Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
LOCH
“Hey, ladies!”
I wave at Lucy and Luna, the tatted blonde twins and extreme bartenders Mom adores. They’re an attraction at the club, flipping bottles with flair.
“Hey, stranger.” Luna twirls a steel shaking tin like a baton. “What brings you home?”
“Meeting with Mom and my shitheads.”
Luna grins, grabbing a glass, spinning it. “Well, if those men are shitheads, sign me up to live in an outhouse.”
She’s kidding. Luna loves to hate men. Fuck them? Yes. Love them? Impossible.
She’s a cold-hearted cutie who’s just a friend and knows I’m talking smack about my brothers.
Without asking, she mixes my favorite mocktail, a fizzy banana. It’s apropos for a sex club: bananas, coconut milk, maple syrup, two cherries, and seltzer for a frothy top.
At Mom’s club, the first rule is consent. The second rule is no alcohol. The two don’t mix.
“Bananas up.” I make Luna grin, toasting her with my glass before sucking on my straw as I glance around.
Been a minute since I’ve been here. The padded sex benches, submission horses, and bondage towers in the BDSM section of the club twitch my cock. It’s how Delphine trained me.
She has similar furniture at her house.
But I wasn’t the one chained to it.
She was.
While Grant waited upstairs, Delphine led me to their sex dungeon. Really, it was their suburban basement with a treadmill and a wine bar, but I was too nervous to care when she told me to strap her to a bondage tower. She challenged me to pleasure her because, honestly, she wasn’t into me.
At all.
That was the point.
With Delphine’s instruction, I studied every inch, every erogenous zone on a woman’s body until she had to submit to my pleasure, until she had to come.
Then came the lessons on teaching my dick not to explode. At twenty-two, that’s like telling the sun not to rise. But with practice, I learned to wait, to please. And a kink was born.
The phone in my back pocket vibrates. I take it out. It’s FIVE. Jace. I answer, grinning, “Great Dane’s Dating Service, how can I help?”
“Woof you,” Jace mutters. “You know she’s here?”
“Yup.”
Alena’s hanging out with her best friend, the manager of a sex shop, and I’m not complaining. I saw the sex toys Vale must be gifting Alena, the ones hidden in her nightstand. Soon, we’ll play with them.
“Okay, then, Detective Dickwad, did you know Alena’s coming to the club tonight? With Vale?”
“What?” I whip away from the bar. Lucy and Luna know some of our secrets, but not the kings and queens part, not the Bratva part. “Alena can’t come here. It’s where we get intel and meet and—”
“Fuck?” Jace chuckles, “Yeah, I’m picking up what you’re putting out.”
“I don’t fuck here.”
“But you get your Dom on there.”
“It’s been years.”
Even then, I didn’t fuck a sub; I made her come. Many times. Usually, in front of her husband, to teach him a thing or a hundred.
But fuck a woman? It’s been over three years, and I felt like an asshole because all I could do was close my eyes and think of Alena. It’s the only way I can come, and that’s a real shitty thing to do to another woman, so I gave up on them.
Sort of.
That’s how I became @LuvPounder.
I’d been trained to please, and since I couldn’t pleasure Alena, I settled for strangers online. It made me celibate, but less lonely as I gained fans, realizing I was helping thousands like me—people wanting love, but settling for online sex.
And all this time, my most loyal fan was Alena?
God, @DirtTGirl was so shy, so curious yet insecure. It took me months to earn her trust, to tell me her fantasies, to make some come true.
She had a thing for doing naughty things in stores, and I liked pleasing her. Telling her what to do and praising her when she sent me videos. They were hot as fuck, though I never saw her face.
Did I love @DirtTGirl? No, I cared for her, as I do my other loyal fans. I’m not an asshole. I felt a responsibility for them. I’m trained to Dom and deliver pleasure. It gave me pride and gratification, and honestly, relief from not having Alena.
But it was never that feeling.
The feeling Alena gives me. The one when her smile feels like dawn, exploding its light across my chest.
And now…
I thought I was a man until I kissed Alena. Thought I knew who I was until I touched her. I made her moan and didn’t know it was possible for a woman to own a man—mind, body, and soul. I felt it in my blood, my bones, the animal inside me awakening. Claim her. Keep her. Kill for her.
It’s not a fairy tale; it’s fate when you find the beauty that makes you her beast.
And I’m not going back.
Jace laughs. “Well, brother, you might want to dust off your leather hood because she’s coming, masked, to the club tonight.”
“But Mom is here,” I hiss. “Nash too. What the fuck is she thinking?”
And why is Alena coming here? I thought we were a thing now. I’d never cheat on her, so why is she sneaking into a sex club without me? Is this another secret she hides from me? Like @LuvPounder?
The fucking asshole, and yes… I know it’s me.
Then again, I have no fucking right. No room to judge. I’m the liar, not her.
Jace answers my first question, “I think she knows she’s an adult, and she’ll be in disguise with her best friend.”
Logic fires fast. Jace. Delta’s. Vale and Alena, thick as hot thieves, and my brother, the expert eavesdropper.
“What is she wearing tonight?”
“A hot as fuck white silk dress and a lace hood.”
“That narrows it down,” I seethe, pacing the floor. “It’s black and white night.”
“Yeah”—bet the fucker is smiling—“and you got a problem because Alena’s just a job, right? You’re not into her. You won’t recognize her banging ass body in a tight dress from a mile away, will you?”
I’d recognize Alena’s banging body while blindfolded, among a hundred women, and only by feel, even though I haven’t explored her yet.
That’s what happens when you love someone from afar. You map every curve you can’t have, every smile that’s not for you, every touch you’ve never shared.
I was making Alena mine. Slowly. Carefully. Hopefully.
But Fate keeps slamming us together like magnets. Rushed, raw, and real, we’re drawn to each other, though I know it’ll only rip us apart one day.
Or tonight.
I don’t answer Jace, and he laughs. “Have fun.” It’s not fun. It hurts my chest, and my brother drops the asshole act, sensing it. “Hey, man.” He eases up. “Look. If this is what you can’t tell me it is, then I’m sorry. I know what it’s like to love someone you can’t have.”
I cast my stare to the ceiling. “What if you can have her? Even for a little while before you hurt her? Is love worth the pain of losing it?”
It’s his turn to be silent before he offers, “You know how you look like Maxim? Mom’s second king?”
I swallow. “Yeah.”
“He didn’t get many years with Mom, and it almost killed her, losing him. I’d hear her crying at night. But at least he lived and died loving her. Their love was worth the pain.”
“Yeah.” I nod. “It saved us.”
I wish I shared more memories with my brothers. My life would make more sense. Their memories give them a purpose—fighting our evil father.
But me? I’ve always followed.
Brothers. Orders. Rules. Missions.
Finally, I’m following my heart—Alena.
It was so cute when she blurted the girlfriend word, like it was a mistake, when fuck no, it’s not. I’m here for it. She’s mine.
So why is she sneaking into a sex club? Without me?
My phone vibrates again. I glance at the screen, not used to seeing this name on it. “Hey, uh,” I tell Jace, “Gotta go. Make sure she gets here safely.”
I end our call and answer the other, strangled by Fate’s puppet strings.
“Ranger Allen?”
“Hey… uh… Dom?” Fuck, how can I be mad when she sounds so cute? “Are you with your mom?”
“Uh…” I glance at the one-way glass on the third level, overlooking the club. “Yeah, I’m in her office. She owns a company.”
Alena admires out loud, “She sounds badass.”
“She is.”
But I’m not focused on her; I’m focused on why you’re coming to her club.
I hear a blow dryer in the background. Alena must be at Nash’s house or Vale’s place.
“Listen, I, uh… uh…” She’s flustered; usually it’s sweet but stinging now. “Shit, I don’t know how to say this to you.” Babygirl, don’t. Don’t say we’re over when we haven’t even started. “Loch, I need to tell you something.”
I clench my teeth for the punch. “Yeah?”
You’re going to a sex club because you want to date others like @LuvPounder. He’s never lied to you.
“I’m going out with my best friend tonight.”
Because you’re kinky like me, but I came on too strong, was too open, while @LuvPounder is perfect and aloof.
I’m going down a dark rabbit hole of insecurities. “Yeah.”
“And we’re going to a club.”
Because I said you’re mine. I’m going too fast and pushing you away.
“Okay.” I blink back the shit biting at my eyes.
“And it’s… It’s…” she stammers.
It’s not okay. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to love you, Alena. How it’s been me all along.
I’m going to break someone’s spine over my knee. Definitely the first man who touches her. And the last. Death will die before I’m done killing for her.
She huffs, sounding frustrated, “God, I feel so stupid. I don’t know how to keep it on the down-low, or—”
“The down-low?”
You need to stop being so goddamn cute while you kill me.
“See?” She lilts. “I can’t be sexy and play games with you or be chill or whatever. We’re a thing, right? A couple? Or maybe we are? You probably don’t care, but—”
“I care. And yes, we’re a couple.” My nostrils flare. “Me and you, Alena, no one else; don’t ever doubt it. I don’t play games either. We’re doing this, so tell me anything, Babygirl, and I’m always here.”
Come on, tell me. Tell me who you really are.
One of us needs to be real.
“Okay.” Her relieved sigh matches my heart. “So, we’re going… Hang on. My heart’s beating fast.” Mine too. “You know, when you call me that, I lose it.”
“You’re not lost. You’re found. I know who you are, Alena—you’re mine.”
Fuck it. One night. One year. One lifetime or ten. It’ll never be enough with her, so I might as well go for it. I’ll give her every part of me except the piece I have to hide.
But she’s quiet. “Babygirl?” Too quiet. “Babygirl, answer m—”
“Stop.”
“What’s wrong? What did I sa—”
“I get so warm and wet when you call me that, but we’re on the phone, and this sucks because I really want to be with you, and—”
“Tell me where you are, and I’ll get you.”
I’ll rip mountains apart to get to you.
“But that’s just it.” She huffs fretfully.
“I’m at my best friend’s place, and I promised I’d go to a sex club with her tonight, not to cheat on you, never.
It’s just to see things. I feel like you have more experience than me, and…
” Pause. “Scratch that. After you made me come this morning,”—my dick hardens—“I know you have way more experience than me, so I wanted to watch and learn. But I feel guilty, like I should tell you. I’d never lie to you or cheat or—”
“I’ll meet you there.”
“Wh… Wait. What?” she stammers, giggling. “Are you serious?”
“Dead serious. Tell me where, and I’ll meet you.”
“Have you heard of the club in the old Naval yard?”
“Yeah. I’ve been there.”
I’m standing in it.
“You have?”
She sounds hurt. It’s a knife in my heart. @DirtTGirl trusts me, and I need my Babygirl to trust me too.
“Alena, let me cut the bullshit with you. I learned how to be a Dom at that club, but I haven’t fucked a woman in three years.
Me and my fists were just fine until I met you.
And now, I’m fucking dying to be with you, only you, and I don’t need to know who you fucked before me either.
In fact, don’t tell me because I’ll kill him.
Or them. I don’t give a shit who or how many there were before me because I’ll make you feel so good, you’ll forget them all. I’m yours, and you’re mine. Right?”
Yep, it’s Fate. Her strings tether me to Alena.
Maybe it happened when we were born. Maybe it happened that day by the ocean. Maybe it was yesterday. It doesn’t matter. I lose all sense of time when I can sense her panting breath. “Say it, Babygirl. Who do you belong to?”
“Loch.” She sounds so sure. So confident. So mine. “You, Sir. I’m locked to you.”
I grin at her pun. “Good girl. I’ll meet you at the club.”
“But I’ll be wearing a mask. How will you know it’s me?”
“I won’t. But my heart will.”