Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
LOCH
A knock on my door cracks my eyelids open.
“Bruh!” A husky voice whisper-shouts. “Open the fucking door before Alena busts me out here.”
Adrenaline hits my veins. Jumping up, I whip my cabin door open to…
Jace.
Motherfucking sweet pain in my ass, brother number five, Jace.
“Took you long enough.” He shoulders past me, aiming for my kitchen. “She could bust me here any minute.”
Another jolt hits my veins, and I scan outside to our shared parking area. Alena’s truck is gone. Sunday. That’s right. She’s working today.
“Then why the fuck did you risk coming here?”
I let Mutt out and stand in the doorway, watching him mark his territory on a tree—such an alpha dog like me—while Jace starts rummaging through my fridge.
“Because I waited at the bottom of the mountain for her to drive by before I came up. And… I’m hungry.” He grabs a covered bowl of chili and a spoon, eating it cold. “Aren’t you supposed to be guarding her?”
“Yeah, and I am.” Mutt goes to her door, sniffing, confirming what I already know. Alena’s safe at work because I sent the real threat packing yesterday. “You checked on that Carter fucker, right?”
“Yeah. He’s gone,” Jace talks with his mouth full.
I turn to Jace, who’s leaning against my countertop. “Did you see him?”
“My Glock saw his face, but he didn’t see mine. Pissed himself though.”
Jace wore a mask. Usually, we do when we work.
“What about his girlfriend?”
He shrugs. “Wasn’t there, just him, jumping in his truck with a go-bag and wizzed jeans.”
Trotting past me, Mutt enters, aiming for Jace.
He’s such a slut for ear-scratches and leftovers.
Jace gives Mutt a head pat before loading his spoon with more chili, glancing around my place. When he spots the ring light by my bed, his bite hovers in front of his lips. “Bruh? Really? You can’t stop pulling your massive pud online, even when you’re on a protection detail?”
Last night, after my performance, I closed my laptop and passed out from exhaustion. It wasn’t physical. It was emotional.
I’ve been falling for Alena for years, and last night, I finally landed. My feet found me on the ground, inches from her, with my heart pounding in my chest, and I was done waiting.
I had to kiss her.
It was that, or my goddamn ribs would explode.
But when she moaned at my kiss, when I finally grabbed her hips, my dick almost exploded in my pants. Thank fuck my heart wouldn’t do it.
I won’t rush Alena. We’ll go at her speed. Even though Boner feels it’s glacial and bullshit, I won’t fuck this up. If there’s a way for Alena to fall in love with me, I’ll find it.
So I did what most men do. Women, too, I guess. I found my hand in my pants, trying to give myself relief for another day.
But last night was different.
Yeah, I always think of Alena when I come, but this time, it’s like I had an erotic fever dream.
My loyal OnlyFan, @DirtTGirl, suddenly smeared some line in my psyche, like the two women became one in an orgasmic hallucination of lust and love colliding, and that shit can’t happen again.
I’ve gotten by on jerking off, imagining Alena. On pleasing fans while I do it. Yes, it’s my kink. It’s been my odd way of staying celibate for her.
But now?
I have a real chance with Alena, and I’d never cheat on her. I don’t need OnlyFans when I can finally have the only one I want.
Quickly, I pack my gear, hiding it under the bed. “Whatever, man. I did it for a good cause.”
“Uh, yeah.” Jace laughs. “’Cause you like masturbating.”
“And you don’t?”
“Nah, I prefer the real thing.”
“Uh-huh, and what’s her name?” I make my bed, met by his silence. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. So, until you claim her, you’re in love with Palmala Handerson.”
He chuckles, setting his bowl in the sink.
I point to it. “Wash that shit.”
He scoffs, “I’m here, doing you a favor.”
“No, you’re here working for The Queen, just like me, and I ain’t your maid.”
The Queen is our mom, and all she had to do when we were boys was raise an eyebrow, and our home was suddenly spotless.
“Yeah, well, you ain’t a fucking ray of sunshine either.” Jace crosses his arms. “When was the last time you had the real thing?”
I open my mouth to answer, and… What year is it? Oh shit, has it been that long? I’ve been so consumed, infiltrating Alena’s world; I haven’t wanted anyone else.
I shrug a shoulder. “Probably as long as you. Since that night in the Atlanta club with the bisexual brunettes.”
Jace’s eyebrows meet his hairline. “Dude, that was almost three years ago!”
“And it was a helluva night that’s lasted me this long.”
Actually, I think the bi brunettes came there more into each other than us.
But I know my brother. We’ve traded romance books and random women at a club. He’s into the paranormal, while I’m drawn to alphas. Book tropes, not women, though I’m not opposed to alien freaks and felines in charge.
Either way, I know Jace. I know when he’s pining for someone.
But he knows me, as well. His blue eyes narrow as he glances over his shoulder, through my kitchen window, and over to Alena’s cabin. Picking up my binoculars, I left by the sink, he shakes them.
“And this is just work, right? You, guarding Alena?”
“Pft.”
That’s my pathetic attempt at a grand deception. That, and since I think of Alena every time I come, it’s really damn hard lying to my brother’s face about her, so I look away.
Jace clocks it. “Bruh, if you fuck with Alena, Nash will kill you.”
“No shit, Sherlock.”
“Loocchh,” he growls my one-syllable name into three. “I’m serious. Nash, Mom, Axel; hell, the whole family will kill you. There are four billion women on this planet. Find another one.”
I laugh, looking at him. “You googled that shit, didn’t you? Because you’re in love with a woman you can’t have.”
“Oh fuck,” he mutters. “That means it’s true. You’re in love with Alena, aren’t you?”
If you yell a lie, is it more believable? Don’t know. Let’s try. “Hell, no!”
“Aw, man.” He shakes his head. “Let it slide. It won’t last. You just have white knight syndrome.”
“Leave my sword out of this.”
“Can’t.” He gestures to my dick. “Apparently, you were swinging it and sending out the troops last night.”
I glance down, wincing when I realize I’m still in my leather pants. Thank fuck I took off my cum-stained shirt.
“Exactly.” I go with the lie. “I got Boner and my OnlyFans. I don’t need to fuck Nash’s daughter, too, so chill.”
No, I need to make Alena fall in love with me.
I sat across the table from her last night, and when she said, “Kids with a husband,” she was talking about me. About us. You can’t convince my heart otherwise. I had to kiss her.
“Look, man.” Jace surrenders his colossal hands. “We share blood and bromance over romance. You and me; we’re fucking Great Danes, and—”
“We’re what?”
“Great Danes.” He looks at me like I should know the world is flat. “We’re not little golden retriever bitch boys. We’re big. Imposing. Protective. Harmless unless provoked, and then we’ll rip someone apart. We kill. We win. Otherwise, we’re softies, and—”
“I’m not soft.”
“Not your dick. I mean your heart.”
“I know what you meant, and it’s what I mean. I’m not soft in the heart. I’m hardened.” I punch my chest. “I’ll never betray our family. I’ll always protect us. I know what…” I gulp. “I know what he did to you. To all of you, and I’ll die before I won’t do my part.”
Jace swallows his emotions.
We rarely say “Father” or “Dad.” That’s not who Ruslan Kholodov is to us. Satanic sperm donor. Abusive anti-Christ. Pick any evil synonym, and that’s who we’re talking about.
We’re talking about the man who’d lock Jace in a wooden trunk by the desk in his office.
Grant told me about it. How Jace was just a little boy, and to train him to “toughen up” and “be a man,” our supposed father would lock Jace inside the trunk, like his little casket, and let him scream, terrified for hours.
My mom would take a beating, trying to get her son out. So did Sire. So did Axel. They were our oldest brothers and endured so much for us.
Now, we all hate our father. They have scars, and Jace has a paralyzing fear of small places.
I soften toward my brother. I love him. It’s why we give each other shit. “Look,” I confess. “Is Alena pretty? Yes. She’s strong, smart, and sweet, and funny as fuck too. Any man would be lucky to have her, but I’m not him, and I know it. Okay?”
I hear myself say it.
Hear myself prophesying my future.
Even if Alena falls in love with me, she’ll hate me once she realizes who I really am and how I’ve lied to her.
My shoulders sag, the truth sending my heart to my feet.
“Alright, man. I believe you.” Jace softens in reply. “You’re doing your job, and—”
My work radio squawks from its charging station on my nightstand. I crane my ear, listening to the dispatcher.
“Fuck!” I rip off my leather pants. I didn’t clock it earlier. “Was it raining this morning?”
“Yeah.” Jace shares, “It fucking poured all night. It just stopped an hour ago. Why?”
I aim for my closet and get dressed lightning fast. “Because we have a flash flood warning.”
“Yeah, and…?”
“And that means the rivers around here become walls of water, the waterfalls, tsunamis, and now we got a rescue at Looking Glass. I gotta go.” I step into my boots and grab my pack.
“Go.” Jace juts his chin. “I’ll feed Mutt and lock up behind you.”
“Thanks, man.” I don’t say goodbye as I rush out the door.
Ten minutes later, I park my truck on the shoulder of the road, leading to Looking Glass Falls. Rangers. Fire. Police. Ambulances. Tourists. Even a news van is here.
Grabbing my gear, I ignore them. Rushing past, I find the rescue crew assembled down the winding stairs, on the lower concrete platform at the edge of the river.
Without a word, Alena glances up, nodding at me before she returns her focus to the local fire chief, directing the rescue.
“We’ve already been across,” he shouts over the roaring falls. “She’s screaming and panicked and won’t let us near her.”