Chapter Eighteen
Pete looked around at everyone with a smile. “Is it crazy that we’re all sitting in this waiting room and we’ve been sitting here for hours?”
“Yeah, it’s crazy, but it’s the best kind of crazy,” said Missy with a grin. “We couldn’t miss this.”
“I know, I just hope she hurries up. I mean it could take all night, couldn’t it? Do we really want to sit here all night?”
“I do,” said Dan with a grin. “I’m going to be an uncle.”
Gramps came over and rested a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “You doing okay, son?” Ben looked up at him and smiled. “I am, thanks, Gramps. I’m doing better than I thought I would.”
“Good.” Gramps gave Charlotte a kindly smile. “And you?”
Charlotte nodded. She smiled, but Ben could see it was hard for her.
Maybe this was a bad idea. He’d asked several times if she wanted to leave.
But she said she didn’t. She wanted to be here, wanted to be a part of this.
He understood that. So many things had happened, and she’d missed so many milestones in the lives of their friends.
This one was huge and she wanted to be a part of it, no matter how much it hurt.
He felt the same way. It was hard not to let his imagination stray to how things might have been.
These same friends would have been sitting in this same hospital, fifteen years ago, waiting for Charlie to have their baby, if things had turned out differently.
He sucked in a deep breath. But things had turned out the way they had.
There was no changing that. All they could do was make the most of what was. Be here and be happy for their friends.
Charlotte stood up. “I’m going to go out for some fresh air.”
Ben stood to join her, but she shook her head slightly. “I just need a minute. I’m okay.”
He nodded and watched her go. He wanted to follow, but he understood. She needed to be by herself. Missy came over and sat down beside him. “How are the two of you holding up?”
“It’s not easy, that’s for sure. But I wanted to be here. So did Charlie.”
“Should I go see how she’s doing?”
Ben shrugged. “I don’t know. She wanted to be by herself, but I don’t know if that means she wants to be alone or just not with me. I think we make it harder for each other.”
“Oh, Ben. I don’t think …”
“I’m not saying that in a bad way. It’s just that when we talk to someone else we can say how we feel. When we talk to each other we’re always aware of how the other feels, and we don’t want to hurt each other.”
Missy nodded. “I can see that. I’ll go check on her, and she can send me away if she wants to be by herself.”
She put a hand on his shoulder as she stood up. Ben reached up and squeezed it. He didn’t dare try to speak. Missy had been there for him his whole life, and he didn’t doubt she always would be.
A few moments later, a nurse came out to the waiting room. “Mama and baby are both doing well,” she said with a smile. “They’d like the grandparents to come in first.”
Jack’s mom, Chris, beamed as she stood up.
“Aren’t you going in, Gramps?” asked Pete.
Gramps nodded. “I’ll wait my turn.”
Chris went over to him and held her hand out to him. “I think she means they want to see us.”
“But she said …”
“She said grandparents, Gramps,” said Pete with a smile.
“And you’re a great one, and we all know it,” said Ben.
Gramps dabbed at his eyes as he got to his feet. Chris slipped her arm through his. “Let’s go meet our little one.”
Dan was tapping away at his phone, no doubt telling Missy that she needed to get back in here quick. Ben thought he should do the same and tell Charlotte. He stared at the screen for a few moments not knowing what to say. In the end, he simply typed:
It’s time.
Charlotte and Missy came back in a few minutes later. Missy had a bounce in her step and a big grin on her face. Charlotte looked a lot more subdued. Ben got up and went to her side. “Are you okay?”
She gave him a brave smile. “I am. I can’t wait to see the little one.”
They let the others go in first, all taking turns so as not to crowd Emma and the baby. Pete and Holly came out and Pete grinned at Ben. “She’s gorgeous.” He turned to smile at Chris. “And you think Jack’s overprotective toward you. Can you imagine what he’s going to be like with a daughter?”
Chris laughed. “I think I may have to help Emma keep him in line, or my granddaughter may lead a very sheltered life.”
Dan smiled, “I think Aunt Missy may be able to help the two of you out there.”
Gramps looked at Ben. “Do the two of you want to go in now?”
Ben looked at Charlotte. She nodded and took hold of his hand and they went through the double doors. Jack beamed at them as they came in. “Come meet our daughter, she’s beautiful.”
Ben swallowed—hard—at the sight of Emma sitting up in bed holding her new baby. He could not cry; he would not cry. Charlotte tightened her grip on his hand and he heard her suck in a deep breath.
“She’s beautiful, Emma. How are you?”
Emma smiled at Charlotte. Ben had never seen her look so happy. “I’m exhausted. I had no clue it was going to be like that.” She smiled down at the baby. “But it was so worth it. Just look at her, she’s amazing.”
Jack went to perch on the bed beside her and put his arm around her shoulders.
“Does she have a name?” asked Ben.
Emma smiled up at Jack. “She does, we’re going to call her Isabel.”
“Oh, Em, that’s beautiful. I love it,” said Charlotte. She wiped at the tears that were rolling down her cheeks.
Emma reached out and touched her arm. “I’m sorry, Charlie. I knew this was going to be hard for you.” She looked at Ben. “And you. I’m so sorry.”
Charlotte shook her head. “Don’t be. Nothing should spoil this moment for you. Don’t be sad. This is the happiest day of your life.”
Ben nodded. He didn’t know what to say. It was such a bittersweet moment. Emma—one of his oldest and dearest friends—was experiencing a joy that he and Charlotte had been robbed of. He truly was happy for her and Jack, despite his own sadness.
Jack smiled at them. “The nurse said we could only have a few minutes. We just wanted to introduce her to her godparents.”
Ben was only too happy to get out and leave the new little family to each other. Charlotte’s death grip on his hand as they made for the door told him she felt the same way.
When they got back to the others in the waiting room, Pete grinned. “We called around everyone, they’re going to meet us at the Boathouse to wet the baby’s head. We’ll see you there.”
Missy came over to them as everyone made their way out. “I can make excuses for you if you don’t want to go.”
Ben looked at Charlotte, not sure if either of them would be able to stand that. She shook her head slightly. “I don’t think I can, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t you be sorry, hon. You do what you need to for yourself.”
“Thanks Miss.”
They walked in silence back to Ben’s car. “You can join everyone if you want to,” said Charlotte.
“I don’t want to. I want to be with you. I’m happy for Emma and Jack, but I couldn’t face the celebrating. I just want us to go home, together. We don’t have to talk, we don’t have to do anything. I want to be with you, the last thing we need right now is to be apart.”
When they got in the car she leaned across and rested her head on his shoulder. “I wasn’t trying to push you away. I want to be with you. I just didn’t want to make you come home and be sad with me when you could go and celebrate with the others.”
Ben closed his eyes against the flash of anger that rose up at her words. “I wish you’d stop thinking like that. I wish you’d stop deciding what might be best for me. Do you really think that I’d be capable of celebrating right now?”
She shook her head sadly. “No, I don’t, I’m sorry.
I’m really not trying to push you away. I think what it comes down to is that I want you to need me as much as I need you, but I’m scared that you won’t.
So, I offer you another option, something else that you might want to do, rather than just say you don’t want to be with me. ”
He looked deep into her eyes. “I understand the fear, but you need to get over it. You need to understand that there is nothing I would rather do, no one I would rather be with than you.” He reached across and stroked her cheek.
“Please, don’t push me away anymore. We need to get through this together. ”
She cupped his hand and pressed her cheek into it. “That’s what I want more than anything. Take me home?”
As he nodded, Ben understood what she was asking. It was time. Time for them to come together and not only face the pain of their past, but make a commitment to their future.
~ ~ ~
When they got back to the house, Charlotte went through to the kitchen and poured them each a glass of wine.
They went to sit outside on the deck. It was dark now and a huge moon was rising over the lake.
They sat in silence for a long time, each lost in their own thoughts.
Charlotte watched the moon as it rose in the sky.
“You know, when I was a kid, I used to think the reflections of moonlight on the water were where it was still dripping.”
Ben turned and smiled at her. “Imagination is a wonderful thing when you’re a kid.”
“Yeah, it’s funny, when you’re a kid you imagine fun things, happy things, all the good things that can happen. When you grow up, you tend to see more of the bad stuff. You take what you’ve experienced and imagination seems to be limited by it, you can only imagine more bad stuff.”
Ben shook his head sadly. “You can still imagine good stuff, if you dare. It’s just that it’s harder to do it when you’re aware of the risks.
When life has hurt you, you try to prepare yourself for more hurt.
You think you can protect yourself somehow, but you can’t.
Hard as it is, it’s better to put yourself out there and look for the good. Otherwise you risk missing out.”
Charlotte nodded. “That’s true. I guess we just have to be brave, don’t we?”
“We do.”