Chapter 4
Chapter four
Ireach across my bed in search of Josh, but his spot is cold and empty.
I wake up alone most mornings since Josh lives on the other side of town and has to get up much earlier than I do for work.
A weight settles in my chest that feels closely related to disappointment.
Josh promised me before we went to bed that he’d be here when I woke up.
Sitting up, I shake the lingering drowsiness off. My white duvet has been kicked to the end of the bed as usual. I scan the room, hoping to find a clue that Josh is still here, but everything is in its usual place.
I swallow hard, steeling myself to make it through the morning without crying. Not that crying isn’t totally valid right now, but I know crying will leave me feeling worse in the long haul. Nothing like giving yourself a migraine because you emotionally and physically dehydrated yourself.
Maybe he didn’t believe me last night when I apologized for forgetting our anniversary?
I grab my phone from my nightstand, yank the charger out, and toss it to the floor, hoping to see a text from Josh.
There’s a text from Capri asking if Josh and I enjoyed the rest of our night together after our almost breakup.
What if he saw that, looked at my texts to the girls, and got angry that I shared our fight?
It wouldn’t be the first time he read something I wrote to my friends and got upset.
Josh likes his private life to stay private, including what happens in our relationship.
Look at that, Teagan. You’ve gone and messed everything up again.
Or, what if he just went out to grab us breakfast, and I’m overreacting like he says I always do?
Nope. No text from him. The only unread text waiting for me is another message from Capri in our group chat, telling us we can’t be late for our coffee date today because she has “big news” to share.
Whatever—like I’m ever late.
I toss my phone back onto the bed and smash my palms into my face with a loud groan. I shouldn’t be this upset that Josh left. It’s not like I remembered our anniversary, so tit for tat or whatever that stupid saying is.
It was foolish of me to get my hopes up in the first place.
There’s a soft knock on my door. “Teagan? You okay in there?” Josh’s voice hits me like a slap to the face as he opens the bedroom door.
I must look distraught because his brows furrow. He closes the small gap from the door to my side within seconds.
“Hey, hey, baby. What’s the matter?” Josh sits next to me on the bed and rubs soft circles on my back while I burst into tears. I told myself I wouldn’t let myself cry, but I can’t stop the onslaught of emotions that invade my senses when I realize that he didn’t leave.
He never left me. He kept his promise this time.
I throw myself into his arms and inhale the scent of him. I’ve never been able to place the exact smell—something woodsy and masculine—but his familiar cologne has always been comforting, safe, and soothing to fall into after a stressful day.
“What’s the matter?” Josh repeats as his arms tighten around me.
I sniffle loudly and wrap my arms around his waist, burying my face into his amazingly toned chest. I swear his body was made for mine because I fit perfectly in his arms. “Nothing. I’m sorry,” I say between breaths. “I just thought you had left me after how horrible I was last night.”
His laugh shakes my entire body as I snuggle into him. “No, baby. No. I just couldn’t sleep, so I figured I’d start planning our make-up anniversary trip while you slept in.”
Finally, I release him and pull myself together before facing him. “Make-up anniversary?”
Josh brings a hand to my face and tucks a stray hair behind my ear. “Yeah, to make up for how crappy last night turned out to be.”
My cheeks turn scarlet, and I tug my lower lip with my teeth. “I’m so sorry, Josh. I can’t believe I got so wrapped up in my own world that I forgot about our anniversary yesterday. I promise I’ll try harder.”
He lets out a loud sigh and shakes his head. “I won’t lie and say that isn’t nice to hear, finally.”
My stomach twists in knots at his confession.
“I know your friends are important to you. But I need to know that I’ll always come first, Teagan. How are we supposed to plan a life together when I’m always left feeling like I’m in last place?”
I shrug my shoulders in response because I can’t speak right now. I know if I open my mouth, the only thing that will come out is another sob.
Will this always be an issue for us?
Will my friendships be the downfall of my relationship?
Will I have to choose between them—for good?
Josh slaps his hands loudly on his thighs and gets to his feet. “Enough of this. I didn’t stay here to fight with you again.” He reaches his hand out for me, and I place mine in his on autopilot. “Let’s go plan something amazing for our make-up anniversary.”
When Josh said he wanted to plan a trip for us, I didn’t expect it to involve his mother.
I don’t not like her, per se, but I could do without the constant butting in she loves to do when it comes to her “baby boy’s” life.
“Oh, you don’t want to go to Hawaii,” Cara states over our FaceTime call. Josh doesn’t have many of her features, but when he scowls, he gets a bulging vein in his forehead that matches the one Cara is sporting right now.
Heaven forbid her baby boy get to pick our vacation spot without his mother’s approval and input.
“What’s wrong with Hawaii?” Josh interjects as Cara starts naming other destination spots.
The annoyed tsk she lets out before crossing her arms over her chest like a petulant child makes my skin crawl. “It’ll be too crowded during this time of year. All the best resorts will have been booked months ago! You don’t want to stay at one of those chain hotels. Do you, Joshy?”
Did I say I didn’t not like this woman? That was a lie.
She is the actual Mother-In-Law from Hell, not that Josh has asked me to marry him.
But who calls a grown man Joshy? I bite my tongue to keep my retort to myself.
I have always been cordial with Cara, and I’m not looking to ruin that since I hope to marry her son one day.
But keeping my opinions to myself around her isn’t easy.
Josh and I have been dating for a year, and I still don’t understand how someone so loving and kind could have come from this woman’s womb. His father must have been a saint to put up with her long enough to create a child together.
“Well then, Mother,” Josh groans out with a grin.
“Where do you suggest we go?” He grabs my hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it softly.
His eyes are alight with mischief, and I wonder if he’s regretting filling his mother in on our plans.
“I want this to be special. Teagan and I will only have one first anniversary, after all.” Josh winks at me, making me blush furiously.
Cara rolls her eyes at us both over the screen before bringing her hands together in what looks like a prayer. Maybe she’s praying that we don’t have a second anniversary together.
“What about a cruise?” she suggests. “You can always book one of the nice rooms. You know the bigger ones with actual breathing room, unlike the closets they advertise as rooms for the rest of the population? The nice rooms never fill up because they are just a bit pricier than the others.” Cara’s voice gets higher as the idea takes flight in her mind.
“A Mediterranean cruise would be magical, and you’ll be glad you did at least once in your life. ”
Josh looks at me. I can tell he’s taken with the idea—even though he knows that I am absolutely terrified of the ocean and that a cruise would be the furthest idea of a magical memory for me.
“Well, Teagan,” Cara coos. “What do you think? Just say yes, and I’ll sort out all the details for you! You know I love travel planning!”
Josh gives my hand an authoritative squeeze from under the table. “Just say yes, babe.”
I look from him to Cara and finally see the resemblance between them. They remind me of snakes about to pounce on an unsuspecting mouse. Their posture is intimidating, and their eyes glisten with an unnamed emotion…urging me to give in to their wishes.
This is a fight I’m not going to win, and I know if I remind Josh that I’m scared of the ocean, it’ll just turn into another fight. He’ll find a way to throw my friends in my face again, and I’m not ready to choose between him and them.
So I nod my head at Josh before turning to Cara. “Yes,” I say. My voice sounds weak and pathetically miserable, but they don’t notice as their mouths twist into winning smirks.