Chapter 38
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
LOCH
Three months later
Loneliness is a distinct feeling. It’s a heavy grief, shadowing you even when you’re not alone.
I’m well aware that with my broken heart, I’m a cancer in every room. A killjoy the moment I walk in.
At the ranger station, I don’t make eye contact. Around the park with visitors, I don’t say much. Whenever I catch a glimpse of Alena, I don’t shoot another cruel arrow into her wounded heart.
I softly smile.
But she turns away.
But when I’m with my brothers, the kings and our queens, they know my pain. It’s why I’m left out of their joy. Why I put on a brave face, trying not to piss on their parade, but they know me too well.
And on a night like this? Some of them felt it too.
“What did I tell you about resuming Operation Grovel For Alena?” Wren asks, crawling into my lap for a hug. She wraps her petite arms around my neck, trying to cheer me.
“What did I teach you about pleasing women?” Delphine adds, nudging Wren over, claiming my other thigh to perch upon.
“Alena hates groveling.” I shift on my throne, making room for our queens. “Arouse a woman, never annoy her; that’s what you taught me.”
Delphine cants her head. Schooling with her sarcasm. “Ouais. Ignore her instead. That will surely win her back.”
“I’d never ignore her. I watch her every day. I love her, respect her; I’m giving her time.”
Am I fazed that the queens are nude and dripping with their king’s claim? No. Even wearing my suit, we’re all stripped bare in our throne room; it’s our bond.
“You’ve spent enough time being Mr. Wrong.” Ruby crawls out of Axel’s arms. “It’s time you be Mr. Right.”
Ruby’s initiation is complete. She’s glowing from her bond with Axel and Grant, her second king. She even took pity on me and gave me a moment’s release from pain tonight.
But I didn’t touch her.
I won’t be with another woman.
Still, I couldn’t deny how intoxicating it is, watching a king initiate his queen.
A queen so kind, Ruby knew I was hurting without Alena, so she didn’t leave me out of our ritual.
She made me tug her nipple chains, serving her while Axel claimed her ass so hard, her pleasure showered the floor.
For a few minutes, I was drowning in lust and loneliness.
Now, I’m just lonely again, though the queens circle me like a pride of lionesses, taking pity on the youngest lion, licking his wounds.
“So, what are you suggesting?” I ask Ruby, not able to ignore how Axel’s collar belongs on her throat. How his ring fits her finger. How her fiery mane can’t be tamed. All that’s missing is her crown.
Scratch that: what’s missing is Alena.
She’s my queen. She belongs in this room. She deserves to be initiated. Of course, without her father around, but our bond would heal her; I know it. Her test wasn’t enough, though I fear it’s all we’ll have—the memory.
“I’m suggesting a plan.” Ruby throws her arm over Vale’s shoulder, then Zar’s.
The kings, my brothers, relax on their thrones. In our new throne room on the third floor of Delta’s, they’re in no rush. They’ve claimed their queens.
All but me and Jace.
And the kings know better than to interfere with a queens’ plan. After all, it’s the lionesses who hunt, while the lions protect their cubs and territory.
Drowning in estrogen, I cock an eyebrow. “What kind of plan?”
Wren blurts out, “I vote for a girls’ spa getaway with Alena!”
“Ahem.” Zar smirks with his bearded lips.
“I mean a queens’ spa weekend,” Wren chirps.
“Better, darlin’.” Zar winks.
“No way.” Vale props against Ruby. “First, no one’s told Alena yet about the kings and queens.
About this.” She gestures to the low black leather platform where she relished her initiation.
Ruby too. And it stirs my cock, imagining Alena’s initiation in the same spot, as Vale adds, “She’s been too overwhelmed processing the whole not-mafia-mafia thing; me-with-her-dad thing; and the whole Loch-lied-to-her thing. ”
I mutter, exhausted, “I never wanted to lie to her.”
“We know.” Wren pecks my cheek. “You were protecting her from Bratva bullshit. She’ll understand one day.”
Her optimism is almost contagious.
Until Zar asks Vale, “What’s the second thing, darlin’, cuz you just fired off three reasons for her to run like hell from us?”
“Huh.” Vale cocks her head, her long black braids tickling her naked nipples. “Don’t know. Guess I’m like Alena. I’m still getting used to the mafia thing.”
“We’re not Mafia,” Axel calls out. Sprawled naked across the platform, he’s sated like a massive inked lion. But I know him. It’s a matter of minutes before his pierced dick is stalking for Ruby again.
“No, but Wren’s right.” Sire lords from his black throne, across the circle from mine. “This is real Bratva bullshit, and Loch’s been the sacrificial lamb.”
“I’m no fucking little lamb.”
“Ouais, we know.” Delphine pets my shoulder, appeasing egos. “You are a very big lion.”
“Hey!” Grant shouts from his fourth throne. “I’m fucking big too!”
“The biggest, my king. Tu es l'amour de ma vie.” Delphine blows him a kiss.
He catches it in the air, touching it to his dick. Dumbass.
“So, what’s the plan?” I focus on Ruby because I’m shit out of luck and ideas.
I’m happy for Alena to have Mutt, keeping her company. I’m not too proud to take the shit-shift at work, so Alena can maintain the status she’s earned. I don’t mind losing sleep, watching her from my deck every night. I know she sees me.
She sees me talking with Wilder, Remi, and Bishop. You can’t miss their hogs, rumbling up the mountain when they stop by to exchange intel. From the ridge above our cabins, they overlook ours. Alena knows they’re her backup guards.
Deftly, she ignores them.
She’s going on with her life.
But she’s ignoring me, and it’s like a barrage of bullets.
I can’t stop bleeding for her.
Ruby scans the queens—her, Zar, Delphine, Wren, and Vale. Then, she glances over her shoulder at her kings, commanding, “We all work together to get Alena to come to our wedding. We make her feel welcome and give her a choice to join us.”
“My queen,” Axel challenges lowly, “you sure that’s a good idea?”
An odd look slides between them. I catch it before Ruby lowers her chin at Axel, answering her fiancé, “Yes. I want Alena there. She belongs with us.”
“Ouais. Listen to Ruby.” Delphine chides, “You kings have controlled enough of Alena’s life. Give her the power now.”
“What if she says no?” Nash asks, hissing a sip of vodka over his lips.
“She won’t say no to me,” Vale replies.
“Poison,” Nash warns her. “Alena needs your friendship. Don’t risk it by guilting her into something she doesn’t want to do.”
“She wants to be with Vale.” I mumble, “Just not with me. Not anymore. Alena hates me.”
“Aw, Loch.” Wren rests her long crown of curls on my shoulder. “I have a strict policy: nobody cries alone in my presence.”
Zar chuckles. It tickles at my sad lips. Wren’s always quoting Dolly Parton.
“She doesn’t hate you. She just wants to smash your balls.” It’s a stark contrast to the Wednesday Addams vibe Vale always brings with her command. “So, you’ll come to Axel and Ruby’s wedding, grovel on the beaches of Mykonos until your kneecaps bleed, and get Alena back.”
Nash laughs. “The queens have spoken.”