Chapter 24
Ryleigh
He wants me to be his girlfriend?
He’s going about it in an offhand way…but there’s no doubt in my mind that’s what he’s trying to say. I’m frustrated, though, because he seems to be back pedaling already.
“Angus, I’m not afraid of the press. I’m one of them. What are they going to say? Oh, gee, a grown-ass woman is dating a grown-ass sexy, bad-boy drummer.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “They’re going to say a broke, struggling journalist just latched onto the heir to the Hollingsworth fortune—” He holds up a hand before I can protest. “That’s not how I feel. I’m just telling you what the press is going to say. And then they’ll talk about how my family bought us a record deal. Maybe even how I’m the only reason you have a job at Rock Harder …”
I narrow my eyes in annoyance. “But none of that is true.”
“That’s never stopped them before.”
“Is that supposed to scare me?”
“I don’t know. Does it?”
“No.”
“It should.” He reaches out and pulls me against him. “I’m almost a decade older than you, I grew up with the insanity, and I’m still reeling from the aftermath of what’s going on now. Yes, some of this I brought on myself, but the rest of it is exactly why I didn’t want anyone to know who I am in the first place.”
“I can handle it,” I say firmly. “I’m new to Rock Harder but I’m not new to the music business.”
“But you’re new to the Hollingsworth business.”
“Look, if you don’t want to… do whatever it is you’re hinting that you want to do, why did you say anything in the first place? That just tells me you want to. Do this. Whatever it is.” I’m fumbling with my words because asking him if he wants to go steady feels ridiculous, but I’m not sure we’re in a position to talk about a full-on relationship.
He grips me by the arms and lifts me just a little, so our faces are inches apart.
Then he kisses me.
With the same passion and intensity from a few minutes ago, but these kisses are different. He’s trying to tell me something. Show me what he wants. And for whatever reason, he’s having a hard time expressing himself.
So I kiss him back with what I hope is the answer he’s looking for.
And a moment later I feel his hard length probing my entrance. He lifts me off my feet and I hook my ankles behind his back. He slides in slowly this time, pressing his forehead to mine.
“I’ve never met anyone like you,” he whispers.
“Ditto.”
“I want you all the damn time.”
I smile.
“Ditto.”
“I don’t know if I can be the kind of boyfriend you need.”
“If I didn’t think so, I wouldn’t be here.”
He thrusts up, bottoming out, and I moan, all thoughts of conversation forgotten.
“Your pussy’s so fucking tight,” he moans against my mouth. “You keep clenching like that, and I’m not gonna last.”
I squeeze a little harder, and he shudders. “Fuck, baby… why are you trying to kill me?”
“I love watching you come undone,” I whisper. “Knowing that I’m the one who can do that to you—this time, I want you to come for me.”
I don’t know what it is about what I just said but he lets out a low, guttural growl before he starts slamming into me. It’s rough, borderline painful, and the most brutal lovemaking I’ve ever experienced.
But I love it.
My body is like a rocket set to take off, and with each thrust I get a little closer to the edge.
“Fuck. Me. Harder.” I pant out the words, and he complies.
“Angus!” I shriek his name as my orgasm explodes out of me. The back of my head hits the wall but I barely feel it, passion and bliss taking over. His mouth is on mine, and I feel his rasped exclamation as he shoots off inside me. I can feel him pulsing against the walls of my sex, continuing to pump into me until neither of us can move.
“What. The. Fuck.” He finally lowers me to the floor. “Did you hit your head?”
I reach up and gently rub the area that I hit. “Yeah, but it’s okay.”
“Shit, I’m sorry.” He turns me around and forces me to bend my head so he can look at the affected area. “I don’t see any blood or anything.”
“I’m fine, Angus. Don’t worry.” I wiggle out of his grasp and turn to face him again. “I’m not as fragile as you seem to think I am. I’m a pretty tough cookie. Ruptured eardrum notwithstanding.”
He gently cups the back of my neck. “You’re definitely a tough cookie. One of many things I like about you.”
“Oh, tell me more.” I reach for my shampoo. “But tell me while we’re showering because we need to get some sleep.”
“Well, you already know I love your tits…”
* * *
We arrive in Nashville just after noon and we’ve just gotten to a restaurant where we’re going to have lunch when I see Rich’s name flash on the screen of my phone.
“Crap. I have to take this. It’s Rich.” I hurry back outside so I don’t disturb the other diners. “Hey, Rich.”
“What’s going on?” he demands. “Are you better? Back with the band? What’s happening, Ryleigh? We’re not financing you to be on vacation.”
“I had a ruptured eardrum that required a trip to the ER,” I respond sarcastically. “I’m sure my dad would be happy to know you worried about me.”
He sighs. “Look, of course I was worried about your health, but I have to separate the business from the personal. And right now you’re costing me a fortune with hotel rooms and per diems. How’s the story? What’s going on with the band? I had to hear through the grapevine that there are rumors of them breaking up…is it true?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I’ve been in bed for the last few days so I haven’t been around them, but I haven’t heard anything like that.”
“Ryleigh, if you can’t deliver the story I want, there’s no point in your staying on tour.”
This is what scares me.
He wants some kind of exposé that’s going to make the band look bad, while I want to write a human-interest piece, something that will be raw and gritty, but also honest and humane.
At this point, I’m not sure how to pull that off.
I want and need health insurance.
I’d love the prestige of being able to say I’m a staff writer for Rock Harder Magazine .
At least, I think I do.
The longer I do this, the more I’m beginning to wonder.
I’ve gotten close to Kirsten, and not only is she a star in her own right, she’s Sam’s girlfriend. If I write something negative about the band, and Sam by extension, I have no doubt that will be the end of our friendship.
The same thing goes for Lexi.
She plays in a band with Kirsten’s brother-in-law. They’re business associates but also friends and family. If I screw one of them over, I’m essentially guaranteeing I will never, ever have access to either band again.
Not to mention my relationship with Angus.
Now that we’re involved, how the hell am I going to pull off this article?
“Ryleigh?”
“Look, this kind of thing takes time. They have meetings in private, without me. They aren’t going to just start trusting me with everything—I have to build that trust, and the relationships. I’m working on it. I’ve gotten close to both Kirsten and Lexi, which if you recall was the main reason you sent me here, but the guys are a little different.”
“You’re a good-looking woman—use the assets God gave you, for fuck’s sake. This is rock and roll, not the corporate world. You wouldn’t be the first woman to get a story lying on her back.”
“Seriously?” I ask. “My Dad would knock you into the middle of next week if you said that in front of him!”
He laughs. “Honey, why do you think your dad divorced your mom? He couldn’t do what he needed to do if he was married. He knew exactly what he was asking when he asked me to take you under my wing. The only question now is whether or not you have the guts and foresight to do whatever’s necessary to get the story.”
“I don’t need to have sex with anyone to get a story!” I snap, even though I feel a weird sense of discomfiture as I think about Angus and me. I didn’t do it for a story, but now that we’re involved, there’s going to be speculation. I said I was okay with it, but the reality may be totally different.
A blast of music comes out from one of the bars, and I let out a sigh of relief.
“Listen, we’re in downtown Nashville and it’s really loud and busy,” I continue hurriedly. “I’m going to call you later, okay? Once I’m at the hotel. Bye for now.” I quickly hang up and chew the inside of my cheek.
This isn’t going the way I thought it would. None of it.
I have to come clean to Angus, but we’ve literally been official for a day. How do I explain what’s going on?
His voice echoes in my head, telling me what the press is going to say when they figure out we’re involved. While I’m certainly not with him for his money, there will be a lot of speculation about my motives once the article comes out, depending on what I write in it.
It just now occurred to me that I’m falling in love with Angus.
He’s everything I could ever want in a man and makes me ridiculously happy. Even when we’re fighting—because I’ve never had that kind of back and forth with a guy. He’s gorgeous, rich, talented, and incredibly generous. Not to mention amazing in bed. His touch electrifies me, and that deep voice makes me giddy. The way he took care of me when I was sick showed me a softer side, and our conversation about making our relationship official provided insight into his vulnerabilities.
Falling in love was inevitable, but I’m not stupid.
Our relationship might last a week or forever or anything in between, but I can’t be the type of woman who relies on him to take care of me. I learned that lesson from my mom, and I never want to struggle because a guy decides to leave.
I need this job, even though I have no intention of sleeping around.
My independence—and health insurance—is of tantamount importance.
I can’t let my heart override my brain, no matter how wonderful Angus is.
But the truth is—I don’t think I can have both.