Chapter 44
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
ALENA
I tug gently to climb off him, to stand and tell him the truth.
If I’m his queen, then it’s what I should do, right?
Stand in my truth.
But he yanks me back. “No, Babygirl. We stay like this. Tethered. Talking. And working it out. Tell me, and no matter what it is, I’ll still love you.”
Now, I know how he felt. Hating the pain that comes with the truth, but you can’t stop it.
Not if you want love.
“Loch.” I cup his hands, claiming my hips, needing to hang on to him desperately. I need a chance, like I’m giving him. “Michael Cummings, my godfather, was my first.”
He blinks.
Fuck, this sucks, hurting him, but…
You’re a queen, Alena. Act like it.
“Yes, your brother, Axel. But I didn’t know he was your brother. And it was one time, years ago, and I asked him. It’s not his fault. It was mine.”
He pulls back, disbelieving. “Axel?”
“Yes.” A tear falls with my confession. “I felt so ugly. So damaged after that day at the beach. I was never kissed, never asked out, never touched. Just bullied. Until I made it to twenty-one and couldn’t take it anymore.
I didn’t want to be a sad virgin, so I begged Michael.
I mean… Axel, to take my virginity, and he helped me. ”
His pause is long. His fists, balling against my hips. “Did you love him?”
“No. And he didn’t love me. It was a pity fuck.”
His nostrils flare. “Did he hurt you?”
“Never. Honestly, in retrospect, I put him in a tough spot. I was crying, and it’s like he couldn’t say no to me.” I palm his chest. It’s heaving. “But this was way before me and you. Before him and Ruby. It was so long ago, and it didn’t feel wrong until I found out he’s your brother.”
His voice drops, growling, “He’s your father’s brother, too, not by blood, but you know it doesn’t matter. We’re gonna kill him.”
I fist his shirt. “Don’t hurt him. Don’t let my dad hurt him either. I’m tired of the fighting. Axel did nothing wrong. It was me. I begged him.”
Rage ignites his aqua eyes. His muscles tense underneath me. Good god, this man looks lethal when provoked.
“Did Axel start it? Did he kiss you?”
“No, not on the mouth. You were my first kiss. You’ve felt like my first everything.”
My head is pounding. My rationale, seeking relief.
“God, Loch, I don’t want to share the details. I’m not asking them about Delphine and snatching hair over it. She was your first, your brother’s wife, and I understand. It’s all I need to know.”
I cup his clenched jaw, sighing. “Look, I love you, and you love me. So, it doesn’t matter how we got here; we are. We’re here with me dreaming about a dozen of our babies in a log cabin with you.”
He mutters, “It’s not funny, Alena.”
“No. It’s Fate.” I soften. “It’s what we’ll name our first daughter.”’
“Goddammit.” He cups my neck, pulling my forehead to his. I lose count of the breaths it takes for him to see it like I do; our future, not our past.
“Fine,” he fumes. “I won’t be a hypocrite with you. I get that part: Delphine helped me, Axel helped you, but he should’ve told me. He’s my King, my brother.”
“But don’t you see? Axel’s always protected me.
If he had told you, or told my dad before I did, he would’ve robbed me of my story, my power.
He’s just like you; he sacrificed his brothers for a woman, a queen.
” It dawns: the irony, the fate. “Like a second king, right? It must be how you feel about Delphine? Not romantic love. Just this fierce loyalty to sacrifice for her?”
With two heavy breaths, he demands, “I need time with this. I’m... I’m... Fuck, I’m trying to reason through rage.”
I arch a brow. “I know the feeling.”
I understand his shock—even his pain. But you can’t stay angry when no one wanted to hurt you. Again, our feelings are cosmic mirrors. Fate gave us too many parallels not to find forgiveness.
“But goddammit, Babygirl.” He fists my hair, fighting it. “I want to kill him over you.”
“But you won’t. You’ll talk to him later.” I assuage my beast. He respects me. “Let him and Ruby have this time. And,” I insist, “I’ll tell my dad when I’m ready.”
He shakes his head, warning, “All hell will break loose when you do.”
“I know, so I need our heaven again.” I kiss him softly, soothing, seeking. “Please. We’ve been through enough. I just want to be back with you.”
He nuzzles my nose, grabbing me tighter. “Just tell me… please…” Pain grabs his voice. “Did he ever hold you?”
Oh, my beast, my bear, my baby.
“No. No one did.” Tears choke my voice. “I swear, Loch, you’re my first. My love. My mountain and home.”
Growling, he kisses me. In a whirl, I’m in his arms, being carried to his bed. Lying me down, he mounts me, claiming my kiss again, his tongue controlling mine. It always opens my thighs to him, moaning, but he surprises me.
Wrapping his body around mine, he settles behind me, lacing our fingers together, tethered. “You’re my queen, Alena.”
I can feel his possession, hot, hungry, and urging so hard against me. It makes my sex ache, needing him, missing him as I rasp, “Are we going to fu—”
“No.” He thrusts against my ass. “I’ll never hurt you, but right now I need to fuck you so hard, I will.”
I sigh, reunited with my beautiful beast.
And ready, any time he attacks.