Chapter 35
CHAPTER 35
NATE
“Is anyone else hungry?” Connor asks the next day, and there’s an eruption of laughter around the room.
Even Savanna is giggling, the sound music to my ears, though I can tell she’s exhausted. “Some things never change, huh, Con?”
“I’m a growing boy!” he tells her, puffing his chest with pride.
Devin rolls his eyes. “You realize you’re a grown ass man, right?”
“Whatever. Who’s hungry? I’m starving. Dad? Dev? Let’s go get some lunch.”
I’m perched on a chair next to Savanna’s bed, my hand covering hers. Our fingers have been brushing each other’s for the last half an hour when she woke up, this time a lot more perky than the night before. Still exhausted, still medicated, but she’s done well for being this awake for so long.
I’m surprised Connor is trying to get everyone to go for lunch, but then maybe he realizes how tired she is.
“What?” Savanna’s dad, Byron, says. “No, I’m not hungry. You go ahead.”
“Dad,” Connor responds firmly. Byron turns to look at his son, and Connor nods towards the door, using a tone that implies he shouldn’t argue. “Let’s go get some lunch.”
“What’s gotten into you? Savanna’s awake, and you want to leave?” Devin asks, frowning, before Byron has a chance to reply.
Connor throws his hands up in the air, the frustration evident. “Yes, Savanna is finally awake, and we’ve said hi. Now we can go so that our sister and her boyfriend can have a minute alone.” He glances my way and shoots me a wink. “Pretty sure Nate doesn’t want to be kissing her with the three of us around, so why don’t we make ourselves scarce for a while?”
I can feel the heat climbing up my neck and into my face. He’s not wrong, but Christ, way to throw me to the wolves. “No, it’s okay, you don’t need to leave.”
“Yes, please go. I’d really like a kiss,” Savanna says at the same time.
The two of us look at each other and laugh, though I’m the first to sober, clearing my throat as I remember our audience.
“Really, you don’t need to leave,” I tell them, shaking my head. “You’ve all traveled so far to be here with her.”
“Dad,” Savanna says, ignoring my remark. “I promise later on I’ll kick everyone out, including Nate, and you and I can sit together and talk alone.” She glances up at her brothers next, adding, “I’m getting tired anyway. I don’t think it’ll be long before I’m passing out again. Go for lunch, and when you get back, I’ll be good as new.”
It doesn’t take much more convincing after that. The three men shuffle out after they each give Savanna a kiss on the forehead, offering to bring both of us back something. Connor makes sure I also hear him say I owe him one. I can’t deny it. The guy is looking out for me.
I’ve been dying to kiss her for days, especially after her declaration last night, and then her waking up this morning. It wasn’t how I wanted to hear her say it for the first time, but I know why she did it. She didn’t know if she was going to survive, and she wanted me to know before she went. It killed me she couldn’t hear me say it back to her.
I never should have waited to tell her how I felt. I should have told her as soon as I realized, but I didn’t want to scare her away. She’d already been through so much, could spook so easily, I thought holding onto the words would be better. Plus, I didn’t want it to have anything to do with Vincent. After the last couple of days, however, I’ve come to the realization that it doesn’t matter what’s going on in our lives, if I love her, and I do, she needs to know it.
With her family gone, it’ll be a lot easier to tell her everything that’s been sitting in my heart, waiting for this chance.
Connor is hardly out the door when she tugs on my hand to pull my attention to her. I turn to find her smiling at me, waiting expectantly for the kiss we both want. Need. I surpassed want the second I knew she was gone from the firehouse.
Still holding her hand, I stand from the chair and move to the edge of the bed, lowering myself to it beside her. I take note of those gray eyes, tired but shining with happiness that she’s here, awake, alive, and I know that mine mirror hers.
Lifting my hand to her face, I brush my fingers along her jawline, then tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. I didn’t know it was possible for my heart to feel like it’s grown immeasurably because of another human, but here I am. So fucking in love with this woman, the last couple of days have nearly killed me. Just seeing her eyes open has me on cloud nine.
I honestly don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost her.
“I know, but I’m okay,” she whispers, squeezing my fingers. I wonder if I said the words out loud, or if the emotion is just conveyed by the look I’m giving her. “I’m sorry for putting you through that.”
“Shh,” I murmur, shaking my head before the words are out of her mouth. “Don’t be sorry. This isn’t your fault. I’m just glad you’re okay.”
Now Savanna is shaking her head at me. “But I’m not. I won’t be until you kiss me.”
That makes me chuckle.
Leaning in, I bring both hands to her face to cup it, my lips tenderly brushing across hers. It’s soft and sweet. I don’t intend to turn it into anything else, but Savanna has different ideas, the gentle kiss not enough for her.
Moving towards me, she groans so I gently push her back to the bed, my lips becoming harder against hers. When I tilt her head she complies easily, opening to me, sighing into my mouth as my tongue sweeps into the warm crevice of hers. She tastes like mint from the mouthwash she used after she first woke up, and I wonder if she was thinking ahead to this inevitable moment.
It’s a long, languid kiss, one I’m sure we’ll repeat a few times before she falls asleep, but I finally ease back, breaking our lips apart. I smile at the dreamy appearance on her face, her eyes opening to reveal a dazed look. I’m not sure if it’s from the kiss or the medication, but I’m going to choose to believe it was the former.
“You okay now?” I question with amusement.
“Feeling much better, but you should probably do that a few more times, just to be on the safe side,” she says, grinning. I can tell it hurts when she winces, her expression falling. “How bad is it?”
I frown. “How bad is what?”
She shifts uncomfortably, her gaze dropping. Quietly, she clarifies, “My face.”
I rub my thumbs gently along her cheekbones, my fingertips dancing along her jawline. I take in the clear parts of her skin, the bruises that mar the skin beneath her eyes, and the angry red lines from the gashes on either side of her head. There’s one above her temple, the other below her hairline, glue holding both wounds together.
Sighing contentedly, my lips crook upward as I take in all the different parts of her. “You’re more beautiful than the day I saw you checking me out in that elevator .”
Her eyes roll, but at least they lift back to mine. “Nate, seriously.”
“I am being serious,” I tell her, my tone earnest. I search her eyes, imploring her to believe me. “I thought you were stunning then, but that was before I knew you. Before I knew your strength, your smarts, your willingness to put other’s safety above your own. Before I knew your laugh, and your smile, or how your eyes sparkle when you’re excited or happy.”
A blush creeps into her cheeks, and my smile deepens. I can tell she wants to look away from me out of shyness, but she doesn’t. Her show of bravery fuels me, spurring me forward.
“You are one of the most courageous women I’ve ever met, and I am so damn proud to call you mine. Don’t ever doubt I find you more beautiful today than I did that day,” I say sincerely, watching her cheeks redden by the second. “Tomorrow I will find you more beautiful than today, because every day I learn something more about you, and each new thing adds to your beauty.”
“Nate…”
I put a thumb over her lips, gently brushing it along the fullness. “I should have told you this when I first realized it, but I didn’t want to taint it. I wanted a perfect moment without anything hanging over our heads, but I know now that doesn’t matter. Perfection is what we make it, and there’s no more perfect moment than now.”
I can see the hope in her eyes, and I slide one hand into her hair, leaning close enough I can feel her breath on my lips but pausing to still see her eyes. “Savanna, I love you. So much. I didn’t realize I could love someone as much as I love you.”
Tears are shining in her eyes, making them sparkle in the most brilliant way. “I love you too, Nate. So, so much. I wish I’d told you sooner too, but we’re not going to live in the past with any regrets, okay?” Fisting my shirt in her fingers that are poking out of her cast, she tugs me forward until our lips are barely brushing. “Promise me?”
I still, pulling back enough to look at her. I can hear the implication in her words; more than not telling her I loved her, she doesn’t want me to feel guilty, or blame myself for what happened. She already knows me well enough to know that’s exactly where my thoughts have taken me. It makes me feel naked and vulnerable in front of her, but I face it, face her, being brave like she’s been for me.
“Sav…”
“It wasn’t your fault, Nate. You did everything you possibly could to protect me. I made a choice. More than one of them.” A tear falls from her eye as she runs her fingers along the stubble on my face. I haven’t shaved in a few days and her fingers running over the thick whiskers feels nice.
“You still saved me. You got me to trust you, to tell you what was going on. You kept me safe this entire time. You got me to love your friends and trust them too, and when I needed you all the most, you were there,” she says with conviction. “If it hadn’t been for you, no one would have been following me. Liam wouldn’t have been there to help me as quickly as he did.”
Her fingers curl into my jaw, ensuring I’m paying attention, though I don’t think I could tear my eyes off her if I wanted to. “If I didn’t love you, I might not have had the will to survive, or the courage to crash the car. Loving you got me through this. So promise me—no regrets.”
I have to take a few shaky breaths, swallow a lump of emotion in my throat, and sniff twice before I can find the strength to speak. I never would have looked at it like that if it weren’t for her. I’d have spent day after day beating myself up, even after the talk with Brody.
Savanna’s declaration releases me, sets me free of my own guilt, though I’m sure I’ll still need to work through some of it. Finally, I nod. “I promise. No regrets. No living in the past.”
The smile I get in return lights up her eyes, and though I’m sure it still hurts, she doesn’t flinch this time. “Good. Now kiss me until I’m so tired I have no option but to sleep. And when I wake up, I want you to tell me the full story of the auction.”
Warmth blooms in the center of my chest and moves outward until it fills every inch of me. The auction was a success. Jordan said we’d have enough money to cover the bill with the money the bar already had. Everyone rallied together to help. Even when I didn’t want to take it, even when I’d lost the ability to care.
“Just wait until you hear about Liam’s outrage at earning far, far less than Brody,” I tell her with a chuckle, my lips hovering right above hers.
Her closed eyes pop open with surprise, which quickly transforms into amusement. “Don’t tempt me out of a quick make-out session.”
My lips brush across hers with the same gentleness of our first kiss. I murmur against her lips, “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
Then I kiss her and kiss her. Until she’s so tired she has to sleep.