Chapter 29
CHAPTER 29
NATE
By the time she’s told them everything, I’ve finished one beer and I’m almost done with my second. I know I’ve got to stay sharp, but I needed something to take the edge off. With Liam and Brody here, I know I can relax a little more than I probably would otherwise.
I’m surprised at how much detail Savanna went into. It’s nothing compared to what she’s told me, but she gave them more than I thought she would.
It was tough listening to it all again, but I can’t deny a weight has been lifted from my shoulders to be able to share this burden with my brothers. The more people that know, the safer I feel Savanna will be, which is my number one priority. With Vincent in town, I need as many eyes as I can get on the situation. If she stays.
Liam is the first one to move once she’s finished. He and Brody opted to stand on the other side of the island while Savanna sat at it, and I stood behind her, rubbing her back to give her strength and comfort while she talked. Now Liam comes around and she turns in her seat, sliding off it when he moves in to hug her.
It moves me. My best friend is completely accepting of the woman I love, and is there to support her in whatever way she needs. I’ve always trusted him with my life, and I know I can trust him with hers.
Brody follows suit, engulfing Savanna in his big arms, pulling her into his massive body. She looks so tiny against him that I can’t help but smile. Even though he’s a gentle giant and hates to hurt even a spider, I can count on him to keep her safe as well. Brody might not be the guy that will fight someone, but he’ll step in front of something and take a blow meant for another.
“You’re one of us,” Brody says when he releases her, and Christ, if that doesn’t choke me up. “We take care of each other.”
I meet his eyes over Savanna’s head and nod my appreciation. Then I look at Liam, and he claps a hand on my shoulder, nodding in understanding, which I’m grateful for because I don’t think I have the words right now.
Liam moves back around the island, crossing his arms over his chest. “I suppose I’ll forgive you for lying to me earlier.”
Savanna grimaces, returning to the chair. “I’m really sorry about that.”
“You can make it up to me by shoving this bullshit of you leaving to the side,” he says coolly.
While he may protect her, I know he’s also trying to protect me. But there’s a warning in my voice when I say, “Liam.”
“Nah, man. Fuck that.” He crosses an ankle over the other, his casual stance contrary to his words. “Nate might stand there and be all noble, putting what you want first, but I’m going to tell you right now, Sav, that if you left it would destroy him. And if everything I know about you is true, it’ll destroy you too. You might as well stay and fight if you’re both going to be miserable.”
“Liam,” I say again, glaring at him.
Before I can say another word, Savanna looks over her shoulder at me, shaking her head. “No, he’s right. I—” She cuts herself off, catching her bottom lip between her teeth as she rotates the stool around to face me. “I could have been gone before you got here, but I couldn’t… I couldn’t leave. Even when every instinct keeps telling me to run, my heart says stay. Stay and fight. Stay and be with you.”
“Sav…”
“I hate the thought of you—any of you—getting hurt because of me. It kills me to think about, just like it killed me with my family.” Pools fill her eyes, but she takes a deep, steadying breath, one that I mirror, and continues. “I can’t go through that kind of heartbreak again.”
Something inside my chest stitches back together. Stepping between her legs, I slide my arms around her shoulders and pull her into my chest. Her own arms wrap around my waist, and I press my lips to the top of her head, taking in her scent. My eyes lift to my two best friends across the island, and I mouth my thanks to them. They both bow their heads in return. Maybe I could have convinced her to stay on my own, but I know having the support of my brothers made it easier.
“So what now?” Liam asks when Savanna and I have released each other and she’s turned back to face him and Brody.
I slide my arm around Savanna’s shoulders, pulling her into my side to press a kiss to the top of her head before I answer. “I’m not sure. We hadn’t gotten that far when you two scared the shit out of us.”
“You were scared?” Savanna asks, surprised.
I look down at her, perplexed. “Of course I was. I thought you were in danger and that was terrifying. But it’s like running into a burning building; just because it’s scary doesn’t mean I’m not going to do it. I’m going to do whatever it takes to keep you safe.”
“We all are,” Liam adds.
When I look over at him, he’s looking seriously between the two of us, and Brody is standing beside him nodding his agreement.
Giving them both a nod, I pull in a deep breath and let it out slowly, looking back to Savanna. “I don’t want you alone. Someone needs to be with you at all times, okay?”
I’m surprised when she doesn’t put up any fight, but then again, I know how scared she is of Vincent.
“We’re on shift in the morning,” Brody says quietly, reminding us that the three of us all have to work tomorrow.
I’d basically forgotten at this point, and I curse now.
“Why doesn’t Savanna just come with us?” Liam suggests. “You could talk to Cap, tell him what’s going on.”
“What? No, I can’t come with you guys to the firehouse!” she says, shaking her head vehemently. “I can just go hang out at the bar.”
“No,” I tell her, my voice firm. “It’s the one place he’s seen you. I don’t want you there without one of us.” Maybe not at all, but I keep that to myself for now.
I look at Liam, thinking about his idea. He, Brody, and I all exchange looks. They’re thinking the same thing I am. It’s a short term solution to a bigger problem, but it’s a good one. With the administration offices, there would always be someone around if we were out on a call, and when we’re not on a call, I can keep a close eye on her.
She’d also have a lot of emotional support and a constant distraction, which I think she could use more than she realizes at this point.
“Sav,” I say, twisting her towards me, my hands coming to rest on her upper arms. “It’s a good plan, at least for tomorrow. We don’t have time tonight to figure something else out. The only other thing I can think of is that I take tomorrow off.”
“No!” she nearly shouts. “No, I won’t let you do that. I don’t want this affecting your work.”
Clenching her jaw, she gives a frustrated cry, pulling out of my grasp to get up from the stool. I let her go, watching as she walks around the kitchen, pushing her hands through her hair. I’d be surprised if her fingers weren’t picked to pieces at this point.
“I hate this. I hate that this is putting you all out and that you’re having to worry about me like this,” she vents, pacing the floor.
“It would be worse if we didn’t know what happened to you, Savanna,” Brody says, sorrow laced in his words. “When I lost Heather, the worst part was not knowing what was happening. The unknown is worse to live through than a little disruption.”
Liam and I exchange a look. Brody doesn’t talk about Heather. He doesn’t talk about what happened to her, or how he feels, or what he went through during the whole thing. We were there for him as much as he let us, but it was something he made himself go through mostly alone. I haven’t told Savanna a lot about it, but she does know Brody lost his wife a couple years ago, and she’s quick to go to him, her arms squeezing around his waist.
“You’re right,” she tells him, nodding firmly when she releases him, glancing around at the three of us. “Okay. I guess I’m coming to work with you guys tomorrow.”
For the first time since Jeremy came rushing through the kitchen doors earlier saying Savanna needed me pronto, I relax. Tonight and tomorrow Savanna will be safe. The rest we can figure out later when emotions aren’t running quite as high, and we’ve all had something to eat and a little sleep.
“Anyone up for some pizza?” I ask, getting a chorus of yeses in response.
I meet Savanna’s eyes and she smiles at me. There isn’t just gratitude swimming in the gray depths, there’s love. Things might be a little screwed up and messy right now, but the look she’s giving me will carry me through. It’ll get me through whatever the next few days hold for us.
“Since we’re sharing and caring,” Savanna says while I pull my phone out to order pizza through an app. “I finished the books today.”
My thumb stills over my screen, my eyes darting up to meet hers. She only catches them for a second before she glances at Liam and Brody, both of whom are watching her, interest piqued.
“We can talk about that tomorrow,” I tell her, recalling the note she left on my desk. Dealing with the bar is the furthest thing from my mind right now, even though I’m relieved she’s got her part done.
She shakes her head, putting her hands on her hips. “I think right now is a good time. Since I know you have a problem accepting help from people, I think it may be wise to share while we’re standing around brainstorming anyway.”
Liam looks pointedly at me, a smirk on his face. Brody snorts. Both amused that Savanna knows me that well already, and is willing to call me out on it, just like they do. Another person to add to their ranks.
I cross my arms over my chest and lean a hip against the kitchen island. Despite being called out, or maybe in spite of it, I grumble, “I can handle it.”
Savanna’s eyes roll in my direction. “That’s what I thought.” She addresses Liam and Brody. “The bar owes the government. There’s some money it can pull from, but not all of it. Given Nate’s resistance to help, I doubt he’ll ask his grandparents for—”
“Absolutely not,” I vehemently disagree.
She continues like I didn’t utter a word. “I was thinking a fundraiser. Maybe a silent auction or something. I hadn’t gotten that far in my thoughts.”
Just the thought makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to take anyone’s charity. “No.”
“Silent auction?” Liam muses as though I haven’t said a word. Like I’m not even there. I grit my teeth, but he continues, “What about a firefighter auction?”
Brody chokes on the beer he was taking a swig out of, coughing the liquid down. My mouth gapes open at Liam and Savanna, the former with a devilish smirk, the latter with an excited gleam in her eye.
“Yes!” Savanna nods with enthusiasm. “It would be so much faster than a silent auction. We wouldn’t have to try and find prizes because you guys would be the prize. Do you know other firefighters who might be willing to participate?”
Liam doesn’t even take a second to think about it. “Definitely.”
“No,” I snarl through clenched teeth. My tone must say enough because they both finally look at me. “No to my grandparents, no to an auction. No to it all. I’ll figure it out. I can take out a personal loan and cover it.”
“Fucking hell,” Liam mutters, grabbing his beer to take a swig.
Savanna’s arms fold over her chest. “Why? Why won’t you let anyone else help you? Why would you take out a loan when you might not need to? Why put yourself in the hole like that?”
“Because I…” My eyes move from each of their three faces. The faces of three people I care a lot about. Three people I can trust in this world.
All they want to do is help—it’s all they’ve ever wanted to do. But for two of them, I’m their leader, and the third, I’m her man. And sure, maybe that sounds like something a disgusting, filthy pig would say, but fuck it, I grew up in a household where the man took care of things.
Savanna can take care of herself; she’s shown me that time and again in the few short weeks we’ve known each other. I don’t doubt her capability or competence. The woman is brilliant. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to take care of her. I want to show her that I’m also capable. Competent.
I don’t want her to see weakness.
My hands grip the edge of the island and I bow my head, closing my eyes. Accepting help isn’t something I do in my life. I took it when Savanna offered to help me with the accounting because I was helpless. I had no idea what I was doing.
And look at the stress it relieved.
I blow out a long breath. There’s no denying it took an enormous weight off my shoulders. It’s made a huge difference in my life. Savanna has made a huge difference. And now she wants to make another difference, and I’m resisting the idea.
A soft, warm hand touches my cheek, turning my face to the side. Opening my eyes, I find Savanna at my side, a tentative smile touching the corners of her lips.
“Vulnerability doesn’t need to have shame attached to it,” she whispers to me. “No one will think less of you for needing help.”
Standing upright, I angle my body towards her. Emotion that I’m unable to hide sounds thick in my voice when I ask, “What if I’ll think less of me?”
“Then we’ll remind you that you wouldn’t think less of us, so you shouldn’t think it of yourself,” she says with a tenderness I’ve not yet heard from her.
“I have no problem smacking you upside the head if you start spouting shit like that,” Liam remarks with a smirk from across the counter.
Savanna sucks her lips into her mouth to keep from giggling while I shoot him a glare. The asshole blows me a kiss, daring me to come over there. Brody stands there, beer bottle in one hand, watching it all unfold. To his credit, he doesn’t laugh, but I can see the amusement lurking across his tanned skin.
All they want to do is help. They care about me enough to want to help. For once, maybe I should allow them. Show them that sometimes I can’t do it all by myself.
Show myself that it’s okay.
I slip my arm around Savanna’s shoulder and pull her into my side, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “What do you think?” I ask, and she looks up at me, eyebrow raised. “Out of these two boneheads, who’d fetch the bigger amount?”
Savanna tosses her head back and laughs, throwing her arms around me in the process. She knows what my question truly means. I’m accepting their help. Allowing them all to come in and rescue me for once.
She gazes up at me, the terror and worry of earlier gone, replaced with a joy I had a hand in creating. “Brody,” she answers with conviction, garnering an uproar from Liam. “No question, hands down, Brody.”
And thus began the great debate.