutes.
That smile stretched back across his face again, and my heart cried out in agony. This was all wrong. This wasn’t how my life was supposed to play out. I’d paid all my mother’s debt to karma. It was supposed to be a fresh start, a new chapter that would lead to a happy ending.
I stepped forward, closing the small distance between us, my hand cupping the side of his handsome, tanned face. My eyes dropped, focusing on his mouth for a moment before getting lost in his blues again. “Beau,” I murmured, his name like a prayer on my lips. A prayer for salvation, a prayer for forgiveness.
The truth was, I knew he would never be able to forgive me. I knew he would hate me. As much as it would torture me, I would rather have Beau hate me. I would take whatever deal that kept him breathing.
Beau being alive was the only thing I truly needed in this world.
Did I want him? Oh, yes. I knew I was about to spend the rest of my life in agony and longing. However, I need his heart to keep beating, even if it wasn’t for me.
His free hand cupped my face, the rough pad of his thumb stroking my cheek, sending sparks of desire through my body. I wish there was time to have him one more time, to make love to him in the way he deserved, to give him the pleasure he deserved.
“Abbie,” he whispered, his eyes dropping to my lips.
Yes, kiss me.
Please kiss me one more time.
He granted my silent wish, tipping his head down, but I was too impatient. My hand snaked over his jaw to the back of his neck, bringing him down to my mouth. Our lips touched. and my legs nearly gave out. His mouth moved against mine, trying to keep up with the urgency of this kiss. My fingers stretched up, feeling his soft hair his hat didn’t cover. The brim of his hat brushed against my head as his tongue shot out, teasing me. A whimper left me as I opened for him.
God, his taste.
He was everything to me.
I brought my free hand to his side, clutching his navy pearl-snap tightly as I pressed my front to his. My breasts were against the solid wall of his chest, the thin cotton fabric of my dress not standing a chance against the heat of him.
“Beau,” I pleaded on a gasp as his arms wrapped around me, and he pulled away, smiling down at me.
“Fuck, I love you,” he said. “I love you so damn much, Abbie Spears.”
I wanted to say it back, like I always had, but I couldn’t. It would be selfish of me to say that now, when our ending was about to show her ugly head. Instead, I laid my head on his shoulder, wrapping both of my arms around his neck.
Then, I whispered, “Dance with me.”
A rough chuckle left him, the vibration of it searing through me like a bullet. “Yes, Ma’am.”
Beau’s hands came to my hips, and we both swayed back and forth, slowly spinning in a circle. When I had a direct view of the sunset, I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer. They filled my eyes, blurred my vision, and slowly spilled over my cheeks and onto his shirt. He didn’t say a word, but I knew he felt them.
“Never want this day to end,” I confessed, my voice unsteady. “It’s just too perfect.”
“I know, baby,” he murmured after a minute or two. “So damn perfect.” He stopped us then and gently eased me to look back up at him before he took a single step back.
A cold shot of fear raced through me, the look on his face more serious than I’d ever seen.
Did he know the truth?
Was he here to beat me to the punch?
Did he hate me already?
I wanted to blurt out all these questions simultaneously, demand the answers my fear desperately needed, but then, something else happened.
Beau, the love of my life, the man I could no longer be with, pulled out a small black box covered in the velvet that reminded me of his voice and got down on one knee.
I covered my mouth to stifle the cry of horror surging up my throat.
No, no, no.
He can’t do this. Not now.
No.
A chill skated down my spine, and suddenly, I knew we were being watched. Somehow, someway they were watching me, ready to kill him in seconds if I made the wrong move.
Beau’s eyes were bright as he smiled up at me, the sight so beautiful and right. God, everything he had done today was right. I was too blinded by heartbreak I had to cause to see it. He reached to open the box. “Abbie Spears, my wildflower—”
“—stop,” I croaked, shaking my head. I put my hands to my stomach as I stumbled back. “You have to stop.”
Beau’s happiness melted instantly, replaced by confusion. “Abbie? What are you—”
“—I can’t marry you, Beau.”
Everything around us stopped, and I watched every inch of him stiffen as my words echoed throughout the summer air. It took great effort for him to slowly drop the hand holding that damned little box. It took even greater effort for me not to drop to my knees and tell him the truth, to take those words back and beg for forgiveness. The story, the excuses, the plan was out the window. There was no way I could give him a rehearsed script now, not with him on his knee and a ring box in his hand.
“The hell you talkin’ about?” he asked on a whisper, his chest starting to heave now.
I shook my head again. “I can’t—I can’t, Beau. Please.”
“Please what?” he bellowed, shooting up to his full height. I jerked and took another step back. “Please what, Abbie? What the fuck are you begging for?”
The please wasn’t for him. It was for the ones watching us, the ones who wanted us to be apart. The ones who cornered me and threatened me to leave Beau Marks and Hallow Ranch—forever.
“I’m sorry,” I rasped, knowing it wasn’t worth a damn.
He shook his head. “No, fuck that! What the hell is this?” he shot back. “What the hell do you mean you can’t marry me?”
I said nothing, snapping my head to the side to look at something, anything but him as my heart crumbled into millions of pieces.
“Do you—do you not love me anymore, baby?”
The question came out as nothing but raw pain, dusted with disbelief.
I closed my eyes, letting more tears fall. “I have to go,” I told him, not looking at him. If did, I would stay. I would be putting him and everyone else on this ranch in danger. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t be that selfish.
I felt his fingers brush my arm then. “Baby,” he choked out. “Abbie, look at me. Please, Wildflower.”
I didn’t say another word.
Instead, I ran.
I ran from love, from my fairytale ending. I ran from the life I thought I deserved.
My heart was pounding as I got to the bunkhouse, yanking the door open.
Denver, Caleb, and Jigs were all seated at the table. All three of them shot up from their seats, and the fading smile on Jigs’ face was just another blow. “Abbie?”
I said nothing as I stepped inside, cutting through the space, bypassing the table and heading straight for Beau’s bunk.
“Abbie, is everything okay?” Denver asked from behind me.
I nodded as I got down on the floor, ruining my dress as I fished out the packed duffle I’d shoved underneath Beau’s bunk earlier this morning.
“What’s going on?” Jigs demanded as I stood, facing them.
My bottom lip trembled as I looked over to Mags, the dark cowboy in the corner of the bunkhouse, the book he’d been reading now face down on his thigh. His dark eyes pierced mine, and I knew if I let him study me a moment longer, he would figure it out. That was Mags. He was good at reading people.
“Abbie, sweetheart,” Jigs said once I looked away from Mags. “Talk to me.”
I stepped up to the old man, tears streaming down my cheeks. I put my hand on his chest, feeling his old, sturdy heart. “Tell him I love him,” I whispered. “Years from now, when the pain has numbed, tell him it was real.”
Jig’s blue eyes went wide, but I was moving again. I looked at Denver and then to his precious son. “Bye, buddy,” I whispered.
Then, I was gone, running across the gravel to the back of the bunkhouse where my shitty car was parked. I fired up the engine and didn’t even give the old engine a second to warm up before throwing it in reverse, backing out and sending gravel flying as I stomped on the gas.
I cried all the way to the city of Denver and the tears didn’t stop for twelve months.
Beau said nothing else to me as I eventually swung out of the truck, and he shut the door. Then, he silently led me to the little gate, opening it with ease and jerking his head, signaling for me to walk through first.
I avoided looking at all the wildflowers at my feet, keeping my gaze towards the trees. Beau moved by me then, and my feet moved on their own, my body wanting to be near him. Minutes later, ones that stretched longer than needed, I followed Beau around a large pine tree.
My breath caught at the sight of the small cabin nestled among the pines and oaks.
“This was supposed to be for us?” I whispered, slowly turning my head to find Beau already staring down at me with a pained look on his face.
His throat bobbed. “Yeah, Abbie. It was.”