Chapter Twenty-Thre
Liza’s POV
My eyes were glazed at the time when I opened them.
I exhaled dryly after the release of a slight moan.
It was the wake of morning, and I felt as though I moved slowly and somewhat heavy.
I was certain that something was wrong the moment my eyes blinked open.
The room tilted to one corner while I sat upright, and I felt nauseous.
By the time I push myself up, my hands are shaking.
I tried to stand, and it turned out to be a bad idea. The nausea was getting real, and I couldn’t get myself together to rise.
The tiles on the floor seemed so slippery, and I felt as though I floated on water. My head seemed to spin, which affected my vision. I grabbed the edge of the lamp stand and began to pant, breathing through my nostrils like I’d run a marathon.
“Calm down, Liza,” I said in a low whisper. “Don’t panic. Everything is going to be fine if you just relax.” But I couldn’t relax. The pressure that boiled inside me rose in a rush, and I couldn’t get myself to concentrate due to the anxiety I felt.
I was drenched with sweat, and it all seemed kind of familiar, like it was something I had experienced before. I bent over with my hands placed atop my knees. The dizziness increased each time I closed my eyes, so I kept them open.
“Liza?” Roman’s voice shot through my ears, and I tried to stand upright.
“Are you alright ?” He asked. The crease on his forehead and the way he raised his hand towards me were enough proof that he didn’t know what had happened. I don’t even know the moment he rose from the bed. Tension covered his tightened jaw when he walked towards me.
“Come, Liza,” he said, “you don’t look all right.”
“What the hell are you talking about? I’m fine, baby.” It took hundreds of muscles for me to force a smile and eventually sigh.
Roman’s hands were glued to my arms; the exhaustion seemed evident now because he tried to keep me standing upright.
“I don’t think you’re fine, Liza. You look pale and tired. Come…sit back down on the bed.”
“You really don’t need to do this, Roman.”
“I know, just sit, Liza. It’s not the right time for you to be stubborn.” My exhale exposed me, but I didn’t want to look weak in front of him.
“Come on, Liza, take a seat on the bed,” he said, and then I felt something like a sting on my body, which made me feel cold. The air passed over us, and I felt the cold. My skin had begun to get sweaty, and the weakness settled in my stomach for a while.
“I’m fine,” I said through a cracked voice.
Roman sighed and stood in silence as though he didn’t want to argue with me.
Unknown to me, his hands reached to the lower end of my back, and he lifted me in a subtle caution and moved me back to the bed.
I felt the way my head sank into the pillow right before I closed my eyes.
My head still spun, and I listened to the thud of my heartbeat at a fast tempo.
Then everything went silent.
I felt my body move to the side, and the way Roman called my name with urgency made me scared. Like something worse had happened to me, and I was on the brink of death. His hand held on to my back while I sat, and then I closed my eyes.
“Look at me, Liza!” I couldn’t open my eyes or move a muscle.
“Shit!” He cursed beneath his breath. “Damnit!” And then his voice rose higher and higher while he called out for Alina.
The door opened with a bang a few moments later, and I suspected that it was Alina who walked in. I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn’t. This made me fear that I was paralyzed, until I felt a cold finger open up my eyes, and they remained open for a short while.
Alina’s facial expression was clouded by concern. She took a quick look at me and widened my eyes with her fingers for a few seconds. Once she let go, they closed.
Her hands began to move around my body.
“What happened?” she asked Roman. I didn’t hear him say anything for a short while, yet I managed to get my eyes opened to see the look on his face.
“I don’t know,” he said.
“So you mean to tell me that nothing transpired between you and your wife before all this?”
“Nothing much happened,” he said, and Alina gave him a side eye of disbelief.
“I swear. It all just kind of happened. I saw her struggle to stand, and she bent over. She looked exhausted, and then I told her to lie back down on the bed. She refused to listen, and I insisted, but she kept saying that she was fine. So, I moved her gently to the bed, and I feared she was getting unconscious. I swear I…”
“You are supposed to keep her calm, not argue with her,” Alina cut Roman short of his words, and I remained silent.
“Her blood pressure is high, and she’s also highly stressed,” Alina continued.
I told you she needed her rest. Anything that would stress Liza is of no good to her.
Even the slightest arguments can raise her stress level.
Ensure you both don’t get into any arguments.
Also, any sudden emotional disruption could lead to something worse. So avoid it as well.”
For a minute, I was grateful that I wasn’t able to say or do anything. Roman said nothing either, and I waited for a while to hear him speak.
Alina glared at him with mild outrage. She’s warned him about not getting me stressed out way too many times, and this was only the umpteenth time she repeated herself to him in hopes that she’d made herself clear, and I hoped he listened.
I really did. A good baby girl treatment wouldn’t be bad at this time, I thought.
“Lie down fully,” she said to me gently. “Lift your feet a little bit to the top and breathe slowly.” I did everything she said I should, and the nausea eased for a little while. My eyes hurt from the reflection of light that streamed in from the balcony, and the dizziness remained.
“Do you think it’s the pregnancy that’s causing this to happen?” I tried my best to whisper those words
Alina sighed. Her eyes looked as though she had pity on me right before she replied.
“Yes. And no.”
“What on earth do you mean by that?” I asked, my voice remained still like a river while I awaited her response.
“Your body is reacting to stress. You’ve been through a series of events that all add up to traumatic experiences.
I mean, it would be understandable for anyone who’s experienced a wedding catastrophe to have his blood pressure high.
And in your condition…” She hesitates. “It is not safe. Not at all.”
My heartbeat began to increase with a loud thud in my ears. If this could affect me, was it possible that I could also affect the baby?
“What of the baby?” I asked, and she straightened out her shirt.
“Don’t worry, your baby is still hanging on in there,” she said with no trace of doubt in her tone. Roman’s hands tightened into fists at the sides of his body. I liked the way he stood and paid lots of attention. His face was plastered in worry, yet I wanted him to say something.
Alina adjusted the blanket around me and then turned around to face Roman again.
“I warned you, but you wouldn’t listen,” she uttered with low intonation. Her gaze shot towards him sternly right before she continued. “Liza cannot be involved in anything stressful. Yet you find a way to keep dragging her into whatever it is that you have to do.
“We have only gone to a charity gala since the wedding.”
“Then stop taking her to places where you know clearly that she’s not meant to go. Liza is still recovering, so I’d like you to do me this one big favor.” Alina said
“And what favor is that?”
“I don’t want you to give her information; she is not physically prepared to handle—”
Roman’s voice sounded rough when he answered. “I swear I never meant to hurt her. I swear.”
“Then stop pushing her to do things on your own terms, even if it makes you feel good. Environments mostly invite traumatic experiences, and that’s harmful for both of you.
Something like this, if not properly handled, can lead to a miscarriage.
” Alina’s words made me open my eyes in shock. I wasn’t prepared for a miscarriage.
“You’re in your early stages of pregnancy and still recovering from a traumatic event, Liza. It’s crazy for you to convince yourself that you’re fine when you know quite well that it’s hard for you to keep a firm stance.”
I swallowed hard because she was right. If only I had obeyed Roman at the first take when he told me to lie back down, I would’ve recovered from the pressure instead of scaring him to call Alina, who now scolded us.
Alina kept talking to Roman, and I paid no attention. My head felt slightly heavy now, and the ease that encompassed me after the breeze blew past my face was soothing.
It wasn’t long before Alina walked out. The door jammed behind her, and the room returned to the silence I had heard the time I woke up.
Roman, on the other hand, stood at the side of the bed and stared at me in a gaze that made me feel like he was sorry for me. I knew that Alina’s words made him feel like this was his fault, but to be fair, I also shared a part of the blame, so it was 50/50.
It surprised me to see him kneel on his knees beside the bed, right before he held my hand and gently grazed from my palm to my elbow. He returned his hands, and they locked in mine like a fist.
“Liza…” He called to me with much calm and intention. Then he said something in Russian, and I found it to sound so sweet. He apologized for putting my precious life at so much risk, and I didn’t like that he apologized because it made me feel guilty.
“I can’t afford to lose you, Liza. I can’t afford to lose you and the baby. And I know it might be hard for you to open up, but please, try.”
I let him kiss the top of my hands. “No more secrets,” I said to him, my voice was cracked and weak.
“Then no more secrets then.” Roman’s smile was attractive.
Seeing him like this was one of the most vulnerable states that I had seen him in. I thought of him as a courageous man to go on his knees, and it almost broke me down to tears.
***********
Later that night, Roman walked towards me, held my hands up, and asked if I was strong enough to go watch a movie with him.
“Of course I can, why not?”
“I’m trying to take caution because of what Alina said, you know…the things about stress and all.”
I smiled. “Come on, Roman, I’m not that fragile or sick. I’m just pregnant.”
“I know,” he said while he lifted me up from the bed till I took my stand.
He didn’t let go of my hands until we arrived at the cinema.
The air was cold and quiet. He got us some popcorn from the corner, and I squeezed myself into his body while he covered me with the warm blanket that lay at the side.
“What would you like us to watch?” I asked.
“Shutter Island. It’s a great movie, and I’ve had it for a while now, but I haven’t watched it.
All through the movie, I told him of the things that were going to happen before they happened. While I felt happy in the process, Roman sighed, and I noticed that he hated spoilers.
“Hey, you should make it clear if you prefer to narrate the movie or watch it.”
“Aren’t you having a good time?” I asked, and his head creased.
“Of course I’m having a good time. It’s just that the movie gets less interesting when you spoil everything.”
“Roman, it’s not much of a spoiler if I tell you that it’s all in his head.”
“Okay, that’s it,” he said. “We’re watching something else.”
He switched to Hulu, and the movie he played bored me to sleep.
I woke up later in the night and found myself in the bedroom.
Roman wasn’t in bed, and I got worried. I feared he’d gone out for a meeting again.
But then I heard a sound coming from his study.
I gently walked towards the entrance and leaned on the wooden frame while I saw Roman work through the ajar door.
I wondered what kept him up. Yet, I had a nudge in my heart that he worked on the piece of evidence that was in the drive.
I believed he froze my dad’s accounts, and I knew that things would only get messy from this point.