Chapter Five #2
“So, what do you think? Can we get back to business with the understanding—which after today will remain unspoken—that I’m hoping someday you’ll see me as something more than a colleague?”
Ben sighed. “You said I’m not ready to let go of my past.”
She nodded.
“You’re right. I’m not. Because Charlotte’s my past and she’s going to be my future.”
“I understand.”
She thought she understood. Ben could see what she was thinking—that he was still just clinging to memories and hope. He tried to talk gently; for some reason it was important to him not to hurt her. “No, you don’t understand. I heard from her this morning. She’s coming back.”
“Oh.”
Ben nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh, don’t be! I feel so stupid. I’m sorry, Ben. And I’m happy for you. I really am.”
“Thanks.”
“I should go.” She turned around and scrabbled with the door handle before pulling it open and bolting past Smoke who was waiting outside.
“What the…” Smoke asked as he came back inside the office.
Ben shook his head sadly. “Angel came to tell me she was happy to wait for me while I figure out that I like her.”
“Ah.”
“Yeah. I told her that Charlotte’s coming back.”
Smoke shook his head.
“What?”
“I don’t know. It’s almost as though Charlotte somehow knows.”
“Knows what?”
“That she needs to get her shit together and fast. She’s left you dangling all these years, and now—the first time there’s a woman you’re interested in, she’s finally going to deign to come back.”
Ben frowned. “That’s sounds as though you don’t like Charlie.”
Smoke shrugged. “It’s not that. I don’t know her to dislike her. I guess I’m still just wary of women and how scheming they can be.”
“Charlotte’s not like that.”
“No, I’m sure. She sure has a great sense of timing though.”
“Her timing sucks if you ask me. I wish she’d come back years ago.”
“Yeah, and I hate to mention it, but you haven’t denied what I said about there being a woman you’re interested in.”
“No.” Ben sighed. “I haven’t let my mind go anywhere near that. I can’t afford to. I love Charlie. That’s all I need to know. Angel is a good person, a good friend, a good-looking woman. We get along well, we work well together, that’s all.”
“Apart from you like it when you get to hold her, like you did last night?”
“No! I mean yes. I mean. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. It was a one off. An accident. I didn’t mean to hold her, she just …”
He met Smoke’s gaze.
Smoke shrugged. “Don’t mind me. I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.”
“Yeah, thanks. But I don’t want to even think about it. I get to talk to Charlie this afternoon. That’s all I want to think about.”
“Okay. Well, I’ll leave you to it. Let me know how it goes?”
“Thanks. I will.”
When he was done in the office, Ben went to check on the restaurant. He groaned inwardly when he saw Emma sitting out on the deck with Jack’s mom, Chris. He could hardly pretend not to see her. She was grinning and waving at him.
“Hey,” he said when he reached the table. “We missed you at breakfast this morning.”
Emma folded her hands on top of her baby bump. “There was no way I was going to get down here that early. It takes me all my time to get out of bed these days.”
Chris smiled. “Make the most of it. In a few weeks you’ll be longing for the days when you could stay in bed and not have to get up and see to the baby.”
Emma nodded. “So everyone keeps telling me, but I’ll still be glad not to be the size of a bus anymore.” She narrowed her eyes at Ben. “And I want to get the christening organized soon.”
Ben shook his head at her.
“Well?”
“I’ll tell you what, how about I give you a call this evening and let you know.”
Her eyes widened. “Really?”
Ben couldn’t help grinning. “Yeah, really, but that’s all I’m saying for now.” He smiled at Chris. “And how are you?”
She nodded. “Doing wonderfully, thank you. I thought this was supposed to be a sleepy little town, but my life’s been busier than ever since I moved here.”
“Good for you.”
Emma chuckled. “A little too good for you, according to Jack.”
Chris laughed. “He’s just too protective and too nosey. It’s none of his business what I get up to.”
Ben smiled. Chris had been in the restaurant quite a lot lately with one of the pilots in training from Smoke’s flight school.
“It’s nothing serious.” Chris waggled her eyebrows. “I’m just having a little fun for the first time in way too many years.”
“I think it’s great,” said Emma. “Just don’t tell Jack I said that.”
Ben’s phone rang in his pocket and his heart started to hammer. He checked his watch. One minute past twelve. He fished his phone out and checked the display. It was her.
He hit answer and brought it up to his ear. “Charlie!”
Emma’s hands flew up to cover her mouth as she stared at him wide-eyed. He waved a hand at her and turned to go back to the office. How the hell had the time gotten away from him so quickly?
“Hi, Ben.”
“Hi yourself.” This was crazy. He was tongue-tied. He made it back to the office and closed the door behind him and sat down. “How are you?” He got up again and locked the door. He did not want to be disturbed; this might be the most important phone call of his life.
“All the better for hearing your voice. I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too. So much.”
“I feel as though I’ve missed you my whole life, but these last few months have been even harder.”
“I know. It’s been like having hope dangled in front of me and then having to wait in silence.”
“I wanted to talk to you. Every day I wanted to talk to you.”
“Me too. Saying that we shouldn’t talk felt like such a stupid move.”
“It did.” She let out a little laugh. “But it was the right thing to do.”
Ben didn’t want to know what she meant by that. It hit him again that she’d had a husband to deal with—another man’s heart to break. “How is he?”
“He’s good. I told you, we had lunch yesterday, to celebrate. It was weird and sad, but good. He’s better off without me.”
“And you?”
“You know the answer to that. I’m better off without him. I should never have been with him. I’ve only ever loved you.”
Ben nodded. The thought of her with someone else still felt like a gut punch.
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“I never even asked you in Vegas. Was there someone else. Is there?”
Ben sucked in a deep breath. “I’ve dated. Of course I have. Not much though.”
“And is there anyone who’s not going to be happy about me coming back?”
Ben closed his eyes. He didn’t want to lie to her. But Angel not being happy about it didn’t matter. Not when he himself was ecstatic.
“Your silence makes me think there is.”
“Not like you might think. There’s a girl who works for me. She thought she might have a chance.”
“I see.”
“No, you don’t see.” This wasn’t going how he’d planned. “I’m not interested in her.”
“Good. But if you are, you should go for it. I’ve been thinking a lot about it, Ben.
About how this is going to work. On the one hand, you’re my soul mate.
We’ve known each other forever. On the other, if we’re realistic about it—and I’m trying to be—we don’t even know each other anymore.
I don’t want us to ruin what we might have by going into it with unrealistic expectations. ”
“What do you mean?”
She laughed. “I mean I’m trying to be sensible and cautious, when all I really want to do is come home to you and get on with the rest of our lives.”
He smiled. “So, when are you coming?”
“I don’t know. I need to find a place to live and a job and all that other good stuff. You know. Take care of all the practical details.”
“I thought …” He didn’t know what to say.
He hadn’t really given much thought to the practical details at all.
He’d just had this happy picture of her coming back and moving into the apartment with him and working alongside him—and now he realized that wasn’t practical or sensible at all. “Do you want a job?”
She laughed. “I told you when I was eighteen that I was never waiting tables again.”
“I didn’t mean that. You could ….” What could she do?
“No. Thank you. I need to find something for myself. We need to go into this on an equal footing. I’m not coming over there to be your dependent.”
“Of course not.”
“I’ll find something, and I’ve got enough saved up to live on in the meantime.”
“Good. For a moment there I was worried you weren’t going to come until you found something.”
She laughed. “No. I couldn’t wait that long, so I saved up in preparation.”
“Wow, you really did get all grown up, huh?”
“In some ways. I hope you’ll be proud of me.”
“I will. I am. And have you figured out where you’re going to stay?”
“I was hoping you could put me in touch with a realtor.”
“You’re going to buy a place?” Ben’s heart sank. He’d been daydreaming about buying or building a place for them down on the water like she used to talk about.
“Not yet, no. Just rent somewhere to start out.”
“Okay. I’ll have a word with Austin, he’s a good guy. He’ll find you something.”
“Thanks.”
“So,” this was the question he needed an answer to, “when are you coming?”
“When do you want me?”
“Tomorrow,” he said with a laugh. “I’m being honest, not practical.”
She laughed with him. “I like it. I don’t know about tomorrow, but I’ll bet I can be there before the weekend. I’ve been waiting and planning for this. I’ve got everything sorted out and ready. I just needed to hear you say you still want me.”
“Oh, Charlie. I still want you. I always have and I always will.”
“I still want you too, Ben, and I’m going to hang up now before I cry. I’ll see you before the weekend, okay?”
“More than okay, so much more than okay.”